Dueling twinkies

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Originally Posted by jglass38

Adam,

Will I ever get there? I really want to know it all!! muahahahaha...

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No knowledge for you! :devilish:

-adam

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Originally Posted by Adam_Wysocki

No knowledge for you! :devilish:

-adam

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Oh well, screw it..I'll just make things up and you will all believe me...

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Originally Posted by jglass38

Oh well, screw it..I'll just make things up and you will all believe me...

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Been working for me! ;)

-adam

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Originally Posted by Adam_Wysocki

Been working for me! ;)

-adam

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Ok then.

People, don't forget that your Ball Pythons should get at least 3 Oreos daily. This will help to stabilize their Nabisco levels and keep them healthy!!

:eek: Oh no the disease is spreading! Quick get them in quarantine! :neener:

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Originally Posted by tigerlily

:eek: Oh no the disease is spreading! Quick get them in quarantine! :neener:

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It sure is...

But Jamie my ball pythons are non-Oreo eating! Would it be fine if I fed them say mouse stuffed twinkies as I really do feel the combination of chocolate, white filling (what the heck is actually in the white stuff inside a twinkie????) and a nice mouse tucked in there, truly fill all the chocolate/meat/unknown white stuff requirements of your average royal.


Please answer ASAP!


~~Jo~~

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

But Jamie my ball pythons are non-Oreo eating! Would it be fine if I fed them say mouse stuffed twinkies as I really do feel the combination of chocolate, white filling (what the heck is actually in the white stuff inside a twinkie????) and a nice mouse tucked in there, truly fill all the chocolate/meat/unknown white stuff requirements of your average royal.


Please answer ASAP!


~~Jo~~

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In my EXPERT opinion (I know snack foods better than anyone!), I don't believe that twinkies whether mouse stuffed or otherwise will do nothing to stabilize said Nabisco levels. You might try Ring Dings or possibly Ho-Hos for further success. Thank you and please let me know if I can answer any more questions in the future.

Best regards,

Jamie Glass
"knower of all things snack food and snake related"

NEWBZ

Suzy-Q's ALL the way!

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Originally Posted by Smulkin

NEWBZ

Suzy-Q's ALL the way!

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Sir, I will not be schooled by an amateur like yourself on snack cakes! I challenge you to a duel!

Sirrah, thine challenge accepted granting the following stipulations:


STIPULATION the First
In the interest of fairness and quality of weaponsnacks no Little Debbie snack cakes shall be admissible due to unnaturally high Crisco content.

STIPULATION the Second
No cakes of foreign manufacture containing wasabi-like substances, habanero extracts or urtricating hairs. AS much as I adore all things spicy the snack cake arena is no place for them.

STIPULATION the Third
A maximum of THREE snack cakes will be employed lest thee skip TWO in which case thou shalt move right to FOUR.

STIPULATION the Fourth
Pop Tarts and other thusly packaged snacks which unto themselves contain multiples are to be counted individually and per contents whether "packaged for individual resale" or not


Gloves doffed and smacked about thine face in acceptance

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Originally Posted by Smulkin

Sirrah, thine challenge accepted granting the following stipulations:


STIPULATION the First
In the interest of fairness and quality of weaponsnacks no Little Debbie snack cakes shall be admissible due to unnaturally high Crisco content.

STIPULATION the Second
No cakes of foreign manufacture containing wasabi-like substances, habanero extracts or urtricating hairs. AS much as I adore all things spicy the snack cake arena is no place for them.

STIPULATION the Third
A maximum of THREE snack cakes will be employed lest thee skip TWO in which case thou shalt move right to FOUR.

STIPULATION the Fourth
Pop Tarts and other thusly packaged snacks which unto themselves contain multiples are to be counted individually and per contents whether "packaged for individual resale" or not


Gloves doffed and smacked about thine face in acceptance

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Oh, its on like Donkey Kong man! Where have you ever seen a spicy snack cake? That is just wrong on so many levels.

On another note, its been a pleasure to hijack this thread with the assistance and willing participation of the forum moderators. You should be ashamed!

I feel I, as a proper SUPER moderator, should be on hand to make sure you both play nice. Hey I may even supply said snack cakes! ;) (oh and this thread was toast way before this small little detour! :neener: ) :D

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

Please answer ASAP!


~~Jo~~

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Is this the "they don't even realize it" that you were telling me about Jo? You're BAAAAADDDDD!!!!! ;)

And how dare you guys have fun while I'm slaving away at work to bring home the bacon!!!!! :neener:

I was slaving..Kind of..Not really...Who am I kidding? I had my feet up all day!

Well Robin you noticed, bless your heart! (I'm learning to talk "southern" LOL)


Now...I've had a few husbands (don't ask), 4 hulking brothers, and am raising two sons...I know how this stuff goes! Here's my demands....

1) I am NOT cleaning up any subsequent mess made by projecticle mushy snack foods...this is NOT a "hey the new girl will get that dude!" situation!

2) If someone stuffs a twinkie up someone's nose I will not assist nor call 911 for your silly self....I will however join the ladies in a rousing laugh at your expense! Do remember snorting snack cakes may or may not be illegal in some states.

3) The mystery white stuff they pump into snack foods could in fact cause eye damage so act accordingly. If you choose not to, do remember this piece of wisdom...it's only fun till someone loses an eye! (then it's organized sport!)

I am a survivor of the Great Pumpkin Pie Fight of 1995! The nightmares still haunt me.....the carnage....the whipped cream....the cackling of granny as she nailed grandpa's bald spot from 50 paces....ohhhhhhh I need a drink to steady my nerves!


~~Jo~~

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

Well Robin you noticed, bless your heart! (I'm learning to talk "southern" LOL)


Now...I've had a few husbands (don't ask), 4 hulking brothers, and am raising two sons...I know how this stuff goes! Here's my demands....

1) I am NOT cleaning up any subsequent mess made by projecticle mushy snack foods...this is NOT a "hey the new girl will get that dude!" situation!

2) If someone stuffs a twinkie up someone's nose I will not assist nor call 911 for your silly self....I will however join the ladies in a rousing laugh at your expense! Do remember snorting snack cakes may or may not be illegal in some states.

3) The mystery white stuff they pump into snack foods could in fact cause eye damage so act accordingly. If you choose not to, do remember this piece of wisdom...it's only fun till someone loses an eye! (then it's organized sport!)

I am a survivor of the Great Pumpkin Pie Fight of 1995! The nightmares still haunt me.....the carnage....the whipped cream....the cackling of granny as she nailed grandpa's bald spot from 50 paces....ohhhhhhh I need a drink to steady my nerves!


~~Jo~~

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Lets just remember, if you choose to get involved in the snack cake challenge, you are fair game. Woman or not!

And remember, kids - don't bring a pie to a cake fight.

I come armed and delirious.

http://www.madwag.com/UNSHARD/walk_l...snack_cake.jpg

ANY objections to splitting this thread and depositing this zany latter half in off-topic?

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Originally Posted by Smulkin

ANY objections to splitting this thread and depositing this zany latter half in off-topic?

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None from me! Is it off topic though? :)

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Originally Posted by jglass38

None from me! Is it off topic though? :)

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I'd venture to say it wandered a tad.

What is this world coming to when innocent women are not safe to walk our streets for fear of roaming gangs of Ho Ho bearing thugs! Well I'm just appalled, ashamed, aghast and another other words that begin with the letter "a"!

To post a picture of Bingles! Where a child might view it! For shame Smulkin, for shame! My dear granny (the one with the killer pie aim) always said to me as a young girl at her knee..."persons of quality keep their bingles a private matter dear, now go get granny some of her "special" tonic!"


~~Joanna~~

(posting from the safety of a bunker constructed of kids's stuffed toys and miscellaneous other household junk - undisclosed location)

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Originally Posted by Smulkin

I'd venture to say it wandered a tad.

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Kind of like wandering into the lion's cage at the zoo. A tad off course and a recipe for disaster.

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

(posting from the safety of a bunker constructed of kids's stuffed toys and miscellaneous other household junk - undisclosed location)

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Nuts to this referee stuff, I'm in! Joanna if I bring the Twinkies, HoHo's, Snowballs and other assorted snack cakes can I hunker down with you? That sounds like an aweseome bunker! Kids toys are awesome for absorbing the brunt of a frontal snack cake attack. If you send me your coordinates I'll be there in no time. :shh: Let the showdown begin! :ohmygod:

Replete with Sno Balls even.

This is an evil thread though - I had not felt the yearning for a Suzy Q in the better part of a decade and now that chocolaty succubus of the snack cake world haunts my thoughts.

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Originally Posted by Smulkin

Replete with Sno Balls even.

This is an evil thread though - I had not felt the yearning for a Suzy Q in the better part of a decade and now that chocolaty succubus of the snack cake world haunts my thoughts.

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Sno Balls ROCK!! And they are perfect projectiles. The marshmallow contributes to long air time and pinpoint accuracy. Ho-Hos slice or hook when thrown and don't even get me started on ding dongs. The cream to cake ratio precludes their use as accurate weaponry.

Yeah I haven't had a snoball in YEARS! *drool* This can't be good for my hips. :(

I have a question about the eligibility of Oatmeal Creme Pies. Do those count as a cookie or a pie? Are they allowed? Can I have one now? :psychotic

pssst Christie the bunker is just east of the Little Tikes workbench, slightly behind the sandbox (have minded the area with dangerous plastic army men that hurt like holy hell if you step on them but you'd know that!). I'm the one with the crazed look in her eyes, cup of coffee spiked with you-know-what and a stockpile of snack foods (I ate the chocolate stuff tho...is this grounds for court martial?????).

I'm hunkered down in the big plastic rockship climber.

Bring supplies! I'm worried my supply line may be compromised shortly (the kids are hollering about no after school snacks....EEEEEEEEEPPPPP)


~~Private Low Class Jo~~~

I welcome the Oatmeal Cram Pies and reiterate so long as they are not the Little Debbie (99.99% CRISCO) brand they are fine and I love them.

Moon Pies however contain an alarming percentage of gluons and dark matter and using them as offensive weapons could result in formation of a spontaneous singularity and the collapse of our known galaxy.

Unroll your HoHos if you must.

I'm on my way Jo with reinforcements! I'll even bring some excellent matchbox cars to add to the mine field! Do you have the mudslides ready or should I bring those too? :ohmygod:

Thank you Christie! I believe a double agent may be on her way with some "fortifying refreshments" (it's Becky but don't let anyone else know okay)

And you Ho Ho unrolling people (that's just sick and against the Geneva Convention I think!) just keep your lil pitiful mass produced missiles....

BEWARE THE WRATH OF MY HOMEMADE SNICKERDOODLES!!!!!!!

Muuuuuuuhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


~~Jo & Friends somewhere in the wilds of a Michigan backyard play area~~

Moonpies are ridiculous! Microwave those suckers for 15 seconds..wow

Are we breaking into the homemade goods? I make a killer lemon cake and an awesome chocolate creme pie! Shoot - fortifying beverages and all this food? Skip the fight and let's eat! Anything left we'll throw. ;)

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Originally Posted by tigerlily

Are we breaking into the homemade goods? I make a killer lemon cake and an awesome chocolate creme pie! Shoot - fortifying beverages and all this food? Skip the fight and let's eat! Anything left we'll throw. ;)

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People, people..Snack cakes are the topic of discussion. While I respect you all and your baking skills, lets please leave out any mention of snickerdoodles, lemon cake, coffee cake or pecan pie. I don't want to have to say it again. If you can't play by the rules, you can't play. You don't bring a baseball to a football game (or something like that).

You are SO no fun. :neener: Fine back to the regularly scheduled snack cake fight. *sigh* :D

Hey now you GOTS to understand, chica!!!


If we opened it up to say homemeade goodies what would stop me from whipping up some . . i dunno say for example a Kahlua Satin Pie with brownie crust? Surely you can understand how that would decimate the field of honour . . .

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Kahlua Satin Pie with brownie crust

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errrrrr....*drool* I'd like to now propose a truce and an exchange of your pie for my snickerdoodles by an impartial third party *drool*

please......


~~Jo~~

(please no one mention to Smulkin that I probably make the world's worst snickerdoodles and can never unload them on anyone! LOL)

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Originally Posted by Smulkin

Hey now you GOTS to understand, chica!!!


If we opened it up to say homemeade goodies what would stop me from whipping up some . . i dunno say for example a Kahlua Satin Pie with brownie crust? Surely you can understand how that would decimate the field of honour . . .

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Honor? Your talking about stuff like that and you expect me to have honor? Are you nuts! :eek: Who cares about honor you are now my new best friend. :please:

I guess I'll have to start another thread for an all out dessert war. :rolleyes: Can't let all this good stuff go to waste! Dang I think I've gained 5 lbs just reading this thread. :doh: Where're the chocolate....I need more chocolate STAT! :D

hehehe

Like escalation of nuclear (dast say "nukular") foes - you may be on.

Kahlua does killer tiramisu too it seems - but i digest . . i mean digress.

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, people of all ages gather around because their is some snack cake fighting about to go down.... Did I hear correctly and read the rules of combat right? If so I'm in... I'm the old eastern lower downtown Honey Bun slapping Champion of 1987... Bring on the the pasteries....

HAHAHAHAHAHA ROFL HAHAHA :D

I have been following this thread, man am I hungry now! :hungry:


FK, can I join you girls in your bunker? I will also bring with my double chocolate peanut butter cake with double chocolate frosting (for us ofcourse, no sense in wasting something that good in a food fight, oh and cant forget the kahlua for our drinking refreshment)... I have a bunch of twinkies ready to be launched as missiles.... :explosion:

You are always welcome Jeanne! (do mind the plastic army men and hot wheels cars strewn around....we figure anyone sneaking up will cripple themselves before getting near us!)

Me, Becky, Christie and you....yep there's room in the plastic spaceship! Won't be room for long if we all stuff ourselves on your cake but that's just the cost of war isn't it. I can run an extension cord to the bunker for the blender....frozen mudslides for all. I'm not drinking a warm mudslide, snack food war or not, that's just nasty!


~~Jo~~

I wanna go to outer space too!

No problemo Gin dear, I'm sure we can smoosh over and make more room LOL.

I think my husband thinks I'm in outter space most of the time anyways ;)


~~Jo & Friends - Moonpie Base Alpha~~

lol
I'll bring a whole box of Fudge Rounds.. they're the best little debbie has to offer.

Oh I gotta get in on this...

of course i meant bunkering in with five females, not throwing any snacks. Throwing snacks? I didn't get to be er, um, anorexically challenged if i might go politically correct, by throwing the snack foods!

Scuse me Eddie but eating the "live rounds" is grounds for court martial in this girl's army! We may however take you in as a Private First Class Drinks Mixer.


~~Jo~~

Good idea Jo! It's always important to have someone man the blender. ;) You can handle the blender right Private First Class Drinks Mixer Eddie? :lmao: Of course you may want to watch out, we're a rowdy group. Hey Jo if the space ship gets crowded I have a lovely Clifford house we can always add on. Quick where's my mudslide. :D

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Originally Posted by tigerlily

Good idea Jo! It's always important to have someone man the blender. ;) You can handle the blender right Private First Class Drinks Mixer Eddie? :lmao: Of course you may want to watch out, we're a rowdy group. Hey Jo if the space ship gets crowded I have a lovely Clifford house we can always add on. Quick where's my mudslide. :D

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Can I play too? I can bring my "Better than Sex" cake!!!! MMMMmmmmm!!!!