Vic, my soulmate and the best dog ever...

[zina10]

This year in July I had to have my dog, my best friend, my soulmate put to sleep. He was 10 years old. To me it still feels unreal. Even posting in this folder, it seems strange and wrong.

Vic had many problems. There were a few times when I thought his time had come or would soon come. He had auto immune disease which caused issues with digestion and his joints, had a few tumors cut out but somehow life went on, and boy, he still enjoyed it. With a great diet and good care he still lived life to the fullest. How he loved his squeaky toy !!! It was his baby. He loved nothing more but to go outside with me if I had yardwork to do, so he could get his squeaky and carry it around, watching me, and squeaking it every so often.

His stomach flipped. There was no indication at all until it was to late. He always walked slow and with his back slightly roached. We rushed him to the Vet, once it became clear something was terribly wrong. I laid in the back of the Suburban with him and he was suddenly so calm, we both looked out the window at the night sky. I got hopeful again. By the time we got to the emergency clinic, he couldn't get up anymore, and my heart sank.

The vet said with all his other problems, he wouldn't stand a chance. It would be cruel and he most likely wouldn't even make it until the surgeon arrived, much less make it through surgery. He was fading fast, not even looking up anymore when he was wheeled away to get xrayed.

I knew I had no choice. But still, it kills me to know that "I" gave the final go ahead. They say its the final kindness, but to me it felt like I gave the go ahead to kill him.

I always thought I'd be strong. For my dog. Not cry and carry on, scaring him. I would be strong. But I was not. I broke down completely. It was all I could do to hold his face in the end, I couldn't say a word for literally choking on my tears.
It took the vet several tries to even get a vein, she apologized and kept trying, there was almost no more bloodpressure at this point.

Then I watched his eyes grow dark. It tore me up to leave him there, laying like that. It felt so wrong.

We aren't allowed to bury animals in the yard, I didn't want him cremated either, as I didn't trust to get the "right" ashes. I couldn't think straight that night. I went home and sat in the dark yard all night. I saw his squeaky laying there, and I got so upset I threw it in the trash can. Later on I couldn't bear that, and went to dig it back out of the trash.

Next day I panicked, went back and picked him up after all. He is buried in our yard now. I buried him next to the palm tree, where he liked to lay. I put his squeaky toy with him, his leash and collar.

It still feels raw and wrong. People said to me "you gave him the final kindness", "you did right", "he had a great life". I've said those words to others many times. But I never realized how little they mean at this time. how empty they are.

Rest in peace, Vic. You were my soulmate, my daughters protector and simply, the best dog ever. I sure wish we would have had more time together.

Where he stands in the last 2 pictures is where he is buried.

Thanks for letting me share.

[Zoe]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you've heard it before but time does heal, and you can look forward to a time when you have happy memories instead of despair. In the meantime, grieve as much as you wish, but remember that he had a happy life.

[Bellabob]

My dog passed away recently too, last month, on thanksgiving day. I had her for 10 years, and got her at 2 years old. She died at age 11 because of mamary cancer. Other than that damn cancer, she was a completley happy and healthy dog. I have always hated cancer, but not like I do now. I detest cancer, because it killed my best friend. We got her cremated and we know for sure its her ashes. She now sits on top of our mantle with her name and picture on it. Her name was shadow. She was a black lab pointer mix. And I miss her dearly. I would have gladly given up all of my snakes and never have a snake again if it ment she could live.

She lived a long, healhty, and happy life though. And I'm glad she did.

I'm extremley sorry for your loss, I know how you feel.

[mommanessy247]

wow. such a beautiful shepherd! i personally love that breed and hope to be able to have one someday.
i can relate to your having to have an animal put to sleep. it's the hardest thing to ever have to do, no matter what people say.
cherish your fondest memories of your beloved victor and maybe even picturing him healthy and happy in animal heaven will help you through the pain of losing him.
try not to think of it as "killing him" but rather you doing him a favor.
that's what has gotten me through my own experience, hope it helps you as well.

[PitOnTheProwl]

Dogs are hard to loose, I know from personal life.
We never have them with us for as long as we want.
Most go way before we want to let them go.
I cherish the 3 years I got with my baby girl, those are the times you need to remember.
Enjoy the memories he left you.
Honor him the best you can.

I am not one that believes in anything other than the here and now. (but that is for another area)
Though this seem to help


Now its time for you to go get inked
That was my best "medicine" for some type of closure.

[rabernet]

Wow - Vic was a stunning animal! I'm so sorry for your loss!

[zina10]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you've heard it before but time does heal, and you can look forward to a time when you have happy memories instead of despair. In the meantime, grieve as much as you wish, but remember that he had a happy life.

It has gotten easier, and I have so many fond memories of him. He was quite the character !! Sometimes out of nowhere, though, the pain hits again. Hard to believe I'll never see him again. He has gotten to be such a constant in my life. Thank you !!!

My dog passed away recently too, last month, on thanksgiving day. I had her for 10 years, and got her at 2 years old. She died at age 11 because of mamary cancer. Other than that damn cancer, she was a completley happy and healthy dog. I have always hated cancer, but not like I do now. I detest cancer, because it killed my best friend. We got her cremated and we know for sure its her ashes. She now sits on top of our mantle with her name and picture on it. Her name was shadow. She was a black lab pointer mix. And I miss her dearly. I would have gladly given up all of my snakes and never have a snake again if it ment she could live.

She lived a long, healhty, and happy life though. And I'm glad she did.

I'm extremley sorry for your loss, I know how you feel.

Thank you for the kind words, and I'm so sorry about your girl...
I hate cancer with a passion as well, so many good people and animals lost to it. I understand what you mean about giving things up if only we could have them back. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way

wow. such a beautiful shepherd! i personally love that breed and hope to be able to have one someday.
i can relate to your having to have an animal put to sleep. it's the hardest thing to ever have to do, no matter what people say.
cherish your fondest memories of your beloved victor and maybe even picturing him healthy and happy in animal heaven will help you through the pain of losing him.
try not to think of it as "killing him" but rather you doing him a favor.
that's what has gotten me through my own experience, hope it helps you as well.

German Shepherds really are something else They take their job so serious, yet on the other hand, they can be so silly. What defines them, though, are there loyalty and devotion. They really would go through fire for you.
I really wish I didn't have to make that decision, but I guess its part of keeping our beautiful animals.
Thanks for the kind words !!

Dogs are hard to loose, I know from personal life.
We never have them with us for as long as we want.
Most go way before we want to let them go.
I cherish the 3 years I got with my baby girl, those are the times you need to remember.
Enjoy the memories he left you.
Honor him the best you can.

I am not one that believes in anything other than the here and now. (but that is for another area)
Though this seem to help


Now its time for you to go get inked
That was my best "medicine" for some type of closure.

That is really beautiful, thank you for sharing ! And I'm sorry you lost your girl ! Time never seems to be long enough with them.
I only have on tattoo, a small snake on my arm. But you're giving me ideas ...

Wow - Vic was a stunning animal! I'm so sorry for your loss!

Thank you, appreciate it !!

[PitOnTheProwl]

I only have on tattoo, a small snake on my arm. But you're giving me ideas ...

I am full of "bad" ideas LOL

[SlitherinSisters]

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. He was a gorgeous dog! I wish we could have the dignity of death that our pets have. It's cruel that we have to keep living through our pain and our pets get the privilege of ending their suffering with parents who love them. I know it's an extremely hard decision to make, but it was the right one. I had to put my first dog down when she had water around her heart and would cry when you pet her from the pain, even on daily pain meds. She was a dalmatian I had from age 4 to 17, and no dog could ever replace her.

[zina10]

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. He was a gorgeous dog! I wish we could have the dignity of death that our pets have. It's cruel that we have to keep living through our pain and our pets get the privilege of ending their suffering with parents who love them. I know it's an extremely hard decision to make, but it was the right one. I had to put my first dog down when she had water around her heart and would cry when you pet her from the pain, even on daily pain meds. She was a dalmatian I had from age 4 to 17, and no dog could ever replace her.

Thank you so much. It helps to hear from people that were in the same situation and understand...
So sorry to hear about your dalmatian, too. They really do take part of our hearts with them when they leave.