A little bothered.

One thing i hate about this site is that a lot of people never give ANYONE the benefit of the doubt. Some people just can't wait to blame or point the finger at anything that could be even remotely wrong, even when there might be a perfectly good, likely explanation for it. i've only been on this site for a couple months now, and the first few weeks i was very intimidated by how/what people said to me and to other new people. I was scared to even ask a question because of the reactions i thought i was going to get. but, maybe i'm just sensitive. i don't know. if i am, sorry for wasting your time. By no means am i saying that there aren't certain situations where something HAS been done wrong or a mistake made; but, just as often there are times when the problem could be attributed to something else. If it IS one of those situations where it's an obvious error, i also think that it's unnecessary to respond to the person as if they've done it on purpose or don't care. if they are here asking questions, they obviously care, and i wish more people would respond positively with support and encouragement. I WOULD like to say thank you to the few of you that actually were encouraging in their responses to my first posts; it has not gone forgotten. overall, however, i've just been a little let down to see so many people be so quick to think the worst of other people.

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Originally Posted by azak323

One thing i hate about this site is that a lot of people never give ANYONE the benefit of the doubt. Some people just can't wait to blame or point the finger at anything that could be even remotely wrong, even when there might be a perfectly good, likely explanation for it. i've only been on this site for a couple months now, and the first few weeks i was very intimidated by how/what people said to me and to other new people. I was scared to even ask a question because of the reactions i thought i was going to get. but, maybe i'm just sensitive. i don't know. if i am, sorry for wasting your time. By no means am i saying that there aren't certain situations where something HAS been done wrong or a mistake made; but, just as often there are times when the problem could be attributed to something else. If it IS one of those situations where it's an obvious error, i also think that it's unnecessary to respond to the person as if they've done it on purpose or don't care. if they are here asking questions, they obviously care, and i wish more people would respond positively with support and encouragement. I WOULD like to say thank you to the few of you that actually were encouraging in their responses to my first posts; it has not gone forgotten. overall, however, i've just been a little let down to see so many people be so quick to think the worst of other people.

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Stick around a few more years and you'll see whay people are jaded at times.
Too many people have been given the benefit of the doubt in the past only to find out they didn't deserve it.
There are certain signs in some posts that give off red flags. People pick up on it.

It has been discussed on previous threads how some people come down too hard on new people that may make some mistakes in husbandry or display a lack of knowledge. I agree that some people could take a better approach in adressing new or inexperienced people. One of the stated purposes of this site is to welcome people new to the hobby and to offer a friendly place to gain knowledge of the care of reptiles. We should all try to adhere to that goal.

Very true. Sometimes, I admit, people are a little hard on newbies in certain posts, and that's not great... but overall there are reasons for the harshness.

Personally, I'm really sorry that you've felt that you'd get and that you felt bashed by folks on this site. Having been hanging around b-p.net for a couple of years and spending time on other reptile forums, I feel experienced enough to say that I personally think b-p.net is one of the better if not the best at being friendly and helpful; I know it is something that many of us regulars certainly strive for.

But I'm sure many of the regulars here will agree with me that we as a community, unfortunately, aren't perfect and it is hard sometimes to answer what seems like "the same question" "yet again". It's a bad attitude and it sometimes get the better of us.

Your post is a good reminder to us all to be nice and stretch out to all new folks to this site so that we can set this place apart as the nice place with good information.

Please give us a second chance and I think I can speak for the rest of the community here to say we are truly sorry if you felt abused and unwelcome. That is so not the intention here. =)

- Just a snakey lover

This forum is nothing compared to most forums. I have found people to actually be very responsive to discussions and open thinking here. A lot of other forums have one accepted opinion and that's it, no room for gray areas.

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Originally Posted by dsirkle

It has been discussed on previous threads how some people come down too hard on new people that may make some mistakes in husbandry or display a lack of knowledge. I agree that some people could take a better approach in adressing new or inexperienced people. One of the stated purposes of this site is to welcome people new to the hobby and to offer a friendly place to gain knowledge of the care of reptiles. We should all try to adhere to that goal.

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At the same time people have come down hard on those who were not really here for information.
The only ones I have seen get spoken to harshly are the ones that ignored good advice and continued the same way they were going and posted additional questions relating to the problem or people that were "feeling" out the site acting like newbies.
I can't recall an actual post for help where the person was bashed. There usually are circumstances that led up to the reaction the got.

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Originally Posted by icygirl

This forum is nothing compared to most forums. I have found people to actually be very responsive to discussions and open thinking here. A lot of other forums have one accepted opinion and that's it, no room for gray areas.

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You nailed it. This is one of the most polite forums out there.
There are some that if you mention say......feeding live.....oh boy... look out.:D

Dont like it leave! :tears:

I think sometimes a response might seem harsh, when it's just imperitive to the poster that something be corrected Right Away for the animal's safety.
A post of "I dunno why my snake isn't eating when I got the heat at 105F!!!!" get a immediately reply of "TURN THE HEAT OFF NOW!!!" which might seem harsh. It's really only severe concern. That was just an obvious example, but I've seen some replys that might be seen sort of like that.
It might also get harsh when a poster argues that it can't be his bad husbandry, it must just be the animal being stubborn, or some other excuse.
Mostly I think the responses are pretty good, considering the rest of the internet sites. There is always room for improvement, but this is a great and mostly polite site, IMHO.

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Originally Posted by SPJ

At the same time people have come down hard on those who were not really here for information.
The only ones I have seen get spoken to harshly are the ones that ignored good advice and continued the same way they were going and posted additional questions relating to the problem or people that were "feeling" out the site acting like newbies.
I can't recall an actual post for help where the person was bashed. There usually are circumstances that led up to the reaction the got.

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You hit the nail on the head! That is where the experienced folks on here get frustrated is when their advise is not taken and folks continue to complain and ask more questions about the same situation.

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Originally Posted by SPJ

At the same time people have come down hard on those who were not really here for information.
The only ones I have seen get spoken to harshly are the ones that ignored good advice and continued the same way they were going and posted additional questions relating to the problem or people that were "feeling" out the site acting like newbies.
I can't recall an actual post for help where the person was bashed. There usually are circumstances that led up to the reaction the got.

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That has happened, true enough. But I have also seen people that buy a snake without doing any research into how to care for it get blasted pretty hard and either run off or close to it when offering them friendly advice would be a better way for all concerned especially for the snake.

Very true. I have left forums like that for that very reason. This place is rather nice, even with those people who get a little too frustrated or upset.

It's true that certain questions get asked over and over, and make one wonder why new people don't think to use the search function, but folks should try and recall what it felt like when they were newbies. :D Then they might understand a bit better.

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Originally Posted by SPJ

You nailed it. This is one of the most polite forums out there.

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Also, just to clear the air, i think i misspoke when i said "one thing i hate about this site...". Compared to many other forums i've tried, this one definitely is at the top of the bunch. Perhaps I should have said, "One small thing I hate...".

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Originally Posted by SPJ

Stick around a few more years and you'll see whay people are jaded at times.
Too many people have been given the benefit of the doubt in the past only to find out they didn't deserve it.
There are certain signs in some posts that give off red flags. People pick up on it.

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That is a really good point of view that I didn't consider before I posted; thanks for bringing that up. Thinking about it, it's all really understandable.

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Originally Posted by cassandra

But I'm sure many of the regulars here will agree with me that we as a community, unfortunately, aren't perfect and it is hard sometimes to answer what seems like "the same question" "yet again". It's a bad attitude and it sometimes get the better of us.

...Please give us a second chance and I think I can speak for the rest of the community here to say we are truly sorry if you felt abused and unwelcome. That is so not the intention here.=)

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Another good point that i humbly understand now. Thanks for saying that! And I hadn't given up on y'all in the first place! No need for second chances :)

I really didn't expect to get this many positive responses! A lot of my doubts are gone now. I apologize if I offended or hurt anyone; there was one thread i happened to read before posting that really got me thinking about all this, and I decided to write it down. Someone got accused of being a scammer just because he didn't respond to the thread right away, along with some other issues. I thought that was an overzealous assumption. But, there could be a good reason for someone thinking that as well i suppose.

I kinda felt the same way at first. However, it's the internet which makes emoting nearly impossible (the little smilies and stuff are kind of a good idea though) but if you listen to what the more experienced keepers have to say you can pick up A LOT of good information here. Sometimes you can pick up poor information or someone may come down a little hard but you have to take it all in stride. This is a great place and I'm no newbie to keeping reptiles. I hope you stick around. This place is the best hands down!

He was there, you could see his outline in the moonlight and fog. Black leather jacket, riding leathers and boots; same as always, leaning against the lampost by the oak tree, same as most nights.

No one messed with this guy, no one sane anyway. He was smart and fast and had the stamina of 10 men. When he got through with people they weren't fit to be dogfood, he thrashed em that bad.

Not much of a mixer him, tends to hang out with himself. You see him, hear his opinion expressed and then he's gone again. No one quite knew where. They were certain he'd be back though. They never doubted his return.

Guys like him, they always came back. They had to, there was no choice. It was ingrained in their makeup, like the hair blowing in the wind they way his eyes drank up the light from the lamp post, swimming in briteness but black as night at the same time.

Some of us had seen him taking on 3 or 4 or even more people at one time and he never lost. The guy was a legend. He was known before he arrived, that well travelled was his reputation.

Even THAT guy, the one above, behaves as best he can here.

For those of you who don't know him, and I'm not saying I do, I just write adequate discriptive paragrapghs, that is quite an accomplishment.

His usual method is to grab the offending party and smash it against things until it has learned a lesson. You should see it in action, it's really quite impressive.

If HE can, surely you can too.

Oh yah i'm definitely staying. I really have learned a LOT since i came here, honestly. :)

its like that every where....tuff'in up!

If you say so; I guess any place where a bunch of different types of people hang out there are bound to be some conflicts. :oops:

Alex, I think SPJ and Cass pretty much summed it up for me. You got weigh the things you like and dislike, and when you do that, I'm sure in the end it turns out alright.....:) You just have to take into consideration what the bottom line of this site is: the concern for our scaly buddies....:) So, just relax,and you'll eventually "learn" everybody. It may take a little time, but the gains from this forum are just worth at least just that;). Who knows what your future holds...stick around, you may just make some great friends...I know I sure did.:D

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Originally Posted by wilomn

He was there, you could see his outline in the moonlight and fog. Black leather jacket, riding leathers and boots; same as always, leaning against the lampost by the oak tree, same as most nights.

No one messed with this guy, no one sane anyway. He was smart and fast and had the stamina of 10 men. When he got through with people they weren't fit to be dogfood, he thrashed em that bad.

Not much of a mixer him, tends to hang out with himself. You see him, hear his opinion expressed and then he's gone again. No one quite knew where. They were certain he'd be back though. They never doubted his return.

Guys like him, they always came back. They had to, there was no choice. It was ingrained in their makeup, like the hair blowing in the wind they way his eyes drank up the light from the lamp post, swimming in briteness but black as night at the same time.

Some of us had seen him taking on 3 or 4 or even more people at one time and he never lost. The guy was a legend. He was known before he arrived, that well travelled was his reputation.

Even THAT guy, the one above, behaves as best he can here.

For those of you who don't know him, and I'm not saying I do, I just write adequate discriptive paragrapghs, that is quite an accomplishment.

His usual method is to grab the offending party and smash it against things until it has learned a lesson. You should see it in action, it's really quite impressive.

If HE can, surely you can too.

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Ummm....check please! :8::8::8::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

you funny missa you so funny!