Punishment and Responsibility

[Jay_Bunny]

Not this past summer but the summer before, my car was in an accident and I was not able to drive it. It sat in my mother's driveway so my brother could begin working on it. Before he even got the chance, my sister decided to take it for a joy ride (she was 14 at the time) and ended up smashing it into a tree. Well my mother paid for some parts and my brother got the front of my car fixed up and it was drivable. My mother said my sister said she would not get her license until she was 18 and would have to get a job to pay to have the back of my jeep replaced. (she hit the tree so hard it jammed the back in so the hatch won't open.) Well here I am over a year later and my jeep's back still has not been replaced (sister has not gotten a job even though she is now 16).

Well I was at a family dinner on Sunday and my mom said she was thinking of buying my sister a car and she could get her license. I calmly reminded my mom that she had said my sister would not get her license until she was 18 and that she shouldn't be allowed to get it yet. My mom responded that it wasn't my decision and I had no say in the matter.

So here I am with a jeep that I can't get into the back, no money to pay for it myself, my sister won't get a job to pay for it to be replaced, she gets to get her license on time, and on top of it might get a car. I was out of a car for a month because of the extra parts needed and my brother doing extra work because of the extra damage done to the car. The value of the car has gone down even more because of the damage still on the car (the back hatch). If I decide to move soon, I can't use my jeep to move things like I used to. I'll have to rent a truck to move furniture.

So what do I do? Why do I do so much for my sister and mother, yet receive this in return?

[2kdime]

Family and friends seem to be the WORST to lend cars to.

I had my truck side swiped by a fence by my life long friend and was able to get 40 bucks 3 years later on a 600 dollar quote to fix.

[Elise.m]

I'd strike up an agreement with your sister to pay for the damages and get it in writing.

I do things for my family all the time and get nothing in return. I know how you feel, it's crummy.

[Jay_Bunny]

Well I didn't lend it to anyone. She took the keys while no one was home and took it for a drive around the block. When she went to park it back in the driveway, she hit the gas by accident and hit the house, freaked out and backed up and hit a tree (only after hitting my brother's car as well).

That sucks about only getting a fraction of what you were owed. Doesn't it suck when you are the nice guy and it comes back to kick you in the face?

[wolfy-hound]

You can either stop doing stuff for them.. and end up in a huge family fight..
Or you can basically decide to just let it go and let them continue to spoil her and not make her pay for anything.

It's a family thing. If you're living outside the home in your own place, then you can just make certain not to assist with things they want you to do. When she took your car you could have pressed charges at the time.. but you chose not to.. trusting your parent to pay for the damages(whether she said your sister would do it herself or not, as the adult, she took on the responsibilty of the bill). Since your parent seems to have no intentions on paying the bill, you can either try to go to small claims court(not worth it in so many way) or just suck it up and ignore it.

I'd say move on.. and stop doing things for them. If they can't uphold their responsibilties to you, don't do things for them.

[Seru1]

Relationships are give and take. If all they do is take then I'd cut all ties.


Of course that means any parental support you receive would be cut to. Be prepared to walk hard if you walk alone.

[Danounet]

I dont know what to say, that sucks. Thankfully my parents always treated my 2 brothers and I equally. The way I see it though. Usually people that get spoiled have a harder time standing on their own 2 feet later on in life. Responsability and growing up go hand in hand.

Relationships are give and take. If all they do is take then I'd cut all ties.


Of course that means any parental support you receive would be cut to. Be prepared to walk hard if you walk alone.

This sounds like every single one of my ex-relationships.

[Jay_Bunny]

Well I am a firm believer in what you put out into the world comes back to you. One day she's going to get the same slap to the face I got from them.

I'm not going to cut all ties. I know my mother. She doesn't stick to anything. Right now she is living rent free in a house owned by my grandmother. My grandmother is 67 years old and is working just about full time to pay the bills and payments on that house because my mom won't pay her for it. My mom also owes me $5000 for something else but I've given up on that. Ugh! And my grandmother knows I'd pay the rent on that house and keep it nice and clean (my mom keeps it nice but it just sucks that she makes my grandmother who should be enjoying these years to the fullest, work to support her when she doesn't need it.)

Gotta love family I guess. I talked to my sister tonight and she says she will pay to have the back end replaced. Only time will tell if she keeps to her word.

[Danounet]

Hmm well usually grandmothers have soft spot for hardworking grandkids. Im pretty sure she will reward you later .

My last ex in-laws are the kind of people that never stick to what ever they say. My ex knows this, but she wont admit she is going down the same road. But that's not something I have to worry about anymore. All I can say is that dont repeat the same cycle later on in life with your own family.

[Seru1]

This sounds like every single one of my ex-relationships.

Precisely why I avoid relationships like the plague