Lol anyone seen this before?

[Darkice]

Not sure if this was ever posted but it was funny. Found it on the net while looking for anaconda videos. I dont know if its real or a joke.


Anaconda Attack

The following is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. It tells what to do in case an anaconda attacks you.

1. If you are attacked by an anaconda do not run. The snake is faster than you are.

2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another.

3. Tuck your chin in.

4. The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body.

5. Do not panic.

6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet and always from the end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic.

7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.

8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.

9. Be sure you have your knife.

10. Be sure your knife is sharp

[Beardedragon]

So what happens if it starts to eat you head first? Better yet constricts first. Im 100% sure its just a joke.

[Hardwikk]

Yeah, it's a joke. Anacondas are not "faster than you"; they're the slowest things (not including their attack). If you ran away you'd be fine.

P.S. This is my last post under the name "Onua Nuva"

[blackcrystal22]

This has been posted on here a couple of times.
It is more referenced to.. many many years ago.

[sg1trogdor]

This has been posted on here a couple of times.
It is more referenced to.. many many years ago.

NEver gets dull though lol.

[Hardwikk]

Yeah, it's a joke. Anacondas are not "faster than you"; they're the slowest things (not including their attack). If you ran away you'd be fine.

P.S. This is my last post under the name "Onua Nuva"

And come on! You shouldn't put your arms to to your sides! You'd just be easier to swallow. It should say "make like a starfish". Whoever originally wrote this probably didn't even know what family condas are in!

[Blightedchemist]

If it were real, I think rules nine and ten would come WAY before rule 8.

[redpython]

isn't this from 1945...or something?

[zackw419]

X 10

Thats pretty creative haha

[unrezt]

LOL. oh man.