My hopes are dashed....

For a long time, I was trying to decide whether I even wanted to continue living. I have such bad anxiety I can't drive, can't get a job. There have been a couple times in which I have had a lethal dose of pain medication in one hand and something to wash it all down with in the other, ready to end it all.
And, despite the few thousand dollars in debt I placed myself (which was incredible, given that I can't imagine spending $40 on anything much less $4000), I am now on my second semester of my first year in college. I am the first in my family to go to a four-year college and I have had a great time, it has given me some confidence to speak my mind and a will to live. As my grade point average was 3.6 last semester, I was able to apply for the best scholarships, I was able to apply for over twenty of them. I was hoping, praying, even (I am not religious) that I would be granted some additional scholarships so that I could live on campus this fall. It was my dream, and I have had very few of those in my life.
Alas, the award letters went out. I got $0 in scholarship awards. Even if I get a job right away (if anyone will even hire someone who can't make eye contact or form a proper sentence without stuttering and back-tracking) I still would not be able to afford the cost of living there for the 9-month school year, which is about $5,000 including housing, food, toiletries, etc. I am devastated. I am nearing the end of my spring break and now I don't even want to go back. My classes are located in the building next door to where I was dreaming I'd be living, and now it will just remind me of what I am obviously not good enough to get. I am out of options.

Sorry, there really is no point to this except to vent. Please, please, please, if anyone has children, even if you're pregnant, start saving now for their college. It really, really sucks, being alone in all this.

Have you applied for government pale grants? If your income is low enough you may qualify and essentially get paid by the government to go to school if you are approved for a full grant. Unlike student loans they do not have to be repaid its essentially money out there that the government delegates out. Definitely worth looking into.


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Yes, I got the maximum $5550 for federal pell grant, and for this year I got $500 in SEOG grant. That's $6050 for a year, which did not cover all of my tuition and mandatory health insurance for both semesters.

Student loans are not the best answer, but they may be where you need to look.

Hang in there!!! I know debt sucks but in the end it will be worth it and a college education is one of the best things you can do for yourself in this day and age.

Its not a matter of not being good enough...its simply a matter of never enough money to go around to everyone that needs it. Private/student loans (while they suck are an option)...and I strongly suggest applying for anything you can find on a random internet search...even if its some oddball $500 grant from Ireland for having freckles and red hair....seriously there are things like that out there....and while 500$ doesnt sound like much compared to the full cost of a year at college.....2 or 3 or 4 500$ grants add up and quick.

Dont let one loan denial letter stop you from reapplying for anything you can...the worst they can do is say no and a lot of times you can appeal decisions.

If you haven't looked into student loans you should, school is expensive an hard to pay for if your sure of what you want to go for student loans are very helpful. I'm from a way lower rung middle class and the student loans helped me get enough to pay for classes and my school thing then I need to work to pay the bills that are for me to live. I've got 28 thousand in student loans an by time I graduate next year if I don't go for another year I will o 38 thousand, then like six months of being out of school the loan company's have you make monthly payments.

I did also get the maximum $3775 in loans to cover the rest/living expenses (hence the $4000 cost I mentioned in my first post). It's just not at all enough to live there.

Where are you going to school? Is it a state school? You may need to look at your location or school to maximize the money you have.

Also, there is usually the option to amass a lot of credits on the community college level and then transfer back in to the bigger university. WOuld maybe give you time to save a little.

There are plenty of jobs for introverted folks out there if you really look. You may even be able to get something where you work from home on your computer or something like that. You my even be able to work for the school itself and get money and/or cheaper tuition/fees/boarding etc...

Yeah, make sure you are going to a school in the state your reside in to avoid out of state tuition bumps. I know during my 4 years of undergraduate and my year of grad I dont believe I ever had a tuition bill over $2400, and most of the first two years of that was done at a community college costing less than $1400 a semester, and they even offered plenty of scholarship help to those who applied. One of my largest scholarships from there covered all but books for my last semester, only 12 people applied for the scholarship and 4 received it. . . Smaller schools have lots of benefits. Keep in mind you're not going to hinder yourself starting small and working your way to a larger university. All the basics have to be done, and as long as you have a degree plan that you can work with, you can even get all your prelims out of the way at smaller schools (Bio 1 and 2, Chem 1 and 2, physics 1 and 2 if you are a science major). These schools have cheaper lab rates versus the univeristy level. Heck, even grad school was less than 3 grand a semester at the local university . . . Good luck!

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Originally Posted by kdreptiles

Please, please, please, if anyone has children, even if you're pregnant, start saving now for their college. It really, really sucks, being alone in all this.

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I'm in a similar boat and can't stress this enough to people, lol.

The school I'm going to is the smallest and cheapest in my area. It's 40 miles out so adds a lot of travel expenses, it does not cost quite as much as I took out in loans + pell grant but travel expenses are (not quite) covered with the leftovers. I live within walking distance of a University, but alas, tuition is over twice as much.

This all will pass. That's what I tell myself when it gets extra-stormy in life. For employment, you could look into positions that don't have a ton of customer interaction. Maybe a cleaning job? I had horrible social anxiety for most of my life, and still do from time to time.. mine turned out to improve after I was diagnosed with anemia and a vitamin d deficiency which caused crippling fatigue and is now remedied..

But anxiety is No Joke. Know that you are not guilty of being weak or inferior because of it. It can pop up for no reason, and through no fault of your own.

I commend you for going to school and sticking it to your anxiety. I can drive and work, but I could not imagine going to school (I had a traumatic high school experience though, so that helped me not want to go to school.) I wish you the best in all of this.

I know ALL TOO WELL how anxiety and school goes.., I tried to do school and did all the grants and loans... I was all prepped nd ready. But my anxiety kept me from going... HANG IN THERE BABY!!! I've been where u r! AND I KNOW IT SUCKS! Just don't give up like I've had to!


*~*~*~ Love always bring difficulties, that is true, but the good side of it is that it gives energy ~*~*~*
-Vincent Van Gogh-

Sorry bud, sounds like you're not trying to me. I go to school completely on my own dime. I'm full time in school, 32 hours at work and I afford $650/month rent, $300 in bills, and managing to buy groceries.

Go to your office of scholarship and finaid, you're missing money somewhere. And remember, nine months of school is three semesters worth. So, really staying in those dorms has to be broken up in semester chunks.

What I really mean is that the school can't give you fewer money than what it takes to live on campus. There's a way, you're just not trying.

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You seem to have missed the part where they mentioned that they have severe anxiety. Just because you're capable of doing something doesn't mean everyone else is.

Additionally, nine months isn't three semesters. At best, it's two. The main 16 week semesters run from January to May, and from August to December, usually with an 8 week semester from early June to late July. Additionally, I believe the 16 weeks only covers the schooling period, and they're actually 17 weeks, with the 17th week being for finals. At least, that's how my college is.

And finally, the school can give less money than it takes to live at campus, they're not required to give any money, actually. You're only 21, according to your profile, and it's very clear that you haven't been to college for very long.

I had to leave my first attempt at school because my agoraphobia and anxiety got to be too much to deal with. I don't regret taking that time, but I'm looking forward to getting back to it now that I'm properly medicated and supplied with coping skills via 3 months of very intensive inpatient and outpatient options. I'm altogether more prepared. There are things I still have to learn, but it's better than the alternative of not being here at all.

Student loans are very forgiving and are willing to give circumstantial deferrments and all sorts of things, not to mention you don't need to start paying them back until 6 months after you have your diploma. It's an option, even if it's not ideal.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

You seem to have missed the part where they mentioned that they have severe anxiety. Just because you're capable of doing something doesn't mean everyone else is.

Additionally, nine months isn't three semesters. At best, it's two. The main 16 week semesters run from January to May, and from August to December, usually with an 8 week semester from early June to late July. Additionally, I believe the 16 weeks only covers the schooling period, and they're actually 17 weeks, with the 17th week being for finals. At least, that's how my college is.

And finally, the school can give less money than it takes to live at campus, they're not required to give any money, actually. You're only 21, according to your profile, and it's very clear that you haven't been to college for very long.

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9 months does span three semesters, at least at my four year institution. I'm currently a Junior in MSIS.

The school actually, or at least should, base how much money you get based on the average cost of attendance. So, all the cheapest options. Meal plan, on campus housing, books. Which is all based on how many hours you take. I went straight out of high school, got married, and then went to college the following August of 2010.

You'll notice I have again ignored the anxiety, because the OP has made strides to over come it. Living on campus is a big stride and wanting it shows commitment. I'm speaking fully in financial problems.

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Then your school is an abnormality. I've been to college, have looked at universities, and talked to people at different universities than then the ones I'm looking at, and they all follow the standard 16/17 week plan.

Again, your college is an abnormality. Every college I've looked at has set costs for tuition, room/board, etc. Books tend to vary on what courses your taking, as well as the college. Some will charge the student exorbitant prices that are jacked up 200 to 300% of the base cost, while others such as College of the Ozarks charges the student the same price they page for books.

All aid is based on an average cost of attendance. If it isn't that way everywhere, it should be. I got approximately 20 grand for both the fall and spring of the 2012-2013 school year. I'm doing summer so I will be getting more money. I'm just making the argument that there has to be a way, and if there isn't it isn't a very good college.

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Southwestern University at Wetherford: Class began Jan 9th. Finals begin on May 2nd.
Tuition/room&board/meals: http://www.swosu.edu/resources/tuition.asp

University of Oklahoma: Class began Jan 14th. Finals begin May 6th. http://www.ou.edu/admin/facsen/2012-13calx.htm
Tuition/room&board/meals: http://www.ou.edu/admissions/home/re..._estimate.html

Aid is based on how much you make per year, how many people are in the family, how many are going to college, etc. The reason why you got so much is because you're married, going to college, and not working full time. If your significant other isn't working ,then that would be factored in, as well.

That doesn't change the fact that all aid at OSU is based on the average cost of attendance. I don't get more for being an independent I just get different aid. Kids who aren't independent get to let their parents try a parent plus loan, I get another student loan.

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Like I said. Your university is an abnormality. I'm also pretty sure that OP isn't going to OSU.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

Like I said. Your university is an abnormality. I'm also pretty sure that OP isn't going to OSU.

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Should, orange is the best. :p

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Considering OSU doesn't have a pharmacy program? No they're not.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

Considering OSU doesn't have a pharmacy program? No they're not.

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We also don't have a botany department as of this year, the new arts and science Dean is butthead.

We used to, the pharmacist at OSU health services got his degree from the University.

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