I'm conflicted...

As the title says, I'm conflicted. As many of you know, I'm planning my next addition. I've officially ruled out boas for at least a while. So I pretty much had my mind made up that I was going with a carpet next.
Here's where I've become conflicted...While handling some adult carpets at the Expo last weekend I could see that my girlfriend was a little uncomfortable. She's been super cool and supportive of me keeping snakes despite the fact that she was pretty much afraid of snakes before I came along.
There's just something about python and boa heads that makes her a bit uneasy. She absolutely adores Cosmo (hognose) and loves Django (King) despite him tagging her a while back. She likes the uniformity of the colubrids heads and bodies. There's just something about python and boa heads she doesn't like. That being said, she's made several comments lately about Tyson (BP) and how he's grown on her. She's still warming up to Juice (Borneo STP), but she's comfortable with him because she's so chill and slow-moving.

Soooooo, I'm actually thinking I might stay within her comfort range and add another BP or another STP. I think the size of the adult carpets combined with how active they are makes her a bit squeamish. So I'm thinking a carpet may be a ways out and may be my "final" snake when that time comes. The way I see it, she's the love of my life and comes before the snakes (she was here first, hahhaha), so why not find a happy medium? I still get to keep snakes, and there are some really awesome species that don't make her nervous, so I'm thinking I'll stick to what she's comfortable with. I still get to add new snakes, she stays within her comfort level. Win - win, right??

This is more of me venting than a question, but I'd be happy to hear some of your thoughts.
Thanks for reading. I look forward to some of your thoughts.

Wise move on your part....and considerate. Don't mess it up now by rushing things.

I'm gonna be honest and say you should add a smaller boa and grow with it. They are typically super docile and not as jumpy and are voracious feeders. If you get one that has a bit of handling experience and isn't a true hatchling, there's very little to worry about. They are also very hardy. As far as size goes, you obviously don't mind since you already have a STP!

Carpets can sometimes be a handful and sometimes move a lot. My boy really doesn't care for being handled and moves so much so it makes my girlfriend very nervous. I've heard some of quick-to-defense carpets, but mine is just vocal and prefers running from me instead.

You already know what you're getting into with a STP and BP, so I won't comment other than I started with BPs and will not be buying anymore solely based on the lack of how little they 'do'.

My $0.02. :D

I’ve been with my wife for twenty years. When we were together the first couple years she really fell in love with my snakes. I told her I always wanted to go further with my pets, she thought more snakes. Turns out I wanted tarantula’s. We ended up with like six and three scorpions. She kinda liked the scorpions, not so crazy about the spiders. I ended up getting hurt at work pretty bad and needed someone to take care of my collection. She was willing, she tried, it wasn’t fair at all to her. Long story short, spiders went to the swap the very next weekend. Even now I’m kinda contemplating getting rid of one of my boys for health reasons. If she’s the one, I’d really consider it from her point of view. Hope this helps a bit. You have such a beautiful diverse collection now, sure there is something out there for both of you. Good luck :)

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Originally Posted by Sonny1318

If she’s the one, I’d really consider it from her point of view. Hope this helps a bit. You have such a beautiful diverse collection now, sure there is something out there for both of you. Good luck :)

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Thanks so much! This is pretty much where my head is at.
I absolutely love variety, so wanted to venture into different species. But, thanks to all the morphs out there, I can have variety within species she's comfortable with. If I were ever to be injured and needed help, she'd most likely be ok changing water and feeding everything currently in the collection. So, thinking long term and thinking from another point of view, I feel it may be best for all involved to stick to what I've got, just more of them :D

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Originally Posted by PiperPython

As far as size goes, you obviously don't mind since you already have a STP!

You already know what you're getting into with a STP and BP, so I won't comment other than I started with BPs and will not be buying anymore solely based on the lack of how little they 'do'.

My $0.02. :D

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Thanks for your $0.02! Oddly enough, she's not as bothered by the girth of an STP as she is by the length of other species. Length (over 5 or 6 feet) + girth combined is what she sees in her mind whenever I mention boa. She's simply not there yet, and in not going to rick the boat, especially since I have so many other options.

I think over time I'll educate her a bit more on carpets and feel it out somewhere down the road.

As for "how little they 'do'" in regards to BPs, I'm actually ok with it, which makes another BP an option.

Anyway, thanks for chiming in, I appreciate your time and thoughts. I haven't made any decisions yet, but the scales are tipping in a different direction these days.

Your girlfriend sounds like my husband :O, fine with slender body snakes, heavier body not so much.

What you should do is get a smaller species of carpet if carpet are really what you want (IJ or Darwin) and get an hatchling, as it will grow up she will slowly get comfortable with it.

Just remember because you are in a relationship that does not mean you must have everything in common or like each other's hobby (my husband does not like snakeS all that much yet there are 60+ in my permanent collection and 100 to 200 babies each year. *EDIT: He does like one a honduran milksnake ;))

I agree, the status of the home is way more important than getting a particular species. I also have to think within reason, as my girlfriend is not the biggest fan of snakes and also prefers ball pythons. She will not handle my white-lipped pythons or my green tree pythons - but I offset that by getting her a couple ball pythons.

She was also put off by large snakes, and to her blood pythons are worse than boas and does not care for mine at all. She is coming around with the boas, we only have 1 adult boa so she's still going to have to get used to the size.

Maybe a Dumeril's boa would be a good compromise as a male won't get larger than an STP. Though if the shape of the head is sort of off-putting to her, their heads look way more intimidating than your average BI. Either way, keeping her happy will keep you happy, so trust your heart and your instinct.

Between the two, another STP would be my choice :) I want one of each so a brongersmai and curtus are somewhere on my list.

Instead of adding right now, why not work on increasing her experience with larger pythons. Babies to adults. Let her warm up to the idea. Just a suggestion. Great you two are doing well.

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Originally Posted by Deborah

Your girlfriend sounds like my husband :O, fine with slender body snakes, heavier body not so much.

What you should do is get a smaller species of carpet if carpet are really what you want (IJ or Darwin) and get an hatchling, as it will grow up she will slowly get comfortable with it.

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Yeah, I looked at a few Irian Jaya carpets, that's probably where I'll land if I go that route. I do love the Bredlis though, hahahaha.

My husband was actually TERRIFIED of snakes....all sizes, didn’t matter. It took him almost two years to finally let me get Ramsey and then shortly after Anubis (Boa) so here we are almost at two years later and just a few months ago he felt comfortable finally holding my biggest (Ramsey) now he is willing to hold Anubis at anytime (She was the first snakes he ever held at a whopping 175 grams) she’s now almost 500g and over 3ft. He knows how large she’s going to get but through the time and consistently handling her as she grows, it’s become easier as an adaptation to the realization of how big she’s going to get. It truly depends of the individual and their comfort level and confidence and willingness to adapt/acceptance imo.


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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Instead of adding right now, why not work on increasing her experience with larger pythons. Babies to adults. Let her warm up to the idea. Just a suggestion. Great you two are doing well.

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I've considered that, but I'm thinking I can add soon while educating her moving forward. I'm "itching" for something new, but not "jonesing" yet, so I doubt anything will be happening real soon anyhow.
Thanks!! :D

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Originally Posted by Aerries

My husband was actually TERRIFIED of snakes....all sizes, didn’t matter. It took him almost two years to finally let me get Ramsey and then shortly after Anubis (Boa) so here we are almost at two years later and just a few months ago he felt comfortable finally holding my biggest (Ramsey) now he is willing to hold Anubis at anytime (She was the first snakes he ever held at a whopping 175 grams) she’s now almost 500g and over 3ft. He knows how large she’s going to get but through the time and consistently handling her as she grows, it’s become easier as an adaptation to the realization of how big she’s going to get. It truly depends of the individual and their comfort level and confidence and willingness to adapt/acceptance imo.


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Thanks, man. When/if the time comes I'll definitely be starting with a juvenile so she can develop a trust while the snake grows. She's certainly showed willingness to adapt and accept, I just don't want to push too far. She's come a long way, and I'm happy she's put the majority of her fears behind her as well as grateful she's been willing to step outside her comfort zone to support me and my passion.
I'm glad your hubby has come around too! It's always more fun when you can enjoy things together!!

It's been mentioned,

I'll say it again if the carpet scene isn't good for you at the moment. Try an island boa constrictor.

You'll get a nice handling snake, something that is semi arboreal, hardy, typically always ready for food, and a smaller size. You are maybe looking at 5.5 feet for a male depending on the species/subspecies.

Boas move nice and slow usually and seem to tolerate handling well, so well for some that you'd swear they enjoy it.

These boas will have far less girth than the STP and will be equal or a little less in length.

Another option,,,, Green Tree Python. Probably not a handling dream, but smaller than the carpets and excellent for display purposes.

My wife isn't at all into the hobby, but she does glance at the cages now and then and likes the way the room is set up.

It's hard to say as I don't have a feel for the vibe you two have. If you get a baby snake, they all start off small, and boas should be grown slowly so you won't be looking at anything big 2 years form now.

Personally,,, and this is just my opinion; If you can't get the snake you think you'll really dig, don't get one with the same behaviors of the ones you own now just to have another. Wait it out and get the one you want.

Boa constrictor heads look similar to STP heads so maybe you have a chance LOL!

If it is just about the head/body discontinuity that upsets her then might I suggest thinking outside the box and looking at something like a woma python or a blackhead python? They are basically built like oversized king snakes.

Or, if you are okay with something smaller, you have the option of rosy boas or sand boas or anything in the Antaresia genus

I would also look at sand boas and Savu pythons. Both are thin-bodied snakes that stay fairly small, and they are easy to keep.

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Originally Posted by asplundii

If it is just about the head/body discontinuity that upsets her then might I suggest thinking outside the box and looking at something like a woma python or a blackhead python? They are basically built like oversized king snakes.

Or, if you are okay with something smaller, you have the option of rosy boas or sand boas or anything in the Antaresia genus

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Thanks for the reply. Womas and blackheads aren't my personal flavor, nor are rosy or sand boas. I appreciate the time and thought though. Thank you

Craig, just keep your lady happy. I drive mine nuts and I am shown a lot of patience. I have a snake habit, guitar habit, motorcycle habit, sword habit.. I have issues. Did you know guitars can actually reproduce on their own? At any rate, I know when I have pushed it too far. If I get one more guitar I'm going to end up living under a bridge somewhere. I used to raise tarantulas as well, but I gave that up because I was the only one that got any enjoyment out of them.

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Originally Posted by bcr229

I would also look at sand boas and Savu pythons. Both are thin-bodied snakes that stay fairly small, and they are easy to keep.

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Thanks! Sand boas aren't for me, but I hadn't considered a Savu. I've only heard of them mentioned a few times in passing, so know next to nothing about them.
Now I have something new to learn about :D
Thanks!

First, as you've said before; Keep your lady happy and be respectful! I know I don't need to tell you that twice.

Secondly, if she doesn't like Boas, that's fine, it's her prerogative. However, keep in mind both Male BCI's and Dwarf species, do stay much smaller than Female BCI's or BCC's.

They also tend to be very predictable and move deliberately and fairly slowly. They can have a wicked strong feeding response, but otherwise, are really docile. They also start out pretty small and you and she can grow with he/she.

Katie loves Behira now (she loves her personality and inquisitive nature), and isn't too worried about when she's 6-7FT and 15 pounds or so! She's spent the better part of year learning her and watching her grow and knows her now. It would have been another story if I brought home a 7FT female!

Anyway, just my two cents. I love Boa's, but also think #1 is the most important thing. Do the right thing by your girl.

Good luck brother and keep us in the loop.

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Originally Posted by craigafrechette

Thanks! Sand boas aren't for me, but I hadn't considered a Savu. I've only heard of them mentioned a few times in passing, so know next to nothing about them.
Now I have something new to learn about :D
Thanks!

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Savu's are fun! Think small corn/rat snake size but with python husbandry. They also grow and mature very slowly, four years to reach adulthood for males, five years for females.

I think you're very thoughtful and should remain on that track. If she is as you say, "the one" you have the rest of your life to fail or disappoint her.

Or ....... you can just take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

there's so much diversity in snakes species and morphs, there's something for everyone including your GF. if she likes the slender bodies u two can get one of the bigger Colubrids like somekinda Pituophis like a Bullsnake. or a smaller, leaner Pythons still like a Children's, Spotted or Savu; or a Dwarf/Island Boa.

either way, i look forward to seeing the new addition!

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Originally Posted by rlditmars

I think you're very thoughtful and should remain on that track. If she is as you say, "the one" you have the rest of your life to fail or disappoint her.

Or ....... you can just take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

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Hahahaha, love it!!

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Originally Posted by Ax01

there's so much diversity in snakes species and morphs, there's something for everyone including your GF. if she likes the slender bodies u two can get one of the bigger Colubrids like somekinda Pituophis like a Bullsnake. or a smaller, leaner Pythons still like a Children's, Spotted or Savu; or a Dwarf/Island Boa.

either way, i look forward to seeing the new addition!

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Thanks for the suggestions, Ax. I'm kinda digging the savus based on a quick little Google search, but I've barely scratched the surface.
I'm perfectly fine with sticking to species Katie is more comfortable with. Like you said, there's enough variety and diversity to keep me happy, while not making her uncomfortable in her own home. Maybe I didn't word that right, she'd only be uncomfortable if she was close by while I had the snake out. But, since I like to sit and watch tv with my girl while having a snake out, I might as well stick to species she's comfortable with.
So...now I have an opportunity to learn about some species I've never researched. :D

What about another type of colubrid or something similar yet different.

Scaless forms and rat snakes are so cool...

just a thought so that you get something new and diverse yet still different.

At the end of the day you both need to be happy and comfortable.

Nothing can go wrong by waiting and feeling things out. YouTube tons of stuff. Maybe go locally to any breeders or shops or another expo and wait for something to just grab you.

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Originally Posted by Phillydubs

What about another type of colubrid or something similar yet different.

Scaless forms and rat snakes are so cool...

just a thought so that you get something new and diverse yet still different.

At the end of the day you both need to be happy and comfortable.

Nothing can go wrong by waiting and feeling things out. YouTube tons of stuff. Maybe go locally to any breeders or shops or another expo and wait for something to just grab you.

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I've considered another King, or another colubrid, but it would have to really grab me.

As for scaleless, not for me. I'm just not a fan. I have no objection to people producing and/or keeping them, just not something I'm interested in.

My eyes are open, and I'm not gonna impulse buy. But, if I just happen to stumble upon something I just "gotta have" my quarantine tank is ready and waiting :D

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Originally Posted by craigafrechette

I've considered another King, or another colubrid, but it would have to really grab me.

As for scaleless, not for me. I'm just not a fan. I have no objection to people producing and/or keeping them, just not something I'm interested in.

My eyes are open, and I'm not gonna impulse buy. But, if I just happen to stumble upon something I just "gotta have" my quarantine tank is ready and waiting :D

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I thought you were saving up for a Highway?

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Originally Posted by JodanOrNoDan

I thought you were saving up for a Highway?

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If one becomes available in my price range I'll have to jump on it. That's an exception to the rule. A highway is basically my dream BP

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Originally Posted by craigafrechette

I've considered another King, or another colubrid, but it would have to really grab me.

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Have you looked at Arizona Mountain Kings? Really striking colors and pattern and they stay small, 3 ft or less.

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Originally Posted by craigafrechette

If one becomes available in my price range I'll have to jump on it. That's an exception to the rule. A highway is basically my dream BP

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I wad about to ask if you got another BP What would you get !

Dont rule out dwarf boas though to piggy back what another member said

as an owner of one they are very cool and diff than the standard BCI

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Originally Posted by rlditmars

Have you looked at Arizona Mountain Kings? Really striking colors and pattern and they stay small, 3 ft or less.

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They are beautiful, but if I were to add another King I'd be inclined to go MBK or a high white Cal King most likely.

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Originally Posted by Phillydubs

I wad about to ask if you got another BP What would you get !

Dont rule out dwarf boas though to piggy back what another member said

as an owner of one they are very cool and diff than the standard BCI

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Yeah, I've been drooling over highways since getting back into the hobby. But, my meager cook's paychecks don't add up too quick. There are some albinos and pieds I really dig too.

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Originally Posted by craigafrechette

They are beautiful, but if I were to add another King I'd be inclined to go MBK or a high white Cal King most likely.

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MBKs are beautiful. They remind me of an Eastern Indigo which I would love to have

If you're interested in a larger colubrid you should take a peek at Bull Snakes Craig. Kings are just a little too small for me even though I love their ferocity. Bulls are the next best thing to carpets. They have some amazing morphs and wild types and they're super easy to care for. They're hardy and mine eat like zombies unless my male gets riled up then he'll take a few months off food.
http://i.imgur.com/yVfqQW6.jpg


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