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Arguing over Feeding!!

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  • 12-18-2014, 10:03 AM
    SCWood
    Arguing over Feeding!!
    I recently switched our Normal female yearlings to f/t small rats. They take them well and have eaten them for at least the past 3 feedings which occur every two weeks. However, my mother in law went to buy the food this time and came home with several f/t mice and one small rat...I asked why and she said she was not comfortable with my feeding her snake a larger prey item.
    Keep in mind we are both first time snake owners. I have done lots of research, plus I work at a pet store with a reptile expert and am also close friends with a reptile rescuer AND a wildlife sanctuary that specializes in reptiles. I alerted everyone to the food size change and everyone thought it was awesome except her. Now, I can't feed my own snake without being lectured that I am powerfeeding and over stressing her. My manager, who has dealt in herpetology for quite a while, said she is one of the best looking snakes she's ever seen from a first time handler and to keep doing what I was doing and that yes they were ready for rats.
    My worries are that Cleo, mom's snake, likes her rats. When I fed her the mice, it took much coaxing and she seemed hesitant. She slurped them down within minutes and sat there looking at me like 'really?'. I'm worried she is underfeeding her snake. When I expressed this, she said well I will just keep underfeeding my snake and you do what you want with yours. I have invested a lot of time and love in these girls and don't want to see her snake suffer. Could anyone help me figure this out? I think she's only scared because our snakes hit some major growth spurts after starting on rats and she said she doesn't want her snake to get big...yet. She wants her snake to stay relatively small.

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  • 12-18-2014, 10:57 AM
    Rickys_Reptiles
    How large is your snake? At 1 year old most Ball Pythons should be eating small rats, but if your snake is small then they may need to eat smaller sized prey. A large adult mouse is around 30-35 grams I believe, which is small for most year old Ball Pythons. It's hard to truly respond correctly to your specific situation without knowing how large your snake is though.
  • 12-18-2014, 11:29 AM
    PitOnTheProwl
    I really wish people would learn what power feeding is.......
    Tell your mom I have females that will eat 2 or 3 mediums a week and see what she says.
    I offer to my snakes till they refuse unless they are leaving me huge poo piles, them I cut them back till they stop wasting food.
    One small rat every 2 weeks could be about right depending on the weight of the animals.
  • 12-18-2014, 11:58 AM
    EL-Ziggy
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    I say live and let live. Keep feeding your snake the appropriately sized prey items. Her snake won't starve if she's eating mice and eventually she'll realize it needs more food. You can lead a MIL to water but you can't make her drink. :)
  • 12-18-2014, 12:37 PM
    SCWood
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rickys_Reptiles View Post
    How large is your snake? At 1 year old most Ball Pythons should be eating small rats, but if your snake is small then they may need to eat smaller sized prey. A large adult mouse is around 30-35 grams I believe, which is small for most year old Ball Pythons. It's hard to truly respond correctly to your specific situation without knowing how large your snake is though.

    They are both 2ft long and 4in around. Their heads are small in comparison to their bodies but they sure do like their rats.

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  • 12-18-2014, 12:38 PM
    SCWood
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by PitOnTheProwl View Post
    I really wish people would learn what power feeding is.......
    Tell your mom I have females that will eat 2 or 3 mediums a week and see what she says.
    I offer to my snakes till they refuse unless they are leaving me huge poo piles, them I cut them back till they stop wasting food.
    One small rat every 2 weeks could be about right depending on the weight of the animals.

    She won't let me weigh them. (T_T)

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  • 12-18-2014, 12:53 PM
    PitOnTheProwl
    She wont let you....... WoW
    Weight is the main factor to go by.
    At that point I would let her fend for her own snake.
    Just make sure you keep yours healthy and happy.
  • 12-19-2014, 01:31 AM
    SCWood
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by PitOnTheProwl View Post
    She wont let you....... WoW
    Weight is the main factor to go by.
    At that point I would let her fend for her own snake.
    Just make sure you keep yours healthy and happy.

    Yes I am dead serious. She had threatened to destroy any scales I bring in. 😑

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  • 12-19-2014, 03:32 AM
    Lizardlicks
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by SCWood View Post
    Yes I am dead serious. She had threatened to destroy any scales I bring in. 

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    Wut...
  • 12-19-2014, 07:17 AM
    PitOnTheProwl
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by SCWood View Post
    Yes I am dead serious. She had threatened to destroy any scales I bring in.

    Dude I am really trying hard not to call your mother names to your face but this is probably one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.
    Why is she so against something that can help inform about the health of your snakes?
  • 12-19-2014, 09:18 AM
    SCWood
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by PitOnTheProwl View Post
    Dude I am really trying hard not to call your mother names to your face but this is probably one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.
    Why is she so against something that can help inform about the health of your snakes?

    All she cares about is that her snake stays small for as long as possible

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  • 12-19-2014, 09:28 AM
    SCWood
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by PitOnTheProwl View Post
    Dude I am really trying hard not to call your mother names to your face but this is probably one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.
    Why is she so against something that can help inform about the health of your snakes?

    She brought me a scale 😑 says it needs batteries but if it'll shut me up, whatever

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  • 12-19-2014, 12:16 PM
    Lizardlicks
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by SCWood View Post
    All she cares about is that her snake stays small for as long as possible

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    I was really torn on whether to say anything because I am new to this forum and I don't know the community very well, but I slept on it and still felt very uneasy when I woke up so I'm just gonna drop my :2cent:

    I have a large circle of friends who are former abuse survivors that talk very openly about their experiences, and the behavior your MIL is displaying is disturbingly close to classic warning signs, enough so that it set off my alarm buttons (the threatening to break things part especially). I thought maybe she was just worried that larger food would harm the snake and was perhaps over reacting, but "wanting the snake to stay small" is not even remotely close to a good reason for poor husbandry, and now I'm very worried for the animal in her care. As a keeper and animal lover, one's primary concern should be for the health of the living thing that relies on you (general you here, you-you seem to have your priorities right). If she wanted a small snake, she shouldn't have gotten a BP. If I admitted to something like not feeding my kids/dog/cats a proper diet in order to purposefully stunt their growth, they'd be rightfully taken away.

    I might just be me jumping at shadows because I've been train to be hyper aware of certain patterns, but please, look out for your snakes and look out for yourself. :please:
  • 12-19-2014, 12:20 PM
    Rickys_Reptiles
    I can't tell if this is even real anymore. I mean, really? If your mom refuses to feed your snake the proper sized food, then just go when shes not looking and feed it another small prey. And as far as scales, how does your mom watch you all the time. I'm certain you could sneak in a scale.
  • 12-19-2014, 03:24 PM
    DVirginiana
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rickys_Reptiles View Post
    I can't tell if this is even real anymore. I mean, really? If your mom refuses to feed your snake the proper sized food, then just go when shes not looking and feed it another small prey. And as far as scales, how does your mom watch you all the time. I'm certain you could sneak in a scale.

    This person sounds like they care about their snake and want to do what's best for it. No one on here except the OP knows whether those things would actually go unnoticed or not or what the repercussions of being found out would be.
  • 12-19-2014, 04:14 PM
    Mr. Misha
    I feel like this thread is a reptile version of a Jerry Springer episode..

    We're either missing a big part of this story or your mom has anger issuess. Something just doesn't make sense.

    Anyways, lead by example with feeding your snake a proper meal and hopefully your mother will follow suit.
  • 12-19-2014, 04:20 PM
    SCWood
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rickys_Reptiles View Post
    I can't tell if this is even real anymore. I mean, really? If your mom refuses to feed your snake the proper sized food, then just go when shes not looking and feed it another small prey. And as far as scales, how does your mom watch you all the time. I'm certain you could sneak in a scale.

    If she even has suspicions she tears everything apart to find it

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  • 12-19-2014, 04:22 PM
    SCWood
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mr. Misha View Post
    I feel like this thread is a reptile version of a Jerry Springer episode..

    We're either missing a big part of this story or your mom has anger issuess. Something just doesn't make sense.

    Anyways, lead by example with feeding your snake a proper meal and hopefully your mother will follow suit.

    My MIL is just super controlling I guess and isn't as well educated on snakes as she thinks. I will feed my snake my way but also take care of hers with the same respect until she understands...

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  • 12-20-2014, 11:21 AM
    SCWood
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Lizardlicks View Post
    I was really torn on whether to say anything because I am new to this forum and I don't know the community very well, but I slept on it and still felt very uneasy when I woke up so I'm just gonna drop my :2cent:

    I have a large circle of friends who are former abuse survivors that talk very openly about their experiences, and the behavior your MIL is displaying is disturbingly close to classic warning signs, enough so that it set off my alarm buttons (the threatening to break things part especially). I thought maybe she was just worried that larger food would harm the snake and was perhaps over reacting, but "wanting the snake to stay small" is not even remotely close to a good reason for poor husbandry, and now I'm very worried for the animal in her care. As a keeper and animal lover, one's primary concern should be for the health of the living thing that relies on you (general you here, you-you seem to have your priorities right). If she wanted a small snake, she shouldn't have gotten a BP. If I admitted to something like not feeding my kids/dog/cats a proper diet in order to purposefully stunt their growth, they'd be rightfully taken away.

    I might just be me jumping at shadows because I've been train to be hyper aware of certain patterns, but please, look out for your snakes and look out for yourself. [emoji14]lease:

    She also brought home a scale but it has no power cord currently. So I can't tell of she is messing with my head or not..

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  • 12-20-2014, 12:23 PM
    salt
    Feels like I'm reading something in the raised by narcissists subreddit. Good luck OP.
  • 12-22-2014, 02:20 AM
    hungba
    Basically the issue here is not about snake feeding, or snakes at all for that matter. It is that your mother in law has some serious mental illness. I would suggest a psychiatrist.

    If she is threatening to destroy things from suspecting you have a scale in the house, then I can only imagine all the other daily things which may set her off. Please make sure all your animals and family members are safe.
  • 12-22-2014, 12:45 PM
    Slip
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Me and my MIL never get along. I run the roost around here. GL OP
  • 12-28-2014, 07:59 PM
    SCWood
    Re: Arguing over Feeding!!
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rickys_Reptiles View Post
    How large is your snake? At 1 year old most Ball Pythons should be eating small rats, but if your snake is small then they may need to eat smaller sized prey. A large adult mouse is around 30-35 grams I believe, which is small for most year old Ball Pythons. It's hard to truly respond correctly to your specific situation without knowing how large your snake is though.


    Quote:

    Originally Posted by PitOnTheProwl View Post
    I really wish people would learn what power feeding is.......
    Tell your mom I have females that will eat 2 or 3 mediums a week and see what she says.
    I offer to my snakes till they refuse unless they are leaving me huge poo piles, them I cut them back till they stop wasting food.
    One small rat every 2 weeks could be about right depending on the weight of the animals.

    Here are Cleo's eating times from start to finish on mice
    http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14...16814282ff.jpg

    http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14...2fad448177.jpg

    Here is Eden's with a small rat
    http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14...80f4a7a12e.jpg

    http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14...bac7b91793.jpg

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