I need some snake people!!

Well, I talked to my mom last night. She knows I have ball pythons, and she doesn't really care for them (I don't care, I'm not asking her to like them). I mentioned one shed, and she snapped. She said, "you have to get rid of them I can't stand it anymore!!" I simply said no, and tried to explain they are not dangerous. She asked if I had heard about the guy who was mauled by a tiger. WTF! How can you compare my baby ball python to a tiger!!

I explained a dog could do more damage than a snake, and that no one in history has ever been killed by a ball pythong (I hope I was right on that). So, then she brings my dog into the picture. FYI: they put him down on my birthday last year, because he growled and jumped at my sister's new boyfriend. "you know what we did with the last mean dog!"

i am so frusterated right now. How can I explain to her, my baby balls are not going to escape out of their enclosures and murder me in my sleep. I know the risks, and I except them. I'm not asking her to fall in love with them, but she's my mother. I'm 27 yrs old, my own house, and I expect her to at least have a little respect for the animals I choose to keep. I don't worship the devil, and i'm not going to snap one day and start murdering people.

How can I show her, my babies aren't the monsters people make them out to be? I'm not getting rid of them, and if she chooses never to step in my house again, that's fine. I can go and visit her anytime.

Ummmm, at 27 Mommy should NOT be putting your dog down or telling you what to keep in your own house.

Stiffen that spine and stand up for yourself.

I agree with Wes..

You are a grown person..

She should be your mother, but not tell you still what to do.

If she doesn't understand that, make sure she is aware how you feel.

You should not need anyone else to "back you up" on this.

You need to take a stand.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Ummmm, at 27 Mommy should NOT be putting your dog down or telling you what to keep in your own house.

Stiffen that spine and stand up for yourself.

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Yeah, I started yelling. She just said, "that's it. I don't want to talk about it" I would love to give her a piece of my mind, but she's my mom. I can't exactly alienate my mom, because she's afraid of snakes. There has to be a smooth way to get her to understand my point of view.

I kind of know how you feel. My mother knows that I have a ball python and she will not even come into my home because of it. I have tried to explain to her that they are very docile snakes and that they are harmless. My mother just does not like snakes period. This is her choice and if she doesn't want to step foot into my home, then so be it. My mother and I do not really get along to begin with. I wish I could offer you some advice but I really do not know what to say other then that it is your home and your mother should repsect that.

Some mothers will do this kind of thing as a way to attempt to control their adult children whom they can't directly order around anymore. If this is the case, she may or may not consciously realize what she is doing.

It is also entirely possible that she has a genuine (if unfounded) concern for your well-being. Maybe she hears the word "python" and can't get past the mental images it conjures in her mind to internalize what you have told her about them being harmless.

Without knowing whether it is one of these things or who knows what else that is behind her words, it is hard to know how to approach the situation.

One thought I had is that you might try turning the tables on her. You have explained that they are harmless, but she is not taking your word. So ask her to help you understand why she is concerned, and tell her you'd like to see real evidence. You need to be absolutely sincere when you do this. I predict 1 of 3 results. 1) - She'll realize she isn't honestly concerned enough to be bothered to do the research. 2) - She'll do the research, and when she finds nothing, realize her fears are unfounded. 3) - Probably the most likely, she will stick to her beliefs and never do the research, but at least whenever she brings it up, her position is weakened because you have asked her for help in understanding her side, and she has provided you with nothing.

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Originally Posted by stratus_020202

Yeah, I started yelling. She just said, "that's it. I don't want to talk about it" I would love to give her a piece of my mind, but she's my mom. I can't exactly alienate my mom, because she's afraid of snakes. There has to be a smooth way to get her to understand my point of view.

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Protoplasmic Pete, Pelagic Wonderer and Lover of Rubber Boobs says welcome to the Jelly Club, the only prerequisite for acceptance is total lack of spinal chord.

Yay you.

Makes me so happy my mom loved snakes, my friends used to bring gophersnakes etc. over when i was little in potato sacks and say look we're gonna scare david's mom, i tried telling them but they wouldn't listen lol, they'd open it and drop it on her lap and she'd pick it up and talk to it like a little puppy,, awww are they scaring you, you poor little thing, etc... they'd always say, david your mom sucks lol...

but yes i would say grow a spine and say if you dont like it dont come over, or dont go in that room, and putting a dog down cause it growled and jumped up on someone, dogs do that to new people if he just jumped up and not nipped or anythign that's normal dog behavior and she should be repremanded for animal abuse :(

Like Wes said, stiffen up that spine. I know she's your mother but you are 27 and she needs to have some respect for you and what's yours. Personally she seems to have some control issues, I know I can relate my mother is, or rather was a control freak, I had to break her of that.

Simply explain that the snakes are not going anywhere, that she can either lay off or don't come over, it's her choice.

And on a side note, no one would have ever put my dog down because it snapped or jumped on someone.

Time to cut those apron stings

27 years old
Live in your own house

Where's the problem??:confused:

She doesnt pay for your housing does she?

Wow. Was it your dog, living at your house?

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Originally Posted by Beardedragon

She doesn't pay for your housing does she?

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No no. Of course not. I think it's more she lives about an hour from me, and it's hard for her to make sure I'm being careful and safe all the time. I guess all of you are right. I need to make my stand. I just didn't want to turn to a yelling match.

I just wanted something more substantial. Maybe I could let her read some history on them. I just wanted someone to see how ridiculous she was being. Since, everyone in my family says the same thing. I get tired of hearing it, and I just needed to vent. It makes it hard when your entire family thinks you are the idiot for letting a snake in your house.

I will never get rid of them, and I don't care what they say. I just needed to let out a little frustration.

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Originally Posted by PythonWallace

Wow. Was it your dog, living at your house?

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No, it's a long story. It was me and my ex's dog. He got into drugs, quit his job, I ended up in debt, and had to move back in with my parents. I was on a birthday vacation when everything went down. There was nothing I could do. I had nightmares for 3 months.

I think the best thing to do is to keep them, and just flat-out show that you do not care what she thinks about your pets/homelife, but you respect her concern.

I agree with those saying you need to "grow a spine" and "make a stand", although I would not have used those words. However, I also understand your desire not to alienate your mother or let things turn in to a yelling match.

My "turn the tables" suggestion was intended to be a way you could make a stand, without escalating the issue.

You should get an alligator.

I know, my mom is the EXACT same way. She thinks snakes are LITERALLY the devil. No joke.

Every time she hears on the news or reads on the Internet a snake related injury or death, she proceeded to tell me in detail how dangerous they are...LOL.

I don' think there has ever been a case of a ball python severely hurting or killing someone. I think ball pythons are probably the least dangerous pet. :P

I know my mom and I know she will never accept my little hobby. So be it. I don't ask her to accept it either. I explain to her they are not dangerous and I enjoy them, but that makes no difference.

:/ There isn't to much you can do to stubborn people except ignore them. I think the best thing you can do is to just not talk about the snake to her. :/

My mother is just as demanding as yours stratus. I lived with it for most of my life, and I was miserable. I finally just put my foot down. It caused some hurt feelings, but I will never regret it. I have children your age and cannot imagine how much they would laugh in my face if I got in their business. Thank god for that!!!
I know mother's day is Sunday, but after that, you have to just say 'Mom, it's obvious we will always disagree on this, but I appreciate you loving me' and never let her convince you to do something you aren't happy with. EVER! make that your motto.

Explain to her its your house and you will do as you please. You are not going to be harmed, killed, injected with venom or otherwise dismember or mutilated by this most obviously harmless pet.

And as far as mothers and snakes, I showed my collection to my mom when she came over not too long ago and she just reached in the tub and proceeded to pick up my most aggressive/attitude snake I have, so I can't necessarily relate per say.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Ummmm, at 27 Mommy should NOT be putting your dog down or telling you what to keep in your own house.

Stiffen that spine and stand up for yourself.

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I feel your pain. My father thought my Iguana would give us bad luck.

Tell her you are going to get rid of the snakes as soon as...whatever. Just keep putting it off. Every time she brings it up just agree with her.

I do that with my mother-in-law. We can't fight if I always agree. :rolleyes:

I think guys tend to be more sensitive with their mothers. I know my hubby absolutely canNOT say no to his mother. Drives me up the wall sometimes, considering she HATES me!

We went through the same thing with her and my mom. We have a 4 year old and they were concerned that the snakes would bite him or get out of their enclosure and strangle him in his sleep. Our ball's lid locks and on top of that, we have 30 pounds of books (as extra) Jake is in a critter carrier with a locking lid.

I copied some care sheets from around the web, showed them pictures of their set-ups, snakes don't tend to "kill" for fun, usually for food, so I'm not so worried about that.

Try that.

Also, you're 27, I assume living on your own (own house) she shouldn't have any say so in it. If you were living with her, I can understand, but not on your own.

As far as your doggie, I'm sorry he/she was put down. But he/she was prob scared with the NEW person. You can't just walk up to a dog and pet it, it would growl (I know mine goes insane if a stranger walks in the yard) Again, she would have no say so if it lives in your home.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Protoplasmic Pete, Pelagic Wonderer and Lover of Rubber Boobs says welcome to the Jelly Club, the only prerequisite for acceptance is total lack of spinal chord.

Yay you.

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When you are dealing with a parent you should show respect!It is his home and he can keep what he wants in his own house.Those of you telling him to grow a back bone what do you suggest he do body slam his mom?You are going about this in the right way with the exception of the yelling at mom.Just take it slow and easy.She may never get over this you don't know the level of her fear.Take it easy with your Mom.We only get one!
Mike.

U-B-U You're a grown-up and being your self is part of that.

I don't keep my snakes in the "high traffic" family/friends/get together rooms of my home. Plenty of people come over and don't realize that there are 50 or so snakes in my home. I keep 7 adult breeder ball pythons in my master bedroom(in a rack system; yes there is a lamp and framed pictures on top of it; and it doesn't look too out of place). I beleive that most peoples' master bedroom is off limits during get togethers,etc.(with the exception of using the restroom there). Like on MTV cribs: dats where all the magic happens--PRIVATE--. The third/guest bedroom in my house is strictly a snake room.

Sorry to hear about your dog. I'm at a loss for words on that subject.

Parents love us and want the best for us!

I hope you meet a guy that shares your passion for animals! Jason

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Originally Posted by BPMIKE

When you are dealing with a parent you should show respect!It is his home and he can keep what he wants in his own house.Those of you telling him to grow a back bone what do you suggest he do body slam his mom?You are going about this in the right way with the exception of the yelling at mom.Just take it slow and easy.She may never get over this you don't know the level of her fear.Take it easy with your Mom.We only get one!
Mike.

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I disagree with a lot of that. This is a matter of a mom not showing respect for her grown adult daughter.

If that were my dog, I would have flipped out and severed ties with her for a while. Dogs are supposed to bark at new people. I have two dogs, a rott/beagle that only barks at shady people, and an American bull dog that barks at everyone who enters HIS house if he doesn't know them. The rott/beagle has an amazing sense for picking out scum bags, and the bull dog not so much, so he does his job with everyone he doesn't know. Dogs are supposed to be protective of the people who take care of them, as well as their homes. If they didn't bark, I'd consider them defective, and useless for that purpose. To have a dog put down for barking at, or jumping at a new guy who walks into it's house behind your sister is absolutely INSANE.

As far as her concern with snakes, tell her to know what she's talking about before she opens her mouth. I would have gotten the yelling out of the way a LONG time ago, putting my foot down with that sort of nonsense way before it came to the possibility of her thinking it was okay for her to kill your dog. If you don't want to yell, at least write her a serious and long letter. It sounds like you have a lot you could say to her about this and probably a ton of other things she does. You're 27. It's time mom is brought down a peg or two. Even if she was a brilliant woman with infinite wisdom, you are still too old to be putting up with that kind of shadow, but she doesn't sound like a genius, so it's definitely time to back her up 50 paces before drawing a line for her to stay behind. Do you want to be like Principal Skinner your whole life, just so you can avoid ever hurting her feelings, which will heal?

I went through this for a little while with my parents when I got my first snake. I was 24 had my own place and had been that way since I was 18 and in college. However I simply had enough one day after hearing all the reasons I shouldn't keep killer snakes, and politely told them that if they felt the need to tell me what pets I could keep I'd happily have my bills forwarded to their house..At that point they could interject their opinion on my choice of pet as much as they want. However since I am a GROWN ASS MAN who pays his own bills I'll keep what ever pets I wish..

Now my dad and I are business partners and my mom goes digging through the racks when shes over looks for her favorites which are the Mojaves and Bee.

There is no convincing them only coming to acceptance with yourself that your parents aren't always going to approve of your life decisions,and that OK's . It doesn't make you a bad unloving, ungrateful child. It makes you an grown ass individual who no longer needs you parents approval to eat cookie dough at 2am or keep beer in the fridge or rent rated R movies on pay-preview or keep a ball python in YOUR house.

Its not them that has to live with this realization its you and the sooner you do the happier your life will be.

Well, she's coming over on Sat. for a pre-Mother's Day get-together. We'll see what happens. I am going to talk about them, and if someone wants to see them i will get them out. They are upstairs, and if she doesn't want to see them, she can stay in the living room.

I will simply tell her, "I love you, but I love them too. If you can't respect what I want in life, then I'm sorry, but they will be a part of me forever." If she leaves then she leaves. If she chooses to be stubborn and pig headed that's her fault. I know she loves me, and hopefully she can get over it. Maybe over time, she will realize they aren't monsters. I just look at their faces every day and don't see any sign of something threatening.

I'll also tell her if she wants ground to stand on, then find me some proof. Someone put in the hospital, or killed by a ball python.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BPMIKE

When you are dealing with a parent you should show respect!It is his home and he can keep what he wants in his own house.Those of you telling him to grow a back bone what do you suggest he do body slam his mom?You are going about this in the right way with the exception of the yelling at mom.Just take it slow and easy.She may never get over this you don't know the level of her fear.Take it easy with your Mom.We only get one!
Mike.

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Not all of us have advocated yelling at mom. Let's keep our facts based in the realm of actuality not your made up one.

I suspect there is a LOT of stuff behind the scenes that we know nothing of but I can see the apron strings from here. I also think I see the can of teflon no stick in mom's apron, the one she keeps spraying on those apron strings to keep them from being cut asunder. Keep things slippery and the scissors can't bite. Time to break out the Katana.

My mom doesnt care so much that i own snakes, she just hates hearing how money i spend on them, she always says ~ "you used to catch them for free, why do you pay so much for them now?" But im also 27, so she can only offer advice. Just tell your her you love her and happy mothers day! Good luck:gj:

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Originally Posted by stratus_020202

Well, she's coming over on Sat. for a pre-Mother's Day get-together. We'll see what happens. I am going to talk about them, and if someone wants to see them i will get them out. They are upstairs, and if she doesn't want to see them, she can stay in the living room.

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Nope I wouldn't do that to a parent that means your seeking approval. You don't need it! The snakes are there end of story..

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I will simply tell her, "I love you, but I love them too. If you can't respect what I want in life, then I'm sorry, but they will be a part of me forever." If she leaves then she leaves. If she chooses to be stubborn and pig headed that's her fault. I know she loves me, and hopefully she can get over it. Maybe over time, she will realize they aren't monsters. I just look at their faces every day and don't see any sign of something threatening.

I'll also tell her if she wants ground to stand on, then find me some proof. Someone put in the hospital, or killed by a ball python.

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She has no ground to stand on..your not asking her permission are you?

What you do and/or keep in the privacy of your own home is your business. My mother strongly dislikes them too, she says she only appreciates their beauty but nothing else. She detests the fact that they constrict their prey and she compares them to Satan in the garden with Eve (old-minded Southern thinking lol). I try to explain to her that it was not the poor snake's fault that the devil happened to choose that form. Now at my house, my boyfriend's mother refuses to come over sometimes. We tell her that she may indeed see snakes and we aren't going to go rearranging the place just because she "prefers" not to be around them. Some people are just set in their ways; you can't change them, all you can try to do is educate :)

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Originally Posted by DeepSouthSerpents

What you do and/or keep in the privacy of your own home is your business. My mother strongly dislikes them too, she says she only appreciates their beauty but nothing else. She detests the fact that they constrict their prey and she compares them to Satan in the garden with Eve (old-minded Southern thinking lol). I try to explain to her that it was not the poor snake's fault that the devil happened to choose that form.

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My mom tried to pull that to until I politely reminded her that woman was also the tool of the devil to tempt man..So where does that leave them..

And how do we know it wasn't a dimwitted legless lizard or a skink with a grudge pretending to be a snake?

Sounds like a perfect set up to me.

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Originally Posted by Freakie_frog

She has no ground to stand on..your not asking her permission are you?

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No way. I love my babies. I want her to realize she has no ground. I already know she doesn't. It's something I would like for her to realize herself. I would love if she asked me just once, "how are they doing?"

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Originally Posted by wilomn

And how do we know it wasn't a dimwitted legless lizard or a skink with a grudge pretending to be a snake?

Sounds like a perfect set up to me.

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lol. I asked my mom if they were so evil, how did they survive the flood with Noah? and isn't God's whole plan about forgiveness?

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Originally Posted by stratus_020202

No way. I love my babies. I want her to realize she has no ground. I already know she doesn't. It's something I would like for her to realize herself. I would love if she asked me just once, "how are they doing?"

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Your not going to get that by debating her. Your going to get that by not debating her. Just the fact that you wont offer her the opportunity to gain an inch is enough.

You must be strong but supple. In her mind your the one being stubborn. See to her she has all the great reason to not keep them and she'll work just as hard to convince you of her side as you do of yours.

If that chance never comes then neither side has to concede.. She may never except your snakes are you willing to spend your life trying to change her mind or are you willing to except that she doesn't and move on?

lol I had words with my mother over my collection ( yeah I live at hoem but there are reasond behind that ) I pointed out when she says I don't need them when I look at more possible morphs. 1 they don't attack people, scratch, crap, or shed everywere like a cat can do. Plus I pointed out if I breed them I can at least make a profit when I got rid of them unlike a cat ... I also pointedo ut that recently it been me buying the cat food and litter soshe should not complina about my pets.

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Originally Posted by PythonWallace

I disagree with a lot of that. This is a matter of a mom not showing respect for her grown adult daughter.

If that were my dog, I would have flipped out and severed ties with her for a while. Dogs are supposed to bark at new people. I have two dogs, a rott/beagle that only barks at shady people, and an American bull dog that barks at everyone who enters HIS house if he doesn't know them. The rott/beagle has an amazing sense for picking out scum bags, and the bull dog not so much, so he does his job with everyone he doesn't know. Dogs are supposed to be protective of the people who take care of them, as well as their homes. If they didn't bark, I'd consider them defective, and useless for that purpose. To have a dog put down for barking at, or jumping at a new guy who walks into it's house behind your sister is absolutely INSANE.

As far as her concern with snakes, tell her to know what she's talking about before she opens her mouth. I would have gotten the yelling out of the way a LONG time ago, putting my foot down with that sort of nonsense way before it came to the possibility of her thinking it was okay for her to kill your dog. If you don't want to yell, at least write her a serious and long letter. It sounds like you have a lot you could say to her about this and probably a ton of other things she does. You're 27. It's time mom is brought down a peg or two. Even if she was a brilliant woman with infinite wisdom, you are still too old to be putting up with that kind of shadow, but she doesn't sound like a genius, so it's definitely time to back her up 50 paces before drawing a line for her to stay behind. Do you want to be like Principal Skinner your whole life, just so you can avoid ever hurting her feelings, which will heal?

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Im happy im not your mom!
Mike.

My mother is truly frightened of snakes. She's even said that she guessed she'd never be in my home again (she's 7 hours away anyway). Not as a threat, or to guilt me in any way - but because of her genuine fear.

I respect her fear, and I don't really talk much about the snakes.

However, despite her fear of snakes, she allowed me, last year to bring my eggs that were due to hatch the week I was visiting and have them hatch in their (my parents') home - which was a huge step. I wasn't about to miss my first clutch hatching!

She even looked at the babies when they hatched, but there was still a small shudder that went through her.

Just last week she got a sneak peek at my website's template and said "I looked at your site, and even I have to admit, those are some handsome looking snakes".

So, my mother, while she is truly scared of snakes and does not understand why anyone would want to own a snake, is accepting of the fact that I love them and that they are important to me. She knows that they are not dangerous to me, she just can't get past her deep seeded fear to fully embrace them.

This probably does not help you with your problem, but it is a good "Mom" story:
My mother-in-law immediately expressed her disgust with the fact that I bought my then seven year old daughter a BP for her birthday. Six months later we had to leave town for two weeks, and I chuckled as I asked if she would mind checking on "Viper" while we were gone. I expected to hear her say "No way," but to my surprise, she agreed. I was shocked when I returned home two weeks later. Not only did she check on her daily, but she determined she was hungry, defrosted a rat (she had seen me do it before), opened the cage and fed her for us. The old maternal instinct really took over!!! She said that since my daughter loved "Viper" so much, then she accepted it as well, although she claims she will never love it!!! Meanwhile, my father-in-law, the big bury "Man's Man" won't go down the hallway that leads to my daughter's bedroom because of the snake. People are funny.

I come from a long line of opionated women (funny how I'm so quiet and shy and all that :rolleyes:)....anyways, having dealt with this sort of thing before here's a few things from my personal playbook...

Stay calm. Don't debate because there is nothing to debate here. It's a simple fact that you are an adult, you maintain your own home and in that home YOU set the rules. You would not walk into your mother's home and set rules for her, she cannot walk into yours and set rules for you. That's non-negotiable and not up for discussion. Period. End of story.

You can show respect by not expecting your mother to enjoy your snake hobby. You like snakes, she does not. If you expect her to respect your interest, respect her disinterest. In other words, you can talk about snakes with a lot of people, but not mom. You don't need her permission, but you don't need to be seeking her approval either and you are doing that by expecting her to show interest in your snakes.

It doesn't take much to figure out that this didn't start with those snakes and it's likely an issue that touches a lot of your interactions with your mother. Only you can figure out the relationship you will have with her as an adult dealing with another adult. You'll never change her or control her so you can decide how you deal with her and react to her from an adult/adult mindset not mother/child dynamic. It's quite amazing when dealing with difficult family members that once you change your reactions, they come around quite nicely (or they learn fast where the line in the sand is and how it's not smart to push that line - sometimes on some issues you do have to go there when all else fails).

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Originally Posted by stratus_020202

I'll also tell her if she wants ground to stand on, then find me some proof. Someone put in the hospital, or killed by a ball python.

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Originally Posted by Freakie_frog

She has no ground to stand on..your not asking her permission are you?

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I agree with a lot of what Freakie had to say in this thread. On this point, I think there is another side that he may not be seeing.

There is a difference between asking for permission, and asking for acceptance. Just because we all know that Mom accepting the snakes is likely to be slow in coming, if it ever does, doesn't mean Stratus shouldn't let her mom know that she would like that acceptance. The same thing for the fact that whether or not she gets that acceptance, she is going to keep the snakes. It shows that she cares about her mom's feelings, but it doesn't mean that she is willing to let Mom rule her life.

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Originally Posted by Freakie_frog

My mom tried to pull that to until I politely reminded her that woman was also the tool of the devil to tempt man..So where does that leave them..

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:8: Brilliant argument. That right there might make a lot of the old ladies with unfounded, religious hatred of snakes hold their tongues a bit.

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Originally Posted by BPMIKE

Im happy im not your mom!
Mike.

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Me, too, Mike. :) I'm my mom's favorite person. I'm very respectful of my mom, and of her opinions, but she's never pulled any crazy crap like killing my dog for barking at my brother's girlfriend. I don't think I implied that people should yell at their parents or be disrespectful or inconsiderate, but in the OP's case it sounds like there is a lot of built up frustration from years of bowing and tongue holding with an individual that needs to be reminded of everyone's position in life. Basically, the OP deserves as much respect from mom as the mom expects to get.

I disagree with the 'take mom down a peg' line of reasoning. You have to approach it without taking an adversarial stance. You don't need to fight with her about it. You can say that you care about them and you would like her to understand and respect that, but then let it go. If she is afraid or disgusted or just plain thinks its a stupid hobby and a waste of money... well, so what? That's fine. Agree to disagree and don't talk about it anymore. Your relationship with your mom as an adult child is shaped by YOU. Act like a kid-- ie arguing, engaging in power struggles, demanding acceptance, etc-- that's not a grown up relationship. Just state your feelings, state your boundaries and keep them. So if for example, once you've stated your case clearly, she wants to keep arguing about it, you get to say, "Mom, I told you how I felt and I am not going to argue about it." Then change the subject.

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Originally Posted by stratus_020202

I will simply tell her, "I love you, but I love them too. If you can't respect what I want in life, then I'm sorry, but they will be a part of me forever." If she leaves then she leaves. If she chooses to be stubborn and pig headed that's her fault. I know she loves me, and hopefully she can get over it.

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As a mom, I would say that this (quote) is a very mature way of addressing the problem. While we're young, we think our parents are infallible, but as we grow into adulthood, we realize that parents are only human. In this case, you are more sensible and knowledgeable than mom. The next time the snake subject comes up, quietly ask her if she can have an adult conversation with you, and tell her that you love her and you respect her, and you would like that she have the same respect for you and your decisions. Tell her that she is welcome anytime, and you will do your best to keep your snakes away during that time. Chances are, she may not understand. Sometimes moms do the guilt and manipulation drama. I'm not assuming that I know anything about the wonderful woman that brought you into this world, but if the drama starts, you must be the adult, because obviously you are, as I said, the more sensible adult in this particular case, and she will start to see you as such.

This should not be an issue. Your mom seems very controlling and you let her. youre 27. You have your own place. SHE will have to get over it.

And if THAT is the reason your mom killed the dog, her action may be criminal.

I think everyone has given me some awesome advise here, and I thank you all for it. i really appreciate all opinions, young and old. All the experiences thoughout everyones life. I believe the moment will come when we will have to confront our differences, and I will be prepared, for my responses as well as hers. Thank you all so much.

"Put your foot down".

I know this doesnt go for everyone, but if my mom called me at my house to b!7@$ at me about a snake... id say ok bye call back whn you have something important to say.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Derteufel

"Put your foot down".

I know this doesnt go for everyone, but if my mom called me at my house to b!7@$ at me about a snake... id say ok bye call back whn you have something important to say.

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And I know this man. Smart guy, little emotional and self absorbed, but all in all a good guy. The thing is he was stubborn. His way or no way. The guy was sooooo stubborn, that he cut of his nose just to spite his face.

The funny thing is, and he doesn't realize it, all he accomplished was making an idiot of himself.

He thinks the cutting was inspired, from On High, worthy of the praise of his peers, as he once put it; albiet he was a bit in his cups when that statement was made, puked up a lovely clamchowder a bit later in the evening if I recall, but, at any rate, HE thought he had accomplished some great ....thing, by removing that center of attention as well as center of his face, and so he did.

Cut it right off, not a thought of what was to come after. Never a seconds ponderance that his last flower smelled WAS his last flower smelled, not a moments consideration that the alluring scent of a woman was forever gone to him, as was the smell of snow, and rain after a long dusty summer, chicken right off the grill or the smell of his child, fresh from suckling its mothers breast, gone.

To make a point that he could not now recall well enough to repeat.

Yes, surgical removal of unpleasantness is the surest way of avoiding that which you could not otherwise escape.