If Ball Pythons could talk.

[Big Gunns]

You again??? What the heck are you waking me up for this time? Oh...it's food time huh and you have my favorite...a lousy stinking F/T white rat. PFFFFT. Well guess what buddy...you wasted your money. I ain't eating it. You feed me the same thing every single week and you expect me to eat this crap. Go find me something better. It's winter time and I'm gonna mess with you for the next 6 months.

Now what are you doing? You think just because you warmed the rat up I'm gonna eat it. You really are a moron you know that. I'm sick of rats you bozo. Now leave me alone. I was busy resting in the same spot I've been in for the last 2 years.

You're back again? What the heck are you doing to my cage? You think I want this crumpled up newspaper all over the place? What do you think that's really gonna do bozo? You think because there's newspaper all over my cage I'm gonna eat that lousy rat. Try again. That's three rats you wasted. Now leave me alone so I can dream of the sexy Bumble Bee in the next tub.

NOW WHAT????? You split the rats skull??? What kind of psycho are you? You think I wanna get those brains all over me? Do I look like some kind of psycho Ball Python to you? Get lost Einstein.

OMG....you just never quit do yah? A gerbil? You want me to eat a live Gerbil? Look at the cute leetle thing. It has a cute furry tail. I can't eat the poor leeetle Gerbil. Give it to the kid next door as a pet or something and for the last time. It's winter. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!!!!

You're back?? That's it...I've had it with you. Where are we going? You're putting me in a bag? WTF is going on now? 30 minutes later. Oh...you again. What's up Doc? Yeah...I tried to tell the idiot it was winter and I didn't feel like eating, but he didn't listen. Just give me one of those nice massages and hit him for about $150. Hey there...what are you doing back there? HEY!!!! Get that thing outta there. I'm a boy remember...there's no need for that. OWWWWWW....you could have used a leetle more lube yah know.

FOR THE LOVE OF BIG GUNNS WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW???? HMMMMM. Now what's this? My instincts tell me that this leeetle creature might be tasty. He kinda smells like home. Hold on a second. Uncle Candyball was telling me about these. It's an African Soft furred rat. Uncle Candyball said he loved them. Say your prayers ASF....fasting time is over.


The End.

[BPelizabeth]

Have you been up all night alone and drinking?











cute story!! I have one that I swear if she could talk she would say....hey you...look at me...Im so pretty...don't you think Im pretty. Oh just rub me right there....don't stop looking at me...as I am sooooooooo pretty. Look into my eyes.......... Seriously....lol.

[shescountry89]

Have you been up all night alone and drinking?

I second that statment, lol.
I will you some kudos for that, it was pretty amusing

(:

[PolishPython]

Awesome !! lol

[SlitherinSisters]

That just made my day

[Chocolate Muffin's]

so you've attempted to prove that you apparently have other skills besides stunning good looks

[BOWSER11788]

same problem here, BG, whats a ASF, might have to try it.

[Big Gunns]

Have you been up all night alone and drinking?











cute story!! I have one that I swear if she could talk she would say....hey you...look at me...Im so pretty...don't you think Im pretty. Oh just rub me right there....don't stop looking at me...as I am sooooooooo pretty. Look into my eyes.......... Seriously....lol.

Well if you count Caffeine free Diet coke...well yes.... BG was "Up all night alone drinking"

BG was just bored as usual and thought he'd tell a bed time story to his fans. He wishes he would have given it some thought instead of "winging it" though. BG has a much better story today.

I second that statment, lol.
I will you some kudos for that, it was pretty amusing

(:

Anything for BG's fans.

Awesome !! lol

BG knows he is.

That just made my day

If BG could cheer anyone up, he's sure glad he was able to help you Isis. Stay strong girl.... and stay tuned.

so you've attempted to prove that you apparently have other skills besides stunning good looks

Big Gunns doesn't "attempt" anything. He just DOES!!!!!!

BG still has many hidden talents that he may reveal to his fans in the future....if they're lucky.

same problem here, BG, whats a ASF, might have to try it.

Didn't you read the story? African Soft furred rat dummy. Sometimes they can work miracles on problem feeders. An ASFto a Ball is like Pizza is to Big Gunns. Some Balls just love them.

[Stewart_Reptiles]

Glad to see that if your BP could talk they wouldn't do it in the third person

[Big Gunns]

Glad to see that if your BP could talk they wouldn't do it in the third person

Yeah...that was one of the things BG would have changed in today's story.