How do you deal with negative reactions about your reptile keeping?

It's pretty late here, and I got to pondering...how do you respond to negative reactions when people find out you keep snakes/any type of reptile or amphibian? I'm sure similar threads have appeared on here before, but I'm genuinely curious on how to deal with ignorant, or just straight-up rude remarks. Today an old (and obnoxious) "friend" from high school stopped by my apartment today with my best friend, Kels. When my old schoolmate, Lindsey, asked what I kept in the cages, I told her a blue tongue skink and a ball python. Not knowing what a skink was, she asked to see it. I obliged, and the moment I took her out, Lindsey shrieked "Uhhhmmm, that is DISGUSTING. You have a snake too? No wonder you're single!". Now, I've got a lot of flack in the past about owning reptiles, and it's never really bothered me...but this got to me. I believe owning ANY kind of animal isn't necessarily indicative of a person's personality, nor their dating potential.

Kels, who used to be deathly afraid of all reptiles, instantly defended me and the hobby, so it truly makes me happy to see people become so much more accepting of it once educated...but for those who aren't, how the heck do I respond to such remarks without tearing them a new one? It's difficult to try and educate someone on why I keep reptiles, or debunk the myths on why they're so misunderstood when they're incoherently babbling in fear/disgust. I'm just about to graduate with a Bio degree, and am fully anticipating on pursuing herpetology as a full-time career, so I know I'll be dealing with a lot of this in the future, and need to just shrug it off.

When I met my girlfriend, she was extremely freaked out. In most people that is a natural reaction, snakes are a very common fear. Eventually I worked her up into holding my sweetest snake (also my largest, a female boa). Basically it was baby steps all the way until she felt more comfortable. She still does have a fear, but she is very passionate about reptiles now which I'm very proud of.
My sister is deathly afraid of snakes. I mean all snakes every snake. The only one she likes is the same boa I introduced to my GF. Besides that, she can literally not even stand the sight of a snake, visibly shivers and overall is disgusted. People like her, sometimes it just doesn't get better. And you have to respect that. Try to help people and introduce them slowly, it will be obvious if you come on too strong, and everyone is different.
My sisters husband was born and raised in Ghana Africa until he was late 20s. Talk about real fear there. He is truly, deathly afraid, of any snake. At one point I needed a place to keep my snakes. I was able to work him into letting them stay at their house, but he refused to be in the same room as them. Now fast forward to the future where I have my own house, we're at the point now that I can have one out around him if I was to bring them over. But for people like what he was, I was literally afraid for my snakes life therefore I did not bring them in contact with him at all.

Each of these people have made rude, threatening remarks. But each have progressed in their own way. Some people will warm up, some won't.
Most people are completely ignorant (I still get asked if snakes are slimey, I still get told they will eat me). The best you can do is try to educate them (without being arrogant)

It kinda depends on how they say it (your friend was VERY rude), but I try to remain calm, informative, and friendly... don't want to feed into their stereotypes, ya know? If somebody gives me a hard time, or says "ewwww," I just reply with something like "I know it's an unusual hobby, but they actually make fantastic pets - and I really enjoy caring for them." That generally shuts them up, sometimes even sparks their curiosity! And once I start showing them photos (if they ask), it usually softens their attitudes a bit. :)

If I was told I'm single because of my reptiles, I'd say something like "good, because they're much better company than a man/woman anyways".

Eh if people got problems with my animals they can not come over. Between my snakes, the rats, the tarantulas an the roaches. And the rescued pit i call my baby. I have most people's fears under one roof. I've had people think my snakes are cool an my dog is the devil spawn and I've had people think my snakes are the spawn and then the people who are shocked I sleep in my house at night with all my snakes in the house and a pit bull cuddling with me. I tell them all their my animals if you don't like them don't come over I never forced you here and if your just gonna whine about something I'm not going to change you might as well leave.

People not liking liking my snakes doesn't bother me at all. If they don't want to be my friend because I have snakes then I'm not friends with them anymore.

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That was a pretty rude comment for her to make. :( Geesh. I haven't encountered any rude or threatening responses, but I have encountered the fear aspect a couple times. Of the people that have seen my snake and were instantly frightened, I was able to talk *most* of them down a bit. They'll stand at a distance from her cage (as if she's going to hop out and snag them :rolleyes:) and just stare at her. Most will make comments like "She's really gorgeous......but don't get her out!" Some will ask questions about feeding and what not...and others will just leave it at "Don't get her out." I like to answer whatever questions people have and sometimes it puts them a little more at ease. After talking for a while, I'll sometimes pick up on a vibe that the person is growing more curious about her, so I'll ask "Are you sure you don't want to see her? She's a real sweetheart!" If they still refuse, I won't push the issue, but a few times I've talked people down enough for them to want to pet her. :D As somebody that used to be deathly terrified of snakes, I'm convinced I can get others to realize that these little guys really are misunderstood. I enjoy seeing people open up their minds to something that they've always been unsure of.
But, again, if they are just absolutely refusing and can't even stand in the same room, I won't go chasing them around with her. :P

i generally shrug the shoulders and say "it's not for everyone". that usually has put most at ease and got them to ask questions from there, which has generally lead to where and how can i get one. I don't push things at all. but then again they also know where the door is and how to delete my number if they have that much of an issue.

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Originally Posted by SeSmith

how do you respond to negative reactions when people find out you keep snakes/any type of reptile or amphibian?

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Let me share a common saying from my days in the army: "mind over matter - if you don't mind, it don't matter!" :)

Essentially, the only reason you can get upset by someone else's comments is if you let them bother you; if you allow yourself to get upset. One of life's secrets to happiness is not letting others determine your sense of happiness. If you like to keep snakes, then what does anyone else's opinion on that matter?

The truth is, everyone has "weird" things they're into. That's what makes us all different and, to be honest, interesting. With 6+ billion people on the planet, chances are there will be an unimaginable variety of interests.

One last thing, it may be helpful to keep your snake thing a "secret," shared only with those who are mature enough to accept your enthusiasm for something outside the mainstream. I really don't tell anyone about my snake-keeping, which solves the problem of dealing with those who would have negative reactions. :gj:

I just don't care, I love reptiles. Why would it matter what they hink? My ego has already been murdered by my pet rats..:rolleyes:

Perhaps it's because of my size, or maybe it's my winning smile, or maybe, I'm just a total smartass, but I generally don't encounter people in public who are overt in their objection to my snakes. However, since my partner and I now run a retail shop I do occasionally have people come in who are either genuinely afraid or genuinely stupid. The generally afraid I will generally try to educate, but if they don't want to learn I don't feel obligated to teach. Now the genuinely stupid, or conversely those who think they know everything but are in actuality genuinely stupid, are fair game.

Hearing something like, "oh, I hate snakes. Won't they try to kill you if they can?" often prompts me to respond with something like, "Well, they might try to kill you, especially after what you said, but if I don't give the attack command you'll be ok. For another minute or so."

People with kids who ask if we feed them the cute little mice and rats and then go on to tell me how cruel it is often get something from me along the lines of, "best keep an eye on your kid, last one that got too close almost got eaten, had to pull the little bugger out of the snake by his shoelaces."

Just plain idiots looking for an argument are often asked, "why does your opinion matter to me again?"

But then, I've been doing this a bit longer than most of you so I'm both amused and jaded.

I tend to ignore negative reactions, enjoy YOUR passion and don't let what others may think bother you or get you down.

I have dealt with the ignorance of others on more then one occasion. My own mother hates snakes and rats and will not even step foot into my house. I am fine with that because I really don't want her here anyways, we do not get along. I get so many negative comments from people I know. Like why do you keep snakes and rats in the first place. My response is because it is something that I love to do and I enjoy keeping reptiles, particularly snakes. People are so grossed out about my pet rats too. I love rats, they make awesome pets! They are more intelligent then some of the people I have encountered. I think Wes hit home with his response. You can always count on him for solid and sound advice.

I don't really get many negative reactions from people, but I rarely go out of my way to bring up the fact that I have snakes. Plus, I do plenty of other things that freak people out (skydiving, BASE jumping, paragliding, climbing, freediving), so they can't possibly complain about everything I do. They have to pick and choose, and if I get tired of hearing about one hobby they don't approve of I just change the subject to another one. It's almost comical. If you do something different from the norm, there will always be someone who doesn't like it. Don't let it bother you.

Typically all I need to do is demonstrate how much of a sweetheart they actually are. They tend to win people over most of the time.

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Originally Posted by rossi46

Let me share a common saying from my days in the army: "mind over matter - if you don't mind, it don't matter!" :)

Essentially, the only reason you can get upset by someone else's comments is if you let them bother you; if you allow yourself to get upset. One of life's secrets to happiness is not letting others determine your sense of happiness. If you like to keep snakes, then what does anyone else's opinion on that matter?

The truth is, everyone has "weird" things they're into. That's what makes us all different and, to be honest, interesting. With 6+ billion people on the planet, chances are there will be an unimaginable variety of interests.

One last thing, it may be helpful to keep your snake thing a "secret," shared only with those who are mature enough to accept your enthusiasm for something outside the mainstream. I really don't tell anyone about my snake-keeping, which solves the problem of dealing with those who would have negative reactions. :gj:

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^ I 100% agree with this. I've always been very selective in who I tell, it's just a drag almost no one knows that I keep snakes/reptiles because I know the impending reaction I'll get if I were to tell them. It's something I'm certainly not ashamed of, even though it's often tabooed by societal standards.

You're right, though. It's "weird" to keep herps by society's norms, but then again weird is a subjective term that's different for everyone. I might initially consider it weird for someone to have a collection of 200+ taxidermied gophers all dressed to resemble different celebrities, but I wouldn't write them of just yet. I'd be interested (albeit terrified for life - JK. Sorta'), but I wouldn't spout off degrading and hurtful remarks. I guess the key is to be open-minded to those who are close-minded.

Thanks for the insightful suggestions, everyone! :)

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Originally Posted by ballpythonluvr

I have dealt with the ignorance of others on more then one occasion. My own mother hates snakes and rats and will not even step foot into my house. I am fine with that because I really don't want her here anyways, we do not get along. I get so many negative comments from people I know. Like why do you keep snakes and rats in the first place. My response is because it is something that I love to do and I enjoy keeping reptiles, particularly snakes. People are so grossed out about my pet rats too. I love rats, they make awesome pets! They are more intelligent then some of the people I have encountered. I think Wes hit home with his response. You can always count on him for solid and sound advice.

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How do you deal with feeding rats to your snakes when you also have a relationship with and understanding of rats as pets? No judgement here at all- it just seems stressful to me and I'm curious how you handle the cognitive dissonance.

As far as people having issues with snakes as pets: Whatever. My son thinks snakes are cool, my roommates aren't interested in interacting but don't mind Pandora being here or out of her tank (as long as I'm in control). Beyond them, I don't give a fcxk. I'm single at the moment, and I just figure if a man objects to a snake in my bedroom, he's got no business being there in the first place because we are not going to get along.

My pets rats are my pets and feeders are feeders. I don't have a problem feeding off live rats while keeping three as pets. I'm not cruel to them. They get clean food and water and affection if they want it before they're put into a tub. I treat them the same I do the pets, except at the end of the day the feeder ends up in a snake and the pet goes back to her 'sisters'. Both have a role to play.

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Originally Posted by UltraViolet

How do you deal with feeding rats to your snakes when you also have a relationship with and understanding of rats as pets? No judgement here at all- it just seems stressful to me and I'm curious how you handle the cognitive dissonance.

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How do farmers/ranchers have cows, goats, pigs, etc, as pets if they aren't vegetarians? As Inarikins said, it is possible to keep the two separated in your mind... I have a few pet mice myself, and also feed live mice & rats to my snakes. You just see them differently!

One of my friends(A) is deathly afraid of snakes. When we were over at my other friend's(L) house and I was holding the snake, she would run away... so I told A to just pet the snake. She did and now she's not so uncomfortable. She still won't hold it because it "feels weird", but she isn't afraid at least.

I did the same thing with another friend when we were over at L's house another time. After she pet it, she fell in love and held the snake the whole time!

I had my sister's friend, who is afraid of pretty much any animal except fish, hold my corn snake once. She still doesn't like snakes, but at least she's more confortable now.

I've never gotten mad about people's fear of snakes, because I'm scared of things that other people would think are silly to be afraid of. Some people will just never get over their fears, and I would never make them uncomfortable, even if I thought it was stupid.
I also think that if they comment on your personality or especially your social status, it's more of a "trying to be cool" fear than an actual fear and they're trying to keep their image, while ruining yours so they look better than you. I wonder what this girl's reaction would have been if your other friend wasn't there...

Just brush it off and educate those willing to be educated.

This subject gets discussed on a regular basis. As the keeper of any unusual or outside the society norm pet, you understand from the get go you will have to deal with this. And I don't mean strictly reptiles either. Certain breeds of dogs, cats in general, large birds, ferrets, rats, the list goes on and on. While most people will react more out of ignorance than anything else, and don't really mean to be hurtful, some DO mean to be hurtful, and those are the ones that are a challenge sometimes.

For the most part, I try to be patient and explain things to most of the people who freak out when they find out what kinds of pets I own. Some I just get a kick out of teasing. One lady overheard me say something about owning mice. She wanted to know why on earth anyone would willingly own mice. I told her, with a completely straight face, that my snakes had to eat something. She nearly died on the spot when I said I owned snakes. Her next question was why on earth would I want to own a snake of all things. I told her the facts: They don't make noise, they don't need walked, they don't destroy my furniture, they don't shed hair, they don't smell, they don't make big messes, they are hypo allergenic and only need to eat once a week. I asked her why would anyone NOT own a snake. Well she had to think that one over for a little while, then she wanted to know what kind of snakes I own. I told her ball pythons. Then came the inevitable "You mean those giant killer snakes that are loose in Florida". So I had to explain that no, not all pythons are huge, that even a true giant python wouldn't really attack a person for no reason, and no python in the world could survive the winters outside of a small area in Florida, despite what the media says. By then she was interested enough to ask me how I could feed those cute little mice to my snake, that was cruel. I told her, just like with any pet you care about. I like to know what my snakes are eating. If I breed and raise the mice I feed, I know they are a good food source. Instead of the diseased animals sold in mass at pet stores. She then agreed that was a smart idea on my part. She'll probably never be a snake fan, but at least she listened long enough to loose some of her blind ignorance.

As to your friend saying Ewww and that the skink and snake are why you are single. I would have agreed with her and said, " Well yeah, because most girls are as idiotic as you are, but there are plenty of girls out there who dig snakes, so I'm not worried about finding the one for me.

Gale

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Originally Posted by UltraViolet

How do you deal with feeding rats to your snakes when you also have a relationship with and understanding of rats as pets? No judgement here at all- it just seems stressful to me and I'm curious how you handle the cognitive dissonance.

As far as people having issues with snakes as pets: Whatever. My son thinks snakes are cool, my roommates aren't interested in interacting but don't mind Pandora being here or out of her tank (as long as I'm in control). Beyond them, I don't give a fcxk. I'm single at the moment, and I just figure if a man objects to a snake in my bedroom, he's got no business being there in the first place because we are not going to get along.

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Well, I understand that snakes need to eat and the snakes that I have kept eat rats. I have even gone as far as keeping them in the same room. My pet rats are a part of my animal family. I also have a cat and a dog and I love them very much. I also just happen to love snakes and I realize that they need to eat rodents. Hope that helps you understand.

Brush it off and go home to play with my balls!

Ill usually try to educate them a little but we kind of just have to know its not for anyone and some people just wont budge from their opinions no matter what.

I usually get a good enough reaction because people want to know a little more about my hobby and the animals, but a there's a few people I know who try to use it to insult me making fun the fact that I have snakes and lizards.. Generally I can just brush it off, but sometimes it gets to me a bit but I can shut them up by being condescending right back and pointing out how stupid they're being.
I also face these same problems with what people think of my pet rats, the types of dogs I like and just generally anything outside society's norm. Something that annoys me is when people slag the names of my animals which are mostly names from films I used to watch as a little kid. It's surprising just how closed minded people can be.

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