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Welcome to our newest member, Daisyg
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BPnet Veteran
Got this one from my wife, though I'm not sure where she heard it...
Why is giving Christmas Presents like a day at the Office?
Because you do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!
:lol:
We do not quit playing because we grow old; we grow old because we quit playing.
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BPnet Veteran
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BPnet Veteran
LOL That was a good one. :lol: True, too.
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BPnet Veteran
this reminds me, my 90 year old great uncle told me a funny joke last night... it's a little x-rated, so children... don't read.. haha
a pirate walks into a bar, and has a steering wheel in his pants. everybody is staring and pointing and laughing at him. he sits down, orders an Ale. the bartender fixes up his ale, then hands it to him and says "here's your drink sir, but could you please tell me why you have a steering wheel in your pants??"
the pirate then replies, in the most articulate pirate voice ever... "i don't know, but it's driving me nuts!!"
ahahah
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BPnet Veteran
LOL, yeah that was really corny, Wizill. Oh, you know I'm kidding. Loved it... LOL....
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BPnet Veteran
bent scales?
True story:
We were in Trader Joes (a chain of specialty grocery stores) a couple of weeks ago, and I wanted to get some cashews, almonds, and such. When we couldn't find them in the normal place they'd been before, my wife walked up to a male employee and asked, "Where did you move your nuts?"
We do not quit playing because we grow old; we grow old because we quit playing.
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BPnet Veteran
Allright, here's one.
Cupid is hanging out in a park in the city and he sees theses two statues: a naked man and a naked woman. The statues are gazing into each other's eyes and thier hands are reaching towards each other, but just out of touching distance.
Now Cupid feels bad for these statues who seem in love but never get to touch each other so he brings them both to life..........
The man and the woman embrace and then run off into some nearby bushes where alot of commotion and rustling soon begins. They come back out shortly after, hair messed up, and looking quite satisfied.
They assume thier positions and wait to become statues again. To this Cupid tells them that they are free, and will never be a statue made of stone again so if they want another go in the shrubbery, why go ahead. Hearing this wonderful news, the woman turns to the man and exclaims "Fantastic! This time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on it!"
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BPnet Veteran
lol, that's pretty funny.
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BPnet Veteran
a dog, parrot, horse, whore, blonde, redhead, brunette, black man, white man, chinese man, pirate, midget, clown, and a cat all walk into a bar.. the bartender looks around....
and says...
what the hell is this? some sort of joke?
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BPnet Veteran
LMAO Wizill, that made me laugh... hahahahaha LOL... You better be careful that doesn't get you in trouble
Jennifer
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