Arguments

I hope Adam does not mind me quoting him. But I think some things need to be addressed.

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Originally Posted by Adam_Wysocki

There's just been so much crud going on lately, I guess it's getting to me. I just want to keep things positive here and sooo many people are making things personal and ugly.

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I strongly agree with Adam. I used to be a very avid poster in this forum then had to leave due to the lack of internet. I came back and it seems that at least 1/2 of the threads are riddled with pointless arguments. Very discouraging. I am mostly a lurker now. This needs to be stopped people. If I turned lurker over it, think of all of the new people that come check out this site and see all of this crud. Newbies aren’t going to ask questions if they think they are going to get yelled at. If they aren’t asking questions you can pretty much guarantee they are doing SOMTHING incorrectly with their reptiles. This used to be such a friendly web site! I think people still have good intentions but you really have to realize that perception is reality. If outsiders perceive this much arguing they are going to assume that this is what we are all about.

There have also been some complaints that the mod team is being too harsh about stopping threads. My personal opinion is that they have been too lenient. I would not object to heavier handed dealing with argumentative threads.

Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest.

PLAY NICE OR DON'T PLAY AT ALL!
Just remember that this is a FAMILY oriented web site and we are here to help people, not to be the "best herper" or the "most knowledgable".

Thank you.

And anyone who has echoed this sentiment silently or aloud.


We would love to see things return to a more civil mood as they have tended to always be here. I know we are now much larger in terms of our member population - and it is no longer a case of "everyone knows everybody" - but that lack of familiarity - or assumption of anonymity does nto translate into the inherent right to be rude or lack any social conscience.


We're working hard to find positive solutions. Unfortunately every time we try to do this we are the "over moderating nice police", "megalomaniacs" or other less friendly names that suggest our motives are related to some sort of power trip (sans money of course). Or taking these concerns into account and easing back to allow things to try and resolve themselves civilly - well we see what the end result of that is.


I and the entire staff (and probably this whole community but I don't want to be presumptuous) appreciate every effort made in this direction.





And HAPPY FRIDAY (again)

I totally agree with this, what brought me to BP.NET was the friendly atmosphere here, it has changed big time and I just stopped posting pictures for awhile. mostly because I was being asked to provide pictures of my adults breeding, eggs hatching and a load of other crap that no one should be subjected to. should someone have to be required to post pictures of there entire collection to sell a baby ball pythom? and if anyone should post a snake for sale that is thin and not the best looking snake, is it right for alot of the members to jump all over them for that? most people will recognize an unhealthy snake and pass it buy. this is a very intelligent group of people! just cant figure out why we cant co exist without all the arguments? :)

Civil discourse we can more than live with - debates are welcome, arguing a salient point is a worthy investment of time.

Petty personal attacks and maniplulatons etc - not even remotely related.




(I corrected me spelling - now gimme some granola and kick that hacky sack over here, moonbeam!)

:clap: I completely agree, there is too much :bonk: and not enough :grouphug: . And I'm not saying im inocent of this, cuz i really need to learn to hold my tounge more. Sorry to everybody I flame. I recently have been subject to making a thread and it turning completely wrong.http://ball-pythons.net/forums/showthread.php?t=43061 The only problem with all forums is it is very hard to express and interpret someones attitude. I myslef really need to learn to start reading things with a monotone voice.

There are lots of things that need to be addressed here. Not the least of which is a blatant lack of respect for the those that have been here for a long time helping people care for their animals. The fact of the matter is, sometimes in life, some people are going to be more valuable in a given environment or situation than others. Children are brought up being told that they are all equally as important to give them positive self esteem and to assist in shaping their future. This is a site full of adults and sometimes hugs and puppy dogs isn't the best approach. Not everyone here is equal in their experience or their ability to bring something to the table. In fact, some here just exist to self promote with no regard for helping others and without a sense of community. I won't name names but I can be sure that they know who they are.

I don't tiptoe around subjects and may not always say things the way people want to hear them. I also am not influenced by others to say ANYTHING that comes out of my mouth (or through my keyboard). I am an individual and a person with strong beliefs and convictions.

Is it really more important to be more important?

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Originally Posted by Smulkin

Is it really more important to be more important?

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Like GAH Matt!

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Originally Posted by Smulkin

Is it really more important to be more important?

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I am not sure what this means.

All I am saying is that this place is suppose to be here to help newcomers and refine the ways we keep our scaley friends.


If you have an opinion differing from some one elses, by all means speak your mind but do it in a constructive manor and do it ONCE. Petty bickering back and forth ruins the entire thread.

No where did I say this site was all about hugs and kisses. It is about HELPING people. Too many people on this site have the motive of wanting to be the "better herper" rather then just wanting to help some one with questions.

It is just silly.

Now I am going to shut up and follow my own advice. lol

I just meant if we are here to help each other and new keepers, hang out etc why should our own self-perceptions of importance play into it? The herps are central, right? I'm just saying we should not obscure the central and important theme here (BPs/herps) due to personality conflicts, disagreements or work difficulties (GULTY! GUILTY! GUILTY! I am on that count).

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Originally Posted by jglass38

The fact of the matter is, sometimes in life, some people are going to be more valuable in a given environment or situation than others.

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Originally Posted by jglass38

Not everyone here is equal in their experience or their ability to bring something to the table.

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Not trying to start anything just a honest question, because I do not have 10- 15 or 20 years of experience, nor 20, 50 or 100's of BP, does that mean I do not bring anything to the table and that basically I have just been wasting my time and other people's time by posting here?

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Originally Posted by GA_Ball_Pythons

Not trying to start anything just a honest question, because I do not have 10- 15 or 20 years of experience, nor 20, 50 or 100's of BP, does that mean I do not bring anything to the table and that basically I have just been wasting my time and other people's time by posting here?

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I'm not sure how you got that from what I said. I was making the point that some people bring more value than others. Some people are here to help and some are here to self promote. Plain and simple.

IMO, the disappointing and dismaying aspect of this all, is the personal attack. We all will not always agree on things; but it upsets me to see people taking things so personally and using degrading, inflammatory language and name calling.

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Originally Posted by jglass38

I'm not sure how you got that from what I said. I was making the point that some people bring more value than others. Some people are here to help and some are here to self promote. Plain and simple.

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Ok so let me rephrase this, what are the qualifications, according to you (since you seem to have a strong idea about it) to be a valuable member bringing something to the table? Is it being a veteran, having a large number of animals, having 10+ years of experience or it is something totally different?

It's just out of curiosity not to try to start a fight and if you don't feel comfortable explaining this here you can PM me.

As we get more members (now over 4000 :O) it gets harder to make sure everyone 'plays nice' but we are all doing our best to keep the family friendly atmosphere that makes BP.net special.

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Originally Posted by GA_Ball_Pythons

Ok so let me rephrase this, what are the qualifications, according to you (since you seem to have a strong idea about it) to be a valuable member bringing something to the table? Is it being a veteran, having a large number of animals, having 10+ years of experience or it is something totally different?

It's just out of curiosity not to try to start a fight and if you don't feel comfortable explaining this here you can PM me.

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Deb, once again I will try to explain this clearly since I too don't want a fight and respect your opinions. I was referring to veterans of this site who have been here a long time helping people vs people that are only here to self promote or to try to discredit them. As far as the value of members as it relates to their ability to provide advice, I'll leave that up to each individual person to decide.

hey guys,

well, just my 2 cents.

people like me, which you call the people asking the questions, advice, etc., would give credit to the people who give those answers and advice. i love this site and i've always felt like this was a strong community. we all have something in common, so instead of everyone trying to prove somerthing, we all need to be friends communication our sole purpose-BP!:rockon:

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Originally Posted by Shelby

As we get more members (now over 4000 :O) it gets harder to make sure everyone 'plays nice' but we are all doing our best to keep the family friendly atmosphere that makes BP.net special.

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Ever meet a family that had more then 4 kids and they NEVER faught? I havent. It's a GOOD thing fussing over spilled milk sometimes people! If you hold EVERYTHING in it just rots your insides! Not Healthy... This forum needs some bickering!! It's Good for you..

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Originally Posted by JASBALLS

Ever meet a family that had more then 4 kids and they NEVER faught? I havent. It's a GOOD thing fussing over spilled milk sometimes people! If you hold EVERYTHING in it just rots your insides! Not Healthy... This forum needs some bickering!! It's Good for you..

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I like it! Welcome back John! :D

I agree! We are all Human here, brought here for one perpose, Ball Pythons! We will ahev our fair share of bickerings, and people who don't want our advise. It will happen again! I see a bright bright future for this site, and I don't want a few bickerings to ruin all the fun, entertainment, and the enjoyment of keeping Ball Pythons and being on this site.

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Originally Posted by jglass38

I like it! Welcome back John! :D

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Thanks Bro! And to all That dont (like) It.. Thanks Brothers and sisters.. Bottom line, We are ONE.. Like it or not... BP'S Rule!!

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Originally Posted by JASBALLS

Thanks Bro! And to all That dont (like) It.. Thanks Brothers and sisters.. Bottom line, We are ONE.. Like it or not... BP'S Rule!!

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Viva Daytona bro...I can almost taste the Corona!

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Originally Posted by JASBALLS

Bottom line, We are ONE.. Like it or not... BP'S Rule!!

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AMEN!

Its sad that when you try to help some members here they go off the deep end and insist you hate them.I guess we need charts or something showing that a certain thread is being rude and others are not so noone misunderstands the tone of the threads.Its hard to avoid certain members here and refuse to help them in concern that they will misunderstand your intensions to avoid the drama.I think everyone has cabin fever and needs some fresh air ASAP! :rockon:

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Originally Posted by joepythons

I think everyone has cabin fever and needs some fresh air ASAP!

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I agree!
COME ON SPRING!!!! I want to go hiking & horse back riding.... I just want to be outdoors for hours in the nice spring cool/warm fresh air.
:( Man do I not like this cold junk.

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Originally Posted by joepythons

I guess we need charts or something showing that a certain thread is being rude and others are not so noone misunderstands the tone of the threads.

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Kind of like a " x many members found this thread helpfull" ?

I guess it could function like an extension of the reputation system with a "rate this thread" link in the headers or something. I don't know if it would impact server load or anything but there are an awfull lot of threads so it probably bears some consideration.

Possibly the current poll system would be useable as it recognises when someone has already "voted" to prevent abuse.

Either way I think it would be a big change and a fairlly complex thing to instigate and administer. But I like the idea.



dr del

you can already rate threads. it's at the top of your thread... you may vote once :)

Yipee I learned something new - now I can relax for the rest of the day. :D


After all the brain is a delicate organ and I don't want to wear it out all at once.:P


dr del

**edit** as proof of the above I had to edit this for spelling - I miss-spelled a 4 letter word. :oops:

/**edit**

nope you sure don't want to overload it and wear it out LOL

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Originally Posted by GA_Ball_Pythons

Not trying to start anything just a honest question, because I do not have 10- 15 or 20 years of experience, nor 20, 50 or 100's of BP, does that mean I do not bring anything to the table and that basically I have just been wasting my time and other people's time by posting here?

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I would say no not at all (not wasting your time that is). I am also fairly new in here and have gotten some great advice from the folks. I also have given some advice myself, but it was mostly recycled advice I got from others here lol

anyone who offers help is appreciated. you never know, it might be YOUR answer to a question that is going to make things click for someone to make it all worth while

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Originally Posted by JASBALLS

Ever meet a family that had more then 4 kids and they NEVER faught? I havent. It's a GOOD thing fussing over spilled milk sometimes people! If you hold EVERYTHING in it just rots your insides! Not Healthy... This forum needs some bickering!! It's Good for you..

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more than 4 kids? LOL I cant keep my *2* kids from fighting all the time. its called personality clash, and it happens everywhere every day. you just dont always see it happen :)

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Originally Posted by recycling goddess

you can already rate threads. it's at the top of your thread... you may vote once :)

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I did not realize that. Thanks Aleesha!

I haven't been a member here for years as some of you have, but I have gained valuable info from many of the members who have answered my questions, or answered questions of others. I've also been awed by the generosity of some of the members (sending a BP to another who lost hers, etc.) What attracted me to this site was the "attitude" or "culture". A sharp contrast to many other sites I occasionally frequent. Lately however, it seems that some members are reacting way too harshly . . . I don't know if it is cabin feaver or what.

I agree that a debate on any subject is healthy . . . as long as it is a debate and not a personal attack based on someone's personal interpretation of a word/sentence or reaction to someone's actions or lack thereof. I do not agree that just because "we're all adults" or "that's the way I am - I don't hold anything back - in a forum or in person" that it gives us a right to be uncivil.

We all have our own passions, be they about BPs, herps in general, rats, animal rights, etc. and we should feel comfortable expressing those passions - but not at the expense of another person who may have not intended a certain interpretation, or who made a mistake. I know some may not be personally hurt by a flame but there are many others who are and that is unacceptable to me.

My :2cent:

I too have learned ALOT from this site. However...I am VERY reluctant to ask questions because I do think sometimes people may be a little harsh with their answers. I can handle it...but I don't like to be hated on for something accidental or just whatever. I have had snakes in my life since 1995. I love them and treat them very well. I think everybody on this site a so much to offer.

I also want to say that if I do have a problem or question and I don't ask here because I may get a little hated on...I do not simply forget it. I do find the answers else where.

I didn't know EVERYHING about children when I had my first and I still don't. I learn something new everyday and I am thankful for that :)

All in all...I really enjoy bp.net and all who is on! you all are WONDERFUL! And I can't WAIT to meet you in person in Daytona!!!! :rockon:

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Originally Posted by Alice

I do not agree that just because "we're all adults" or "that's the way I am - I don't hold anything back - in a forum or in person" that it gives us a right to be uncivil.

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Thank you for saying that, Alice!
If the people who say they act the same way in person as they act here actually do, I would think that would lead to many awkward social moments.

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Originally Posted by SarahMB

Thank you for saying that, Alice!
If the people who say they act the same way in person as they act here actually do, I would think that would lead to many awkward social moments.

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Daytona here I come! ;)

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Originally Posted by jglass38

Daytona here I come! ;)

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I'm not sure I should even try to interpret that.

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Originally Posted by SarahMB

I'm not sure I should even try to interpret that.

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Just me being silly... :D

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Originally Posted by jglass38

Just me being silly... :D

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Oh, haha! Well I can't wait for Daytona, I hear the social situations there are more funny than awkward!

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Originally Posted by SarahMB

Oh, haha! Well I can't wait for Daytona, I hear the social situations there are more funny than awkward!

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I can pretty much guarantee its going to be a good time. :)

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Originally Posted by jglass38

I can pretty much guarantee its going to be a good time. :)

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You think? Aren't you scared about having your stalker there...in the SAME HOTEL as you?????:O

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Originally Posted by daaangconcepts

You think? Aren't you scared about having your stalker there...in the SAME HOTEL as you?????:O

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Haven't I been clear that I LIKE to be stalked? Quit trying to scare me, creep! :D

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Originally Posted by jglass38

Haven't I been clear that I LIKE to be stalked?

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Super! I will be there with bells on :nerd:

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Originally Posted by jglass38

Haven't I been clear that I LIKE to be stalked? Quit trying to scare me, creep! :D

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What do you mean trying to scare you? You looked pretty darn scared last night!!! I even took pictures this time....gonna start a Wall o' Jamie in my bedroom.

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Originally Posted by cueball

Super! I will be there with bells on :nerd:

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I knew you wore bells! How cute!

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Originally Posted by daaangconcepts

What do you mean trying to scare you? You looked pretty darn scared last night!!! I even took pictures this time....gonna start a Wall o' Jamie in my bedroom.

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I like the way you think! The Wall o' Jamie feeds right into my ego! Better beware of my reverse stalkology....

:hump:

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Originally Posted by lillyorchid

I agree!
COME ON SPRING!!!! I want to go hiking & horse back riding.... I just want to be outdoors for hours in the nice spring cool/warm fresh air.
:( Man do I not like this cold junk.

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Oh I agree!!!

Give hugs :hug: and not to fight too much :frustrate :angered: . I know Im sorta new here. Not on that much. But I enjoy this site, and all the info everyone give off :) Lets keep that up :) And all get along :hump:

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Originally Posted by jglass38

I like the way you think! The Wall o' Jamie feeds right into my ego! Better beware of my reverse stalkology....

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Haha..Bring it on!!! You do know that you won't be the only one right?? You better come prepared to fight off the others for that balcony view...:sabduel:


:8:

I want to go to Daytona in a year or 2! Meat all my Bp.Net buddies! Have fun!:rockon:

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Originally Posted by lillyorchid

I agree!
COME ON SPRING!!!! I want to go hiking & horse back riding.... I just want to be outdoors for hours in the nice spring cool/warm fresh air.
:( Man do I not like this cold junk.

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I Agree 1000000%! All we have out here is a cover of snow over some ice; can't hardly lead a horse safely, let alone ride safely.. :( Although ATVing in the snow is fun until I get stuck, lol..