Need to talk...

It seems from time to time, usually around certain times of the month, I get stuck in Mommy Mode. And I am stuck in it at this morning. I have all the pets to be motherly too, but I do want something more. My fiance and I plan on starting a family once we are married which will be in October.

I've heard to give it a year or two of trying before consulting outside sources on other options and stuff. So we've got plenty of time.

But anyway...

I thought I'd come on here and ask a few questions to all the rookie and veteran moms and dads out there.

What was the your babies nursery's theme?

Other than your first hold, what memory stick best in your mind of your little one? It doesn't nessicerily have to be when they were babies.

Share your experiences or advice.

What a wonderful thing to plan for a much wanted baby! Congrats honey! Couple of things to do now before you get preggers. Google for information about preparing for a pregnancy. Taking folic acid and extra iron now before you become pregnant is proven to be of great benefit for you and the future little one.

I had 4 babies so various baby room themes....princesses and castles for one of my daughters, baby looney tunes for one of our sons. Basically anything that struck me as cute at the time.

Memories...Kate's first day at school, watching my first child get on that bus and just knowing life was changing that day and wanting to hold on to her just a bit longer before she went out into "the big world"....Bethie having a seizure, going through the tests with her so small and thinking at the time that my heart would just simply stop beating if she wasn't okay....Luke deciding at age 4 that "fart" was the bestest word and him managing to sneak in a "Merry Fartmas" to his grandmother! (try to look parental when all you really want to do is hide and laugh your butt off)....Mikey giving me a frown when I say no that is the exact duplicate of his dad....the first time any child looks at you and says "I love you mommy"...that's a tear jerker, heart stopping moment of pure bliss.

Nothing in this life Layna will prepare you for falling in love with your child. There's really no way to describe it, it's like they hand you the baby and your heart just....stops...skips a beat...and you're never really the same again. For a moment in time the world means nothing and it's all about this little life you just produced. They peek at you with their newborn gaze and you become a parent in that one simple moment of bonding. Watching the man you love hold the child you grew under your heart....well girl...there's something very special about that....still makes me get all teary.

Oh one bit of advice, just from my own birthing experiences. If you can and want to use a licensed midwife (they do hospital births of course) rather than a doctor I'd highly recommend it. I had three doctor assisted births and one midwife assisted birth and I can honestly say if I had to do it again I'd go all midwives. They just tend to not "manage" your pregnancy and delivery with a view to it being a "medical" issue as doctors do. Midwives usually see it as the natural process it is, give you more choices, less drugs, more participation by your partner. All in all Mikey's midwife assisted birth was a lovely and still safe birthing experience that I wish I could have had with his three older siblings.

our first nursery theme was dragons ( introduce them to reptiles very early)

my fav. memory either when my oldest lily was only about 2 1/2 months i was on the floor playing with her she kicked and her foot got stuck in my ear ( I have big stretched ear lobes) or when she was about a year and 8 months old the first time she pet one of our snakes ( a ball python now she helps me feed our lizards and clean our snake cages)

I have a memory of my little sister. We're 8 years apart, so I remember when she was younger. She was 4 maybe and loved to wear mom's heeled shoes and she's walk around in them all dressed up. She's get into mom's makeup and play dress up. It was kinda cute now that I think about...lol.

I am sorry if I'm a little out of line here; I don't have kids, but I watch my 2-y/o niece pretty often. I can only say that they grow realllly fast, and it seems like every week she is learning 100 new things.. wow. I wanted to say, you should treasure your kids' young years, because I was so blown-away by how fast they grow once my sister had this kid (I never had younger siblings.) Wow!

themes? colour, colour, colour :) of course, we co-sleep so they are in our room so we add heaps of colour to our room for them. i always hang a lot of things from the ceiling as they spend so much time looking up. so, in the bedroom, living room, kitchen... there were hanging stuffies, etc all facing the floor for a good view for the baby.

as for memories... i have three kids 20, 13 ane 8... so i have lots from each.

first for eldest daughter... when i saw in her diaper that she WAS a girl... i was so sure they lied to me and she was a boy (even bought all blue sleepers LOL)

my son... him leaping naked from the top of his little tikes mini van onto the couch... :rofl:

my youngest daughter... when she was in my belly, her daddy would come into the room and she's know it... she'd start kicking up a storm.... day or night. she was such a daddy's girl!

as for a midwife... oh ya... GREAT idea. a doula is wonderful as well. she's there to assist you in labour, not birth!

i also breastfed until the child/baby weaned. 13.5 months on the eldest. 3.75 years for my son and my youngest... 4.25 years old. and worth every single moment!

kids become independent soon enough... giving them a warm safe place when they are young is vital IMO... so don't push them to do things... let them do it on their own time. ;)

mean what you say, say what you mean and do what you say you are going to and you'll do GREAT as a parent!

well her first theme was fairies...not the cheesy kid ones though.
I held onto to almost every second with her...we nursed and co-slep so those were AMAZING bonding moments....my best memories to date...she was 2 months and I got into my moms huge bathtub with her...we laid there in the warm water her nursing..skin to skin and I could feel her tiny heart beating next to me....I sat there for so long i had to keep adding warm water....but for some reason it was amazing...early morning golden sun coming through the window...breath taking moment for me...I had those "omg I'm a mom" moments all the time and I still do! I dont think that ever stops....My favorite age was 9 months and younger though...she needed me more then she ever will in life and I ate up each moment like it would never stop...I wish I took more pictures and made videos more often....gosh those were fun times.... oh man I want a baby again :eek: And yes I wish she nursed longer...coslep longer et etc. I let her decide when to stop or start anything....she started to cut back on nursing at about 13 months...but continued for some time (just has started trying to sneek some breast milk when I'm not looking...sleeping in bed topless...taking a bath with her etc LOL) The moments pass to darn fast...but new memories are born...right now she is my lil partner in crime...a huge help with everything and a busy body to hell and back...
Oh and my/her sling...that was the best thing I bought....i have to post a pic of her in it...I would sling her on my back..I had to always have her in my arms or in that sling..she was horribly attached...ok I was to ;) We did alot in that sling while she lay all cozy and snug on my back...golfing..took showers (she was on my hip for that)..water parks...the beach...around town...yard work...dog parks...house cleaning etc...that thing got used to death!

So, to change the subject slightly, what is the hardest thing about being a parent?

Not a subject change at all hon, parenting is wonderfully joyful but anyone that tells you it's not tough or occasionally heartbreaking or heart stopping is a liar (or on REALLY good meds). LOL

Let's see, the tough stuff....with infants it's the lack of sleep, the mindless comments people make about how "they" did it (grandparents can be sometimes bad about this), the self-doubt and just plain worry that the little one will suddenly stop breathing or not eat enough. Comes with the territory and they are actually a lot more resiliant than they appear. Oh and if nursing, your boobs get a mind of their own and if you just have to laugh a lot of that off. You also wonder if you will ever have a love life again, you will but it'll be different but that's okay too.

As they grow, the worry when they are first do something without you, the pull to allow them to grow independent of you versus your need to keep them close and always safe in your arms. The scary times when fevers spike, bones snap or blood appears and you just feel so horrible for them and think you're the worst parent on the planet (and you're not of course). I hated getting their shots, even though I know they must have innoculations I hated it every single time. When they don't win a race or a game or a friend snubs them....that just hits your heart hard.

Once they get close to teens it's about sex, drugs, decisions, driving, school, dating, parties, hormones and moods. The first girlfriend/boyfriend that breaks their heart....well you know what it's like to want to kill somebody. It's a tough time to be a parent and all I ever could figure to do was love them when they weren't being very lovable and help them survive despite themselves. I've got one just turning 20 and she made it through, the middle two are 15 and 13 and I'm in praying mode for the next few years LOL. The little 6 year old will be there before I blink.

Flat out scariest for me though is anytime one of my kids has had a surgery (not often thanks be to God). It's a feeling beyond words when they wheel them away and I never took a deep breath until I was in the recovery room with them. It just simply sucks (even small deals like tonsils...still...sucks!).

In the end it's the toughest, most wonderful "job" in the world and you often don't know if you've done it right until it's too late and they are grown. When it gets tough you wonder why you had kids...but then you can't imagine life or yourself without them. :)

Jo, you're not kidding. My son had to have a hydrocoeles repair (basically surgery right above the groin). It was the WORST experience as a mom. First my husband gets sick the day of, so off I go with my infant daughter in tow. The surgery itself went well, but they woke him up too soon and the pain meds hadn't kicked in. They brought me back and he was just screaming. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. (in fact they are now just thinking about it) The nurse had the audacity to tell me I should leave, and get myself 'together'.... I've never been so close to punching someone in my life! I DON'T THINK SO! I just sat and rocked him until he calmed down a bit. I just remember being so happy he made it through the surgery and so horrified that he was in so much pain. After we got him home he ended not being able to tolerate the pain meds (:puke2: ) and started running a fever and came down with a stomach virus from the hospital. (apparently half the workers were ill). UGH! Absolutely terrible.

Except for the rare moments, the hardest part is letting them grow up. It's hard to let your kids do things that you know will end up hurting them, but it's important for them to learn some things by themselves. Also keeping the little boogers in shoes and clothes is such a pain. :rolleyes:

I remember you telling me about your son's surgery and the awfullness of it. There's just nothing a parent can do but be there (I'd have smacked that nurse!) and try to absorb some of that pain with our comfort. It's such a powerless feeling when they take your child into surgery. Doesn't matter if it's a big or small thing or if they are toddlers or teens, you still hate that moment when they are gone into the O.R. and you can only wait.

Shoes...geeze...Kate went through three shoe sizes in one school year! With gym shoes, regular outside runners, rain boots, winter boots, dress shoes....she nearly broke the bank on me that year. I swear you could sit and watch that kid's feet grow! LOL

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Originally Posted by Reptilian

So, to change the subject slightly, what is the hardest thing about being a parent?

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when your child gets to the age when you suddenly become dumb and they know everything...

that stage tends to suck :(

I'm catching glimpes of THAT stage already. *basking in the 'Your the best mommy EVERY' stage*

My daughter has been getting a blister on the outside of her big toe. I've bought several shoes at different sizes and I've finally gotten it to come down. She's soooo picky about the shoes too. Not to mention that they just wear the things out! (before they've outgrown them too!!!) Shoes are definitely a touchy subject right now.. :rolleyes:

This thread gets two thumbs up! :gj: :gj:

Ok...I have 3 kids and they are 8, 13, and 14. Lot's of fun memories but the ones that stick out for me the most...

I would have to say the first time I heard Sara (14) laugh! It was just the sweetest laugh I had ever heard. I still love to hear her laugh! ;) Another fond memory of her was her freshman year (this year) of school. She was so nervous! But soooooo excited at the same time! She absolutely loves school! She is friends with everyone. lol.

With my son Kyle (13), it would have to be when we bought him his tugboat sandbox and when he got outside he stripped down to the buff and jumped in it! I was doing yard work and turned to see what Sara was laughing about and there he was! lol. He is a funny kid.

ahhhh...and the baby, Caitlin (8). Her raspy voice! When she was a baby she always had this raspiness to her voice. When she was 3 I had her leave the outgoing message on my answering machine and it is still on there almost 6 years later! I don't think I will ever erase it!

Now when I was pregnant I would say the kicking is most memorable. Well...besides the birth. There is NOTHING in the world as cool as getting that little foot poking out the side of your tummy. I would also say it can be a little painful when they get them stuck in your ribcage! lol.

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Originally Posted by Reptilian

So, to change the subject slightly, what is the hardest thing about being a parent?

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well...

letting go.

Knowing they may go through some of the things in life that you did and how hurt you got.

first boyfriends.

did I mention letting go?

first girlfriends.

seeing them grow up in what seems like a day.

o....and letting go. :(

Wow what a great thread!
I was blessed with four little girls, being a mom has been the hardest yet most wonderful thing I have ever done. My girls are 17,15,11,and 8.
https://ball-pythons.net/gallery/fil...9622_47570.JPG

One of the best memories I ever have and will never forget is when I was getting close to time to deliver my 3rd and had a very curios 5 and 4 year old. They were bugging my mom for something she finally looked at them and said why don't you go ask your mom how she plans to get that baby outta her belly, and no the stork don't deliver! After talking with them explaining the basics of it my adorable 5 year old gets the most disgusted look on her face and says... "Mom... I didnt swallow any did I?"

The hardest time was last year when my oldest girl got shot in the face with a Pellet rifle. She simply stepped out her door when a neighbor kid pointed it in her face at close range stated he was gonna shoot her .. she said yeh ok whatever and he cocked it and shot. He swears he thought it was empty the sherrif marked it as an accidental shooting and it is over him. For my daughter... she lost her right eye. The lead pellet sits just below her brain and will for the rest of her life. She has had 4 surgeries and faces at least one more. She will always have to carry medical insurance as every three months she has to get her replacement eye cleaned buffed and sometimes repainted at uv rays dull it. She will always have to wear saftey glasses indoors and sun glasses out doors, to protect her good eye.

So yeh being a parent sure has its ups and downs but even a small hug or a simple love ya mom is the best reward!

And to who mentioned the "letting go" O my!
My 8 year old learned to ride a bike with 2 wheels last week, everyone is standing outside cheering her on .. I'm standing in the window bawling my eyes as it feels like the last of my baby days are gone.
I love being a mom I would have 4 more if I could!

:hug: that is so sad... :(

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Originally Posted by tigerlily

I'm catching glimpes of THAT stage already. *basking in the 'Your the best mommy EVERY' stage*

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awwe...I love that stage. :aww:

Caitlin still tells me I am her "best friend"! I just love it!

Kyle and Sara always said "Your the bestest Mommy in the hole wide woild!" :giggle:

I also get a kick out of "Your the best mommy I ever had!"

I also love some of the stuff that spouts out my daughter's mouth like... I just killed my germs (after washing hands and said very offhand like) and You should never put a noodle in your nose.

I've also learned some things that I never expected to learn. I can name at least 50 monster trucks (and almost 1 for every letter of the alphabet). Did I just admit to that out loud? :oops:

I just wanted to thank everyone for their input, it really does help with the process, even though we're only thinking of it for now. It does help prepare for later on though.

:)

Wow Sin your poor daughter! What an awful experience to go through for her and for your entire family. :grouphug:

Another memory for me that I'll always treasure....

I had my 4th at a hospital but with my first midwife assisted birth. My husband Mike was there and the older three were allowed to come and go as we wished. We'd given Katelyn our oldest who was 14 at the time the option to stay for the birth and in the end she did. Having my oldest "baby" and my wonderful husband there, all three of us working together to bring young Michael into the world was an experience I can't even put into words here. In the middle of giving life to another child I watched my oldest child have such a part of it. Kate just blew the midwife and nurses away! For a 14 year old her calm, directed approach was amazing to all of us. She and Mike both worked together, helped me relax and deliver the baby without any intervention of drugs or machines. It was truly a family in that room.

To this day young Michael is so bonded to his big sissy Kate. I think somehow he knows she was there and watching them together is always very touching for me.

that's so beautiful jo :hug: