Just a FYI for those that knew us

[mechnut450]

I figure I better post as it been a while but with recent events. ( won't get into much details) but for those that remember 4thesnakelady and i met on here. and got married about 11 years ago. June 4thtis year we agreed to a trail separation and with in 2 weeks she decided she wanted a divorce and i have since left Delaware due to memories and the heart break. She had her friends and family to support her and I was forced to go where I didn't want to be, and after I was told to get my pets and personal things, and the place i was staying cats went after the gliders I made a tough decision to leave entirely from Delaware. I was only planning on bringing my pets to a safe place then fall off the planet. My friends here and on the way here kept me going and in the last 2 months I not as depressed but I do miss Her so much it hurts to think about her still I don't know how some people can move on so easy. WE each kept 2 snakes and I got 6 of our 9 gliders. I have not even been able to ask her how the pets are doing or her as she totally ghosted me.
I can understand because I in the first 45 days I left other opinions color my messages to her and I was back and forth between calling a narcissist and crying to come back to her. I love this woman with all my heart and had built my life around her almost totally.

I figuer to let those that might remember us and the BP net party we held years ago should be informed.

[Armiyana]

That is a lot of stress to manage. Moving with animals in an unexpected time frame is so difficult. I'm glad it sounds like you and the critters are in a safe place now.

That said...I mean this in the nicest way. You need help. Please consult a therapist or at least seek the help of friends or family if available.
I know it's only been 3 months, but it's time to really stop and think of what can be done to help you move on. If she does not want to be contacted, making posts about the breakup with info like above can cause more issues if mutual friends begin to question her.
I know I've vented about personal matters here before regarding my health and my animals, but for a relationship... This isn't the best place. Leaving it as 'things have been tough for me, I've separated from my wife' is fine. But there is a lot of resentment directed as well.

I hope you both have time to heal from things.
It took a long while to heal after I had broken from my relationship of 15 years. The little critters are sometimes what help the most so do be sure to give them some extra attention from time to time.

I do hope things continue to improve for you if you let them! I do understand the need to reach out. But do also be careful about how you do.

[Bogertophis]

@ mechnut450- You've been part of this forum for far longer than I- so I only remember you from more recent posts (2018 & on).

I'm sorry for what you're going through- break-ups are the pits, especially if both parties don't feel quite the same way about it. It's even tougher if one side feels the burden of being left out from friends & family that were previously shared. As far as being ghosted when you tried to keep in touch, I don't imagine the separation is easy for her either- & by avoiding contact with you, that's probably her way to not second-guess her decision.

In any relationship, it can feel awesome when it "works" but like hell when it falls apart- it's not uncommon for one party to want to split more than the other does, but all you can do is respect their decision & move on. If you continue to "live in the past", it can prevent you from getting on with your life, & even meeting someone who is a better fit for you, so I agree with Armiyana- it might help to find someone (a professional therapist, if friends & family aren't available to help enough) to talk things over with, rather than keeping them bottled up inside. Staying busy with work, pets & other hobbies can help too- & really, it just takes some time for most of us to really move on when a long-term relationship falls apart. No getting around it- it hurts for a while.

You know, 11 years is a fairly long time that you were married- & most of us grow & change throughout our lives: through no fault of anyone, our interests do change, & things that never bothered us before may now be a problem. It's through our relationships with others that we learn about ourselves & grow. So rather than thinking in terms of blame, because none of us are perfect, try to accept that during the time you had together, you just grew in different directions, & no matter how badly you feel right now, in the long run, the future may hold better things. Keep believing in yourself & the future, & you'll find happiness again.

[nikkubus]

I'm really sorry you are going through that. I'm sure your whole world feels like it's been turned upside down. Eventually it gets easier.

[mechnut450]

thanks guys i not trying to stir up any more issue. I want to reconcile with her, I know i was at fault in most the issues but I still believe her communication ( lack of it) didn't help. but I will let it go i wanted to let people know on here if you seen me or her on ( I doubt she even remembers her log in info. )

[mechnut450]

popping in to see how all doing still taking it rough and even rougher on after I lost my oldest glider in beginning of September.. Still no contact with her and My life has consist of basically , cleaning house the best i can were I staying ( to help cover my room and board) , not able to find employment as It seem that me needing to use a cane or walker most the time turns them off.. It sucks I know how to do many things and even with my increased physical limits in the last year or so it almost impossible to for me to find a job i can do. which sucks cause i still like to build and repair pcs, and I increased my knowledge into 3d printers. The place that putting up with me keep yelling at me to slow down and not push myself so hard each day. not realizing that if i not busy I think about her and get upset and depressed. I am basically doing everything I did when I lived with her ( outside of working (Walmart 7a-2p) 5 days then coming home doing what I can there plus I cook and try to be there to run her anywhere she wanted at her request. but I was leeching and lazy. ) ) I come to realized I been pushing myself too hard and now I am having more issues than before( health ) and such, not sleeping much, badly depressed , lonely, no motivation, and everyone like get on a dating app and find yourself someone.
I am like who wants a depressed almost 50 crippled that probably close to being in a wheel chair that can't work and ( in my book ) not good looking, strong nor has money or his own place. I have a feeling I am only 1-3 falls down the steps to being in a wheel chair or broken to point it be best to shoot me... lol I never wanted to be a burden to anyone and I feel that my wife began to think i was one and being reluctant to see a doc about it the issues. Even if i warned her when we were dating.
I know I have used and abuse my body for 4 decades doing things I knew I should not of and when I started to slow down I just force myself to deal with it and kept going.

Don't get me wrong, I do regret a lot of it now. I can say I was on pain meds for almost a decade when I met my wife. I got off and don't like to take anything these days, even if it feels like I got a red-hot knife in my back and legs just from going to grocery store for a few items. I rather suffer and be in pain,and limited movement ( or falling cause the body wants to give out ) than take something most days.