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My Glass Must Be Broken

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  • 06-01-2014, 03:04 AM
    wilomn
    My Glass Must Be Broken
    I have filled my glass with beer twice now. Twice I have set it down for a matter of could only be a few minutes, just long enough to build up thirst enough to make the urge to quaff strong enough to impel momentum to movement and get my big fat ass to move enough to grasp said container of wondrous elixir, only to find that in the intervening span the golden nectar once nestled so securely within is crystaline confine, had seemingly evaporated into the very ether itslef, slet, itself, yes, itself.

    I will continue my observations of this alarming phenomena for as long as I am able, but I felt duty bound to my fellow barley belters to alert them to this terrible disappearance of the blood of Mother Earth herself in hope that they too would not suffer as am I, questioning my very sanity, or sobriety, as it were.
  • 06-01-2014, 04:00 AM
    wilomn
    It's just happened again. I swear I only looked away for a few minutes and somehow the glass emptied itself. I'll try to pay closer attention next time. I didn't see a thing this time. It must be some sort of elaborate prank. How else could such vital (and close to hand) liquid, simply vanish as if it were never there to begin with? This should trouble me, I think, more than it does. I'll have to consult the bottles left in the fridge to see if they may have some clue as to the missing contents of their brothers now relieved of their sacred burden.
  • 06-01-2014, 06:52 AM
    rlditmars
    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken
    Tis a strange phenomenon indeed Brother. I have experienced it myself once or twice. Seems the only way to get through it is to keep filling the vessel. Eventually you slip into a slumber and awake to find the situation has remedied itself, until the next time.
  • 06-01-2014, 07:09 AM
    wilomn
    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken
    Sage advice, no doubt of it. I've tried again and once more than that even and still have not caught the thief. Slicker'n snot on a hot iron skillet he is. I filled her once more, for the last time tonight, with hopes of catching the vile crook who steals my liquid nutrition. Heavy though my eyelids are, I'm game to give it one more go, to see if I can see at least the sneaky pest who has so plagued my this whole night through.
  • 06-01-2014, 09:25 AM
    ChrisS
    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken
    I hope you caught this varmint as he stole the drink from my 40 last night.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • 06-01-2014, 12:29 PM
    wilomn
    I thought I saw something several times, but every time I managed to focus there was nothing there that oughtn't be. A dimensional portal may exist within the confines of the glass I was drinking out of which would explain the continual disappearance of the liquids poured within.

    I will have to put further research into this in the near future.
  • 06-04-2014, 02:10 AM
    CatandDiallo
    It was me. ;)
  • 06-04-2014, 03:18 AM
    wilomn
    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by CatandDiallo View Post
    It was me. ;)

    I know you're on the small side, but I have GOT to get my glasses checked. If my beer has to disappear, down the gullet of a pretty girl is no bad way to go.
  • 06-04-2014, 10:08 AM
    MrLang
    You're drunk, Wilomn... go home! :D
  • 06-04-2014, 11:50 AM
    CatandDiallo
    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wilomn View Post
    I know you're on the small side, but I have GOT to get my glasses checked. If my beer has to disappear, down the gullet of a pretty girl is no bad way to go.

    It's my newly acquired Gongfu skills.

    I am so sick of horrible Chinese beer (max out at a whopping 3.3% with no flavour) I just had to.
  • 06-04-2014, 03:13 PM
    wilomn
    Indeed. Well, thanks for stopping by, but next time give me a nudge and I'll join you.
  • 06-04-2014, 05:20 PM
    Mike41793
    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken
    You're not fat, this story is inaccurate. I'm writing a letter to the publisher.

    Sent from my SCH-I435 using Tapatalk
  • 06-04-2014, 06:01 PM
    wilomn
    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mike41793 View Post
    You're not fat, this story is inaccurate. I'm writing a letter to the publisher.

    Sent from my SCH-I435 using Tapatalk

    Let me know how that works out for you...
  • 06-04-2014, 08:30 PM
    Mr.Spence
    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken
    Suddenly I find myself plagued by the same issue. Must have refilled my whiskey glass 3 or 4 times already this fine evening. Oddly, every time I look down it's empty.
  • 06-04-2014, 09:01 PM
    wilomn
    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mr.Spence View Post
    Suddenly I find myself plagued by the same issue. Must have refilled my whiskey glass 3 or 4 times already this fine evening. Oddly, every time I look down it's empty.

    It's that little Canukistanian Wench. She flits in like some little butterfly and pretty and bright and soaks up a man's necessary nutrition without him even knowing. Otta be a crime, the way she does. Just goes to show you can't trust any of em.

    Note to self, no more trusting lepidopterans, no matter how cute.
  • 06-05-2014, 12:24 AM
    CatandDiallo
    http://s27.postimg.org/6c6z2nifn/butterfly.jpg

    (Oh god, I need a new hobby now that I'm out of a job)
  • 06-05-2014, 02:25 AM
    wilomn
    beerswillius canukistainiae the rare wooden legged butterfly often found near barley and oats. Seems to be moving south with the warm weather.
  • 06-05-2014, 03:17 AM
    CatandDiallo
    I already live in the subtropics where it is hot as sin! How much farther can I go!? :)

    Man, that pic is embarrassing.
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