When is it ok to expose children to live feeding ?

Hello
My son is 3 years old and shows a lot of interest in my hobby - ball pythons.
I have never exposed him to the feeding process because i don't want it to traumatize him.
My son loves all kinds of animals - cats, dogs, hamsters, rabbits and so on...
So my question is basically addressed to all the parents here:
When is it OK in your opinion to expose a child to the BP's feeding process ?
Any pointers from your own experience ?

Adi

I find that kids exposed to the circle of life early in life tend to be pretty darn well adjusted.

That said, I think you're going to have to use your own gut and judgement for your individual child.
I'm not a parent, but I help raise my sister who was born when I was 16. She's almost 4, and has seen live feeding. She's not traumatized.

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I think 3 is a little young to expose a kid to death just in general, it doesnt have to be particularly an animal eating another animal but this is on a case by case basis for sure. There are plenty of kids that are ready for that realization at 5 and there are plenty of adults which can't ever accept that reality.

I may not be the best person to answer because I am rather jaded on the topic.
But I think at 3 years old, a child is not going to associate a live feeding with death or understand the true meaning of death. They're not going to be traumatised because they don't know what's happening in my opinion.

I know 7 year olds who are fascinated with watching a snake feed. Yes, they're sad that the rat is gone, but they seem to understand enough at that age that a snake needs to eat certain things in order to live.

Maybe explain to your child verbally on how a snake eats first. If they can understand that and the process, maybe you can decided whether or not to visually show him. Perhaps start with a prekilled feeder.

But either way, I think its important to expose children to certain aspects of the process of life and death. I've noticed that truly sheltered people tend to be more ignorant, freak out, and stress more than average as young adults and adults regarding death.

Just my $.02

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there's no real blood and gore involved, so I think it wont be too traumatizing to see a mouse get swallowed whole..

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Originally Posted by satomi325

I may not be the best person to answer because I am rather jaded on the topic.
But I think at 3 years old, a child is not going to associate a live feeding with death or understand the true meaning of death. They're not going to be traumatised because they don't know what's happening in my opinion.

I know 7 year olds who are fascinated with watching a snake feed. Yes, they're sad that the rat is gone, but they seem to understand enough at that age that a snake needs to eat certain things in order to live.

Maybe explain to your child verbally on how a snake eats first. If they can understand that and the process, maybe you can decided whether or not to visually show him. Perhaps start with a prekilled feeder.

But either way, I think its important to expose children to certain aspects of the process of life and death. I've noticed that truly sheltered people tend to be more ignorant, freak out, and stress more than average as young adults and adults regarding death.

Just my $.02

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^ This, all the way. I received my first boa for my 4th birthday (obviously not the sole caretaker right away). If I loved my snake, he had to eat; nothing traumatizing about it.

I think it depends on your son. If he understands that snakes kill and eat whole prey and has seen documentaries of animals hunting in the wild and seems to be accepting of it he might be ready. If he gets very upset he might not be. You need to use your judgement as a parent.

I'm not sure what you feed your snakes but maybe start with pre-killed so he doesn't see a live animal killed. Then eventually when he understands what he's seeing he'll be ready to help feed live. That's kind of the route we will take approaching the matter when our son is old enough.

I also will stress with our son that it's important to respect the feeders and that it's not a joke that they give their lives to sustain another animal.

Good luck and props for raising a new herper :).

If you feed your kid meat they eventually figure out the animals have to die for them to eat. Hows a snake eating any different? Thats the way i see it lol.

Our culture in the US doesn't give kids enough credit, imo. They can handle a lot more than people think.

My son was exposed to feeding at 4, it didn't bother him, however he did have a lot of questions, which I happily answered. He isn't traumatized and we have switched to F/T and he feeds the snakes (with help of course). He finds it interesting and understands that everything has to eat something to survive. I think if there was a lot of blood involved there may have been an issue. I really do think it depends on the child though. When you think he is ready and you are willing to sit and talk and asnwer questions then all should be good.

I don't think its traumatic at all. If your child eats any kind of animal meat, just explain it like that. All creatures have to eat! Some just happen to eat other animals...

My kids enjoy even helping to feed now. My daughter was just turned 4 when she really watched. Now its no problem. My sons started older but just because they didnt live with me when we started with snakes.

It depends on the child. Some people (regardless of age) can't handle the sight of it. Only you know what your child can handle.

My daughter feeds our snakes f/t, but she wouldn't feed a live mouse unless it was a last resort. But she's 11 and has grown up with all manner of animals and death has just been part of that. But a snake squeezing a mouse to death is a lot different than a pet dying of natural causes. Again, use your judgement on what your child can handle, and if unsure, err on the side of waiting. Or switch to F/T and then it's a non issue and the kid(s) can help feed.

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Originally Posted by OctagonGecko729

I think 3 is a little young to expose a kid to death just in general, it doesnt have to be particularly an animal eating another animal but this is on a case by case basis for sure. There are plenty of kids that are ready for that realization at 5 and there are plenty of adults which can't ever accept that reality.

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With this said, my daughter is 2 and fully understands that the snakes must eat, and knows what their food is called, knows what happens, has watched it, and enjoys it. She also has her own pet rats that we let her hold and interact with that she knows are not snake food.

As far as 3 being to early to be exposed to death in general, let alone 2, we lost our 4 month old son about 6 months ago and she was well aware that she lost her little brother. So I guess not exposing her to death at an early age went right out the window.

Do what you think is best for your child. I will say tho as a parent, there is no harm having your children live in the real world, because sooner or later they WILL find out that death exists, and that it can be extremely hard to deal with at times, but one day everyone and everything has their time.

Might as well grow up with it instead if having to adjust and cope later...


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I say expose them. I think that when things aren't hidden from them, they understand it better. My daughter was first exposed to death at 4 when her Grandpa passed from cancer. We hid nothing from her about his illness. She knew grandpa was sick and going to die. When the time came she handled it better than the rest of us.

She has been right there twice, when we have had to put a cat down, holding them and petting them, because she wanted her to be the last thing they knew. There's no way I would have told her she couldn't be a part of saying goodbye, even with how hard and terrible it was.

So when she wanted snakes (at age 6), we explained to her what and how they eat. And she's totally fine with it. She understands her snakes need to eat. And she plays with all the rats from the time they are pinks, until they get fed off. She feeds the snakes sometimes as well. She gives the rats a head scratch, then kisses them, and then puts them in the tub.


Give them some credit, they will amaze you.

Kids are fine. I have 4 and 6 yearold. My 4 yearold likes to hold and play with rats before they are givin to our animals.

Its a bitter sweet for them to play with a cute rat but they understand and accept it.

You transition it into a learning experience.
The younger they get exposed they understand better.

Kids are better about it than adults

if you cant accept it or have worries, start off with feeding insects to animals.

My kids have been watching and helping during feeding time with no issues. Like someone else mentioned there is no blood. They see more blood and violence on video game commercials than on feeding day.
Also my 5 year old girl likes to hold the cute little fuzzy rats when we are feeding the hatchlings.

I raised 2 girls. You know your kid best.

I found in situations such as this, preparedness is key. Talk about it before hand, answer ?'s. Explain, during, and discuss after. It sure makes a difference.

The biggest problem to overcome is Disney! They have convinced the world,starting at childhood that every animal is innocent and has a soul and should never die.

Please don't take me wrong, I AM quite the animal lover that was originally Pre-vet.

I have a 3 year old... she loves feeding the snakes :D

In fact... she is sometimes the one who has to remind me who is due on certain days... lol...

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Originally Posted by Coopers Constrictors

I have a 3 year old... she loves feeding the snakes :D

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Awesome!

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Originally Posted by Reinz

I raised 2 girls. You know your kid best.

I found in situations such as this, preparedness is key. Talk about it before hand, answer ?'s. Explain, during, and discuss after. It sure makes a difference.

The biggest problem to overcome is Disney! They have convinced the world,starting at childhood that every animal is innocent and has a soul and should never die.

Please don't take me wrong, I AM quite the animal lover that was originally Pre-vet.

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And this is the problem, we have gotten so detached from the real world everything is traumatic... stupid tv and disney we live in an imaginary world. I bet many kids growing up on farms or less fortunate countries are helping their parents kill, skin, etc animals to eat. I think its important to know where your food comes from and completely understand it. The younger kids are expose to this and learn this the less likely they are to grow up screwed up with irrational fears and have a better understanding of the real world. I say do it, before they start thinking all animals are alive and happy and everything is rainbows and unicorns and windup the next member of PETA.

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Originally Posted by Expensive hobby

With this said, my daughter is 2 and fully understands that the snakes must eat, and knows what their food is called, knows what happens, has watched it, and enjoys it. She also has her own pet rats that we let her hold and interact with that she knows are not snake food.

As far as 3 being to early to be exposed to death in general, let alone 2, we lost our 4 month old son about 6 months ago and she was well aware that she lost her little brother. So I guess not exposing her to death at an early age went right out the window.

Do what you think is best for your child. I will say tho as a parent, there is no harm having your children live in the real world, because sooner or later they WILL find out that death exists, and that it can be extremely hard to deal with at times, but one day everyone and everything has their time.

Might as well grow up with it instead if having to adjust and cope later...


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I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your son at such early age.
Thank you for your response.

I think as long as you explain the importance of all animals it doesn't matter too much. I was at a Petco and there was a guy with 2 kids. Maybe 4 and 6. They were looking at the mice and the dad joked "hey we should feed them to the snake! hahaha" and the kids were like "but won't it hurt the mice?" and the dad said "It doesn't matter, it's only a stupid mouse."

While I do not mind live feeding, I believe it's extremely important that people learn to RESPECT all living creatures, even if they're being fed off

My daughter was 3 when she first wanted a snake. She picked out what she wanted (bumblebee- my first snake in 13yrs and my first morph) and earned it by listening and being good for 6 months. The little bee preferred live and she had no problems feeding. She would even tell the mice goodbye. But then again, she's had an oscar in her room since she was 2 and she would help give him feeder fish....she would also help me pick out the pretty feeders to throw in the pond. And I never floated those because I needed them to be survivors because my pond is a minimum care pond that relies on a natural balance. She accepts the circle of life.

My niece is 5 and she went with us to pick out our boys food and watched him eat then she wanted to watch our girl eat as well. She is very intrigued and even wanted to feed them which we did not let her do. I think it depends on the child it is educational I know parents who take their kids to go pick out a cow to take to the butcher. I think earlier is better.

Okay, let me put it this way...

Tons of children grow up in farms. Farmers don't make a habit of preventing their children from roaming the farm where they might see a horse mount another horse (quite intense, I tell ya!), or the cat eat the rat or the dog rip up the chicken or the cow get butchered.

Since there's no law that prevents farmers from having children, then it is to be assumed that it's okay for children to be exposed to the cycle of life the day they are born.

Now, your children did not grow up on the farm. So, the question is not if it's okay for children to experience the cycle of life at age 3. Because, there's no reason why it would not be okay. The question is if YOUR child will be okay with it. And only YOU can answer that question... It's all on your parenting style. Children getting traumatized by the cycle is not a trait that they're born with. Children getting traumatilzed by the cycle is all about the environment/parenting they grow up in.

My niece is 4, she has seen our snakes eat, and will "help" decide which one gets which rat. She doesn't seem traumatized by it.

While my parents are not farmers, my grandparents were. I was exposed to things dying and things breeding at a pretty young age. The only TV I ever watched was national geographic or Discovery Channel (back when there were actual documentaries, but that's a topic for another thread). As long as I remember, I knew that some animals eat other animals, and everything dies eventually. I don't think I'm traumatized.

I don't think it is really an issue of age. I think it is more in how you approach the subject, and how sheltered the kid has been prior to this point.

Ya... that's a tough one.
When I was young, if I saw any animal die, I'd burst into tears. I personally think 3 is too young.

However, if you were lucky enough to see a snake eating in the wild, I think that might be different. I have seen this a few times in my life, including when I was somewhere around age 6 or 8.
I think it's different because the animal has caught it's prey itself, and is not being fed by a person - and thus thhere is nothing anyone can do, it is nature.

I personally don't feed live (can you tell?) so the best I can give you is my opinion from an animal-lover's stand point :P
I think you should wait to see if your child is interested in the feeding process first! Just because they are interested in the hobby does not mean they want to see a snake eat.
If your child shows interest and asks to watch, that might also be a different story.

I feel like offering to show something like a live feeding should not be done, unless a child is really interested and asking to see it many times.

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Originally Posted by NH93

I think you should wait to see if your child is interested in the feeding process first! Just because they are interested in the hobby does not mean they want to see a snake eat.

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I think that if they are interested in the hobby, they need to understand all aspects of it. They need to be taught about the animal and its needs. It needs to eat. It needs to eat rodents. Sometimes they need to eat live ones. THIS IS NORMAL, THIS IS OK.

If you are going to have a pet, you need to know all the responsibilities that go with them. If your kid wants a dog you dont skip over the poop scooping duties because they might think its gross. Dogs poop, poop has to be scooped.

People need to stop sheltering all these mamby pamby kids. Give them some credit. Give them a chance. Empower them, don't hold them back.

I don't think you should force a child to see something they may not want to or be ready for. I was interested in animals and pets as a child, but like I said, if I saw something - anything - die, I would start crying, and I can still remember some traumatizing experiences. I would not subject anyone to that, adult or child.
At 3 years old a child should not have the responsibility to take care of animals, just because they are learning about it. It's like anything. Take it in steps, don't shove it down their throats.

Watching an animal die is not the same as scooping poop. Compare it all you want, it is not the same.
I agree that children should be empowered. So empower them to make a decision about what they want. And if they want to watch you feed live, then there you go. If they haven't shown interest, that's another story. There is no way to know what kind of adverse effects you can cause.
Yes, it may just be a little mouse or rat, and it may be a common thing in your household. And I doubt every little child who sees a live feeding will be bothered. But you never know, and I wouldn't want to be the reason my child grows up either afraid of snakes, upset at me, or worse - it does happen.

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Originally Posted by NH93

I don't think you should force a child to see something they may not want to or be ready for. I was interested in animals and pets as a child, but like I said, if I saw something - anything - die, I would start crying, and I can still remember some traumatizing experiences. I would not subject anyone to that, adult or child.
At 3 years old a child should not have the responsibility to take care of animals, just because they are learning about it. It's like anything. Take it in steps, don't shove it down their throats.

Watching an animal die is not the same as scooping poop. Compare it all you want, it is not the same.
I agree that children should be empowered. So empower them to make a decision about what they want. And if they want to watch you feed live, then there you go. If they haven't shown interest, that's another story. There is no way to know what kind of adverse effects you can cause.
Yes, it may just be a little mouse or rat, and it may be a common thing in your household. And I doubt every little child who sees a live feeding will be bothered. But you never know, and I wouldn't want to be the reason my child grows up either afraid of snakes, upset at me, or worse - it does happen.

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And this is why some kids are mortified by things... they have been sheltered from them.

If they are interested in the hobby, they need to know about it. If they can't handle feeding or live feedings, then they aren't ready for snakes. Im not saying they are the sole care taker at that age, but they need to know about the animal.

This all goes back to how they are raised. Expose them to things.

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Originally Posted by NH93

I don't think you should force a child to see something they may not want to or be ready for. I was interested in animals and pets as a child, but like I said, if I saw something - anything - die, I would start crying, and I can still remember some traumatizing experiences. I would not subject anyone to that, adult or child.
At 3 years old a child should not have the responsibility to take care of animals, just because they are learning about it. It's like anything. Take it in steps, don't shove it down their throats.

Watching an animal die is not the same as scooping poop. Compare it all you want, it is not the same.
I agree that children should be empowered. So empower them to make a decision about what they want. And if they want to watch you feed live, then there you go. If they haven't shown interest, that's another story. There is no way to know what kind of adverse effects you can cause.
Yes, it may just be a little mouse or rat, and it may be a common thing in your household. And I doubt every little child who sees a live feeding will be bothered. But you never know, and I wouldn't want to be the reason my child grows up either afraid of snakes, upset at me, or worse - it does happen.

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Why shelter a child from something that is absolutely an inevitability in all of our lives? Every human, and every animal will at one point die. It is not avoidable. So why not have them brought up with this reality, so they can form, during their developmental stages of life, a way to recognize, know, and deal with death?


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Just to clarify, I didn't mean to portray a sheltering hyperventilating style of parenting at all. If the kid is curious about it we would have to have that talk before I exposed them to the actual event to make sure they understood. We would go over step by step exactly what would happen and then and only then would I feed live with them in the room. I also would never force the event or force them to deal with my animals at all. I'd also re-emphasize that this is a case by case subject for sure. I think the biggest thing with exposing kids to death is how its done. Some kids are very traumatized by witnessing live feeding as a youngster in school and they grow up to hate snakes. This is usually due to a non-empathetic non caring teacher who simply throws the classes pet hamster in with the snake. To the OP, if your son is asking questions and wants to experience the whole thing. Again I'd go through exactly what happens and have the death talk. Explain it for what it is, simply the cycle of all life and then allow him to watch if he is ready. I do appreciate you asking the community for their opinions on the matter instead of just jumping into it. That really shows that you care for your sons mental wellbeing in this matter.

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Originally Posted by DooLittle

And this is why some kids are mortified by things... they have been sheltered from them.

If they are interested in the hobby, they need to know about it. If they can't handle feeding or live feedings, then they aren't ready for snakes. Im not saying they are the sole care taker at that age, but they need to know about the animal.

This all goes back to how they are raised. Expose them to things.

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No, kids are mortified of things because they are forcefully exposed to things that they don't want to experience. This is just as true for any age of human, the difference is force i.e. the difference between rape and sex. One is quite traumatizing, the other is quite enjoyful :gj:. So back to the topic, just make sure your kid is interested in it, wants to know more, and fully understands what live feeding is before showing them.

Im not saying take Timmy and make him stand in front of the tub while he cries his eyes out. There is a proper way to go about it. But I am saying if they are interested in snakes, they need to understand about them.

I have a 4 yr old daughter who I recently introduced the feeding process too. She needed a lot of the circle of life talk over the course of about 4 months in order to understand the reason why these furry pets/rats where being killed by the snake. The best way to introduce them IMO is to observe the snake feeding on Frozen thawed first then move into the live protion after they seem fine with the frozen feeding. a lot of reinforcement was necessary in my childs case. She needed to know that rats are the snakes food and that they would die without them. this got me 80% of the way there to live feedings, the other 20% was accomplished through talking and frozen feedings.

Well that's my experience hope your's goes as well as mine did.

I also think that kids need to understand the food chain to understand WHY the snake must eat the rat/mouse/rabbit/pig/etc. explain that the snake has to eat the animal to survive, just as the coyote must eat the snake, and the mountain lion must eat the coyote, etc etc.

Explain to your child that animals cannot go to the grocery store and buy food, like us humans do, and that life as a wild animal is actually pretty tough, and meals can be few and far between.

Once your child understands WHY, they can accept the death of the animal much more easily.

Death can be a very touchy subject, but it is inevitable. The sooner they understand why, the sooner they can deal with the reality of it.

As I have said, sometimes children don't have a choice and are exposed to death, especially like in my families case, without someone forcing it upon them. My 2 year old daughter was forced, not by us, to realize that her only little brother in the whole wide world had died. She had to watch as I tried to revive him, and had to watch me fail in my attempts. She doesn't ask where he is anymore, but she looks at pictures of him and makes comments about her "guy" being in heaven and him no longer being here anymore.

Kids, even at a very early age, can understand death far greater than we ever give them credit for.


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both my parents are veterinarians. for as long as i can remember (since i was 3 or 4) i rode around with my father on farm calls. i saw stillbirths, large animals breeding, animals being put down, gory surgeries, and my dads arm up to his shoulder in cows' and horses' asses. i turned out great. :gj: lol

but really.. none of that "scarred" me. at a young age, shelter him from drugs, domestic violence, swearing, porn.. that kind of stuff. but i think he'll be fine learning about and witnessing mother nature.

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Originally Posted by TheSnakeGeek

i turned out great. :gj: lol

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Debatable, I liked creepin better... :D