Stepkids and Pets?

[Dracoluna]

I have two wonderful stepdaughters, Carly who's 12 and Ali who's 10. This past weekend while they were staying with us, Ali asked if she could have a pet. It really didn't surprise me as she's always loved animals and helps me feed and care for everyone while she's here but it got me to thinking. We went out to Petco and I gave her a notebook so she could write down what it would take for different animals and the costs associated with each as I told her that she would have to pay for it and anything that the pet needed (short of vet emergency, etc.). We got to the store and looked around. She went from wanting a corn snake to a fish to a gerbil to a hamster to a ferret and finally decided that the corn snake was the best fit for her. Her reasoning is that she doesn't have to buy a new enclosure because I offered her space in my racks if it was a corn/rat snake or bp, she could play with him/her if she wished but didn't have to spend a ton of time with the snake out if she was busy, and it was easier to keep clean than say a hamster. Overall, I was proud of her decision making since the only 'pets' she's had were the ones her mom brought home and said "here's your new pet so take care of it". Since she's only here once a month, we agreed that I will take care of the snake while she's not here but that she has to call to 'remind me to feed' him/her though of course it will be fed just like any of my other guys. It's been a rough road just getting to see the girls since my husband isn't the biological father (long story...) but now that we do, I feel that it will be a good responsibility lesson for her.

Anyone else had to deal with things like this with stepkids? Any additional ideas or topics I may want to cover with her? We're going to some reptile shows for her to choose out her new baby as I want her to see all the options though it would be cheaper just to give her one of the corns I breed.

I know she won't be here all the time but her mom's idea of a pet is to get one and 6 months later, it tends to mysteriously die, get lost, etc. Here, they know they get to see the same animals every time they come so we've been talking the last year or so about proper pet ownership and care. Just looking for some input on how to handle this from anyone who's been in this situation. I was lucky enough to marry a man with two wonderful girls and I love them as if they were my own (thankfully they love me too and don't have any issues with me being their 'other mom') but there are days I wish there was a 'care sheet' for how to deal with this sort of thing.

[KMG]

I don't have anything for you to add. I just wanted to tell you I loved the way you handled it. I see to many kids today that have no responsibilities or even the concept of it. I worked for everything I every wanted and though I didn't like it at the time I thank my parents for it today. You sound like a great parent.

[BrandiR]

It sounds like you're handling it just like you would if she was your biological daughter (and as a VERY good mother would!), which is exactly what you should do, in my opinion. The only down side to the situation is that she isn't there all the time so you'll have to assume a lot of the responsibility. But really, if you have a 16 year old with a cat, who's going to take care of it when Jr. goes off to college? It's not really much different.