Rant: Annoying parents!!

Yesterday I took the family to visit the Steinhart Aquarium Annex. They're building a new aquarium in Golden Gate Park that looks AMAZING , but it won't be ready until late 2008 so they put up a small annex with a decent animal collection downtown until construction of the main facility is finished.

Anyway, while we were viewing the snakes in the "snake tunnel" I noticed this little boy tapping the Emmy cage with his gatorade bottle. Eventually the tapping got harder and harder until he was literally pounding on the glass cage. Apparently the Emmies weren't dancing fast enough for him. :confused: Of course I rushed over there and told the child to please not tap the glass, but his parents were right next to him and didn't bat an eye. Ugh! I wish they would pass a law legalizing the smacking of clueless people upside the head. :fishslap: :angered:

Here's a pic that I found that actually shows the Emmy cage in the background.

They had a relatively small snake collection at the annex... about 8 exhibits, but they were very well done. The snakes had plenty of places to hide, but they were still viewable to the public.

well back in the day people could straighten their kids out...i know...

now days...kids have child protective services on speed dial of the cell phone their parents are paying for........ :confuzd:

Urgh; ignorant parents are a peve of mine as well. I was shocked when I used to work at a grocery store, what parents will let their kids do in public. Opening packages of foods, eating some and tossing the rest on the floor.. etc. I am not a fan of conservative parents who don't even let their kids choose things like what to wear, tec. But on the other bad end of the spectrum are those that just don't care.. sad.

and the parents that dont care seem to be the most fertile people on the planet, having as many as five or six kids.. go figure!

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Originally Posted by Ginevive

Urgh; ignorant parents are a peve of mine as well. I was shocked when I used to work at a grocery store, what parents will let their kids do in public. Opening packages of foods, eating some and tossing the rest on the floor.. etc.

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The sad part is that many parents behave the same way, too. I've seen many parents open up food and "sample" it which pretty much teaches their kids that it's okay behavior. :mad:

i want to go there when it's finished... looks like an amazing display!!!

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Originally Posted by nathanledet

well back in the day people could straighten their kids out...i know...

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Yeah like when I was a kid...........ouch I feel old now :O.

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Originally Posted by GA_Ball_Pythons

Yeah like when I was a kid...........ouch I feel old now :O.

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Yeah, a swat on the butt and then terse words in my ear when we were in public. Pretty much quit whatever you were doing...

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Originally Posted by Ginevive

I am not a fan of conservative parents who don't even let their kids choose things like what to wear, tec. But on the other bad end of the spectrum are those that just don't care.. sad.

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I have a problem with parents who allow their kids to look like porn stars. Expressing yourself as a teenager is one thing, but I don't think any parent would want their child to express themselves as sex workers...

Wow, archaic thinking is surrounding me today, it seems.

The flooded forest exhibit looks like its going to be off the hook.

I can't get enough of the Amazon fish...arapaimas, rtc's....wish I could have a tank large enough to house them one day.

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Originally Posted by cassandra

I have a problem with parents who allow their kids to look like porn stars. Expressing yourself as a teenager is one thing, but I don't think any parent would want their child to express themselves as sex workers...

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Or even worse...child beauty pageants

:eek:

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Originally Posted by elevatethis

The flooded forest exhibit looks like its going to be off the hook.

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Yep, I really liked the old aquarium... even more than the Monterey Bay Aquarium, but this new one looks like it's going to be incredible. The rain forest dome, flooded forest, swamp, and even the cham displays are all unique and seem to be very well designed. Although I have to give props to the Monterey Bay Aquarium for being able to keep Great Whites. I remember Steinhart tried to keep one back in the 80s in their circular tank, but it either died or it failed to eat so they let it go.

Well guess I'm really archiac then. I follow a lot of what I would guess are old fashioned parenting styles. I don't let our kids act up in public, I insist on them using decent manners and not just assuming the world's out there to please and serve them. I get very tired of children with parents that can't even bother to teach them basic manners and boundaries because mom or dad is either too busy on their cell phone or trying to be Bobby's "best buddy". I adore my kids but I figure...they'll have a ton of friends in life...they have one mom and I get one chance at this stuff with them. What I do, society has to live with.

LOL, that's not archaic, Jo, and you know it!

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

Well guess I'm really archiac then. I follow a lot of what I

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I guess I'm in that archaic pool as well. :cool: It seems lately that parents are trying to be more like a friend to their children than an actual mentor and role-model. I'm sure the media doesn't help when they shove people like Britney and Paris down their throats, but the buck stops at the parent.

You do see a big decline in simple things such as respect, courtesy, and manners over the past few decades. It makes one wonder what people will be like in another 20 or 30 years if they follow that declining trend. :(

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Originally Posted by nathanledet

well back in the day people could straighten their kids out...i know...

now days...kids have child protective services on speed dial of the cell phone their parents are paying for........ :confuzd:

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i'm asian. thats not gonna stop me from slapping my kid

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Originally Posted by SarahMB

Wow, archaic thinking is surrounding me today, it seems.

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Since when is discipline and having well-behaved children is archaic :confused:

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Originally Posted by GA_Ball_Pythons

Since when is discipline and having well-behaved children is archaic :confused:

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It's not. I'm speaking of archaic methods. Since when is it not possible to teach children respect and manners without resorting to violence? Even those parents who use violent methods will readily admit that they are usually as a last resort, and yet the FIRST thing people say is "those children need to be hit". I do find that archaic, and I make no apologies for it :D

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Originally Posted by xdeus

I guess I'm in that archaic pool as well. :cool: It seems lately that parents are trying to be more like a friend to their children than an actual mentor and role-model. I'm sure the media doesn't help when they shove people like Britney and Paris down their throats, but the buck stops at the parent.

You do see a big decline in simple things such as respect, courtesy, and manners over the past few decades. It makes one wonder what people will be like in another 20 or 30 years if they follow that declining trend. :(

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its because of a lack of discipline. when it was 'ok' to get physical with your child, there was respect! nowadays parents are way too lenient, yet at the same time, everyone still thinks its wrong to slap your kid every now and then.

I'm not saying brutalize the poor child. that when it gets out of hand. a slap thats hard enough to let them know you mean business should suffice.

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Originally Posted by nathanledet

now days...kids have child protective services on speed dial of the cell phone their parents are paying for........ :confuzd:

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Actually, I pay my bill. :)

Yeah but how often can I work the word "archiac" into my daily conversations with a 6 year old LMAO!

It is really sad though when I'm on the city bus with Mikey and I ask him to get up to give a seat to an older passenger or someone with a baby in arms or whatever and people are amazed. Like it's something so special that any of my kids should know to do this? Or that when we get off the bus Mikey says "thank you bus driver". It's such a simple thing to say thanks to someone for doing their job and making your life easier but people think it's a big deal. To me, it's just common courtesy.

Ack I can't even watch those Nanny 911 shows and the like. The day one of my kids hits me, curses at me and runs my house with that kind of demanding behaviour....is the day I hand in my Mother's Union Card LOL. I know they over-exaggerate it but I am blown away almost every day by the behaviour I see kids getting away with and their parents are either ignoring it or basically begging their little monster to be a good.

Saw an 8 year old at the zoo the other day. She was punching her mother...not slapping...punching..full closed fist swinging. Mommy was standing there mumbling "now that's not nice, you need a time out"....which of course the kid screamed NO and smacked mom again. In public! In front of two younger siblings! All this because the mother would not let this big girl cram herself into the twin stroller with the two younger kids. I about died! Mikey was all big eyed watching this and Mike looked at me and said...."like to see one of ours try to pull that" LOL

Well, just because at one point it was 'okay' to resort to violent methods also doesn't mean that people used them. But with them as a back up threat always seemed to work because it gave people a way to assert a defined dominance. Now a days you can't even use it as a back up because kids can just threaten to call protective services on you!

Sending a kid to their room now a days is hardly a punishment... Kids seem to have so many toys and fun things to play with in there now as well... It's a far cry from the nice warm bed, lamp and closet that I got! (We did have a 'rec' room where the fun stuff was though)... Mostly for me it was a, 'make your own fun' situation because my parents felt we'd be better off with a summer home than a house in the city filled with toys :) .

And I thank them for that every day. I go out in public today and just roll my eyes at the things people let their kids get away with!

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

Saw an 8 year old at the zoo the other day. She was punching her mother...not slapping...punching..full closed fist swinging. Mommy was standing there mumbling "now that's not nice, you need a time out"....which of course the kid screamed NO and smacked mom again. In public! In front of two younger siblings! All this because the mother would not let this big girl cram herself into the twin stroller with the two younger kids. I about died! Mikey was all big eyed watching this and Mike looked at me and said...."like to see one of ours try to pull that" LOL

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Oh gosh, one of Marc's friends' mom is just like that. We get together at least once a month to get the boys together, and I never know how to act when her son starts one of his violent tantrums. He yells horrible things at her and hit her, and I just stand there in awe.
I'm sure the fact that her husband died a few years ago has some bearing on the situation, but I know I would not let my child stay somewhere and continue playinig if he were to try something like that.

Personally whether you believe in spanking or not, it's a finite thing. You can't whallop your kid for every infraction, you can't enforce anything with a spank if you are more than an arm's length away and if you're short like me....they outgrow you fast LOL.

In the end, I think it's always going to be about love, respect and limitations. I love them enough to both give and expect respect. I love them enough to set limitations so they can learn early on that no one in this life is an island or the center of anyone's universe. We're all part of a greater whole and I'm praying I'm raising kids that will contribute to their society. Even if it's just saying "hey thanks" to the greeter at WalMart for that buggy. :)

If I don't teach respect to me, how will they respect you?

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Originally Posted by GirDance

Well, just because at one point it was 'okay' to resort to violent methods also doesn't mean that people used them. But with them as a back up threat always seemed to work because it gave people a way to assert a defined dominance. Now a days you can't even use it as a back up because kids can just threaten to call protective services on you!

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Heh, believe me, I have a full arsenol of threats that I'm not afraid to follow through on, none of which involve violence of any kind.
Ok, maybe threats of violence with my 7 yr old son, but only in a joking way. I'll say "Oh, maybe I should pop you in the eye if you won't behave!", to which he will reply "Yeah, and then I'll use an upper block and kick your leg!". Then we usually start "pretend kung fu", and he always wins. I suck at pretend kung fu. Oh, by then we are both lauging, and he's much more likely to do whatever it is I asked of him.

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Originally Posted by SarahMB

Oh gosh, one of Marc's friends' mom is just like that. We get together at least once a month to get the boys together, and I never know how to act when her son starts one of his violent tantrums. He yells horrible things at her and hit her, and I just stand there in awe.
I'm sure the fact that her husband died a few years ago has some bearing on the situation, but I know I would not let my child stay somewhere and continue playinig if he were to try something like that.

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That's horrible Sarah. Perhaps the mother is over-compensating for the loss of dad but in the end what is the lesson that boy is learning? That when you are upset - you hit? When a woman upsets you - you hit her to get your way? That screaming and using bad words works? Those are sad lessons that young boy is learning at his mother's knee. It must be an awful situation for you to watch.

I just always remember my Dad's... "You stop doing that or I'm going to get the paddle!!!" He never did it, but it sure stopped us in our tracks when he said it!!

His usual way of discipline though was that we'd be doing something that pissed off my mom (usually me) and he'd just call us over to help him with whatever project he was working on, or ask if we wanted to take the dog out... That worked so much better!! I've found kids with the proper amount of engagement and attention tend to be the ones who behave the best :)

Just had to share a laugh here. This thread got me thinking about how I was raised by my grandparents and how they disciplined and kept me in line (it didn't always work but bless em they did try). Here was my mom's way of dealing with me coming in after curfew (she raised me folks...she may have been my maternal grandmother but she was the mother of my heart)....

I'd sneak in, hoping like heck no one was still up. There would be this little older lady....all 4'10" of her...sitting in a chair by the window...shivering! Yep shivering! I swear thinking back she purposely put on a thin housecoat just to get that effect (sneaky woman!). She's peer up at me, this horribly worried look in her eyes, squeeze out a tear and gasp..."oh thank god you are home girl, I was so worried you were dead on the side of the road somewhere, now quick off to bed with you before your dad knows you're late again!". Then she'd toss in another shiver for good effect.

I swear I wouldn't go out for a month! I mean who can stand a tiny old scottish granny bloody well catching pneumonia because you wanted to kneck with some guy for an extra 30 minutes!

I'm working on that shiver but man I can't lay on the guilt like mamma did. :)

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

I'm working on that shiver but man I can't lay on the guilt like mamma did. :)

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LOL. And here I thought Jewish and Italian mothers cornered the market on guilt trips. :P

Well apparently it's a little known secret that scots grannies can lay it on REALLY thick!

I mean really though...could you possibly make this lovely, kind little old lady sit there worried over your disobedient self, a tear in her eye....geesh...I still feel guilty! LOL

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e2...thBirthday.jpg

(and I miss her every day)

You know, I've worked in customer service jobs for almost ten years (thanks God I'm out of one now!) and there is definately a difference in how people speak to one another. Some people are so polite, you know, say please and thank you... and you genuinely like helping them. But it has always rubbed me wrong when someone would come up to me a 'tell' me to do something with no please and no thank you. I mean, what's it gonna kill you? Good manners are seriously lacking in the world today... and really, they could make up for so much.


I didn't cause too much trouble as a kid (or maybe I was just better at not getting caught lol) but my sister was a hell-raiser... man, I could tell you about some fights she had with my parents. But you want to know what my niece's first word was? Please. And she still says please, she says thank you, and she even says 'scuse me. At two years old! Yeah, the kid gets into stuff... but she's two. She's testing her boundaries... and at least she's polite about it, lol.

---Rant over. Man... I've worked with people for too many years ;)

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

That's horrible Sarah. Perhaps the mother is over-compensating for the loss of dad but in the end what is the lesson that boy is learning? That when you are upset - you hit? When a woman upsets you - you hit her to get your way? That screaming and using bad words works? Those are sad lessons that young boy is learning at his mother's knee. It must be an awful situation for you to watch.

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Post #24 was just beautiful, btw, and I agree with every word!

Yes, this is really hard for me to deal with, but I really do like the lady even if I can't agree with her methods. She has asked me for advice once in a while, and I tell her what I would do. But there are just emotional issues going on there that only a professional would be able to address, really.

I'm laughing about your Gramma. That's great!

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Originally Posted by GirDance

His usual way of discipline though was that we'd be doing something that pissed off my mom (usually me) and he'd just call us over to help him with whatever project he was working on, or ask if we wanted to take the dog out... That worked so much better!! I've found kids with the proper amount of engagement and attention tend to be the ones who behave the best :)

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Yup, I agree!

Thanks Sarah. I hope that mom does reach out for some help for her and for the sake of the life lessons that little man is learning.

Another story about discipline (I'm in a very reflective mood today it seems...so thanks for listening).

My dad (grandfather) was a pretty strict guy....raised old fashioned on the farm where a switch was used and the "discipline" wasn't over till the switch broke...hence he never raised a hand to us...didn't have to...the man could holler loud enough to create deforestation in the yard LOL....anyways....

His typical response if he caught you sneaking in late (gawd help you for that!) was this...

"so you are late...this means to me girl that either...#1 you are not quite smart enough to read a clock so you shouldn't be out on your own yet...or #2 you are flat out breaking the rules on purpose!"

Now as a teenager you are NO way in hell going to say you are stupid and can't read time, nor are you willing to admit to open disobedience....the only answer any of us ever came up with to this was...

"ummm how long am I grounded?" LOL

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Originally Posted by Ginevive

I am not a fan of conservative parents who don't even let their kids choose things like what to wear, tec.

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They don't? :confused:

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

"ummm how long am I grounded?" LOL

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LOL Jo, it sounds like you were raised by very smart people, and never had a chance!

You don't know the half of it Sarah. Not only did I have them doing this stuff but of course my birth mother (their eldest daughter) and her younger three sibs who were mostly grown as well when I came around. If I managed to pull the wool over the parental eyes...the others would show up at some party I'd snuck off to and "suggest" I get my butt in the car and come home. Ack!

Man, you really were surrounded! But it sounds like a very loving home to grow up in, and you have great stories to tell for it. I'd say you were a lucky woman :D

It was "interesting" to say the least Sarah. Being an adoptee inside your own maternal family can be a tad confusing for a young kid but eventually you work out who is who and how you relate to them all (both emotionally and genetically). :)

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Originally Posted by nathanledet

well back in the day people could straighten their kids out...i know...

now days...kids have child protective services on speed dial of the cell phone their parents are paying for........ :confuzd:

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I'm definitely old school! I told my kids that I brought them into this world, if need be I can take them out. From how well they turned out they must have been listening. :P I can't stand to see children who refuse to listen, strike their parents and scream at them.