Advice on convincing parent to allow a snake

What the title says. Some basic information before I go into more detail: I'm 16, and my (single) mother hates snakes.

I've done a lot of research over several months to decide if I want a snake, if I'm responsible enough to take care of a snake, and what kind of snake would be the best for me. I decided on a ball python for several reasons— They're adorable, they're very docile, and they don't get very big for a python. I'm aware that they can be more difficult to feed. Since they don't need very much room, and they are a species that I really like, they're perfect for my situation. I understand that a lot of preparation would have to happen before I could even find what snake I want to purchase. And of course I would have to save up, but I have a steady, albeit small income and some extra saved-up funds. I would rather save up for a few extra months than purchase a sickly animal. I've done my research on which morphs have issues and which ones are more likely to be healthy.

Yesterday, I approached my mother about the issue carefully and explained to her that ball pythons do not have fangs and are physically incapable of eating a person. Those are her two main snake fears, being bitten/eaten/killed by a snake. I would never own a snake that large— I'm not a professional and do not intend to ever be a professional in the reptile industry. I am only an animal lover. I told her that she would never have to see the snake, be around the snake, feed the snake, etc unless something happened to me. I explained to her that they're relatively easy to take care of, I told her the problems they have and the special treatment snakes require (for example, needing a thermostat for the snake tank). I explained that I will pay for everything, she need not give a single dime or ounce of attention to the snake.

I did everything you're supposed to do to convince a parent to let their child get a pet, and she said no. She kind of got mad at me for asking. The reasons she cited for not allowing the snake:

1. We have too many pets. 3 cats and 2 dogs. The dogs are hers, I did not purchase them and I only take care of them because I don't want them to be neglected. I do, however, completely take care of the cats. I clean their litter box, give them fresh water, and feed them. She and I both pay for the kibble, since she decided to get one of the cats and I decided to get the other two. They are essentially my cats. Ball pythons do not take nearly as much work as these pets and the snake would never be her responsibility. I also know that if my brother asked for a hamster or lizard she wouldn't say no, because he has had both before, despite the fact that he is too young and she'd have to be the one responsible for them.
2. Snakes live "too long". That's a pro for me. I love my animals like family and am actually quite upset that they don't live longer. I don't understand how it could be a con to her that a pet would live a long time. I would of course take the snake with me when I move out, which will most likely be sooner than later.
3. It would attack the other pets?? Obviously this would not happen. I told her all the reasons why that would never happen. In fact, I'd be more concerned about the other pets attacking the snake, which also wouldn't happen because I wouldn't allow them to interact with each other.
4. She doesn't want rats in her freezer. Which is perfectly understandable, but I'm capable of purchasing my own freezer. If she didn't want it in the garage, where her extra freezer is, I'm sure I could move around the furniture in my room to have space.


As you can see, logically she has no reason for me to not have a snake. It seems to me that she just doesn't want me to have one— But she's given me no actual reasons. If she gave me an actually good reason, I'd eagerly back off. But it seems she's just making excuses.

Do any of you snake owners have advice? If you were in my shoes, what would you do? If you have been in my shoes, what did you do, and did it fail or succeed? Do you see something I'm missing as to why it wouldn't be a good idea for me to have a snake, or is my mother just beyond convincing?

Thank you for your time. :^)

I would tell her that you would get an enclosure with a locking lid so there's no way that the snake could get out. A full grown ball python couldn't even take down a cat so she wouldn't have to worry about the pets. Besides, if the ball python were to escape, it would be the one in danger from your other pets!

Ball pythons are SUPER easy to take care of if you have done your research (you clearly have). It literally takes me about 5 minutes each day to take care of my single ball python. Remind her that you will absolutely take the snake with you when you move out. Another good thing about ball pythons is that they are nocturnal so she probably wouldn't see it during the day.

When you are trying to convince her, remain calm even if you get frustrated. Show her how responsible you are by continuing to take good care of your cats and dogs without complaining. Lastly, if she is dead-set on not having a snake in her house, please respect her decision. It may not seem fair but it's her house so it's her rules. Worst situation you have to wait until you move out to get your snake. I'm almost 22 and recently got my first ball python. Totally worth the wait! Good luck and awesome job on your research! :gj:

What Kira said! :sweeet:

You did everything you should have, but end of the day its her house and her rules. Respect her decision regardless of how you feel about it, keep doing research and save up for when you move out.

I like that you have done your research, very admirable, especially at your age. :gj:

However, it is HER house, you are HER child and until you have your own place you need to abide by HER rules.

You mentioned that you would probably be moving out sooner than later. That, combined with the life-span of a BP means it shouldn't be that hard to wait few years (ok, truth be told, I'd be anxious to get one too) until you do have your own place.

Something to consider in the meantime: I don't know your college plans, or your moving out plans or anything, but there are a LOT of places that wouldn't allow you to keep a snake there. College dorms, most apartments near colleges, and plenty of apartments and rental properties will not allow pets, exotic pets or even snakes specifically.
I had to rehome snakes when I was younger and had to move back in with my Dad for a bit. It was tough, but my options were extremely limited.

I think it's worth the wait. You seem like you'll be a great snake keeper when the time is right. If it's something you still want in a few years when you can home the snake yourself, then by all means go for it. Until then, you need to abide by and respect your mother's rules.

Oh and I forgot to write that you should mention that ball pythons don't make noise and don't stink (sometimes their poo does though). Speaking of, they only poo once every week or two so it's very easy to just spot clean the enclosure when needed.

Wait 2 more years ;)

A couple thoughts on a few different sides...

I'm a parent now so I probably understand some issues here that I would not have before becoming a parent. First of all, just generally speaking, it is tough enough being a parent and trying to raise kids, manage a household, work, etc... So she deserves credit for doing a great job and also some leeway if she is not seeing things the way you are. She might just be thinking she has enough on her plate and the risk of something throwing daily life and routine off track is just not worth it. Especially for an animal she is not inclined to like.

So, first thing is to emphasize how easy snakes are to keep once you have the proper set up. You have done your research, you will probably be excellent at maintaining a happy snake. As a parent, I was not willing to add another mouth to our household 6 months ago but when I researched and realized how a snake would likely not negatively impact our daily routine I gave my daughter the green light.

Second, please think about the impact of taking a snake with you upon graduating from high school. I would not have purchased a snake if I was renting an apt. or home. Dealing with landlords and their approval or the thought of moving everything would have been a deal breaker.

Even in college, alot of friends got dogs as soon as they moved out of their dorms and then they could only rent from certain places or had to pay extra in rent or deposits and it was always an excuse to not get a good chunk of deposits back when they moved. Seriously, you will need to hold onto all the dollars you can over the next 10 years, at least, and you will hopefully have lots of new and unexpected opportunities come your way.

After college in Tallahassee I took a job in Atlanta and after two years received a job offer of a lifetime and moved to Manhattan. Apparently, you cannot have a python in Manhattan. So what would I have done if I had a BP then? You just don't know where life will take you and it doesn't sound like you can send your snake back to your mom like alot of kids did in college when they realized owning a dog was problematic.

Good luck to you either way it works out!

If you do want to go ahead and try to convince your mum, remember that there will also be electricity costs. my boyfriend was 19 and myself 18 when we got our girl, and one way we convinced his mum to let us have a snake was by paying extra electricity bills. The rules are we have to keep the snake in our room at all times, and we also own our own mini freezer. We pay for all of her food, care, vet bills etc. Vet bills are a big point as well; I don't know your financial situation, but will you be able to shell out possibly hundreds of dollars if your snake needs sudden care? Or will that fall on your mother?

Personally, I think that the best way for you to go about this is to borrow book/do research to help convince your mother that not all snakes are bad. For my boyfriend's mother, this took us about a year. The first time we asked she straight up said no, and so we did our research and presented it to her. Over time she gave in.

Best of luck to you!

Hey! I felt totally identified, my parents didn't wanted a snake on their house, and never was one LOL. But if you have 2 dogs and 3 cats you are more than prepared for a ball when the day come.

Anyway, when you get your place it is more than likely that you'll understand the saying "my house my rules". I would suggest you enjoy your pets for now, 5 are more than enough IMO. The day will come, don't worry.

This is more for you than for your mom, unlike many other pets where the pet is THE great investment and the extras are really cheap I would say it's the oposite for balls, where the animal is rather cheap (most cases) but the extras to keep them properly are really expensive. Just a heads up.

And about the freezer, even it's my freezer in my house and there is no one to tell me what to do, I don't like that either, I simply go to the pet shop every Sunday and get a single mouse she will eat that same day. And it haven't happened, but if she wouldn't take it I would throw it away, no feeders on my freezer [emoji51].


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1/ You already approached her she said no, respect her wish.
2/ You turn 18 get a job, move out, get a place, get a snake.

Not everyone wants snakes in their house my parents never did and I survived, they probably actually did me a favor by saying no because when I left my house at 18 I started to travel and live in different countries (not something you do if you have animals especially snakes).

Years later when I finally settled down I bought one snake than 2 and now there are 2 snake rooms in my house and I breed several species of snakes.

Bottom line passion does not die, if you want a snake now, you will in 2,10 or even 20 years.

Snake require long commitment, enjoy the life of a 16 years old, then go to college, travel etc ......everything will fall into place when you finally settle down.

hello from a fellow 16 y/o!

i can relate to your situation, however it seems your mother may be set on saying no. if she truly does not want you to have a snake, then there's not much that can be done except for waiting until your ready to move out. i got my first baby, eclair, at 14, it was difficult to convince my mother into getting her, especially verbally, although what i did to really turn her around was that i went to physically SEE eclair, aswell as hold her, just to really drive the point i was trying to make home.

while im not saying it was a good idea, it was just something i had done to get her!

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Originally Posted by Booper

If you do want to go ahead and try to convince your mum, remember that there will also be electricity costs. my boyfriend was 19 and myself 18 when we got our girl, and one way we convinced his mum to let us have a snake was by paying extra electricity bills. The rules are we have to keep the snake in our room at all times, and we also own our own mini freezer. We pay for all of her food, care, vet bills etc. Vet bills are a big point as well; I don't know your financial situation, but will you be able to shell out possibly hundreds of dollars if your snake needs sudden care? Or will that fall on your mother?

Personally, I think that the best way for you to go about this is to borrow book/do research to help convince your mother that not all snakes are bad. For my boyfriend's mother, this took us about a year. The first time we asked she straight up said no, and so we did our research and presented it to her. Over time she gave in.

Best of luck to you!

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The vet bills are something I'd pay for. :^) I already pay for all the bills for the latest cat, and I chip in with the others as well. There would be no expense to her whatsoever.

I would second the taking her to see a ball python, if she's willing. Ask her if she'd be willing to meet a ball python, since I find meeting the creature does the most for helping people not be afraid. Then I would show her a young ball python, since people find the size less intimidating and are more likely to give the animal a chance to display its natural charms. Otherwise I'd second waiting till you're 18. If you end up going to college and living in any sort of apartment, rental or dorm keeping a snake may be difficult to impossible. In which case you'll have to leave it home with your mom. And if she's terrified of your snake then no one will be happy with that arrangement.
I wish you luck though :)

When I was eight years old I wanted a horse. I finally bought one when I was 22 - after I had graduated college, found a job, and was renting my own place.

If your mom says no then wait a few years until you're living on your own. In the meantime try finding some herpers near you and offer to clean snake tubs in exchange for learning about their husbandry.

Lmao! I was exactly like you! My mom wouldn't have it! So I bought a tub from Walmart and an under the tub heater with a hide and stuck the tub under my bed! My ball python loved it! He lived under my bed for a year and thrived there! Of course my mom had no knowledge of this! At one point I had a pastel, clown and butter het clown in their own tubs under my bed! I now have snake racks and a small business and I told my mom everything eventually! Lol But I always love telling people my business started from under my bed! So I always recommend the bed method to kids like you lol Just know she'll probably find out one day!


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For now, you could change the angle of your interest. Maybe field herping? Hike around with an id book for your location, and learn what's out there. Are there any zoos near you? Herp societies?

Even when I was young, I didn't want to rent. I moved out early, and bought an old house boat. (Was owner of a small franchise, and co-owner of another small business, so I had some cash.) You might also look at purchasing a trailer in a couple of years. Depends on what you want to do with your life (I would recommend starting a business, or learning a trade rather than college, but obviously, I don't know your circumstances.)

Use the time to look around at options.

I'm another one who had a long wait. My Mum was not a reptile fan and always very adamant about not having dead rats in the house (she likes my baby BP more than she thought she would, but still doesn't want to so much as hear about snake feeding time).

I first got really into reptiles when I was about 6. In the 20 years since I've been to university, got a steady job and been living in an animal-friendly house for a year that I should be able to stay in for the foreseeable future. Only just got Smaug. :snake:

Quietly carry on with your research for when the time comes, save up a bit of cash (initial setup cost can be high and you need a decent amount in the bank for emergencies) and take the opportunity while you live at home to enjoy spending time with your cats- they won't be with you nearly as long. You can get a snake in your 20s and expect to still have it in your 50s and maybe beyond if you are lucky and look after it right. Compared to that, a few years isn't much.

The knowledge that you have as secure and stable an environment as possible for your animals- that you have the time, space and income to provide for their needs, that they will be looked after if they are suddenly and expensively ill, that they will not need to be uprooted and moved around a lot due to moving house- is worth it and part of being a responsible pet owner. :)

For my part I think I got my rabbits a bit too young- they started off in my bedroom at my parents' house and had to be confined in a (large, but still) cage for most of the day while I was at work lest they chew up the furniture (which wasn't mine) or cables. I only recently feel that they have the amount of permanent roaming space I want for them (and moving house with them was a nightmare). If your family's firmly not on board, I'd strongly suggest to wait.

Now I'm not saying this was the right approach but I too found myself in your shoes as a teen and ended up slipping a 50 gallon aquarium and ball python into my room knowing my Mom never went in there. Lasted 6-7 months and I finally introduced them. Lol no she didn't make me get rid of it. Pretty risky looking back at it now but it worked in my case

I know what you're going through all too well. What I did to help my parents warm up to the idea, was I took them to the local petland to see a variety of snakes. We visited a few times before my mom was ready to hold one. The best thing that I can recommend is exposing your mom to snakes. Even if you take her to the zoo, at least it's a start. It also might help if you were to compare a ball python to other snakes. My father was super happy I didn't get a corn snake after holding one. Maybe pester her about it for a few months :P

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Originally Posted by Vithaxton

Lmao! I was exactly like you! My mom wouldn't have it! So I bought a tub from Walmart and an under the tub heater with a hide and stuck the tub under my bed! My ball python loved it! He lived under my bed for a year and thrived there! Of course my mom had no knowledge of this! At one point I had a pastel, clown and butter het clown in their own tubs under my bed! I now have snake racks and a small business and I told my mom everything eventually! Lol But I always love telling people my business started from under my bed! So I always recommend the bed method to kids like you lol Just know she'll probably find out one day!


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Yep that's mature people do, recommending young people to be irresponsible putting the animal in jeopardy and possibly causing issues with the seller if/when the parents find out. Good job :rolleyes:

Hopefully as the "owner of a small business" you will never have to be put in such an awkward situation when parents make their kid return the animal he got from you and want a refund.

Thank you all for responding with your input. I finally got her to actually sit down with me and discuss it, and let me tell her why I thought a snake would be a good pet. Her only argument against it that has stood up after I've talked to her is that she doesn't want to have a snake in her house. Which is something that I don't understand but will have to respect. It was really annoying me that she was making all these excuses as to why a snake wouldn't be a good pet, when I could explain away every one of her points.

Right now the answer is a solid "maybe in a while", which I can deal with. There are some things I need to do first before getting a snake would even be possible, but I asked her now because I didn't want to spend my time and energy preparing for a snake if she was never going to allow one in the first place. I appreciate you guys giving me the idea of taking her somewhere that she could properly see a pet snake, as all she's had experience with are wild bull snakes (which are pretty aggressive). She doesn't understand that not all snakes are like that. She seems a lot more receptive once I told her that a ball python would be unlikely to ever strike at me unless I was threatening it, and that the reasons they have trouble feeding is because it's difficult to get them to strike. The hard part was getting her to listen to me.

And although your stories about having secret snakes are funny to me, I'm afraid that can't happen. She's very... nosy, I guess you could say. She'd probably hate me forever if she found I disrespected her wishes. Her house is also quite small and there's not really any room for me to secretly keep a snake, and since I'm under 18 she has access to all of my bank statements.

Again, thank you for giving me some advice, I appreciate all of it. :^)

I applaud the fact you didn't listen to the people telling you to hide it in your room. Good on you for handling the situation and your mother's rules respectfully.

I think you handled that well. You gave it a good effort, but in the end you're respecting your mother's wishes.

Trust me, time flies. Before you know it you'll be on your own in this big, amazing world. If you still want a snake in a few years once you have your own place, then maybe the time will be right. Once you have the place to keep a snake, and the resources to buy/maintain the animal and it's enclosure/setup plus a little extra put aside for the surprise vet bill you'll make a great snake keeper.

I hope you stick around the forum in the meantime, there are some great people on here and plenty of great information and learning material. Just because you can't have a snake yet doesn't mean you can't learn until then.

Lastly, great job shooting down the advice of the "adults" on here trying to advise you to sneak the animal into your mother's home against her wishes. These are the people whose advice you should simply disregard, they clearly aren't here to help you or any potential animals you choose to keep (when the time is right).
You've already showed you're more mature than them. Keep doing what you're doing, you'll make a great snake keeper one day! :gj:

Good choice! Much better then I did as a teen.

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Originally Posted by debrisofamemory

Maybe pester her about it for a few months :P

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HAHAHA!!!!! [emoji23]I hope my kids never get this kind of advice, for their own good LOL!!!



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Originally Posted by Linkin

Thank you all for responding with your input. I finally got her to actually sit down with me and discuss it, and let me tell her why I thought a snake would be a good pet. Her only argument against it that has stood up after I've talked to her is that she doesn't want to have a snake in her house. Which is something that I don't understand but will have to respect. It was really annoying me that she was making all these excuses as to why a snake wouldn't be a good pet, when I could explain away every one of her points.

Right now the answer is a solid "maybe in a while", which I can deal with. There are some things I need to do first before getting a snake would even be possible, but I asked her now because I didn't want to spend my time and energy preparing for a snake if she was never going to allow one in the first place. I appreciate you guys giving me the idea of taking her somewhere that she could properly see a pet snake, as all she's had experience with are wild bull snakes (which are pretty aggressive). She doesn't understand that not all snakes are like that. She seems a lot more receptive once I told her that a ball python would be unlikely to ever strike at me unless I was threatening it, and that the reasons they have trouble feeding is because it's difficult to get them to strike. The hard part was getting her to listen to me.

And although your stories about having secret snakes are funny to me, I'm afraid that can't happen. She's very... nosy, I guess you could say. She'd probably hate me forever if she found I disrespected her wishes. Her house is also quite small and there's not really any room for me to secretly keep a snake, and since I'm under 18 she has access to all of my bank statements.

Again, thank you for giving me some advice, I appreciate all of it. :^)

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You also learned a valuable lesson here that you might have already known. Sometimes people give reasons/excuses that are not really at the heart of why they are rejecting an idea. This comes into play when dealing with customers or in business negotiations, etc... Sometimes your ability to present new facts and information or listening to the objections properly will get you to a sale/closing of a deal or a polite follow up at a later date that also gets you to a positive outcome.

Either way, building bridges instead of burning them is a skill that will serve you well in life!