Ladies of Bp.Net, I need some help.

[CoolioTiffany]

You're using fuzzy math, Tiff

Hey I'm actually DOING math to say the least LOL. Math isn't a very fun subject for me.. I don't like it much.

[BuckeyeBalls]

Hey I'm actually DOING math to say the least LOL. Math isn't a very fun subject for me.. I don't like it much.

Still off by 10 years

[CoolioTiffany]

Still off by 10 years

No I'm not D:

My uncle is 44 and born on the same day as me so we are exactly 30 years apart.

Ohhh wait.. dang I do suck at math. Nevermind, she's 23 years older than me

[coldblooded]

No I'm not D:

My uncle is 44 and born on the same day as me so we are exactly 30 years apart.

Ohhh wait.. dang I do suck at math. Nevermind, she's 23 years older than me

Derp


OP, you deserve better. Find someone who can respect you and what you love. He definitely sounds like a creep...

[Kaorte]

No I'm not D:

My uncle is 44 and born on the same day as me so we are exactly 30 years apart.

Ohhh wait.. dang I do suck at math. Nevermind, she's 23 years older than me

Stay in school munchkin!

[Foschi Exotic Serpents]

Your right, I keep telling myself that I am happy. When deep down I really am not and it didn't hit me until tonight when he got upset that we couldn't hang out when we spent all day yesterday and the whole weekend together. He took me on a walk and talked to me about "commitment" and that he'd like it if I texted/called him more than I already do to tell him what I am doing during the day.
I am asking because I don't want to make the wrong decision and regret it, I told him straight up that I was not getting rid of any of my animals and had plans with what I wanted to go. He just thought it was funny because I was getting really defensive over an animal.

Shall I do more than highlight it?

You already know whats ups. He made you happy and you thought he was different because he was "woooing" you. Now 2 months later he is trying the controlling thing. I dont see it as a definate sign of impending abuse only because he may be the one who is dependant. So dependant on you that he can have it no other way. It actually sounds like he is trying to fullfill his own insecurities without appearing less manly. I actually had a boyfriend just like this. He wouldnt hurt a fly and never would have raised a hand or a voice to me, but he was very insecure and had a subtle control over me. Wanting to know what I was doing 24/7 and getting suspicious if I was anywhere without him. Difference is, my ex accepted my hobbies. Wether he agreed or not so It wasnt the exact same as your situation.

It is definately a bad sign though. Either he will become controlling and possibly abusive, or he will be an untrusting, insecure wreck if you are not glued to him. Niether is good. Just dont let him push you into anything. He says move in, you say no, thats that. If he continues to get worse you will need nothing more from him.

Your animals are your life and soul. Anyone who loves you would love your passions and the way they make you smile. Because seeing your significant other just light up when they see something like that, should make anyone in their presence smile. The happiness a passion and hobby like this can bring a person is contagious. In my mind, even if my boyfriend couldnt stand snakes, if he saw me smile at a beautiful animal and comment on it, he should at least be happy that Im happy. Otherwise there is something inhuman about him and I dont want to be with that person.

[Jeremy78]

He sounds like kinda a douche. I was with my ex for 4 years before she started doing this to me. If you're not allowed to do what you want in life is it worth it?
This isn't always guys who do this btw... Like I said my ex hated the fact I liked reptiles and thought it was "weird". She complained about it 24/7 and to be honest it stressed the crap out of me. We didn't even live together and shed still complain about every second I spent with my pets.
Well to say the least she's now my ex and I'm sooooo happy! I met a new girl and she is amazing! She doesn't like snakes but tolerates them and doesn't mind that I like them. She even finds them interesting and touched one lol. It will take some time but soon you will find someone .
If it's only been two months and he's acting like this though... Perhaps it's time to get your pole out again and catch a better one.

[unspecified42]

When I was doing my psych eval to be a surrogate the shrink asked me, "what would you do if you met the man of your life during the process and he didn't agree with you being a surrogate?"

Easy answer. He wouldn't be the man of my life.

I think you're in the same situation.

[rabernet]

He doesn't like doing what I do

This was the red blinking light in your original post for me.

What sort of long term relationship can you have with another person who doesn't even share common interests with you?

You are a beautiful young lady. I'm not sure how old you are, but I can tell you when I was in my early 20's, I went through a period of very low self esteem and thought that I "needed" to have a man in my life to be truly happy.

It took me being alone for 3 years (during my mid/late 20's) to learn to love myself. To do things for ME - to be selfish for ME. To acknowledge to myself that I did not NEED a man in my life to be an incredible woman in my own right.

Karl (who I have been with for 14 years now) does not have the same passion that I have for the reptiles, but never once has he told me that I can't add a new animal, or that I have to get rid of any of them. He doesn't care so much for the shows, but he LOVES going to the shows for the social aspect of it. Most shows we go to are out of town and weekend get aways, and he loves the folks (many of them from here) that we've met through this hobby. He even asks when the next show is. I think he looks forward to seeing the people we've met through this hobby as much as I do.

Bottom line - drop him - the warning signs are all there about his controlling nature, in month TWO no less. It can only lead to resentment and hard feelings in the long term. Cut your ties, and start doing things for YOU. If you like to volunteer, start to do more of that in your community - you never know who you might meet who also has a giving spirit - though don't volunteer as a means to meet someone, that would just be a pleasant possibility if it were to happen.

You will be fine! I promise!

[mechnut450]

I hate to say it ( might been siad before) I dump this guy he sounds liek he may become the controlling type that you have to have to ask to breath later on.. I seen guys liek this (when my mom was dating ( back ni the day) and they end up beingthe ones that got drunk and pissed and came home beating the person they so called loved.

From what I little I know about you shecountry89 your not a person that will be beaten or take anyone crap, so I find you a better man lol..
I offer up but I know I am:
1 too old.
2 to far off.
3 not worth much in a trade