So I have been doing some thinking..... Suggestions?

At this point I have emptied all the negative people from my life. Been a few months of being alone. Just me and my animals. I was sitting down and thinking about getting on a dating app and looking at what to put in the "About me section". Here is what I am thinking.


If I could design the perfect woman for me here are the things I would look for.

1. Honest- I am very honest and want someone that is honest as well. Sure there are times you have to be gentle but always be honest.
2. Creative- I paint, build things, play music, and apply creativity in all that I do. Would like someone who likes the same.
3. Open communication- If you can't talk about it you should not do it. I can and will talk about anything. Give an honest opinion and would like the same.
4. Love for animals and people around you- Everyone deserves respect and that applies to animals as well. I have several snakes and 2 dogs. Must love snakes. Sure they deserve respect for what they are but my animals are my kids.
5. Intelligent conversation- I am intelligent and can talk about almost anything and willing to talk about almost anything.
6. Healthy and active- I am active. I hike, boat, kayak, and am on the move a lot. If you have serous health problems that limit mobility, you might not be happy trying to keep up.
7. Life ambition- I am all about family pulling together to make life better. NO this is not about money but you should have some direction in life. I am not a sugar daddy, and will not be a bank account for anyone.
8. Taking it slow and steady- We have a lifetime to get to know each other. Lets enjoy the adventure. No you are not moving in with me unless we are in a serous relationship for a few years. No I will not marry you till we have been together for years. Yes I will work towards these things in good time with the right person.
9. Positive attitude- Life is great! So much to explore and things to do. Join me!
10. STD free!- I have kept myself safe through testing and want to stay that way. I am not hating on anyone who has a STD. People with STDs are people also and deserve love. Sure how you got it might not be your fought. Is a life choice for me.

I understand that as we age together life will happen and in a serous relationship will be by your side loving you all the way regardless of what life throws at us. I am dependable and steady as a rock. I expect the same. Love first and above all else.

I am open to suggestions to help me revamp this some. LOL. Do you see anything that is negative or harsh? Does any of it need reworded or eliminated? Open to suggestions to anything that might need to be added.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Does any of it need reworded or eliminated?

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I would eliminate all of it: It is written in a Basic, Self-absorbed, and Hostile tone.

I'm sure as a Creative, Intelligent, Positive person that you can do better.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lord Sorril

I would eliminate all of it: It is written in a Basic, Self-absorbed, and Hostile tone.

I'm sure as a Creative, Intelligent, Positive person that you can do better.

---

If is so bad, give suggestions? Just saying scrap it and start over is not helpful.

As a proud, independent woman in her prime, I was immediately put off by the tone, and by the third sentence I was not interested and ready to move on to reading something more interesting. It sounds self-absorbed, immature, like you're perfect and you're looking for perfection in return.

This screams to me that you still aren't ready and need to do more soul searching. Figure out what you need to work on with yourself... figure out the things you'd like to work on with someone else. You're still looking for something easy. Life with someone isn't about perfection together, it's about being flawed together, and still making it work. It's HARD. There are days where it's a grind, and yeah sometimes I just flat out don't like my person, because Lord knows he isn't perfect, and most especially not perfect for me. But I still love him.

This is my opinion of course, for what it's worth.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ladywhipple02

As a proud, independent woman in her prime, I was immediately put off by the tone, and by the third sentence I was not interested and ready to move on to reading something more interesting. It sounds self-absorbed, immature, like you're perfect and you're looking for perfection in return.

This screams to me that you still aren't ready and need to do more soul searching. Figure out what you need to work on with yourself... figure out the things you'd like to work on with someone else. You're still looking for something easy. Life with someone isn't about perfection together, it's about being flawed together, and still making it work. It's HARD. There are days where it's a grind, and yeah sometimes I just flat out don't like my person, because Lord knows he isn't perfect, and most especially not perfect for me. But I still love him.

This is my opinion of course, for what it's worth.

---

Thank you for your input. How would you relay these things without coming across as self absorbed and thinking I am perfect? I know people are flawed and myself as well. Is having standards wrong? Is putting them out in the open wrong? Yes I am flawed but I do have a lot of good things. How is it bad to want someone who has those things as well? This is me trying to grow. IS why I asked.

Yea, it sounds like you need to work on yourself first. You come off as too arrogant and #10 was just so unnecessary lol. Who blurt those things pre-first date? I know your intentions are not to waste each other's time but you will find no matter how much you try to streamline your potential mates, there is always a surprise. The part where it is supposed to be about you, what makes you a good partner to another, was written about your assumptions on to the next person that this is what they should or should not be to make THEM a good partner to you. There is even a hint of what your last partners may have been to make you feel this way today. So again, if you truly desire a long term relationship, work on yourself first then try dating again.

If you are looking even if you are not it will happen unless you put them off with a profile like that.

I met my husband 17 years ago online (also at the time I was only looking for friends since I was only gonna be her about a year, I can tell you that the one thing that won him over and he still remind me of that to this day is the following sentence.

"I just want to know who you really are"

Of course I described myself but it was brief, I had no expectation or should I say demand, we started talking and finally met and it we knew that this was not gonna be a friendship and we were meant for one another......yet we have nothing in common, he is not an animal person (now he has embraced having dogs but does not like snakes), he is shy and quiet and well I am me :rolleyes:, I am a gamer and very much into movies, he thinks games are a waste of time and movies well our taste is very different..... and the list goes on he is also 18 years older than me.

I'm going to agree with the others and say this comes off as very self-absorbed and immature. If you compare potential partners to a bullet list of qualities, you are going to be severely disappointed with everyone you meet. If you even think you NEED to, well, maybe you need to wait on dating. If you're sure you want to try dating...

Scrap the list.

As another proud and independent woman in her prime, this is exactly the kind of thing that gets you put into the "ignore" category. No one wants to read a list of requirements that they must meet in order to date someone. No one is going to give you the time of day with that list. Also, I'd like to point out this:

Quote:

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...looking at what to put in the "About me section". Here is what I am thinking.
If I could design the perfect woman...

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The "About Me" section is NOT where to explain your perfect woman. It's where you write about YOU. So stick to that. Do NOT list qualities others must have, just list your own. Mention the important stuff like owning snakes and being active. The point of a dating app is for people to get to know you through it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by skydnay

...The "About Me" section is NOT where to explain your perfect woman. It's where you write about YOU. So stick to that.
Do NOT list qualities others must have, just list your own. Mention the important stuff like owning snakes and being active. The point of a dating app
is for people to get to know you through it.

---

This exactly! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ When you tell potential friends about YOU, they will assess if there are any deal-breakers (like fear of snakes etc) but for the
right person you feel "connected with", many things you just work around. The likelihood that you have everything in common is unrealistic & virtually nil...but
what you seek is a person you can trust, communicate with, depend on, and enjoy being around.

Lots of great feed back. Thanks everyone. Keep it coming. I am listening.

"If I could design my perfect woman" is pretty off-putting. It's like saying you're going to hold up a ruler to every person you meet and reject anyone who doesn't measure up. Doesn't sound like fun.

In "about me" don't talk about yourself with adjectives, as in "I'm intelligent". Talk about your interests, what you like to do, what you like to read and talk about. Maybe say something about what you do for a living and why you like it or don't like it or why it is/isn't an important part of who you are. Talk about where you have traveled, or where you would like to and why. If you do art or play music, talk about what kinds of things you do and enjoy. What instrument do you play? What style? What do you do for fun?

I met my partner online fifteen years ago. What distinguished the ad I answered from all the ones I didn't is that most of them were practically identical lists of favorite TV shows and "I like to chill and hang out". Nothing that tells me why the person who wrote it is more interesting to have dinner with than a potted plant. The ad I answered talked about bike touring and other fun things and gave me a sense of the real person who wrote it.

Sorry I'm just now circling back - I agree with a lot of the feedback being given. It's self-absorbed because you're talking about what you want from someone else when you should be talking about yourself. Build yourself up! Give some self love! What are the qualities you like about yourself? What are the qualities you need to work on? Open yourself up to the possibility that perfect may not be exactly what you have pictured in your head. By pigeon-holing the woman you're looking for, you're pigeon-holing yourself and your own possibilities.


An example:
Once upon a time, this would've been my perfect man:

He would enjoy reading and appreciate quiet moments like looking at the stars
He would be intelligent and enjoy scientific interests
He would be a tidy individual and keep a clean space
He would be organized, including with his finances, and would know how to save and when to spend
He would enjoy being outdoors, hiking, running, swimming, etc
He would always follow the rules and the laws and stay inside the lines


A lot of the above characteristics I like because they're also mine. My life would've been steady and un-exciting. BORING.

I married this man:

He hates to read, prefers to have music blaring with two TVs on at the same time, watching two different programs
He's super smart, but about engines and football and music and whatever he puts his mind to
He is NOT tidy
He is not organized, is constantly losing his wallet and his watch and his favorite shirt, has three junk drawers, and spends money like we grow it out back
He hates being outdoors, prefering to be lazy on the couch watching GoT or playing video games (though he does lift weights every day, which I do not enjoy as an activity)
Any rules are voluntary, laws are flexible, and lines are really more of a guide


The man drives me insane. We are two completely different souls, we have two completely different outlooks on life. And I found that I NEEDED that. I have a tendency to get far too deep into details, and I get too wrapped up in keeping things neat and tidy and perfect. I needed his chaos, for him to tell me when to chill out on the couch, to leave the laundry for later, or throw finances to the wind for a night and live a little. And he makes me laugh.

Don't restrict yourself to perfection. Perfection is boring. Real is way more fun.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Does any of it need reworded or eliminated?

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lord Sorril

I would eliminate all of it: It is written in a Basic, Self-absorbed, and Hostile tone.

I'm sure as a Creative, Intelligent, Positive person that you can do better.

---

lol i think he should keep all of it. Mr. Sky is just being himself.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Does any of it need reworded or eliminated?

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lord Sorril

I would eliminate all of it: It is written in a Basic, Self-absorbed, and Hostile tone.

I'm sure as a Creative, Intelligent, Positive person that you can do better.

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

lol i think he should keep all of it. Mr. Sky is just being himself.

---

...or change it up. use the 1 drink rule in your profile. like if u meet someone at a bar, what would u want them to know about u over 1 drink? fun, interesting, honest, flirty. not too much, not too little.

;)

Kill the list... kill it with fire. :rofl:

As others have said, having a list of expectations is kinda demanding for someone who is in no place to make demands at all. Instead, tell people about what you like to do... about who you are. If you meet someone who isn't "Your perfect woman" you may be pleasantly surprised.

And btw, even IF you have all the same exact interests, there's a strong chance that you'll either have a different "take" on them, OR be competitive about them. ;)

How boring to partner up with someone whose interests are all the same...interests that complement each other or don't interfere with your own or at least that you
can tolerate, live with, that's reality, and a more interesting life. When you learn from each other's differences, you each become more than you were to start with.

Resumes rarely work in relationships. I've been married for 20+ years and he bestows few of the attributes I'd put on a wish list. And I am far from what he would have described as his ideal mate back in the day. And yet, he is my best friend and we are both better humans for being in each other's lives. My heart has been broken by "my type" far more times than I care to count.

Just talk about who you are and let the chips fall where they may. You may just get someone beyond your imagination.

I would just summarize it up to say 'no junkies, thieves, or idiots'. Then just let the chips land where they will. IMO you will never find that 'perfect' one and you really shouldnt strive for it. Everyone has their faults and quirks which makes them unique. As long as you two mesh regardless of likes and dislikes, go for it. Things change in life so what you two might disagree on now, you might both agree on later in life.

Ok, so here goes try number 2.


I love all animals. I have 2 dogs, 7 snakes and do reptile shows with them. Love being creative and building things. I am very active. Love being out in nature and hiking, kayaking, and camping. I enjoy good, open, and honest communication. I put love first and want to be appreciated and loved. I am far from perfect and know you will not be as well. Just want to hold your hand as we walk life's adventures together. Walk with me?

Better?

Better.

See, now you sound like a sweetheart.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Ok, so here goes try number 2.


I love all animals. I have 2 dogs, 7 snakes and do reptile shows with them. Love being creative and building things. I am very active. Love being out in nature and hiking, kayaking, and camping. I enjoy good, open, and honest communication. I put love first and want to be appreciated and loved. I am far from perfect and know you will not be as well. Just want to hold your hand as we walk life's adventures together. Walk with me?

Better?

---

MUCH BETTER! :gj: This way you've let prospective partners know about YOUR interests...it's up to them to be open to them or not.

Don't feel too bad about the first attempts...I think there's a lot of ppl in online dating who make similar mistakes, shopping for a mate that matches their list...and
many of them just keep looking & replacing, looking & replacing...because new profiles show up that "sound perfect", lol. (they aren't, they just knew what to claim)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hilabeans

See, now you sound like a sweetheart.

---

Thanks.

Personally, I think it’s great that you know what you want, and aren’t afraid to be forthcoming about it. I would be very interested in getting to know you better, and I meet your criteria.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

lol i think he should keep all of it. Mr. Sky is just being himself.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lizardess

Personally, I think it’s great that you know what you want, and aren’t afraid to be forthcoming about it. I would be very interested in getting to know you better, and I meet your criteria.

---

well looky that Mr. Sky. glad to introduce u two. u may thank me later.

;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Ok, so here goes try number 2.


I love all animals. I have 2 dogs, 7 snakes and do reptile shows with them. Love being creative and building things. I am very active. Love being out in nature and hiking, kayaking, and camping. I enjoy good, open, and honest communication. I put love first and want to be appreciated and loved. I am far from perfect and know you will not be as well. Just want to hold your hand as we walk life's adventures together. Walk with me?

Better?

---

Went from Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jackal great improvement best wishes at finding a wonderful lady to spend time with:gj:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by C.Marie

Went from Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jackal great improvement best wishes at finding a wonderful lady to spend time with:gj:

---

I think you meant "Dr. Jekyll"? A jackal is a long-legged wild dog, and it's not usually a compliment...:D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

well looky that Mr. Sky. glad to introduce u two. u may thank me later.

;)

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Thank you Ax01! 😁

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bogertophis

I think you meant "Dr. Jekyll"? A jackal is a long-legged wild dog, and it's not usually a compliment...:D

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:rofl::rofl: thanks for pointing that out one more reason typing a message and playing with your cat doesn't mix well:rofl::rofl: my bad ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by C.Marie

:rofl::rofl: thanks for pointing that out one more reason typing a message and playing with your cat doesn't mix well:rofl::rofl: my bad ;)

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Quite alright, you gave me a good laugh! My apology to the OP for sliding off-topic, but thought it best to save your reputation. ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bogertophis

Quite alright, you gave me a good laugh! My apology to the OP for sliding off-topic, but thought it best to save your reputation. ;)

---

I truly appreciate it boy were my checks red when you pointed it out :rofl: never hesitate to point out my error better to correct myself than everyone think I am foolish. ;) Sorry to the OP I tan Churches tail but it's too darn cute:D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

well looky that Mr. Sky. glad to introduce u two. u may thank me later.

;)

---

OMG!!! We should totally have a bp.net dating forum where all our single & ready to mingle members can shout-out their profiles. And then if any get married we are all automatically invited.

I'm rootin' for you Sky & Lizardless ;)

Well since it seems Sky met someone, i might as well throw my bio out there. I am looking for a rich woman that likes reptiles and will fund me while i fill up a room with reptiles and start breeding!! I'm easy to get along with and am an awesome listener when I'm sleeping :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by C.Marie

Went from Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jackal great improvement best wishes at finding a wonderful lady to spend time with:gj:

---

So instead of being a monster I am a mad scientist with an adiction that experiments on myself? Hmmmmm.... not sure if that is a complement or not? LOL. Someone already pointed out the spelling error.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hilabeans

OMG!!! We should totally have a bp.net dating forum where all our single & ready to mingle members can shout-out their profiles. And then if any get married we are all automatically invited.

I'm rootin' for you Sky & Lizardless ;)

---

That way all the scammers can join us here and try to steal our personal info or ask us for money? No thanks.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sauzo

Well since it seems Sky met someone, i might as well throw my bio out there. I am looking for a rich woman that likes reptiles and will fund me while i fill up a room with reptiles and start breeding!! I'm easy to get along with and am an awesome listener when I'm sleeping :D

---

Why do I have the feeling this thread is going sideways quickly? :):P:D:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Why do I have the feeling this thread is going sideways quickly? :):P:D:rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Wha? My bio is a masterpiece. I would think the ladies would be beating down my door for some Sauzo......but its not happening...yet :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sauzo

Wha? My bio is a masterpiece. I would think the ladies would be beating down my door for some Sauzo......but its not happening...yet :D

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LOL.... go for it. Be careful what you wish for. You might wind up with something you don't want? LOL. :D:O:confusd::O:D:oops:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

LOL.... go for it. Be careful what you wish for. You might wind up with something you don't want? LOL. :D:O:confusd::O:D:oops:

---

Haha...are you offering to beat down my door?? :P If you are rich and fit my criteria, we could probably make it work but there will be no hanky panky....but i might give you a peck on the cheek here and there :D

Hardly. LOL.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sauzo

Haha...are you offering to beat down my door?? :P If you are rich and fit my criteria, we could probably make it work but there will be no hanky panky....but i might give you a peck on the cheek here and there :D

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

well looky that Mr. Sky. glad to introduce u two. u may thank me later.

;)

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hilabeans

OMG!!! We should totally have a bp.net dating forum where all our single & ready to mingle members can shout-out their profiles. And then if any get married we are all automatically invited.

I'm rootin' for you Sky & Lizardless ;)

---

totally! actually there is a subforum for that here: https://ball-pythons.net/forums/foru...Scale-s-Lounge

see:
https://ball-pythons.net/forums/cach...om/q1NIYpV.png

let's finda match for taytaytaylorrr!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hilabeans

OMG!!! We should totally have a bp.net dating forum where all our single & ready to mingle members can shout-out their profiles. And then if any get married we are all automatically invited.

I'm rootin' for you Sky & Lizardless ;)

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

That way all the scammers can join us here and try to steal our personal info or ask us for money? No thanks.

---

come one man. u put up this whole thread w/ 2 profiles. are u being hit up w/ scams or spam? lighten up.

I only have one account here. This is it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

totally! actually there is a subforum for that here: https://ball-pythons.net/forums/foru...Scale-s-Lounge

see:
https://ball-pythons.net/forums/cach...om/q1NIYpV.png

let's finda match for taytaytaylorrr!!




come one man. u put up this whole thread w/ 2 profiles. are u being hit up w/ scams or spam? lighten up.

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

let's finda match for taytaytaylorrr!!

---

:8:
:rofl:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

I only have one account here. This is it.

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i was referring to these two dating profile descriptions u put up:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

At this point I have emptied all the negative people from my life. Been a few months of being alone. Just me and my animals. I was sitting down and thinking about getting on a dating app and looking at what to put in the "About me section". Here is what I am thinking.


If I could design the perfect woman for me here are the things I would look for.

1. Honest- I am very honest and want someone that is honest as well. Sure there are times you have to be gentle but always be honest.
2. Creative- I paint, build things, play music, and apply creativity in all that I do. Would like someone who likes the same.
3. Open communication- If you can't talk about it you should not do it. I can and will talk about anything. Give an honest opinion and would like the same.
4. Love for animals and people around you- Everyone deserves respect and that applies to animals as well. I have several snakes and 2 dogs. Must love snakes. Sure they deserve respect for what they are but my animals are my kids.
5. Intelligent conversation- I am intelligent and can talk about almost anything and willing to talk about almost anything.
6. Healthy and active- I am active. I hike, boat, kayak, and am on the move a lot. If you have serous health problems that limit mobility, you might not be happy trying to keep up.
7. Life ambition- I am all about family pulling together to make life better. NO this is not about money but you should have some direction in life. I am not a sugar daddy, and will not be a bank account for anyone.
8. Taking it slow and steady- We have a lifetime to get to know each other. Lets enjoy the adventure. No you are not moving in with me unless we are in a serous relationship for a few years. No I will not marry you till we have been together for years. Yes I will work towards these things in good time with the right person.
9. Positive attitude- Life is great! So much to explore and things to do. Join me!
10. STD free!- I have kept myself safe through testing and want to stay that way. I am not hating on anyone who has a STD. People with STDs are people also and deserve love. Sure how you got it might not be your fought. Is a life choice for me.

I understand that as we age together life will happen and in a serous relationship will be by your side loving you all the way regardless of what life throws at us. I am dependable and steady as a rock. I expect the same. Love first and above all else.

I am open to suggestions to help me revamp this some. LOL. Do you see anything that is negative or harsh? Does any of it need reworded or eliminated? Open to suggestions to anything that might need to be added.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions.

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Ok, so here goes try number 2.


I love all animals. I have 2 dogs, 7 snakes and do reptile shows with them. Love being creative and building things. I am very active. Love being out in nature and hiking, kayaking, and camping. I enjoy good, open, and honest communication. I put love first and want to be appreciated and loved. I am far from perfect and know you will not be as well. Just want to hold your hand as we walk life's adventures together. Walk with me?

Better?

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

let's finda match for taytaytaylorrr!!

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tttaylorrr

:8:
:rofl:

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:gj:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

That way all the scammers can join us here and try to steal our personal info or ask us for money? No thanks.

---

Ugh, quit being dramatic.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

totally! actually there is a subforum for that here: https://ball-pythons.net/forums/foru...Scale-s-Lounge

see:
https://ball-pythons.net/forums/cach...om/q1NIYpV.png

let's finda match for taytaytaylorrr!!

---

Yay, she's way funner than Skywetblanket!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tttaylorrr

:8:
:rofl:

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Come on, let's find you Mr. Right!