I dont know what to do...

I had quite a few e mails sent to me regarding peoples and my feelings as to what happened with in the last 24 hours on this forum.

I have mixed feelings about leaving. so in a way to keep the peace I want to leave. and in a way I dont want to leave due to the fact that this forum is the only place I feel at home.

I dont know what to do any more and i feel like an ... **other word for Donky**... about what I did and said. Because of the whole MKR thing I feel as if some of you think differently (sp?) of me, and that is ok. If we can all put this behind us I feel things between me and some of the users on this forum could go back to the way things were befor my out-burst.

to Jglass38 : I'm truly sorry for saying the things I said to you and about your posts.
we all get angry and sometimes we don't see things or want to see things how they really are. I miss read what you said and went off the hook, and you said some things that were hurtful. And Im deeply sorry for what I said to you.

to JLC: I'm sorry for making you and your forum look bad. It was not my intention (sp?) to do so and I promise it will never happen again. if there is anything I could do to make up for my rudeness you know i would do it.
I think very highly of this forum and it's users and I have send several people to this forum for questions and answers.

to every one else that was effected by my words and post regarding my words: This is not a plee for foregivness, or anything like that. I just feel really badly about what I did. This forum is like my 2nd family and like all families we too can get in to it once and a while.

I'm sorry for everything and I think I would like to stay. (not like I'm getting booted right now any way)

Thanks for letting me get this out guys/gals
:grouphug:
Jess

it happens.

Here's the thing..... I, personally, have no problem with you.... Yes, a few of the things that were said were out of hand, and out of line.... but there have been people I consider friends posting things out of line before too... it happens to all of us....

But, here's what I have the problem with... and I mean this with no rude meaning, and no hard feelings..... Please don't take any offense to it... but if you're staying, stay! We'd love to have you... If you're leaving, GOOD LUCK!

Saying that you're leaving in just about every post I've read from you, and then NOT leaving is, to me, just someone crying out for help... and there's been plenty of members willing to help you... Just think of your mother-in-law coming over to stay, and standing at the door for two hours saying she was leaving.... over and over again... it gets old...

Like I said... no rudeness implied... We'd love to keep ya here... but just don't threaten to leave every 5 minutes when someone erks ya.... We can't all be friends on here, but the friends you will meet should be enough to keep ya here.

Good luck in whatever your decision is.. but it IS YOUR decision! :)

Take what you learn from the experience and just more foward. Nothing personal just views and opinions. We can all live with what happened.:sunny:

Jessie, there's no reason for you to feel like you have to leave. Everyone here has had rough patches to go through at times....it's just life and interaction with other human beings. If we all ran away from all the places where we may have made an ass of ourselves, none of us would ever have another human to talk to. ;)


I think everyone is really happy that you're happy with the snakes you are getting. Just understand that if you try and convince folks that they should somehow like MKR, you're likely to get some vehement arguments. But that doesn't mean you can't still make the choices you want to make and still have a home here at BP.net.

Just as with anything we are passionate about, there are topics that can bring out the worst in anyone.

The trick is learning to pick your battles and fight them in the right way.. but we all say things we don't really mean at times.

Either way, the fact that you could take a step back and apologise is a great step in the right direction!

Best of luck.

hey april, any tinley pics? did nerd have any new morphs out? c'mon i need pics! lol



vaughn

You just had to bring that up Vaughn and here I was happily pretending I didn't just miss Kara, Kev, Adam and everyone and all the cool morphs at Chicago today *sob sob* :(

lol, jo! i remember kara saying something about bringing some surprises to the show! it's killing me! i want to see some new morphs. what could they be? i want pics!




vaughn

Patience guys.. though I didn't take any pics at the show, so you'll have to wait for others to post pics of NERD's stuff. I didn't want to drag a camera with me all day.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shelby

I didn't want to drag a camera with me all day.

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oh gee thanks shelby :( obviously we aren't worth the effort of carrying a camera all day :(

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Haha.. well it's a big bulky $1000 camera! I can be a clumsy person at times, so I thought it was in it's best interest to be left at home.

I'm sure others got plenty of pics for you. :P

isn't it some kind of bp.net sin to go to a major show and not take pics? :D now i'm going to toss and turn all night wondering what the new morphs were!:eek:



vaughn

i think she has pics but she's holding out on us vaughn. :P

Maybe everyone who visited the NERD table were forced (at thread of contstriction by retic! :P ) to sign a Non-Disclosure contract so that we have to wait for Kara herself to unveil the goodies??? :O :taz: :rolleye2:


:P :P :P

Yeah that's it Judy!

There were a lot of people asking them to take snakes out for pics (which they did)

I'm kind of shy for that.. I barely got up courage to ask to hold some of them.. but I am glad I did!

There was a very pretty (let me see if I can remember what it was) super pastel spinner.. is that it? Anyway it was insane looking.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shelby

Yeah that's it Judy!

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*aleesha scratches her head and is feeling duped!*

Well, the best you can do, is just live your life with good conscience and so that you are able to sleep at night. Everything else is just filler.

jen that is one gorgeous ball in your avatar! :O

Thanks! That's my Ginger baby; hopefully she'll be a mama this season!

well she's drop dead gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!

Well I found out from my Dr. that I had what was called a ”Nervous Breakdown”.
*What ever that is*

I'm 100% better and I hope that NEVER happens to me again. So much crud has been happening to me this past month that I guess I couldn't take it any more... or at least that is what the Doc said. So I figured I would let you all know that I'm doing much better now and that I'm going down to a spa to get rid of any left over tension.

Talk to you all in 3 days.

Jess
:grouphug:

It's good to hear you are feeling much better now.. enjoy your spa day!

Poo Poo ducky! the spa is closed untill tuesday. Oh well I can wait. :P I'm actualy right now working on my latest carving/ sculpting piece. It is looking really nice but it is taking for ever.... I'm carving each scale... well it should look 100% better than that cruddy Blood Python I made.

What is it of?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jessie_k_pythons

Well I found out from my Dr. that I had what was called a ”Nervous Breakdown”.
*What ever that is*

I'm 100% better and I hope that NEVER happens to me again. So much crud has been happening to me this past month that I guess I couldn't take it any more... or at least that is what the Doc said. So I figured I would let you all know that I'm doing much better now and that I'm going down to a spa to get rid of any left over tension.

Talk to you all in 3 days.

Jess
:grouphug:

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wow our doctor doesn't work sundays. we have to wait till the weekday to see our doctor. :(

glad to hear you got over your nervous breakdown so fast...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shelby

Patience guys.. though I didn't take any pics at the show, so you'll have to wait for others to post pics of NERD's stuff. I didn't want to drag a camera with me all day.

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Eek :omg: so everybody is waiting for MY PIC's? I'll try to get them posted for you guys soon.

This one is of a BP and here is a teaser
soerry not the best photos

http://www.hexibase.com/~jessica/bps1.JPG
http://www.hexibase.com/~jessica/bps2.JPG

Chocolate helps. =) *hug*

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cassandra

Chocolate helps. =) *hug*

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I love chocolate!

Wow that is looking beautiful.. I have done some sculpting and am always trying to learn more.

Would you mind telling me how you sculpt the scales in? I would very much appreciate any tips you have. :)

art is cool. I gotta try that!

nice job jessie!

I bought a Pick set from my local Harbor freight for 3 bucks. baked the clay and drew the pattern right on the baked clay.
http://www.hexibase.com/~jessica/tut2.JPG

Pencel works the best cuz if you muff it up you can erase it and redraw it.
http://www.hexibase.com/~jessica/tut1.JPG

once it is the way you like it take the strait pic and draw over top of the pencel marks, just a little harder this time.
http://www.hexibase.com/~jessica/tut3.JPG

well there you have it. I hope that helps you all. Art is great!

Wow that is awesome.. thank you!

What kind of clay? Would sculpey work?

Also.. silly question, but what kind of place is harbor freight? I've never seen those picks before.. are they made for sculpting?

common tools.

harborfreight is a tool warehouse.

just get some cheap picks from the auto parts place.

thanks jessie!! awesome!

http://www.harborfreight.com/

heres the pick set!! 2.99 LOL
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/cta...emnumber=34328

great value! put it this way...my Snap-On pick set cost me 30 bucks not 3. ;)

LOL Snap-On pick set ($34): http://buy1.snapon.com/catalog/item....re&dir=catalog

Harbor Freight is a tool place that sells tools for less. you get what you pay fo for some of the things but most items are great for outstanding prices. they dont sell Black and decker or troy built or Dewalt but some stuff they do have is really well built and lasts a long time. but check out the website if you ever get the chance, www.harborfreight.com The picks were just a random find there in the Auto section.

As for clay I use Sculpy only. not sculpy II just plane sculpy. it works the best and keeps it's shape and plyibility under low heats like body temp up to 150 degrees. but starts to fully harden when baked. you can sand it, paint it, carve it and make hides for your reptiles, It becomes non toxic after it is fully baked.

Wow thanks again.. this is exciting for me!

I'm going to get those picks.

So the sculpey doesn't get too hard when it's baked then.. cool. I happen to be partial to super sculpey since it is less crumbly and tends to retain fine detail better.. for me anyhow.

Super is good to for carving. but i like the plane white sculpy because it is not rock hard when baked but it will show fine detail... sometins the bad boo boos too if you mess it up badly like i have done in the past LOL

Wow; that is awesome; you are very talented :) I can't wait to see how it looks when done.. there are not many things I hate more in art than unrealism and innacuracy in anatomy;markings/etc. Your stuff looks very accurate and I like!
I don't want to be stereotypical; but artistic people seem to have more than their fair share of mental anguish. I myself have had a handful of nervous breakdowns; I know how they are and how you can say and do things that you later regret. I have spazzed out on people before; had panic attacks; felt like I could not relate to people. I was made fun of in school constantly for being different; for being good at art and preferring to spend time in the artroom as opposed to gym, etc.
Whatever happens; whoever has problems and issues w/ you; never give up your art!

Sounds like me too Gin. I think the fact that I'm a left handed artist makes me even more wacko. :D

lol :)
I have gone through parts of my life where art seemed like my only real friend. I wonder if there's a gene relating to both creativity and insanity :) I like to think of it as a usually-good insanity; but hen again, some people's idea of a good time is destroying things, harming their bodies through addictions, etc.. so how bad can it be?

Yeah I've wondered the same thing.. you know it seems a disproportinate number of the great composers and old masters were insane. lol!

Well you got me peged Ginevive. I'm BiPolar and Dislexic. I laso have ADHD. My mood swings are more due to my BiPolar Disorder but I dont like to use it as a crutch (sp?!)
so I just blame it on me being me :D

My art really has to do with my depression levels, the more depressed I am the better my art comes out. the worse mood I'm in , the same rules apply. you all should fire me up more offen to get me to do more art work LOL J/K :P

lol :)
I usually do my best art when I have something on my mind that needs expressing; then again, sometimes I am in a good mood and merely feel like I want to create a miniature world where everything there, is there because I put it there.

That is always a good feeling to... I like to play the sims for that reasion. then if my bad mood hits i light the house on fire and restart where I saved LOL

Another sculpting question if you don't mind.. how on earth did you get the head shaped and smoothed so perfectly?! Also what tool(s) did you use to put the heat pits and mouth line in?

Jessie that sculpting looks f'ing awesome!

I haven't made any art in a while and I think it's throwing me into a serious depression...

Jessie,

We have all stepped on a few toes from time to time. You do enough dancing and it happens. Your appoligies will do leaps and bounds for your recovery with people here. You have never done anything to me and so I can speak from an unbias stand point. Stay or go that choice is up to you. I don't think anyone here wish you to go but I don't speek for everyone. Good luck and best wishes

:O Wow that bp head looks spot on! and the scales are so realistic :sweeet:
i used to do alot of pencil drawings mainly of avp stuff and cartooning.
havnt done that for years now ,keep meaning to get back in to it thou.