How to stop flinching when feeding?

Hey everyone, first post here! I just got my first ball python a bit over a week ago. They told me at the pet store she's about two months old. I've wanted a snake for a long time and she's perfect and seems to be settling in great, except I've had some problems feeding her.

Last night when I tried to feed her, when she struck at the mouse, I flinched so badly I dropped it and caused her to miss. This happened three times! It's not that I'm scared of being bitten (I'm using tongs and have no fear whatsoever of snakes), it's the suddenness of the movement that made me jump. I've always had a really extreme startle reflex (I will jump at pretty much anything), and it doesn't help that she was wobbly enough I'm not sure she would have hit it anyway. She seemed to lose interest after I caused her to miss a few times, and I left the mouse in her tank overnight, but she didn't take it. I decided to try leaving her and a mouse in a paper bag overnight tonight to see if she will take it that way, but she just doesn't seem interested if it's not moving. I think she might only be interested in taking it if I do the zombie dance with it.

I honestly feel really frustrated with myself! I know that she ate not too long before I got her because I found feces in her tank, but she's on the skinny side so I was already stressed about getting her to eat. Does anyone else have problems with flinching when trying to feed? Is that something that goes away with time? My hope is that, as I get more used to how she looks when she's about to strike, it won't surprise me so much. I'd love to hear any tips that you all might have. I'm worried I'm going to be a terrible owner for her because I have this stupidly overactive reflex. Is there a particular way of holding the mouse with the tongs that might help her grab onto it more securely even if I do flinch and drop it?

Related question, if she doesn't eat the mouse tonight, should I wait a week before I try feeding her again? I know to wait a week for refused feedings but I know she's hungry, so I wanted to be sure.

Thanks so much for any help or advice!

Hopefully you'll improve with practice, but since you've "always had an extreme startle reflex" maybe you should have thought twice about keeping a BP. It helps to hold the mouse with the nose forward & sufficiently warmed so the snake can better target & hold onto it- BPs do rely on their heat-sensing pits, while any "motion" by the rodent should be subtle & never toward the snake. (Prey animals don't volunteer to be dinner, & such a bold action can scare off your snake, lol. The idea when offering prey is to elicit a slight "chase" from the snake.) And yes, if your snake refuses a meal, it's best to wait a week or so before offering again, so they aren't stressed about it.

How long are the tongs you have? I guess my only suggestion would be to try slightly longer ones, and possibly you won't react as much if the movement is a little further away. But... I don't really know you, so I can't say for sure, lol.

One of my friends, like, would have the startle reflex to this very specific sound effect in a video game she was playing, and she knew it was going to happen when she hit the button, but it still happened. It was so weird to see, but I believe you. I wonder if you could google whether there are techniques that can help you overcome the startle reflex; perhaps there is something you can practice that is not feeding your bp, that will still help once you need to do it.

Another idea: Rest your arm against the edge of the cage or a ledge or something, which will stabilize your arm more. If your problem is with more like a jerk/jumping-type motion and not letting go of the tongs, just stabilizing your arm could help.

What if you just didn't even watch your bp go for the food? Just look away? I dunno. Just a thought. I'm open to that idea being shut down by others on here if needed, lol

I wish I knew how to stop flinching! I still do it even after 20+ years :D:P

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Originally Posted by TofuTofuTofu

...What if you just didn't even watch your bp go for the food? Just look away? I dunno. Just a thought. I'm open to that idea being shut down by others on here if needed, lol

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Hey, that could work! At least the flinch will come AFTER the snake has the prey? Just don't drop the tongs on him after he's got it, lol.

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Originally Posted by AbsoluteApril

I wish I knew how to stop flinching! I still do it even after 20+ years :D:P

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Haha, thanks! It's great to know I'm not the only one.

Thanks for your advice so far! I'm going to try stabilizing my arm better - I don't drop the tongs, fortunately, but I do jump enough I let go of the mouse. I'll also see if looking away helps, those are both really helpful tips. I'm warming the mouse up under her heat lamp after I thaw it, so I think it's getting hot enough for her to be able to target it. I'm using the longest tongs I could find (about a foot long), so hopefully the additional stability will help.

I'll google some techniques I could try to help me get past the reflex, too. I've always known I jump easily, but I didn't think it would be such an issue. I think part of it might be the anticipation - my girl takes a good 30 seconds to strike, so as I get more used to her, that might help with that part of it.

I'll follow your advice and wait a week if she doesn't take the mouse tonight. I'll keep you all posted! :)

Hey, the reason I think that "looking away" WILL work is because that's exactly what I do whenever I get an injection or blood draw. I don't greatly mind either one, but it's hard not to flinch if you watch about to happen, & the last thing I want to do is move my arm right as they give me the jab. I don't know why I didn't think of that, but I'm just glad someone did. :gj:

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Originally Posted by Bogertophis

Hey, the reason I think that "looking away" WILL work is because that's exactly what I do whenever I get an injection or blood draw. I don't greatly mind either one, but it's hard not to flinch if you watch about to happen, & the last thing I want to do is move my arm right as they give me the jab. I don't know why I didn't think of that, but I'm just glad someone did. :gj:

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Absolutely! I'm surprised I didn't think of that sooner, I bet it'll work like a charm.

Funnily enough, injections and blood draws are one of those things I don't flinch at! I have a rare blood type so I'm even a frequent blood donor, and I never jump at needles. I guess it's just sudden noises and movements that get me, but if I can't see it coming, I bet she'll have enough time to get it.

There is a snag with ‘looking away’ though ... you may get tagged yourself.

Occasionally Royals will completely miss the target and they shoot right past and out of the viv towards you ( warm hands/arm) . I wear glasses thankfully as once or twice they’ve come near my face .


I use those long kitchen tongs for extra protection :)
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Depending on the bedding drop feeding works. You can use a paper plate an see what happens. Or the plate (or bedding) an pull the prey tail. Hint, don’t pull the tail with your hand.

Good luck!

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Originally Posted by 303_enfield

Depending on the bedding drop feeding works. You can use a paper plate an see what happens. Or the plate (or bedding) an pull the prey tail. Hint, don’t pull the tail with your hand.

Good luck!

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Yeah .. .. though drop feeding can work really well , if fed over a plate as mentioned or just a piece of card .
Again though this works better if you give the mouse / rat a real good blast with a hairdryer ( plugged in close-by ) and in dim light .


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I used to flinch pretty bad too when I first got my BP. My guy is a good eater and always strikes pretty fast. I’ve had him for about 2 years now and I’ve gotten used to it. At first I would rest my arm on the side of the cage like mentioned above. Just do your best to prepare for it and you’ll probably get over it. I also just looked away a few times which made it a lot better. You can try this as long as your snake is a good eater and will come to the mouse himself. Good luck!

Almost forgot to post an update, but good news! She's eating great for me now. Thanks to the advice you all gave me to look away/brace my arm better, the next few feedings went off without a hitch. I still flinch, but I've been draping a blanket over the side of her tank so she can't see me as well and I think that helped too - I think part of the problem was that me flinching was scaring her.

Thanks so much to all of you for your advice. I'd been so worried about her that I feel like I've been walking on clouds ever since she first ate for me.

:gj: That's great news! Very glad you're "adapting"- :D

I mentioned somewhere that when using the hairdryer method the feeding response/strike is sometimes exaggerated and they lunge well past the mouse / rat in their enthusiasm...so averting my eyes is simply not an option :)

I sometimes have to suddenly lean backwards just to avoid a feeding strike :)


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