I need your opinion

[MeMe]

here is her first message to me...

Dear Melissa,

I know that you have stressed your regret and are very sorry for what Sway has done to Roscoe but I have to say something that I am unable to on the phone or directly to your face....

I really do feel that you and Jeff should somehow repay me for atleast half of Roscoe's Medical bills, because really I feel that Sway is at a fault. Not only did "WE" as a whole know that Sway has an aggressive behavior to other animals but you had to go out of your way to control her. I am so stressed about this hurting our friendship, which I value very much, and I don't want this to come between us. All morning I have been surveying web pages to find out what I should do, like am I crazy for thinking that YOU should pay anything in this situation? Well it seems that every site I go to puts me back in the same position that I currently lead... I don't know how to handle this, and I wish it never happened, but it did and we need to come to some resolution. I want you to remember...I REALLY VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND DON'T WANT THIS TO HURT YOU OR OUR RELATIONSHIP. Now, as far as paying for something in this situation, I know you don't have the money right now and I understand that. If we can work something out where you pay me a little over time. I just need this feeling to go away and to get this off my chest. I also want you to know that if the table was ever turned I would do all that I could to repay you.



so I wrote....

First I would like to address the fact that you don't feel that you can have a mature conversation with me when I tried to speak with you about this matter over the phone this morning. Seems kinda high schoolish to send me a myspace message but hey...it's whatev.

As far as for my concern for Roscoe..you have no idea how upset I have been over this. If you remember correctly...I am the one who suggested that you take him to a vet a couple days ago which probably could have made a difference.

You say that WE knew as a whole that Sway is aggressive towards other animals yet YOU didn't take any precautions when you walked in MY house with him loose.

You were told numerous times that Sway doesn't get along with other dogs..yet you brought yours over anyway.

You also knew that you were supposed to call before you came over and you didn't.

We have gone above and beyond to accomodate your dogs when they were here to include pinning our dogs up for hours while yours run around my house freely.

You say that it is Sway's fault...hmph...I don't think so. You need to accept that it is YOUR own fault...not Roscoe's ...and certainly not Sway's.

You need to realize that accidents happen. And sometimes their your own fault. If I would have asked everyone of my fiends for money everytime one of my kids got hurt at their house...I'd be rich...but I know accidents happen.

Let me ask you question...If you were my neighbor and I had my dog outside my house on a leash and your dog came into my yard...and my dog bit yours...whose fault would it be?

If you were in my shoes...that's kinda funny actually cause if I were in YOUR shoes...I wouldn't ask you for [crap]. just sayin'

At the least I owe you...no...at the MOST..I owe you is half. Rememeber...you brought your dog in MY house.

I am pretty hurt that you didn't feel you could talk to me but I think I understand...it's a maturity factor.

However..the only oligation I feel is a moral obligation. I will pay you $291.50 which is half of the $583.00 that you said the vet bill was. As you know I am unable to right now so I will send you what I can in the mail via money order until $291.50 is paid.

Also...Jeff and I would like a copy of Roscoe's vet bill to keep on file until this is resolved.

Melissa


she worte...

I will get you any paper work you need. I apologize for the inconvience I imposed for bringing over the dogs, I didn't realize. The reason I could'nt talk about it before is just the simple fact that I really liked you and wanted to be able to say the things I meant without something stupid coming out..I wanted to be able to edit myself, not because I was afraid or immature. And also, I was let in by your son I think that day and sway was away...until she got loose. I should have never brought him over and I'm sorry that I brought this on you and Roscoe. I apologize. The one thing I will say in closing: If this was my child who was bitten would you still be taking this stern of a stance? I will get you anything you request again I am sorry.


so I wrote...


Inconvience....ha..yea..ok.

I understand that you were let in by my son (and not me) ..however...do yo think it was smart of you to just come walking in with yor dog at your side when you KNEW that my pitbull was even in the house? Did Jeff, Sara, or I know you were even here? No. we didn't which is why I asked you specifically to CALL ME FIRST.


As far as taking a strong stance...Why yes I will when it comes to defending my home...my family..and my pets..especially when they are NOT wrong. One day when you have a family you will understand.

Again...you should be able to see that this is most definitely YOUR fault and NOT anyone elses.

However...since you asked. No...if Sway had bit a child..It would have been a total differenet situation..but she didn't. She bit your dog which happened to be in HER house.

Let's try to stay away from the apples to oranges comparrisons..ok.

I find it funny that you say "Sway got loose". She was in her own home! She didn't "get loose"! Your dog was loose when it came in my house. Sorry but I do not feel Sway was wrong.

My dog was WELL within her rights in her home.

I am not gonna play the blame game because when i comes down to it...neither of the dogs could have controlled the situation...the only person that could have was you.

you can forwad a copy of the vet bill to my email address.

jeffnmenr3@msn.com

[frankykeno]

Well hon, you're sort of stuck now since you've agreed to pay half the vet bill (which I would not have done). Not because I'm cheap or mean but because when I read her message to you there was not ONE hint she feels in anyway responsible for her dog entering YOUR home unleashed. She's searching the internet? For what, reasons to sue you and Jeff? Maybe she'd better spend her time searching her heart for the definition of the word "friendship".

Tell me this Meme. Have you ever once imposed on your friendship with her by taking Sway to her home and insisting she pen up those little ankle biters of hers while you had coffee?

Look, Meme, my dog Bella isn't dog aggressive at all but if I had a friend with a toy or very small breed I would not allow them to bring it here. Bella is 70 lbs of stupid, happy, goofy Labrador. She's simply too big to not accidentally injure a tiny breed dog trying to play with it. I'd expect anyone calling me their friend to understand that I didn't want to see their dog hurt but I'm not penning up my dog while their's runs loose and drives mine nuts.

Oh and Memes, you might want to ask her, since she can't get the concept of keeping her own dogs under control in YOUR home. Would she like to cover the costs for any medical bills when HER dogs nip YOUR kids? Or does she only think Pitbulls bite?

[mooingtricycle]

id sever all ties to this person as soon as possible. Man... that does NOT sound like a REAL friend.

Im sorry you have to deal with this, and agreeing to pay, youve definitely got a big heart. Youre better than these sorts of people, thats 100% for sure.

[West Coast Jungle]

My own brother who has two dogs would never bring his dogs over without completey clearing it with me and Laurie.

I myself would never take my dog Harry to anyones house knowing a conflict could arise and cause any harm to my baby!

My dogs safety comes first and possibly putting him in harms way just does not make sense.

An dog owner is responsible for their dogs safety and bringing the to a place were an accident or conflict is highly possible is just irresponsible.

I take my dog to work in my truck almost everyday but he never leaves that truck if there is ANY chance he may harm or be harmed by another animal.

If you were walking down the street with your dog and a conflict occured then i would say that changes things but in your own home, were it was obvious to your friend your dog is and can be aggressive, puts the resposibility(and stupidity) completely on her shoulders.

Were you supposed to be psychic and know in advance she was coming over with her dogs? Lets get real.

lesson learned

[frankykeno]

You know on further reflection, the really sad part of all of this is, depending on what the breed specific laws are where you live Meme, it may be better to just pay her off (then turf her and her friendship to the curb). I know here in Toledo we have so many problems with bad Pit owners that even good Pit owners with nice dogs are under the gun and hassled a lot.

As much as it galls me to say, it may be cheaper in the long run to give this chick the cash rather than have the dog warden, your house insurance agent and so forth at your door. Sucks but if she's been "searching the internet" she's looking for ways to make you pay that may cost you and Jeff a lot more than a couple of hundred bucks. Some friend...geesh!

[Adam_Wysocki]

All I have to say is this ...

"If I knew it was going to be that kind of party I would have stuck my dog in the mashed potatoes"

... but that's besides the point.

Why is it that some people don't know how to act in other peoples homes?

MeMes, you're more than right in this situation and your "friend" is an idiot ... yeah, that's right, I said it.

In closing I'll say this ... Jamies and Amys dog eats horse poop when they bring her over here ... should I clean up 1/2 of her doo doo afterwards? I think not.

-adam

[West Coast Jungle]

How does HER dog have the right to run freely in YOUR home, yet YOUR dog doesnt?

[MeMe]

Well hon, you're sort of stuck now since you've agreed to pay half the vet bill (which I would not have done). Not because I'm cheap or mean but because when I read her message to you there was not ONE hint she feels in anyway responsible for her dog entering YOUR home unleashed. She's searching the internet? For what, reasons to sue you and Jeff? Maybe she'd better spend her time searching her heart for the definition of the word "friendship".

Tell me this Meme. Have you ever once imposed on your friendship with her by taking Sway to her home and insisting she pen up those little ankle biters of hers while you had coffee?

Look, Meme, my dog Bella isn't dog aggressive at all but if I had a friend with a toy or very small breed I would not allow them to bring it here. Bella is 70 lbs of stupid, happy, goofy Labrador. She's simply too big to not accidentally injure a tiny breed dog trying to play with it. I'd expect anyone calling me their friend to understand that I didn't want to see their dog hurt but I'm not penning up my dog while their's runs loose and drives mine nuts.

See...this is what I am sayin'...I initially felt a moral obligation...but she didn't come to me with it...No, instead she goes surfing the web??? For what??? Ways to sue me??? I know she doesn't have a leg to stand on in a court but think about it...

Would I rather pay the 291.50 and be done with her and it...or let her try to take us to court...possibly have her talk smack about me and my family/pets...have Jeff lose time at work and essentially money for a day off...and my time.

Also...now she has drug a very close friend of ours into it and is trying to basically have her choose. I totally understand the mutual friend not wanting to take sides and seeing both sides...but she is all mad at her now too cause she won't take just her side.

This is just soooo much bs...and I hate it.

I really do not feel like I should have been told to pay anything...if she needed help woth the bill though...why couldn't she talk to me like an adult?

[frankykeno]

Oh so she's running to mutual friends for "support". That smacks of someone is knows she's doing wrong and just wants backup.

In the end, Meme, it's going to be financially cheaper to pay her off but personally I'd never speak to the broad again. Friends don't do this. When my friend brought her dog for the weekend, had a fight broke out suddenly, we would have got them apart and covered our own dog's vet bills. She asked permission to bring Sandy, I granted it - therefore as friends we both knew and took the risks involved. We minimized those risks of course but still, friends do NOT look to screw over friends.

If you pay her off, get that vet bill, do NOT pay her, pay the vet unless she can produce absolute proof she's already paid the entire bill in full. Don't pay her in cash and do make sure you get a receipt or have a way to prove you paid what you paid to who you paid it to. Make her sign something in writing that you are paying not out of any legal obligation to but simply as a friend helping a friend and that your paying half the vet bill does NOT mean you admit any liability now or in the future. I'm sorry but I wouldn't trust this chick at all.

What if she doesn't follow her vet's advice and that dog keels over tomorrow? Doesn't seem like she ran to get it help in the first place. Is she going to come after you guys for a replacement cost on her purebred? Get something in writing Memes to CYA.

[JLC]

...why couldn't she talk to me like an adult?

Sounds to me like she's little more than a juvenile in an adult's body. It's easy to ACT mature when things are going well...but at the first sign of something seriously wrong (or big bucks yanked out of the pocketbook) a lot of people's real character comes out. I'm sorry your friend turned out to be something less than what you thought she was.