The Poop Poem

As all of us know who keep even a single animal, we are slaves. We feed, we cuddle, we medicate and socialize and admire and help to reproduce. What we all also do but rarely discuss, is scoop poop. When I am scooping my mind is busy rhyming. This is what comes of years of poop, scooping and rhyming. Mothers, fathers, take note; your child if given proper ... nudges could turn out just like me. How wonderful would a world full of poets writing poop poetry be?
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Ohhhhh I love poop and so should you
I love poop it’s true it’s true
On the grass or in the dirt
There’s even a little on my shirt
I love poop, yes I do, I love poop and so should you

Little tiny mouse turds
Almond sized norwegicus treats
Mounds a druken pony could claim with pride
My dogs make no moves to hide
I love poop, yes I do, I love poop and so should you

Scooping and dumping, hoping always for clumping
Dreading the evil scourge diarrhea
Most who know me say
I wouldn’t wanna be ya
I love poop, yes I do, I love poop and so should you

To them is missing
This most awesome blissing
That is given to those
Willing to risk both tip and root of their toes
For the joys of poop scooping
I love poop, yes I do. I love poop and so should you

One more time kids, everyone join in:

Ohhhhh I love poop and so should you,
I love poop, it’s true it’s true, I love poop and so should you

Cylindrical snake poops and football shaped lizard dung
Like Pavlov’s dog, seeing it I hear a bell has been rung
On go the gloves, out comes the scooper
Endorphins go racing through my mental loop de looper
I do so love being a pooper scooper

The dogs don’t care
The snakes seem veritably unaware
The lizards never varies her stare
As I exit my lair
With, I must admit, a small bit of flair
Only occasionally tripping myself upon the uneven stair
As I must in all candor admit in order to be fair
That I forget sometimes is even there
My excitement palpable I swear
To scoop the poop of my charges, we make quite a pair
Me, their humble man-servant unwilling to share
This poop scooping as necessary to me as is breathing the air
My malady, my love, not really so rare
If in your menagerie lives more than a single lonely hare

Final chours everybody SING!!

Ohhhh I love to scoop poop
It’s true it’s true
I love to scoop poop
And so should YOUUUUUU

Thank you, thankyouverymuch