wife wants her out

Well today the wife told me today that she don't feel safe with having a med size snake like my Female BCI. She is only 6 months old but the wife really don't like the size that she will achive at adult size. I really hate having to see her go i've always wanted a boa like the RTB. But now that i have a 5 month old daughter she is more important. What do you all suggest that i do? Thanks Aaron

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Originally Posted by reptilesnr/c

Well today the wife told me today that she don't feel safe with having a med size snake like my Female BCI. She is only 6 months old but the wife really don't like the size that she will achive at adult size. I really hate having to see her go i've always wanted a boa like the RTB. But now that i have a 5 month old daughter she is more important. What do you all suggest that i do? Thanks Aaron

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tell the wife she has to go:D

Really though, try to show her how secure the enclosure is and make sure you think of every question she could ask you ahead of time.

-Tim

she's just afraid of what she could do to our daughter even when the baby is older and the snake is larger.

Put your foot down and tell her that the snake killing the baby is all in her head. How many stories have you even heard of that happening? Zero. The odds of the snake getting out, the baby not being monitored, the snake GETTING to the baby and doing any harm is about 1 in 1,000,000 chance. How big is the snake right now? If it's 6 months old, it'll take a long time before any harm could be done.

I went thrue this with my wife a few years ago,Try to educate her on feeding,and husbrentry.get her involved with your day to day with the snake.When me and my wife first got togeather she was terified of snakes.now looking after my collection is a joint effort. She went from not going in the snake room to owning 7 of her own in 4 years.most people are scared of snakes due to lack of knolage.maybe get a corn than work her up from there

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Originally Posted by reptilesnr/c

Well today the wife told me today that she don't feel safe with having a med size snake like my Female BCI. She is only 6 months old but the wife really don't like the size that she will achive at adult size. I really hate having to see her go i've always wanted a boa like the RTB. But now that i have a 5 month old daughter she is more important. What do you all suggest that i do? Thanks Aaron

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Well, only you know the full situation in your own home, and know your wife's heart and mind. So, if you think you can change her mind as others have suggested...it's worth a try. But if you know she's not going to budge...then your next best bet is to try and find a good home for it. Since it's just a wee baby, there should be no huge rush to give it to the first person who smiles at it. Be patient and be willing to find it a good home with people who know how to take care of it.

To do that...you can start by posting an ad for it in our "ForSale/Trade" forum. Explain your situation...include your location...a picture of the animal is always helpful...and specify if you want any monetary compensation for the snake or its equipment (if caging and whatnot goes with it)...and how far you're willing to drive to meet an interested party for the swap. We have quite a few very knowledgeable and caring members just within a couple hours of you, if both parties are willing to make a drive to help a snake.

However it goes...I wish you all the best with it!

judy, that's exactly what i was going to post.

very well said!!!

Well i talked to her more about the whole worried problems that we was having and she was just wanting to let me know they were on mind. So we have talked about it more and we are keeping her. She likes snakes also so that wasn't the prblem but thanks for the support on both sides of the problem i really love my boa. thanks

Funny, I had a similar conversation with my girlfriend last night. Fortunately she reluctantly decided that if this was something I was going to get into and enjoy, then even though she may not want to be part of it, she will stand behind me.

I guess when you find a good one, you just know huh.

I'm glad she is re thinking it and has thought about keeping it now. Best of luck with that!!!

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Originally Posted by reptilesnr/c

What do you all suggest that i do?

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Buy a lock for the cage and room, keep the children away, follow the 'two people rule' once the snake hits 8', and coach your wife out of her fear.

Anytime an incident involving a snake 'hurting' someone happens....it is ALWAYS the keeper's fault. So if something were to happen to a child in your home, all the blame would lie on you......not the snake. If you can't handle that responsibility, then I suggest getting rid of the snake. If you (and your wife) are confident enough in your keeping ability to have no fears....then keep the snake.

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Originally Posted by daniel1983

Buy a lock for the cage and room, keep the children away, follow the 'two people rule' once the snake hits 8', and coach your wife out of her fear.

Anytime an incident involving a snake 'hurting' someone happens....it is ALWAYS the keeper's fault. So if something were to happen to a child in your home, all the blame would lie on you......not the snake. If you can't handle that responsibility, then I suggest getting rid of the snake. If you (and your wife) are confident enough in your keeping ability to have no fears....then keep the snake.

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especially for a boa. they do not get too large to manage with 2 people and if fed right will hardly ever get too much for one person to manage

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Originally Posted by tmlowe5704

they do not get too large to manage with 2 people and if fed right will hardly ever get too much for one person to manage

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ANY snake over 8' in length should have two people handling it.....and female BCIs have the potential to get over 8'.

What does the 'fed right' comment mean? Do you mean 'fed less'? All snakes have the potential to reach their maximum size if fed properly..female BCIs can reach 8'+ easily on a proper diet...If someone has to resort to underfeeding a snake to keep it's size down, they should have never purchased the animal in the first place.

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Originally Posted by daniel1983

ANY snake over 8' in length should have two people handling it.....and female BCIs have the potential to get over 8'.

What does the 'fed right' comment mean? Do you mean 'fed less'? All snakes have the potential to reach their maximum size if fed properly..female BCIs can reach 8'+ easily on a proper diet...If someone has to resort to underfeeding a snake to keep it's size down, they should have never purchased the animal in the first place.

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from what I have seen, most over 8 feet are overfed and overweight. i should have written most will not reach over 8

Family first. One should never be afried to come home.

I didn't mean to have this topic blew up into me not being able to care for my family and my hobby. Wife and I are 100% sure that we can handle her when full grown the wife just had some issues that had to be cleared up. It's just things you hear other people saying and things that they show on t.v. Not 100% complete truth of alot of things, I handle all my herps with respect and consideration of them and my family.

well, we all know there is a LOW chance the snake is going to get to your new baby, but your wife should also not have to be constantly paranoid that something is going to happen to her baby. If she is really having a problem, i would say try to find the snake a new home, or put a lock on its cage, or something that will make her feel secure. ask her what she wants to feel safe, if anything, besides getting rid of the snake.
Good luck to you and your new family :)

Right now the snake is only 2ft long it's around 5 or 6 months old. So we don't have to much to worry about right now. And besides by the time she is ready for a big tank i'll have either a AP or a Boaphile with a lock on it. I just have her in a sweater box 12qt. right now and im wanting to get a Thermostat im thinking the HERPSTAT by SPYDER
ROBOTICS Would that be good one to purchase?

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Originally Posted by reptilesnr/c

I didn't mean to have this topic blew up into me not being able to care for my family and my hobby. Wife and I are 100% sure that we can handle her when full grown the wife just had some issues that had to be cleared up. It's just things you hear other people saying and things that they show on t.v. Not 100% complete truth of alot of things, I handle all my herps with respect and consideration of them and my family.

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I dont think the above comments were meant towards you.I have found majority of the "stories" people make up are just because they dont like snakes and in turn think you should not have them.Please do not beleive anything on tv and this includes the shows "the big squeeze" and such.They do not show its the moron who hold his bunny and then goes and reaches into his large snakes enclosure fault he got wrapped up:mad: .If you and your wife feel comfortable then its your choice as it should be :D .Now where are some pics of her? :P

Thanks again for the help from everyone on here, this is the best website i think. Well im still wondering about the Thermostat but im sure i'll get some help on that also. Well i would post pics but i don't know how.

i would help you out with the thermostat, but i know nothing about them, im sure if you post about it somewhere else you will get some really helpful advice :)

good luck!

I really wouldn't let her worry too much. A bit of education goes a long way.

Such as in my case, I have a 7.5ft, 20lb female common boa on one side of the room(along with 12 Ball Pythons of various ages/sizes) and 24 rats on the other side of the room. The boa is in one of those VE-175 tubs from ReptileTubs and cannot get out.

I have never felt uneasy about this situation and none of the snakes show a feeding response while in this room with my rats(as they eat mice, f/t rats and small rabbits). No one really recognizes these rats as food sources(unless they were dropped into the enclosure), just as that boa when it's bigger, isn't going to think that baby is a food source.

We babysit two 3-year olds ALOT, and if my mother felt that this wasn't a safe situation, then the children wouldn't be brought into the house. She knows the snakes are contained(not that they would hurt anything anyway) and no one is at risk of being bitten, constricted, maimed, chewed on, etc :)

My grandmother on the other hand... Well, she's a different story, hehe. Oh well, it's a good in-law deterrent *giggle*

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Originally Posted by SatanicIntention

My grandmother on the other hand... Well, she's a different story, hehe. Oh well, it's a good in-law deterrent *giggle*

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Quite so!! First time my mother-in-law (snake-o-phobe) came into our house when we had 4 month old Emily (BP) out she came and plonked herself down on our sofa next to me. I looked at her and said "You know the snake's here?" - well she screamed and literally ran (she's 90) to the far corner of the room :D I nearly wet myself laughing!! She's got used to it now though and when she stayed in our house one night she shared her bedroom with our boa :cool:


I'm glad you're keeping your snake, I'm sure everything will be fine once your wife sees all the locks firmly in place :thumbsup:

Haha, my fiance's grandma is terrified of snakes. I gave him Ashes to babysit for me while I was at college and they won't even tell her he's in the house or she won't come in. He was never really afraid of snakes, more or less intimidated, but he loves Ashes to death now.