If Chuck Norris was a Ball Python breeder...

AND FOR SOME REASON THRES IS A G AT THE END OF PYTHON.....For all of you who loves the Chuck Norris jokes as much as me, I figured I would come up with my own top 10 list....please feel free to add to it...

1. If you had 5 pieds and Chuck Norris had 5 pieds, Chuck Norris has more Pieds than you.
2. When Adam Wysocki goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
3. Chuck Norris doesn’t breed morphs, he stares them down till they reproduce.
4. Chuck Norris is the reason why Ball Pythons curl into a ball.
5. Chuck Norris doesn’t feed rodents to his snakes, he holds them hostage until they want to get eaten.
6. There is no such thing as a “new morph,” only snakes Chuck Norris chooses not to work with.
7. Chuck Norris doesn’t clean tubs, he roundhouse kicks his snakes until they do it themselves.
8. When at the Daytona Reptile Expo, Chuck Norris doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them.
9. Chuck Norris once produced a Lavendar Albino Axanthic Clown Pied Yellowbelly with a 5 of Hearts and a Get out of Jail Free card.
10. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

My fave is #9 LOL

Very nice! Chuck norris facts are awesome!:D

hahhahahahahahahaha, 9 is the best, but the wysocki one made me laugh too

thats pretty good. :gj::gj::D

That is the funniest thing I've read on this website! I think I might print it out and frame it!

Awesome!!

BWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it!

Chuck Norris does not need a second thermostat... the air around Chuck Norris is a balmy 82 degrees.

Oh no you didn't.......I LOOOOOVE Chuck Norris "facts"!!!!

Chuck Norris doesn't get bitten by BPs...they get bitten by him.
Chuck Norris's males have four hemipenes.
Chuck Norris said "Let there be BE Lucys" ...and there was.
NERD got all their ideas from Chuck Norris.
If you have too many males in your collection, call Chuck Norris over.....he'll roundhouse kick them so hard, they'll turn into females.

Chuck Norris doesn't build racks. He simply walks into the hardware store and all the lumber assembles itself out of shear terror

Chuck Norris has a large rattlesnake collection. He milks their venom, then procedes to crack an osterich egg into the glass, and drink it for breakfast.

Ralph Davis used to be the best ball python breeder around, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him into a glacier.

When Chuck Norris walks through a reptile expo, Hes the only man that has balls, Everyone else looses them in fear.

Pieds are not genetic, Chuck norris just kicked one so hard parts of his pattern came off.

Chuck norris' snakes dont dare escaping, there too scared to leave the safety of their tub.

This is the best thread ever!!! I love Chuck Norris

"Chuck Norris said "Let there be BE Lucys" ...and there was." :gj: LOL

This thread is great!

chuck norris doesnt pop the his male's hemiphenes, they pop themselves for him!!

Nice additions! Keep them coming.

lol gr8 thread

Chuck Norris doesn't incubate eggs; he just stares and scares the babies out of their shells.

Snakes only go blue so they can't see chuck norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't hope for good odds; he beats the BP gods into submission with his left hand.

Chuck Norris doesn't need storms for his balls to get it on. PERIOD.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stangs13

Snakes only go blue so they can't see chuck norris.

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Omg that one is the BEST ever! :rofl:

Chuck Norris was the original constrictor, pythons got the idea from him.
Fear factor tried to get chuck norris as a contestant, but when they realized nobody else could ever win if that happened they decided to let him be one of the events.

if you google "failboat" images you can see some of the places chuck norris has been to.

Children's humor is always a little off. A couple years ago we were cleaning tubs and telling Chuck Norris Jokes when my 5 year old (at the time) daughter pipes up with this one.

"Chuck Norris lost his cow" and laughed until she cried. To this day this is THE Chuck Norris joke in our house.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kellysballs

Children's humor is always a little off. A couple years ago we were cleaning tubs and telling Chuck Norris Jokes when my 5 year old (at the time) daughter pipes up with this one.

"Chuck Norris lost his cow" and laughed until she cried. To this day this is THE Chuck Norris joke in our house.

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LOL, that made me snarf! :8: