Internet Friends

Well today we get informed in school that on Monday some of us have a big exam. 6 out of our class were picked and me being one of them I need to do some research. So here goes...

What are your views on children (your own included) making friends on the internet through sites such as bebo, MSN etc rather than going out and socialising on the street or in youth clubs etc?

Thanks!

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Originally Posted by StickyStevie

Well today we get informed in school that on Monday some of us have a big exam. 6 out of our class were picked and me being one of them I need to do some research. So here goes...

What are your views on children (your own included) making friends on the internet through sites such as bebo, MSN etc rather than going out and socialising on the street or in youth clubs etc?

Thanks!

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I don't have kids but here's my view. To a small and monitored degree its ok, but in America we're all gonna become agoraphobics in no time! I've met a few people on the net that I've become friends with, but you need to verbally socialize and get out and walk and be active.

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Originally Posted by StickyStevie

Well today we get informed in school that on Monday some of us have a big exam. 6 out of our class were picked and me being one of them I need to do some research. So here goes...

What are your views on children (your own included) making friends on the internet through sites such as bebo, MSN etc rather than going out and socialising on the street or in youth clubs etc?

Thanks!

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As long as children are in school they will be required to socialize to some degree. I feel that totally replacing real friends with internet friends will have (if aloud to happen) devastating effects on that child. Their are things we learn while interacting one on one with humans. These include body language, eye contact, confident body posture exc. These things project to the other person our state of mind, intentions and mood during an encouter. I have many friends that I have never meet before on here, but as a 26 year old man I have developed the skills it takes to communicate effectively in a one on one encounter with another person and can balance the two. If children are aloud to only socialize with people over the net then I fear the art of conversation will be lost in two generations. Well no harm no foul right? Think of all the things that require one on one communication. Dating, job interview, being assertive in a stressful situation to avoid being taken advantage of. Pime example my little brother was an intravirted (sp) kid. Chat rooms were the only place he really tried to connect with people. Now by the time he was 14 he was afraid to go anywhere or do anything with out my mom or dad being there. When we would go to restaurant's he wouldn't even order for himself he would tell mom and dad and they would have to order for him. Now he grew out of this after the computer was taken away but never the less aloud to go unchecked it could have gotten out of hand. Long story short. We are a group ordinated animal and as such have built our society around that notion. Children who lack the skills to communicate effectively with others will be at a disadvantage.

i think a balance is wonderful. although the only friends my teen is allowed to make is in a particular game room and only a few select people. his best friend IRL is there with him... and they do lots of "not computer" things together. ;)

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Originally Posted by recycling goddess

... and they do lots of "not computer" things together. ;)

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What sort of non-computer things if you dont mind me asking? :oops:

i have many friends here and there that don't live near me that i talk to online. me in a way still being a "child" i seem to get along better with people online than i do with people in person (dont know why) but i still have plenty of friends in person.i guess in person you have to worry about making a good impression to people while online all you do is type and no one can see what you're doing.i have friends online because i like to see how people are in other places rather than just the city i live in. when i have my kids, i'll let them socialize with people online as long as i know the people they talk can be trusted.


lol stickystevie, you used a quote from me as your sig? lol thats cool...i dont mind.

Kids need to get out and socialize! There was a study a few years ago that showed that people who use the internet (expecially to socialize) for a certain amount of time per week had a way higher depression rate than people who don't use the internet as much. Kids need to be active and socialize in reality for both their physical and emotional health. Then you add all the weirdos, pedophiles and perverts who lurk around the internet, and there is no way. The only way I would allow it was if my (hypothetical) kid was playing an online game where it was common place to chat. But even then I would be over his/her shoulder constantly. That's my opinion.

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Originally Posted by StickyStevie

What sort of non-computer things if you dont mind me asking? :oops:

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trampoline, skateboarding, bike riding/tricks, tossing around a football-baseball-frisbee-his sisters hat-teddybear-doll-shoe, swimming, going to the beach or the lake, cliff diving, playing the guitar, hanging out in our clubhouse/playhouse to name a few things. he's a boy... a teenage boy... just think of what he could be doing and multiply it by 3 LOL

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Originally Posted by Snakeman

lol stickystevie, you used a quote from me as your sig? lol thats cool...i dont mind.

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Yep, sure do! Glad you approve... its a good phrase, and you said it first on here so I added your name in :P

Good response too btw, been putting peoples into a word document and going to use as peoples personal views on the issue.

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Originally Posted by recycling goddess

just think of what he could be doing and multiply it by 3 LOL

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LOL... thanks aleesha! Going to nail this speech now :cool:

I don't have a problem with my kids socializing on the net via myspace or games. But I monitor everything coming in and going out. I know every acct name and password they have, and anyone added to their myspace (other than a fansite) I know personally. I keep them set on private for a reason! I also have very strict rules about the amount of time (1 hour) they get and I must be in the room with them.


They play outside they go to public school so I believe they get plenty of non-net time to be with their friends and do all the normal kid things we all did as kids.

I have a little girl, 5, and she will be able to the internet things...to a certain degree. I've thought a lot on this topic and have come to the conclusion that if it's monitored properly, can't be a huge problem. As long as she is active without outdoors activities and has a group of friends outside of www-land, I won't see a problem with it. Little bugger already has a email account too. haha.

Those limits and rules sound good, Sin. Maybe I just don't want my kids to be a nerd like me.

speaking of little girls...my younger sister(she's 12) asked me a couple of months ago if she can make her own myspace (me and my other younger sis have one) and im like..."uh no, until you're older". i dont want her to be that young and already letting myspace and internet run her life and talking to guys that are like 10+ years older than she is.

Thought I should put my personal response in seeing as I asked you lot for yours! :P

I spend a lot of time on the Internet. If im in the house you can nearly guarantee I have been on the net for atleast an hour per night. Although at the weekends if people are going to the cinema or somewhere I would go there. During the summer I would be golfing everyday, just like some people swim everyday, or play baseball everyday. Theres advantages and disadvantages for both reasons, although both are linked. Online, however, you can really protect younger people by using parental controls such as private accounts, blocking certain sites, and so on.

Its really a two-sided issue and you probably cant come to an agreement on one side. I know I would be in your shoes with kids of my own.

Thanks so far for all of the response... it will definitley help with my exam and its appreciated!!

I dont have any kids,but i think to a degree it is ok,aslong as their chats on the net are supervised and aslong as they dont meet up in person too soon after meeting,and that the other childs parents are ok with everything too.
it can be good for kids,but it can be bad too.
i myself have met people off the net but not untill i really knew who the person was.some of my best friends i met on the net.
it can be good and it can be a way of the child getting out of the house and learning new things with new people.

I think is just fine, to a point. If a child is spending all thier time online or does not have many real-life friends, then that is a problem, but the internet is a great place to talk with people from all walks of life. And for children that are not exposed to different cultures in real life can do so through the internet. I've talked to people from all over the world.

Its a great experience, but parents need to be watchful because there are some nasty people on there and too much internet usage can lead to internet addiction (like me... :rolleyes: ) My parents never limited my internet usage and now I am online anywhere from 3-8 hours a day. I have a few online friends who I talk to often. No harm comes of it, and I do get out and socialize in real life. Its a good balance....minus the hours and hours online. :)