My Kids best friend and snakes

So my oldest made his first best friend over the summer who lives two houses up. Both are the same age and both start kindergarten together this year.

Now the story....my son is a reptile fanatic and his friend came over like usual but this time my two sons decided they was going to open the door to the reptile room and go show him the snakes. I instantly shut the door and said no then I called for my son 5 minutes later to talk to him privately.

I said to him, not all parents like snakes, lizards and reptile like we do. He asked why not and I really didn't have a answer for him so I told him to go back to playing.

The real reason why is that I know the kids Dad is snooty and would probably flip balls (no pun) if he found out I have a large collection of pythons.

Also from what's been going on in the news. He would then not feel safe with his kid at my house. There would be no reasoning with him either I just know that's what type of person/man he is. It would end up destroying my kids first friendship. Me and my wife both agree on this and both think its sad.

I'm just wondering if any one else has ran into a similar situation where they had to keep there snakes/reptiles a hush hush

That stinks. I don't personally have kids so can't really say much. Sucks the friends father is like that. I think a little education goes a long way to proving the snakes are animals not monsters. The stuff going on in the news is due to poor ownership from the sounds of it.

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How about your own brother. Mine recently said he wasn't very comfortable with his kids coming to my house to play with their cousins, because of my python collection and all that has been in the news lately. Keep in mind, that his kids have been here several times, they don't go anywhere near my snake room, and most importantly... I keep only Ball Pythons. Well I have one Pretty large boa, but still. Ignorance.

Sorry you're in that situation.

Been in my apartment for 2 years and have been extremely quiet about my snakes until the last couple months. I've gone with the frame of mind where I am no longer afraid of being a snake owner which has worked out so far. Don't think any of my neighbors knew I even had snakes until then. A couple of them are deathly afraid and I keep a respectful level of conversation with them and don't bring it up nor do I shove it in their faces.

Your situation is different though with your neighbor and son. Hope things work out for you. I think on some level most of us can feel for your situation.

We converted my daughter's bff, from being scared of snakes to loving them. Her parents don't mind at all. However, I think open communication between parents is a key. I wouldn't want to find out one of my daughters friends parents were hiding something from me. I like to know the people and whats going on, before my daughter stays there. We have in the past had a friend that wasnt allowed to come over because we own guns, but none that I'm aware of due to the snakes. And they all know we have them, we take them to school each year. Personally, I would tell the friends parents. The kid is probably going to go home and do it for you.

Its great when your kids have friends, its even better when you like or get along with their parents. ;)

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Originally Posted by SinCityBPs

How about your own brother. Mine recently said he wasn't very comfortable with his kids coming to my house to play with their cousins, because of my python collection and all that has been in the news lately. Keep in mind, that his kids have been here several times, they don't go anywhere near my snake room, and most importantly... I keep only Ball Pythons. Well I have one Pretty large boa, but still. Ignorance.

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It does stink and I'm the same as you Sin. I only have BPs and I plan on getting a boa sometime before the year is over. Anyhow my kids no better not to go in the reptile room and open a tub unless they're with me.

It may sound weird but I taught them to fear snakes/reptiles yet if you respect them they are amazing pets. Pretty much I just tell them to respect all living things and if you don't there is always a consequence. It is sickening that the new has this all hyped up and I have to be all hush about my stuff.

I know for a fact that my sons friend would be amazed if I showed him all the reptiles we have.

I don't have kids, so I've never had to deal with this sort of thing, but I do agree that having open communication with the father/parents is the best bet. Maybe you can invite them over for dinner and discuss? Or better yet, have a 'reptile day' at school with your calmest ones. I'm not sure if that would be feasible, but it can go a long way to get parents comfortable and kids excited about herps. Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you and yours!

I feel your pain only sadly enough one of my daughters friends parents wouldn't let her come to our house because we had 2 German Shepherds... it truly is a sad world sometimes

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Originally Posted by DooLittle

We converted my daughter's bff, from being scared of snakes to loving them. Her parents don't mind at all. However, I think open communication between parents is a key. I wouldn't want to find out one of my daughters friends parents were hiding something from me. I like to know the people and whats going on, before my daughter stays there. We have in the past had a friend that wasnt allowed to come over because we own guns, but none that I'm aware of due to the snakes. And they all know we have them, we take them to school each year. Personally, I would tell the friends parents. The kid is probably going to go home and do it for you.

Its great when your kids have friends, its even better when you like or get along with their parents. ;)

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You hit everything here on the head Doolittle and I agree with all of it. I'm 25, 26 in September and his Dad is in his early 40s. it just seems like one of those guys that thinks I'm a dumb young parent, maybe I'll just talk to him like you said. I just don't want to destroy my sons first friendship thats why Im keeping it a secret. So it's going to still be 50/50 for me saying something or not.

I much rather him just go home and say hey they have these really cool snakes. I just don't want to be the one who destroys his first buddy. If anything I might just wait till they know each other for along time. Stupid news only reporting bad and incorrect stuff.

Like my grandfather told me, if the news reported nothing but sunshine and happy stuff no one would watch it.

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Originally Posted by MootWorm

I don't have kids, so I've never had to deal with this sort of thing, but I do agree that having open communication with the father/parents is the best bet. Maybe you can invite them over for dinner and discuss? Or better yet, have a 'reptile day' at school with your calmest ones. I'm not sure if that would be feasible, but it can go a long way to get parents comfortable and kids excited about herps. Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you and yours!

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I was thinking the same thing with brining the reptiles to school for a show n tell type of deal. Maybe even have my wife make some cool goody bags with reptile candies and lil snake toys to pass out.

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Originally Posted by Diamond Serpents

I was thinking the same thing with brining the reptiles to school for a show n tell type of deal. Maybe even have my wife make some cool goody bags with reptile candies and lil snake toys to pass out.

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That would be so cute!! I know I would have loved that kind of thing as a kid. I was always jealous of the kids that had reptile-themed birthday parties :) Too bad mom wasn't down with the creepy crawlies lol

Taking them to school for "show and tell" during their animal unit has been, for us, so much fun and great exposure for the kids, and educational. I have tons of pictures, but am hesitant to post other peoples kids. So here is my daughters teacher with my pastel, as well as a class picture with our bee. I cropped down so as not to include faces, check out the kid behind sneaking an extra pet!

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/08/24/pa3avyqy.jpg

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/08/24/baby9age.jpg

But seriously, establishing a relationship with the kids parents, is going to be better for your son and his friendship in the long run. If the parents trust you, they will trust your judgment. Maybe inviting them over to show them their son is perfectly safe, if they are hesitant. I had a good rapport with my daughter's friend's parents long before she ever came over. Her parents never even questioned or cared about the snakes when she started coming over. I have even texted her mom pics of her holding the snakes while she was sleeping over.

This is so cool of you Doolittle I defiantly can't wait for his first show and tell now!! My wife said she's going to talk to his Mom since they get along pretty good. So we shall see how this goes.

Quick question about your show and tell. How are you transporting the snakes?? I was thinking snake bag then the large round critter cages. Any suggestions or anything you talk about special with the kids while presenting?

That sucks but your point is very valid. If we've learned one thing from childhood to adults it's the fact that people are scared of what they don't know. It's that simple and it's because of the ignorance of people not actually taking the time to do research along with the media broadcasting and calling snakes killers. In fact I'm willing to bet that dogs cause more fatalities each year in the US than snakes, but because of people not knowing about snakes and all they're automatically written off. I've talked to people that are scared of snakes and asked why and you'd be stunned at the most common answer that was given. It was the fact that they moved without any legs.

You did what you thought was right and nobody can ever fault you on that and I personally would of did the same thing you did. One way to tell for sure though is to get to know the parents and maybe mention that you seen a snake the other day and caught it and what not and see what his take on it is. You can usually tell from that simple response what kind of person he is. I think it would also be an awesome idea to bring one of your snakes to show and tell day, or whatever they call it now days. I've done it before.

It won't let me quote you, but-

We usually go towards the end of the year. So its border line summer, and fairly warm. But I put them in tubs, with their hides, and tape hand warmers to one end(on the outside!). Be sure to check temps, they will get to hot. I had to put them in a sock doubled over. This year they were my daughters year end presentation project as well, so we did it a bit differently. Her teacher however, thought it was so cool she asked if we could bring them to her class next year.

We usually start off with telling them a bit about the snakes, while we hold them. Where they come from, what they eat, how we keep them (husbandry stuff). That they arent scary or slimy. My bee is a fabulous for these things. She is pretty, as well as sweet as pie, as well as trustworthy, and does not get stressed from it (she will, and has, eaten as soon as we get home). Depends on your age group, attention span, time you are alotted... Have an open question time, you will find the kids are FULL of questions. We have our daughter answer them.

We usually then will pass around a hand sanitizer for those who wish to pet. Then they get in a line, and we tell them the petting rules. One at a time, no petting/touching/grabbing it's head or tail. No quick moves. We let them take their hand and pet down, with the scales. While they pet, we keep ahold of the end with teeth, just in case. Hand sanitizer after as well.

This year one of my daughters friends asked if they could hold her after petting. I think this is probably the first year age wise I felt comfortable with that. So we had a line of those who wanted to hold, out of a class of 24, 18 held her. My daughter was in charge of placing her in laps and picking her back up, while I took pictures. Funny, she kept trying to get back on my daughter. But the kids just loved it. She had the principals kid in her class, and we sent him as well as another one or two home wanting snakes.

I'm very thankful we have had teachers each year that were open to this (this is our 3rd year). If we reach even a handful of kids each year, and they dont grow up with irrational fears and ideas about snakes, then it has all been worth it.