Ugh, new dating standards

Okay, so after my ex and I have recently broken up I have decided there are a few new necessary additions to my qualifications list.
1) Needs to own snakes or reptiles and enjoy them as much as I do
2) Has to get over the fact that I have a service dog
3) Should enjoy the fact that I don't play social games and will be brutally honest about how I feel about people to their face
4) Can enjoy an occasional drink but doesn't have to party multiple times a week
5) Understand puntuality
Anyone see something I missed?

Looks like a good list to me!

VERY similar to my list that I made after my last breakup.

I am completely just curious, what's the service dog for? And why would anyone have a problem with it.

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Oh man, you're in Oklahoma too! There's three of us now! Sadly, I'm married. ;)

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Haha! My SD is for my hips. I have hip dysplasia, hip impingements, and tendonosis in my hips as well. Due to my deformities my hips are tearing up all the cartilage and causing my mobility to gradually diminish which means I have terrible flexibility, balance, and stamina for any kind of exercise. K, my SD, makes sure people don't knock into me, helps me up and down stairs, and stand up if I do fall. He didn't have a problem with my problems, he had a problem with having a dog around all the time even though K is VERY well behaved

Service dogs are some of the most intelligent and we'll behaved animals out there. I can't imagine not having my dogs around all the time. My girls sleep in bed with me. Some people. ;o

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Right?! He's not completely graduated yet and I can't do some of the work with him because he is still young, but he does great in practice. I usually have a human help me for now.

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Originally Posted by Royal Chick

Okay, so after my ex and I have recently broken up I have decided there are a few new necessary additions to my qualifications list.
1) Needs to own snakes or reptiles and enjoy them as much as I do
2) Has to get over the fact that I have a service dog
3) Should enjoy the fact that I don't play social games and will be brutally honest about how I feel about people to their face
4) Can enjoy an occasional drink but doesn't have to party multiple times a week
5) Understand puntuality
Anyone see something I missed?

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I think it's funny that you (a girl) thinks a guy needs to be punctual. Lol. Stereotypically the female is the one who makes us late. You have to be In The bathroom for days before you are ready to go. Lol.

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Originally Posted by interloc

I think it's funny that you (a girl) thinks a guy needs to be punctual. Lol. Stereotypically the female is the one who makes us late. You have to be In The bathroom for days before you are ready to go. Lol.

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Right give me ten mins from waking up and I'm ready for a 18 hour day. Most girls I know make me late for things cuz I feel bad leaving them :) lol

Oh NO!!! I am OCD about being on time and if I am not on time I am grumpy and immediately letting you know that I will be as close to on time as humanly possible lol but I don't typically wear makeup and I wear one pair of clothes a day. I dress nice, but don't overdo it because I just don't have the patience and love my sleep time waaaaay more than putting on makeup

I do my damnedest to be early if at all possible. You're late, if you're on time. You're on time, if you're early.

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The beauty in the breakup is the ability to refine ones interests and ideas in partnership. Sometimes we have to see the bad before we can understand the good that can be found out there. Glad to see you're refining your ideas and becoming more selective. Always move forward after things like this. Never reverse.


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Thanks! Yeah, it's definitely eye opening, being bi doesn't help my situation either. Now I have to choose if I want to pursue a male, female, either, or stay single as long as possible... so complicated!!!

Standards are good! :gj:
If you find a great person you like, firmly put out the standards, and they might be good for a long term relationship.
But I know nothing about love.

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Originally Posted by Royal Chick

Thanks! Yeah, it's definitely eye opening, being bi doesn't help my situation either. Now I have to choose if I want to pursue a male, female, either, or stay single as long as possible... so complicated!!!

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Curious, why exactly do you have to choose to pursue one or the other? If you are sexually attracted to either sex, it seems logical to let your emotional attraction do the deciding. Why pursue one or the other when another option is to let love happen with whatever gender the person you fall for happens to be, instead of limiting yourself to one sex at a time?

(and I am with you on punctuality, I cannot stand being remotely late. I haven't had a date much less a relationship but I've actually seen the guys make the girls late more often than the other way around)

The girl I'm seeing isn't a fan of my cats, and while it could be a dealbreaker in other situations, for the most part the cats are the ones getting in the way of our private time =P My girl's a cuddler, but my human friend is too, so they have a bit of a rivalry for best cuddle spot-- which puts me in the middle, lol.

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Originally Posted by Royal Chick

Oh NO!!! I am OCD about being on time and if I am not on time I am grumpy and immediately letting you know that I will be as close to on time as humanly possible lol but I don't typically wear makeup and I wear one pair of clothes a day. I dress nice, but don't overdo it because I just don't have the patience and love my sleep time waaaaay more than putting on makeup

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I know exactly what you mean. I hate being late. I strive to be as on time as possible. I don't usually wear makeup and when I do it takes me 10 minutes. I don't carefully choose my clothes either hahah.

What really bugs me is when people say they will be there "soon". What is that supposed to mean?? I always give my estimations in minutes!

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Originally Posted by Royal Chick

1) Needs to own snakes or reptiles and enjoy them as much as I do
Anyone see something I missed?

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Before even reading any responses...

Yea, change this one to: "Respects and supports my interests/hobbies."

I don't "need" a chick that loves reptiles or snakes. In fact, i'd almost prefer she has her own hobbies so that way we each have our own things we like. As long as she supports me, is willing to go to expos, sorta pretend to understand why I get so excited over stupid stuff lol, etc., then thats good enough for me.

I'm not the best with cars or the likes so I'm on the lookout for a mechanic. You know, like Michelle Rodriguez, in Fast and Furious.... :D

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Before even reading any responses...

Yea, change this one to: "Respects and supports my interests/hobbies."

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Yea, change this one to: "Adam Levine."

I don't "need" a guy that isn't Adam Levine. In fact, i'd almost prefer he was Adam Levine so that way I have things I like. As long as he supports me, is willing to go to expos, sorta pretend to understand why I get so excited over stupid stuff lol, etc., then Adam Levine is enough for me.

But in all seriousness, I don't have any dating standards... I either like you or I don't (and I usually don't). I've never really been in the "searching for love" mindset. Not to say I don't go on dates and what not, but those are, in all honesty, because I have nothing better to do at that particular time and I never really have any intention of actually getting to know them. I don't know, maybe I'm destined to be a hermit because I rather like being alone :P

Adam levine is up there... I'll give you that. :gj:

Thank you Mike, I will change that. And IDK, people make enough jokes about "never having to look far for a relationship when you're bi" and I just don't care for it. It narrows my options down and I look for totally different things in each gender which makes it hard to compare. So, I just decide if I want to be with one or the other. Mind you, there are cases where I will make an exception and end up being with either, but for the most part it's just easier emotionally for me.

Everyone has their own particular brand of crazy (all humans are bat poop crazy). The key to a good relationship is finding the person, whose crazy blends well with yours. You'll know when you find it.

And I'm totally more for Johnny Depp than Adam, but either one is great eye candy in my book

Just for the record i'd be very ok with dating Shakira too. In case any of you know her or anything...

EDIT: totally ok if shes bad with cars too. I won't mind.

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Originally Posted by Royal Chick

Thank you Mike, I will change that.

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Yea, idk, just seems like a more realistic requirement imo. Also, always open with the line "wanna come over and see my balls?!"

Just a suggestion... I've found that if you make a list of what someone must/must not have or do, you're going to end up unhappy. If your list includes things like "isn't an addict" - you're looking in the wrong places. That should be a given.

Focus on what's important (hint to you punctual types... - is being 15 minutes late really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things?? Why??)

I'm with Mike on the "supports my hobbies/interests", but I'd add things like "is loyal", "I can laugh with", "is kind", "I am genuinely interested in (as a person)"...

We all have deal killers - and should. But if you make those deal killers trivial... good luck.

This is a dating thread, so here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_fN_ToDSRk
from my favorite motivational speaker.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Before even reading any responses...

Yea, change this one to: "Respects and supports my interests/hobbies."

I don't "need" a chick that loves reptiles or snakes. In fact, i'd almost prefer she has her own hobbies so that way we each have our own things we like. As long as she supports me, is willing to go to expos, sorta pretend to understand why I get so excited over stupid stuff lol, etc., then thats good enough for me.

I'm not the best with cars or the likes so I'm on the lookout for a mechanic. You know, like Michelle Rodriguez, in Fast and Furious.... :D

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This has been the story for my girlfriend and me. She doesn't have an interest in reptiles (she does like Enzo though :D), but she respects and supports my hobby/interest and has gone with me on my road trips to expos (for some reason she seems to enjoy my company :P ). It's worked out well so far as we celebrated our 1 year anniversary yesterday, so if it's the right person, it definitely can be done. :D

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Yea, idk, just seems like a more realistic requirement imo. Also, always open with the line "wanna come over and see my balls?!"

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She would've slapped me if I said this lol.

Well, like I said they are being added to a list. Not a tangible one of course, but definitely things to look for in a person. My world pretty much revolves around my animals; I don't have time for someone who can't handle that so, yes, as trivial as it sounds it is a priority to me. And loyalty is something, I have learned, that is debatable in even the "best" relationships. I'm looking more for honest and accepting.

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Originally Posted by interloc

I think it's funny that you (a girl) thinks a guy needs to be punctual. Lol. Stereotypically the female is the one who makes us late. You have to be In The bathroom for days before you are ready to go. Lol.

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It can work either way....for three years i dated a guy who i worked with.....we started carpooling and later sold my car when we moved in together. Every am, i woke up early, showered, makeup and made breakfast AND lunch for both of us AND still waited out in the car for HIM 10 min plus, many times being late for work!!!!

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I hate when a chick doesn't understand I can't and won't hang out with them every day I'm in full time school an I work full time last thing I want to do on my little time off is spend it entertaining someone else. Not saying I don't wanna spend time with people but not when I'm swamped with stuff.

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Originally Posted by lyfoti05

She would've slapped me if I said this lol.

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If I use that on Shakira and get slapped, I assure you it will still be a win for me. ;)

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Originally Posted by NormanSnake

This is a dating thread, so here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_fN_ToDSRk
from my favorite motivational speaker.

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Hey norm, we should hangout sometime

HAHAHAHA YOU CAN'T SAY NO!

My favorite bit of advice on this particular subject is to quit looking. I know it sounds hokey, but sometimes it really does work. Sometimes when you quit actively looking for love, or "the one," you end up finding it right where you didn't expect it to be. May be someone that you already know, never considered as an option, but then through a series of events, they become an option and perhaps more. I'm not saying this is a surefire way to find love...and taking a week to "be single" isn't going to magically produce a husband/wife...but sometimes getting back to "you" clears your head a bit. Doesn't work for everyone...worked for me! :)

1) Like reptiles as much as you do, while still allowing each of you your own space and hobby. That is to say, somebody who understands and enjoys the same things you do, without taking your dreams and visions over AS their own, thus shutting you out of your own hobbies and passions.

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Originally Posted by Anatopism

1) Like reptiles as much as you do, while still allowing each of you your own space and hobby. That is to say, somebody who understands and enjoys the same things you do, without taking your dreams and visions over AS their own, thus shutting you out of your own hobbies and passions.

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I agree, if they were into reptiles they should have their animals and plans and you have your animals and plans. So, you help each other but still maintain your OWN collection.

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You also never know if you meet someone if they'll end up liking the reptile world even if they never initially expressed an interest in it. My boyfriend probably never would've gotten a snake of his own. Originally, our first snake was technically a birthday/Christmas present to me. But when we brought our Ball home and interacted with her, he suddenly became a reptile guy! :P He's not nearly as immersed as I am and isn't prone to "reptile nerd-outs" like me (but then again I AM making this my profession), but he was the one that wanted to get a bigger snake (which is why we got our BCI) and now he wants Bearded Dragons. He wants an anaconda one day in the future, when there's space for it.

So I would follow Mike's advice and look for someone that's okay with your hobbies. They might find out that they like reptiles too once they get the chance to be around them.

Yep. My boyfriend really didn't know anything about my snakes when we started dating. I explained a little bit of the genetics to him and hen started doing his own research. Now he has a few snakes of his own and we can both talk about the snakes :) I still do most of the maintenance but he does most of the feeding. It all works out.

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Originally Posted by Royal Chick

Thanks! Yeah, it's definitely eye opening, being bi doesn't help my situation either. Now I have to choose if I want to pursue a male, female, either, or stay single as long as possible... so complicated!!!

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being bi is great.....keeps all kinds of doors open!!!

It sounds like you're looking for a reasonable, mature person. The only things I can say on the topic:

1. They are wicked rare.

2. They are also looking for reasonable, mature people.


Focus on #2 and #1 stops mattering.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Hey norm, we should hangout sometime

HAHAHAHA YOU CAN'T SAY NO!

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I'd hang out with you. You seem like a cool enough dude. At least then I'd have someone to talk to about my balls! baha

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Originally Posted by MrLang

1. They are wicked rare.

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Off Topic: Being from the Mass/RI area I know what this means, but it's always funny to see someone else's reaction to "wicked" stuff when they're from other parts of the country.

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Originally Posted by Badger711

Off Topic: Being from the Mass/RI area I know what this means, but it's always funny to see someone else's reaction to "wicked" stuff when they're from other parts of the country.

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I'm from CT and I say wicked a lot haha. I actually try not to type it out as much, ill use a different adjective haha.

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Originally Posted by NormanSnake

I'd hang out with you. You seem like a cool enough dude. At least then I'd have someone to talk to about my balls! baha

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7:13pm mountain time on 4/24/13?

Why dont you look for someone on this forum?? You know they already like reptiles....ive found a couple guys on here, and the last one is my husband now! :D

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

7:13pm mountain time on 4/24/13?

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I meant I'd hang out with you possibly if you were in the same state. So, whenever you're in Oklahoma, although I'm not sure why you'd ever want to come here, we can hang out. IN A VERY PUBLIC PLACE. You stalker. Maybe we could convince Kodieh to come too. lol

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Originally Posted by NormanSnake

I meant I'd hang out with you possibly if you were in the same state. So, whenever you're in Oklahoma, although I'm not sure why you'd ever want to come here, we can hang out. IN A VERY PUBLIC PLACE. You stalker. Maybe we could convince Kodieh to come too. lol

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Your house seems public. I'll just play with your snakes while I wait for you to get out of class. Looks like changing the locks didn't help.... :D

EDIT: kodieh is my accomplice.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Your house seems public. I'll just play with your snakes while I wait for you to get out of class. Looks like changing the locks didn't help.... :D

EDIT: kodieh is my accomplice.

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I've been out of class for three hours. Nice try though. lol