Vote for BP.Net for the 2013 Forum of the Year! Click here for more info.

» Site Navigation

» Home
 > FAQ

» Online Users: 759

1 members and 758 guests
Most users ever online was 47,180, 07-16-2025 at 05:30 PM.

» Today's Birthdays

None

» Stats

Members: 75,905
Threads: 249,102
Posts: 2,572,091
Top Poster: JLC (31,651)
Welcome to our newest member, Pattyhud
  • 06-20-2008, 05:38 PM
    FIREball
    If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    AND FOR SOME REASON THRES IS A G AT THE END OF PYTHON.....For all of you who loves the Chuck Norris jokes as much as me, I figured I would come up with my own top 10 list....please feel free to add to it...

    1. If you had 5 pieds and Chuck Norris had 5 pieds, Chuck Norris has more Pieds than you.
    2. When Adam Wysocki goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
    3. Chuck Norris doesn’t breed morphs, he stares them down till they reproduce.
    4. Chuck Norris is the reason why Ball Pythons curl into a ball.
    5. Chuck Norris doesn’t feed rodents to his snakes, he holds them hostage until they want to get eaten.
    6. There is no such thing as a “new morph,” only snakes Chuck Norris chooses not to work with.
    7. Chuck Norris doesn’t clean tubs, he roundhouse kicks his snakes until they do it themselves.
    8. When at the Daytona Reptile Expo, Chuck Norris doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them.
    9. Chuck Norris once produced a Lavendar Albino Axanthic Clown Pied Yellowbelly with a 5 of Hearts and a Get out of Jail Free card.
    10. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
  • 06-20-2008, 06:00 PM
    Mindibun
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Pythong breeder...
    My fave is #9 LOL
  • 06-20-2008, 06:18 PM
    stangs13
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Pythong breeder...
    Very nice! Chuck norris facts are awesome!:D
  • 06-20-2008, 06:24 PM
    Peter Williams
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Pythong breeder...
    hahhahahahahahahaha, 9 is the best, but the wysocki one made me laugh too
  • 06-20-2008, 06:59 PM
    Drew87
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    thats pretty good. :gj::gj::D
  • 06-20-2008, 07:15 PM
    monk90222
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    That is the funniest thing I've read on this website! I think I might print it out and frame it!
  • 06-20-2008, 07:48 PM
    jglass38
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Awesome!!
  • 06-20-2008, 08:38 PM
    frankykeno
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    BWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it!
  • 06-20-2008, 11:10 PM
    Bruce Whitehead
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Chuck Norris does not need a second thermostat... the air around Chuck Norris is a balmy 82 degrees.
  • 06-20-2008, 11:28 PM
    4theSNAKElady
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Oh no you didn't.......I LOOOOOVE Chuck Norris "facts"!!!!

    Chuck Norris doesn't get bitten by BPs...they get bitten by him.
    Chuck Norris's males have four hemipenes.
    Chuck Norris said "Let there be BE Lucys" ...and there was.
    NERD got all their ideas from Chuck Norris.
    If you have too many males in your collection, call Chuck Norris over.....he'll roundhouse kick them so hard, they'll turn into females.
  • 06-20-2008, 11:36 PM
    Peter Williams
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Chuck Norris doesn't build racks. He simply walks into the hardware store and all the lumber assembles itself out of shear terror

    Chuck Norris has a large rattlesnake collection. He milks their venom, then procedes to crack an osterich egg into the glass, and drink it for breakfast.

    Ralph Davis used to be the best ball python breeder around, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him into a glacier.
  • 06-21-2008, 12:03 AM
    Crazydude
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    When Chuck Norris walks through a reptile expo, Hes the only man that has balls, Everyone else looses them in fear.

    Pieds are not genetic, Chuck norris just kicked one so hard parts of his pattern came off.

    Chuck norris' snakes dont dare escaping, there too scared to leave the safety of their tub.
  • 06-21-2008, 12:05 AM
    littleindiangirl
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    This is the best thread ever!!! I love Chuck Norris

    "Chuck Norris said "Let there be BE Lucys" ...and there was." :gj: LOL
  • 06-21-2008, 12:09 AM
    SapphireTigress
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    This thread is great!
  • 06-21-2008, 12:41 AM
    munding
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    chuck norris doesnt pop the his male's hemiphenes, they pop themselves for him!!
  • 06-21-2008, 09:02 AM
    FIREball
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Nice additions! Keep them coming.
  • 06-21-2008, 09:02 PM
    Dcommander
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    lol gr8 thread
  • 06-24-2008, 04:01 PM
    cassandra
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Chuck Norris doesn't incubate eggs; he just stares and scares the babies out of their shells.
  • 06-24-2008, 04:10 PM
    stangs13
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Snakes only go blue so they can't see chuck norris.
  • 06-24-2008, 04:20 PM
    Spaniard
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Chuck Norris doesn't hope for good odds; he beats the BP gods into submission with his left hand.

    Chuck Norris doesn't need storms for his balls to get it on. PERIOD.
  • 06-24-2008, 05:11 PM
    frankykeno
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by stangs13 View Post
    Snakes only go blue so they can't see chuck norris.

    Omg that one is the BEST ever! :rofl:
  • 07-03-2008, 09:47 AM
    Pythonian
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Chuck Norris was the original constrictor, pythons got the idea from him.
    Fear factor tried to get chuck norris as a contestant, but when they realized nobody else could ever win if that happened they decided to let him be one of the events.

    if you google "failboat" images you can see some of the places chuck norris has been to.
  • 07-03-2008, 10:37 AM
    kellysballs
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Children's humor is always a little off. A couple years ago we were cleaning tubs and telling Chuck Norris Jokes when my 5 year old (at the time) daughter pipes up with this one.

    "Chuck Norris lost his cow" and laughed until she cried. To this day this is THE Chuck Norris joke in our house.
  • 07-03-2008, 11:01 AM
    littleindiangirl
    Re: If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kellysballs View Post
    Children's humor is always a little off. A couple years ago we were cleaning tubs and telling Chuck Norris Jokes when my 5 year old (at the time) daughter pipes up with this one.

    "Chuck Norris lost his cow" and laughed until she cried. To this day this is THE Chuck Norris joke in our house.

    LOL, that made me snarf! :8:
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v4.2.1