Moving out...?

Don't ask me why i'm telling y'all this but,

Well, I might be moving out of my parents house later on, well, I mean i'm 18 now so? lol.

First off: My dad WANTS me to move out, I can tell by the way he acts. It would be very obvious if you knew him.

Second off: He is TERRIFIED of snakes, so, he won't let me get one. I've tried.

Third off: It's just that time.

It wouldn't be much for me to move, I mean it's not like I got furniture. lol.

I wouldn't move out if it was up to me but, it's just that time and if he wants me to move, that's what he wants, nothing much I can do.

You can give advice if you like. :)

Some advise.

Don't get in over your head. Make sure you have steady predictable income before moving out. Find a roommate. Preferably one of your friends. It really helps with costs and having a bad roommate sucks.

Make sure where you move allows cages animals so you can get a snake.

Even with a friend, make sure your roommate(s) understands their part. All expenses are shared evenly. Keep a spreadsheet to track who has paid what when and keep in post on your fridge so everyone can see. Keeps everyone honest.

Don't make a mess of the place you move in to. I'ts just good manners. And you can get your deposit back when you leave.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by MasonC2K

Some advise.

Don't get in over your head. Make sure you have steady predictable income before moving out. Find a roommate. Preferably one of your friends. It really helps with costs and having a bad roommate sucks.

Make sure where you move allows cages animals so you can get a snake.

Even with a friend, make sure your roommate(s) understands their part. All expenses are shared evenly. Keep a spreadsheet to track who has paid what when and keep in post on your fridge so everyone can see. Keeps everyone honest.

Don't make a mess of the place you move in to. I'ts just good manners. And you can get your deposit back when you leave.

Good luck.

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Thank you for some GREAT advice! :)

Do some reading before you sign a lease:
https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=95

Also, do you have a job with steady and secure enough income to enable you to live on your own and pay rent, utilities, car, car insurance, health insurance, groceries, etc.?

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Originally Posted by bcr229

Do some reading before you sign a lease:
https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=95

Also, do you have a job with steady and secure enough income to enable you to live on your own and pay rent, utilities, car, car insurance, health insurance, groceries, etc.?

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As of right now, no, I'm still trying to get a job and working on some stuff, so, it'll probably be a year before I can do it.

I lived at home till I was out of college and had a steady job for a year. That would be ideal. It would suck to get a job, immediately move out, and then lose it for whatever reason. I'd say at least 6 months so you know you're good with your employer. It also gives you time to save up money since you won't have rent and other bills to pay. Take advantage of that while you can. Don't blow all your money on video games. :).

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Originally Posted by MasonC2K

I lived at home till I was out of college and had a steady job for a year. That would be ideal. It would suck to get a job, immediately move out, and then lose it for whatever reason. I'd say at least 6 months so you know you're good with your employer. It also gives you time to save up money since you won't have rent and other bills to pay. Take advantage of that while you can. Don't blow all your money on video games. :).

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Trust me I will NOT be spending money on video games. lol I don't even really like games anyways. :D

There are actually very few parents that want their children to leave. We do however know that in order for our children to become everything they can be it is a necessary step. Sometimes a little tough love is required. Trust me, these things hurt the parent more than the child.

Roommates are a good idea, but they can be stressful depending on how it all works out. Make sure you're going to have the space that you can each have your own area to decompress if needed. Also, a lot of places will let you co-sign a lease so your roommate is held responsible for their portion of the rent and you for yours. You'll want to make sure your credit score is fairly decent - I know a lot of apartments check now, and even some individual renters will too.

If it's going to be a year, start preparing now. Start cleaning your own area and doing your own laundry (if you aren't already). That includes vacuuming and washing your bedding and bathroom and all that fun stuff. If you're able, start contributing to buying your own groceries, the things you prefer to eat over your father. You can also start by paying for your "portion" of the utilities (which might also help with your father's attitude on wanting you to leave).

Anything you can do to prepare yourself because once you're out, it's all on you.

No sugar-coating, it's going to be tough at first. I learned a TON my first couple years on my own.

Not getting in over your head is GREAT advice. Some great advice I also received was not to get a place that costs more than one week's pay. I know that's REALLY hard to do when you start out, but it's something to consider - maybe getting a place that doesn't cost more than two week's pay, which should be easier with a roommate. That way you always make sure you have residual income for utilities and food.

My own example is that I went in with 2 roommates that I knew very well from college. We split a 1600 sq ft, 3 bed/2 bath apartment that was about $900 a month. I got the master bedroom so I paid a little more in the split since I got the bigger room. I think it was something like $350 for me and $275 each for them. Everything else from power to cable was split 3 ways even. No of us had furniture other than bedroom stuff so we used my TV since it was biggest and I bought the living room furniture. One of them got a kitchen table and they kind of split getting kitchen stuff.

Funny story. The night we moved in we had a party with the people that helped us move. We didn't realize till after everyone left that none of us had shower curtains or soap. So we went to t Walmart at 3am to get it.

Oh and all 3 of us had to sign the lease. It wasn't an option. If you were living there you had to be on the lease. We I got married they had to both sign to release me from the lease.

I appreciate the advice everyone. :)

I do have a problem with roommates and that would be (right now) I have no friends.

When the time comes, rather than getting together with roommates where you all rent from one landlord - where you are all jointly responsible for the lease - look into renting a room or basement from someone who owns his own place. There is less chance of getting screwed that way by roommates who skip out on their share of the rent, you'll only be responsible for the amount for your space.

in my case, i learned that it's cheaper to cook by myself than eating out or having food delivered all the time.


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I moved out right after high school. It was definitely a learning experience. Moved back with my parents twice. When I was 19 and again at 23 or 24. I'm 33 now and married with a 7 yr old daughter. I agree with what the others posted. Be sure you have a decent reliable job before you bounce out. Having a snake won't be good if you can't pay the power bill.


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My other suggestion that may help your at home situation would be to go get a job. Your an adult now and your father probably would be a bit easier on you if you were trying to better yourself and get on with life. That's just what I've found from personal experience. My parents always appreciated it when I had a job and could slip them some cash for the extra money I cost them. Probably why they opened the door back up when I found myself in a bad spot and needed somewhere to stay temporarily.


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I told my dad that I am trying to get a job. He doesn't understand that I also have social anxiety and it's kinda hard for me to do anything but i'm trying, that's all that matters, right?

Are you introverted by chance?

I think so. Why? As in shy and all?

I agree with others that it would be best for you to get a job and start contributing while you are still with your parents. Paying them something to help cover utilities and showing that you are starting to "act like an adult" will help matters. Every parent wants their child to become an independent adult and when they don't see signs, they get worried (which could be the case with your dad). Getting a job and taking more responsibility at home (doing your laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc.) will help. It may also help to offer to do home chores, etc. until you can start chipping in on utilities, food, etc.

If you've never had a job before, it may be easiest to get a position in retail. If you are not comfortable talking a lot with people, try seeking a position like a stocker at a grocery store or other retail.. Stockers do have to interact with bosses and maybe say "hello" to customers every once in a a while, but it is not as much interaction as being a front desk worker or cashier. Being a bag boy at a grocery store would also be a good first step.. some polite social interaction, but you're mainly bagging up food and taking it to peoples' cars. Here, we have a grocery store chain called Publix. They have a very good track record of treating employees well, promoting good workers, etc.

Are you currently going to college? If so, take a public communications class.. I hated talking to people but eventually, after taking my comms class and then doing education classes (which made me talk in front of my peers) I got better over time. Social skills and talk in public are things you just have to practice to get better at.

Also, if you have any special interests or areas that you know a lot about or like talking about, you may be able to find a retail position that is related to those; which would make you feel more comfortable talking to others about the products, etc.

If you don't know much about personal finance (bank accounts, taxes, etc.) do some research online... see what average cost of living is in your area.. How much apartments cost, utilities, etc. I would think that starting out, you would need to get a roommate situation. Where I live, unless you are making ~$25,000 a year or more, you probably would need roommates... Back when I was working part-time and only making ~$13,000 a year, I had to have 2 roommates and even then it was pushing it to have enough $$ for my needs. All areas are different though and cost of living will vary.

For now, I wouldn't worry about that, just take baby steps and fill out some job applications and go to some interviews. Even if you are nervous, just present yourself as best as you can and be honest. Some business will give you a chance and after that, it's all up to you to make the best impression you can as a good employee. Most places will notice if you work hard and do a good job.. They will promote people that are good workers and give you good references, which are very important in the long run. That first job may not pay you enough to move out of your parents' house right away, but it may lead to a job that does. :)

You should wait till you get your own place that will allow you to have a pet snake. Nothing like buying one then moving and have to sell it because you can't have it. I've wanted one for years. Just waited till I knew I could have one and take care of it. I can now and have bought 4 so far.

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Originally Posted by ZuesTheBallPython

I think so. Why? As in shy and all?

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In a way. Do you spend most of your time being quiet? Thinking internally before speaking? Participating in conversation in your mind instead of vocally? have a hard time vocalizing your intentions to others?

I ask because I am like that for the most part. Around people I know I am more open but put me in a room with a bunch of people I don't know I usually find a wall, table, or corner by myself.

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Originally Posted by MasonC2K

In a way. Do you spend most of your time being quiet? Thinking internally before speaking? Participating in conversation in your mind instead of vocally? have a hard time vocalizing your intentions to others?

I ask because I am like that for the most part. Around people I know I am more open but put me in a room with a bunch of people I don't know I usually find a wall, table, or corner by myself.

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I am always like that even before speaking to anyone online, I honestly have to ask my mom if whatever I say is alright. lol

As a more....aged....person, I will say that while at your core, introversion never fully goes away, it is truly possible to have a social like and become more comfortable in social situations.

The key can simply be one friend or colleague who isn't introverted. They can do all the introductions. Usually it's the introductions that are hard for me. Most of my coworkers don't even think of me as introverted because I have become highly opinionated.

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Originally Posted by MasonC2K

As a more....aged....person, I will say that while at your core, introversion never fully goes away, it is truly possible to have a social like and become more comfortable in social situations.

The key can simply be one friend or colleague who isn't introverted. They can do all the introductions. Usually it's the introductions that are hard for me. Most of my coworkers don't even think of me as introverted because I have become highly opinionated.

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Honestly, I have no idea what to reply, but I have my mom that normally talks for me. I didn't go to high school but I am trying to get my GED, but after the GED I am planning on going to college. :)

ZoosThe and Mason should BOTH spend a little time reading up on the traits of Aspergers ...

It may be rather enlightening ;)


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Originally Posted by Zincubus

ZoosThe and Mason should BOTH spend a little time reading up on the traits of Aspergers ...

It may be rather enlightening ;)


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Just read the symptoms list at Web MD. Definitely not me.

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Originally Posted by Zincubus

ZoosThe and Mason should BOTH spend a little time reading up on the traits of Aspergers ...

It may be rather enlightening ;)


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I guess thank you for telling me this and i'll ask my doc about it.

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Originally Posted by ZuesTheBallPython

I guess thank you for telling me this and i'll ask my doc about it.

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Na , no need to bother your doctor ... just google " Asperger traits " and check a few different links .

I'm guessing you may be pleasantly surprised - I certainly was !! :)


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Originally Posted by MasonC2K

Just read the symptoms list at Web MD. Definitely not me.

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Ok that's fine ... maybe check a few other links ??


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