At what point do you really feel that you can trust a person?

The title says it all...

At what point do you REALLY feel like you can trust a person? What is the magic thing that makes you feel comfortable with someone?

I can;t really comment all too much. It takes alot for me to trust anyone...

in what respect?? Like business, personal ?

Hmmm, depends on business or personal and the level of trust. I can say it is not a set amount of time, I may trust a person the second I meet them (Very very rare, but sometimes you just connect) and others it may take years to trust them fully. I don't open up easily to most anyone. In fact, I think the only people I fully trust in this world are my daughter, my bf and my best friend. Guess that happens when you get burned young.

LOL, it took a lot of getting burned for me to become completely skeptical of everyone I meet. Most people I distrust when I first meet them. My Bull**** meter has been sharpened to the point where I know if I can trust someone superficially after a few meetings.

But for me to put everything on the line, I trust them when I feel like I understand their thought processes, and can pretty much predict what they will do next. I guess when we know eachother at that level is when I trust them completely and unconditionally.

The question was meant to be general.

Either business or personal, it really depends on what you would like to share.

The reason I ask was because I was thinking about it recently along the lines of the TSE issues that I have been heavily involved with, and now how people will not be as trusting anymore.

BUT! For the sake of being general, please answer however you feel fit.

It really depends, I think. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but also trust my instincts. That combination leaves a lot of wriggle room depending on the person and the situation.

There isn't a point, as a rule, for me. Most of the time I get a feel for someone and go with that as far as business and superficial personal things.

Some folks I won't talk with about the number of snakes I have or about my family, but I'd do business with them. Some I get a feel for and just avoid period. Rarely does someone get the "all clear" from the getgo and even then it's only "all clear" to a certain point.

There are many levels of trust.

honestly, you can never really trust anybody.

trust me i know...:colbert:

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

At what point do you REALLY feel like you can trust a person? What is the magic thing that makes you feel comfortable with someone?

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When you have pictures of them.. naked.

I don't trust easily. If someone "smells right" then I'm more liable to trust them.
But in reality, I rarely trust anyone at all. Probably fewer than five people exist that I really trust.

I used to trust people so easily but i've had my share of downfalls with people and now i'm more weary and the only people i trust are the ones i've known for over 10 years. My dad always says to me that there are no real friends, i don't know how far i'd go with that i feel like i have some good friends but ya never know...

he got screwed over one time in his business with a man that he hired and he was in the company for over 6 years and one year he decided to steal a couple million from my dad's accounts (he had access, stupid move by my dad) and needless to say some things make people do crazy things

LOL Mike, sadly I can think of a few people who would enjoy that :weirdface
As for issues like TKE and others, I am very wary now. Someone I thought was ok turned out not to be. While I was lucky and no mites or parasites, I do not want to risk issues like that or any other issues. I think at this point, I will have to trust the person I buy from ALOT. They better have a sterling rep or they won't get my money. No, that doesn't mean they have to be a long time breeder, but being active in sites like this doesn't hurt. There are some people on this site I would buy from, even hets, and they have only produced one clutch. It's all about how they carry themselves.

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

The question was meant to be general.

Either business or personal, it really depends on what you would like to share.

The reason I ask was because I was thinking about it recently along the lines of the TSE issues that I have been heavily involved with, and now how people will not be as trusting anymore.

BUT! For the sake of being general, please answer however you feel fit.

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Sorry to hear about your experience with TSE! :(

Even before he was exposed, my bs meter was ringing - no pictures of babies for sale (I like to "hand pick" my babies, even if it's just with pictures) and no pictures of his adult breeders. He never passed the smell test for me.

I am pretty trusting by nature, still am - but my "intuition" has been pretty good most of my life about people. Lucky? Maybe!

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

The title says it all...

At what point do you REALLY feel like you can trust a person? What is the magic thing that makes you feel comfortable with someone?

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I trust people that are Straight forward. Not affraid to say something, Offend someone, Kick someone in the nuts etc. I hate the cowardly type that hide from the Truth..

I don't trust anyone. In business and life... I guess if I have to deal with someone I have to talk through the phone... and in life forget about me telling anyone anything personal.
:(

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Originally Posted by JASBALLS

I trust people that are Straight forward. Not affraid to say something, Offend someone, Kick someone in the nuts etc. I hate the cowardly type that hide from the Truth..

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I just got a good laugh. You say "I hate..." then your signature says "I love everyone." OK, I know, it must be sarcasm in your sig, but still... :rofl:

But to answer the OP, it does all depend on so many factors. I think the biggest factor of trusting someone to hold my secrets, feelings, ideas, etc. in a high enough regard - respectfully and fairly, I need to see them taking steps of self-disclosure as well. Trust is a two-way street.

If you "click" and the "smell test" are two additional ways to know, too. And then again, there's the try, try again method and you live you learn....

Good question, thanks for raising it.

I trust all people until they give me a reason not to trust them :D

however...

I only trust one person with my life :whisper:

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Originally Posted by JASBALLS

I trust people that are Straight forward. Not affraid to say something, Offend someone, Kick someone in the nuts etc. I hate the cowardly type that hide from the Truth..

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well Jas...you can trust me!

I have NO problem at all telling someone what I think.

and I certainly have NO problems kicking a guy in the nuts.

:groinkick

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Originally Posted by jeffnme

well Jas...you can trust me!

I have NO problem at all telling someone what I think.

and I certainly have NO problems kicking a guy in the nuts.

:groinkick

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I forgot to answer the question...

No...I can't and probably never will FULLY trust anyone.

why???

because it just sucks too hard when you get burned.


:oops:

I really fully trust no one except my sister and myself :)
I have just been let down by to many people in the past to even really go there w/ anyone.
I have levels of trust w/ some people but full trust..ahh no.

And I really trust no one who begins a sentence w/ " trust me..."

I have learned in life the only person who you can trust and always count on no matter what is yourself. Follow that rule and everything else is a piece of cake.:banana:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

The question was meant to be general.

Either business or personal, it really depends on what you would like to share.

The reason I ask was because I was thinking about it recently along the lines of the TSE issues that I have been heavily involved with, and now how people will not be as trusting anymore.

BUT! For the sake of being general, please answer however you feel fit.

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OK... I have no clue what the TSE issue was... :oops: But it sounds important!?!?!? Can someone catch me up to speed?
As for trusting people, I hold a certain amount of skepticism towards everyone... what makes me comfortable with someone is when they are also cautious. As mentioned, the small check is a good tool! Cue smelled like toasted marshmallows and butter fly wings when we met... We've been tight pals ever since!

I hate to admit it, but Greg House (fictitious character in the TV shoW House M.D.), says it best.

"everybody lies"

Whether they do it intentionally or not, you can never expect the full truth from anyone. However at the same time, you gotta have a little faith in people or your gonna either die a lonely pessimistic person, or go on a rage against humanity and try to take us all out in some evil maniacal scheme. Hopefully neither of these is the case and you can manage taking risks on people you feel are worth it! ;)

House= Best show EVER!

Edit from last post.... I meant the SMELL check. :oops:

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Originally Posted by Gooseman

"everybody lies"

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well said and soooo true!

:sweeet:

ROFL Laura, I gotta implement the smell check...

***sniffs roomate***

smells like 3 day old BO, cheap cigars, and old spice. Can I trust him?

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Originally Posted by Gooseman

ROFL Laura, I gotta implement the smell check...

***sniffs roomate***

smells like 3 day old BO, cheap cigars, and old spice. Can I trust him?

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With out a DOUBT! Anyone that wears Old Spice is a good guy in my book! :D

Hey! Don't diss evil maniacal schemes.
It keeps me busy.

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Originally Posted by Laooda

OK... I have no clue what the TSE issue was... :oops: But it sounds important!?!?!? Can someone catch me up to speed?

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Here you go - http://www.faunaclassifieds.com/foru...ad.php?t=78572

It's only about 2900 posts - have fun! :D

I think there are different levels of trust and those levels may change as our experience with those people evolve and change. As far as business goes you try to make the best decisions you can but risk is always a factor.

Of course when you have done business successfully with someone over and over the level of trust increases. One of the best snakes in my collection I recieved sight unseen because I have done so many deals with the person when he said it's a smoker and i trusted him. That took 9 or 10 sucessful transactions for me to feel that way.

I never give unescessary trust to anyone. You never know who is going through a difficult time (drugs, gambling, debt) and dangling a carrot in front of them can be too tempting. Even friends:(. For example if you are throwing a party don't leave cash, valubles and jewerly lying around, it's not responsible and you are asking for trouble. i have heard the "It was only people I knew" line.

I strongly believe in vibes, impressions or instincts and I like to look someone right in the eye when I ask an important question. Eye contact and body language tell alot. Online we don't get that so referrals and reps are huge.

I do take risks sometimes but ONLY if I can afford to loose if it doesn't work out. In other words don't take risks with the rent or food $ for example.

Trust has many levels to me, it all depends who and what is at stake.

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Originally Posted by rabernet

Here you go - http://www.faunaclassifieds.com/foru...ad.php?t=78572

It's only about 2900 posts - have fun! :D

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UGH! K, glanced at it.... :rolleye2: Thanks for the link Robin! :)

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Originally Posted by West Coast Jungle

I think there are different levels of trust and those levels may change as our experience with those people evolve and change. As far as business goes you try to make the best decisions you can but risk is always a factor.

Of course when you have done business successfully with someone over and over the level of trust increases. One of the best snakes in my collection I recieved sight unseen because I have done so many deals with the person when he said it's a smoker and i trusted him. That took 9 or 10 sucessful transactions for me to feel that way.

I never give unescessary trust to anyone. You never know who is going through a difficult time (drugs, gambling, debt) and dangling a carrot in front of them can be too tempting. Even friends:(. For example if you are throwing a party don't leave cash, valubles and jewerly lying around, it's not responsible and you are asking for trouble. i have heard the "It was only people I knew" line.

I strongly believe in vibes, impressions or instincts and I like to look someone right in the eye when I ask an important question. Eye contact and body language tell alot. Online we don't get that so referrals and reps are huge.

I do take risks sometimes but ONLY if I can afford to loose if it doesn't work out. In other words don't take risks with the rent or food $ for example.

Trust has many levels to me, it all depends who and what is at stake.

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Very well said and good nuggets of wisdom :gj:

So, I've heard about that TSE thing and I don't want to hijack this thread, but what happened. I tried reading it, and I got to page 60 >.<
... then I saw there are around 600 pages. Yikes. Anyone care to PM me and catch me up or ...start a new thread? I don't need all the details, just a quick run through. that's alot of freakin pages with only 6 or so posts per page....

honestly, i dont really trust anyone. i can be trusting to them and then i end up getting burned and it just sucks. the only people i can trust are the friends i've had since elementary school and junior high.

i have a female friend where she's been burned a lot by her "friends" so she doesnt really trust anyone anymore. i've done things for her to show that she can trust me and she said she kinda trusts me but not completely. but i can understand what she's been going through so it'll take time before she fully trusts me.

I'd say that superficially I'll trust just about any woman (at least physically), but never a man. Right from the getgo I'll give women a chance and men had better prove they aren't creepy stalkers before I trust them. That said, I'll say about anything to anyone without feeling strange (unless it is inappropriate in that situation). I am very outgoing and trust and love easily once I know I won't get physically harmed. Beyond that, very complex......

i only trust someone after they have had the chance to screw me over big time and dont. then you to me are trustworthy.

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Originally Posted by MATT FISHER REPTILES

i only trust someone after they have had the chance to screw me over big time and dont. then you to me are trustworthy.

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Interesting way of putting it. I like it.

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Originally Posted by littleindiangirl

So, I've heard about that TSE thing and I don't want to hijack this thread, but what happened. I tried reading it, and I got to page 60 >.<
... then I saw there are around 600 pages. Yikes. Anyone care to PM me and catch me up or ...start a new thread? I don't need all the details, just a quick run through. that's alot of freakin pages with only 6 or so posts per page....

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I have no idea either, so if there is a PM, can you forward it to me? Or someone plz start a thread to summarize (w/out ending up with 2900 posts!). Thanks!

Um... nevermind. I glanced at the TSE thread (thanks for the link). Wow. I see it would be IMPOSSIBLE to summarize!

I have my close family and friends that I trust. Now, there are some things that I do not trust each person with for various reasons, and no one besides my husband that I would literally trust with anything/any info about myself. Like, I won't discuss religion with my mom and some other family members; we disagree too much and it is a waste of time on both sides. And even my best friend, there are lines I draw regarding trust as well.
There were times that I could actually not trust my self.. times that I did bad things that put me in danger. So I do not think that oneself can always be trusted more than another person!
In business and selling things: I never, ever front anything to anyone. They pay me first or it is a no-go. Had a guy years back who wanted to buy an item from me that had to be shipped. He made a small payment and then wanted me to ship the item. Nope. Turns out, he had some excuse about not being able to afford the rest of the item's cost anyway; I would have been out the item and the $$.

well here's something i can add to this thread.....

last night i got betrayed by a guy friend that i've known for 10 years. i thought i could tell him secrets since i've known him for a long time. turns out he used me to get "info" from me so he could tell them this one girl he likes(and i obviously dont).

it just shows that even your closest friends will betray you and cant be trusted.