How do we show people that snakes aren't what they are often portrayed to be?

This has been on my mind for a while now. I've always had an interest in reptiles and I think they are amazing. I haven't always been comfortable around them. I grew up with a mother that put it into me that all snakes were spontaneous and they didn't make good pets. I remember having small red ear slider turtles (2) as a youngin (too young to do any research on the animal myself; I think 3-4 years old) and we found out they needed a special type of lighting. My parents went to a special reptile store to find that out. The lady we talked to (she had gauges which I thought was cool) had a pet snake. I remember her talking about how the snake wasn't that bad to my mom while my mom had a bad reaction to it.

I got really into snakes last year. I was obsessed with snakes. It like sprung out of nowhere. I simply find them amazing. I found out about ball pythons and found this site and all. I got my snake on May 30th, 2012. 80 grams of sweetness (okay, she was a little feisty than that). I had never held a snake before. I had touched them before on the side. But I somehow found myself scared of holding a snake with a snake in a box from the mail in front of me with nobody else in the house that was going to pick it up. (I just ended up putting the entire bag in the cage! LOL!) I created a thread here talking about it and the replies were that I just needed to pick her up. I grabbed my trusty gardening glove, made sure I was alone, and picked her up (after the allotted settle down time of a week.) My hand was shaking THE ENTIRE TIME.

Now I realize my ball python is the sweetest thing ever. I feel confident handling her. I held a small boa recently too. I didn't really know how to deal with its activity at first, but the second time around was much smoother. So I've held two snakes in total. I'd feel okay about handling more/different species now.

What really spurred this post though was something that happened recently. I was on the floor with my ball python (she loves to find cracks and crevices in the couch) and a customer walked by [home business]. She didn't notice the snake but her husband did. I heard later ask him "AND IT WAS REAL?" I overheard and came out to where they could see me and I said, "She's real sweet. Do you want to touch her?" She declined rapidly. I don't think that was the best way to show her that my ball was not a monster. When walking back she walked around the perimeter of the living room.

Additionally, almost every one of my friends/family has been all "Snake! Ekk! Keep it away!" when I even mention her.

tl;dr
How would you suppose would be the best way for a common person to open a dialogue with people that snakes aren't monsters?

An episode of Snakebytes that covers this topic.
Hope it heps, good luck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXFofP-xcts

This is a great thread, and a great question! I was raised similarly, only my mom always said that snakes were evil and bad. When she came to visit (she only comes about once every 4 or 5 years) I just declined to even mention I had snakes. Thankfully they are quiet and pretty much 'not there' in their racks. It's disappointing that I have to 'hide' it, but my mom would have freaked and probably not stayed for her visit. :( I told my sister and best friend growing up. My sister's reaction was passively disapproving, and my friend's reaction was 'EEWWWW!!! Oh my GOD I can't believe you would KEEP something like that in your house!! I'm sorry, but I don't know if I could stay the night in your house, Kim." Gosh, like they're oozing out of the walls or something!! I've found that I either get good acceptance, eager to learn and openness... or total revolt and conclusion-jumping.

If only they knew that snakes aren't slimy........


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I dont force my love of snakes on my friends, though most are very interested and have a lot of questions once they find out just how many i actually own. I don't really think its my job to change someones mind about them, i just respect their boundaries and hope they will respect mine.
For example i have a friend with 15+ spiders.. personally they freak me out, but I am still interested in why she likes them, and want to know more about what she owns.. so I understand where some of my friends are coming from.

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Originally Posted by sissysnakes

I dont force my love of snakes on my friends

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Absolutely. But someone shouldn't dislike snakes because of lack of understanding and from ten feet away. I'm not trying to battle likes/dislikes, I want to foster understanding and respect.

Luckily most of my friends that come over like snakes at least a little. Some very enthusiastically want to hold them. I have one friend that doesn't own any pets of his own, but swears he is the ball python whisperer because of his very warm neck that seems to calm any snake down for hours.

My mother was very grossed out by most animals, especially reptiles. I'll never understand why everyone thinks reptiles are slimy. I could only keep a turtle if I did -everything- for it myself, and she regularly tried to claim she could smell it from the opposite end of the house and threatened to drop it in a pond one while I was at school. I've always been into animals, especially fish and reptiles.

It wasn't until November of 2012 that I held my first snake. I had pet them before, but I had no idea what holding them was like. I was amazed at how dense and muscular a four and a half foot bp was, and completely not floppy. I haven't held a baby bp yet. I'm still a bit wary of owning one or handling it. With a 4 pound snake in your lap, at least you can let it chill there and you always know where it is if it wanders a bit. I don't want to drop or lose a runaway baby.

When my co-workers found out I had snakes, they all responded negatively. One of them confessed to having an irrational fear of snakes. But then she started asking me questions about them. These started out as very simple, basic questions like "what do you keep them in?" etc. And I would just answer the question. I always answered in a way that opened the door for her to ask more questions, but I didn't force information on her - I just let her ask. I did make it clear that I was always willing to talk about my snakes and that I didn't mind her asking her questions.

Those basic questions led to some very in-depth questions and now we talk about my snakes almost every day. AND she now wants to come to my house to see them! She says she doesn't want to hold anybody, but that will come later, lol. It is very gratifying that she has overcome her general distaste of snake and has developed a genuine curiosity about them.

I am actually confindent now that if she were to come across a snake in her back yard, she wouldn't freak out and want to kill it. She knows that they have value and she can respect them for what they are. :gj::gj::gj:

I always found it interesting that children are much more open minded when it comes to reptiles. Actually, they're usually more open minded about everything.

For halloween this past year, I dressed up while I was handing out candy and I had Athena around me. While the parents didn't want to go near her, the kids absolutely loved her! There wasn't a single kid who didn't want to pet her. (While I also remember this one kid's dad who went all the way back to the sidewalk cause he wanted NOTHING to do with her.

With adults I think it just takes time and slow interactions. My mom was terrified when I first brought my girl home but now she gladly cuddles with her on the couch.

As for me, I was never afraid of snakes but I wasn't in love with them either. It was until I held my friend's mother's old man of a ball python, (29 years old), that I completely fell in love with him because he was just the sweetest thing.

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Originally Posted by Evenstar

I always answered in a way that opened the door for her to ask more questions

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How was that accomplished?

I have friends that range from "wwww you have snakes???" to friends that actually own snakes themselves. I have no been able to convince those with irrational fear of snakes to overcome it. however some of my more open minded friends has been brave enough to attempt to hold my bps and the instantly they do my bps generally dispels the monster myths. I find that my calmer bps are more popular with the non snake folks. Especially useful is when ball up and I can explain to my frds handling the snake that they do this because they are scare. This tends to make my frds more interested and less tense.

However I havn't been able to convince my "eww snake" friends to even approach my snakes

"I always answered in a way that opened the door for her to ask more questions"

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Originally Posted by Poseidon

How was that accomplished?

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For example, she once asked me, "What do you keep them in?" (meaning what kind of cages do I use). I told her I keep them in a rack system (then I explained what that was and what it looked like). She then asked if they had enough room. Instead of just answering yes, they're fine, I explained to her that BPs will often live their entire lives in a single termite mound in Africa. That led her to ask how they found food and I told her that they are primarily ambush preditors, but that they can actually "see" a rodent in "infrared" thanks to their heat pits which allow them to pick up on a rodent's heat signature. One thing leads to another and that one question, what do you keep them in, led to a 20min discussion on a snake's environment and how they find food and eat!

The point is, you don't want to innundate someone with too much information, but you DO want to give them enough so that they 1) learn and 2) feel invited to learn more.

I also flat-out told her that I understood her fears, but if she felt curious I loved to talk about my snakes so she was welcome to ask questions any time any where. We don't want to force information on anyone, but we do want to make sure people know we are open! :gj:

I am lucky in that I was raised on a beef ranch and have had lots of different pets(cockatiels, cats, dogs, horses, ducks, chickens, etc). My uncle owned a scorpion at one point in time, but as far as I know my BP that I brought home was the first reptile in my family.

The first time my mother came to visit after I brought my BP home, she was genuinely interested, spent 30 minutes holding her, and was a bit sad I had fed two days prior, as she was very interested in watching the whole eating process.

My girlfriend's mother on the other hand is extremely afraid of snakes. When her parents came for a visit, we covered Kensa's cage with a light blanket as even the sight of one would send her mother into a fit. People react differently, and you just have to be respectful of them and their fears. I would love to try and help her overcome her fear, as Kensa is very important in my life, unfortunately I don't see it changing anytime soon.

In my opinion, you can't push your friends, you must be open to answer any questions they have, but forcing them to touch or hold them may only reaffirm their fears.

Unfortunately this is something all snake keepers will experience at some point in time I am sure. How we handle these situations may help or hurt our hobby in the future.

My neighbors wife is terrified of snakes, one of our friends loves them tho so both girls came over to see the snakes a month ago, the one lady held everyone looked at them all and was upset over how my four new rescues were being taken care off before I got them. The lady scared of them looked at them made some comments on how she can see how the rescues aren't healthy compaire to the ones I've had for ages, she got up the nerve to hold my normal male. Then they wanted to see the carpet I took her out for them and the lady scared of snakes held out her arms and had big girl crawl onto her she was scared but once she noticed even a seven foot snake isn't gonna mistake her for a snack she got excited and fell in love lol

My upstairs neighbor is TERRIFIED of snakes. She knows its irrational, but she just can't even look at them. I told her I do have snakes, and if she ever wants to learn about them or overcome her fears, she knows where to go! I respect her fears and I never bring out my snakes in front of her or even talk about them unless she brings them up.

Some people will just never get over the fear. I do my best to respect their fears and leave the snakes out of conversation. This is how I deal with most of my family. Occasionally people will ask questions about them, and I do something similar to what Evenstar does, give an informative answer that might generate further conversation. I once talked to my grandmothers friends for a good 20 minutes about ball pythons. They were impressed I knew so much! :)

This summer I had a snake out in front of my house to take some pictures and some kids biked by and were super interested in the snakes. I talked about them for a little while, then they became curious enough to touch the snake, and one girl even held one of them. I'm sure that these kids have never had this kind of contact with a snake before. I'm glad I could give them a positive experience that may spark their own love for reptiles.

Adults are a whole different story. My mother still hates my snakes. That's cool. I never bring them up unless she does. Maybe one day she will come around ;)

I believe that having knowledge, and giving them information peaks their curiosity, even if they are afraid (like my GF was) I did a lot of research found out a lot of stuff and shared my knowledge. At first she didn't understand why I wanted one and was hesitant at the idea, but I explained everything I found out, where they sleep, the temperature, different morphs, etc. She got interested, began asking her own questions, and when I finally got him she wanted to touch him. Of course she was still scared but eventually she began to get more comfortable. Plus I believe seeing how comfortable I was around him even though I never owned a snake on my own, made her feel comfortable enough to see if he wasn't attacking me he wont attack her. I also told her that they're more skiddish and nervous snakes so they don't attack often they mostly roll up into a ball.

She finds him adorable now and loves to hold him whenever I take him out, I believe if you can peak someones curiosity and have them ask you questions you've already slightly opened a door. :)

Patience, a good, calm snake, and don't push it. I deal with a LOT of skittish moms and dads, boyfriends, girlfriends, friends, etc that come in to the stores (or in my personal life) that end up falling in love with them.

It's easier when there's no pressure on them, and there's someone around who does love the snakes or at the very least isn't overly scared of them. Seeing someone else calmly learning to embrace them encourages people to try it themselves. One of my (guy) friends was raised up TERRIFIED of snakes. He couldn't even hear me talking about them without kind of freaking out. One of his roommates is an old old friend of his, and fell in love with one of my baby retics. He heard about his friend holding the snake and playing with it while he wasn't around, and started coming around - asking me questions here and there, mentioning pics he saw me post from work, even going so far as to asking if I'd brought one over he could check out and maybe hold.

Not everyone comes around, but by removing pressure from people, there's no reason for them not to at the very least be able to tolerate them. I've had moms come in that would scream at the sight of the snakes see their children petting them, and eventually hold the snakes themselves. My favorites are when the family member most scared of snakes initially becomes the one in love with them and breeding them!

It can also help to introduce reptiles that aren't snakes but maybe a little bit similar. Sometimes people are more comfortable starting with my blue tongues (ironically, the friend I mentioned earlier can't handle the blue tongue [which he calls a "basilisk monster"], but is doing alright with snakes) than with snakes, or my leopard geckos, and eventually when they realize that they can handle one of those, maybe a snake wouldn't be too bad after all.

The biggest thing that I've seen personally is that removing any pressure to like, hold, or touch the snakes is what helps most. I've seen parents force their kids to hold or pet the reptiles and the kids end up crying, screaming, and running out - wives refuse to come in to the store again, boyfriends get flustered and start yelling and leave, it just doesn't end pretty. Let people get their own curiosity up, slowly expose them to the reptiles in a way that they don't feel like they have to react, and try to have at least the first few interactions end positively. Make em laugh if you can. If you're a girl, crack a ball joke - if you feel comfortable, anyway.

Baby steps! Eventually, we'll get the world to love snakes. :)

-Jen

Put them in a fur hoodie so they are soft and fluffy and say wanna see my ferret?

My wife is terrified of snakes, I keep mine in a climate controlled shed in the back yard. Her fear is never going to be cured, she doesn't want to be cured. I don't push the issue, I respect her fear and we don't have problems. I share this because it is important to understand some people are very sensitive!

I do snake shows all the time at the local elementary school. If you have no fear and are super excited as you tell them how cool and harmless they are, you'll be surprised at the numbers of people who will get excited about them. I think the best way to help skeptical naive people to open their minds is for them to see others get excited about them. Be excited!

Being excited about your hobby or pets is something that is usually infectious to others. As Jen mentioned, it makes an enormous difference when you take the pressure away. Not everyone is going to come around, and simply respecting their boundries whether its "I don't want to hold it" or "I don't want to hear about the reptiles" puts them in control. Nobody likes being forced to do anything, so when it is simply an option or they see the positive side of keeping reptiles and the interesting facts about them it leaves room for their personal curiosity to come around.

Many of my co workers have written me off as that crazy snake lady (and now roach lady) but it's affectionate, and most of them know that if they hear/see/read anything reptile related I can bring up a great conversation. It's been enough to convince one of them to wait on my first clutch in order to get a baby ball eventually :P Long wait, but it makes me smile

Lots of good advice! I'll try to actively incorporate all of it into my reptile related life.

The child I babysit asked what the "birdcage" was in my room. It was an aquarium wrapped in blankets, LOL. I pulled out my snake for her, and she seems to really enjoy her. She didn't want to hold her the first time, but the second time, I saw that hand supporting that tail! :D So we held her together. I am surprised her mother hasn't mentioned it. I don't know how snake friendly she is.

And my mother has nicknamed my new snake already! I've got a friend that is (was??) terrified of snakes signed up to hold her after she's settled into her home. I'm feeling good!

My sister gave me a horrified look when I said that the new snake is about 3 feet. Hopefully she'll see her and she that is huge and terrifying, and snake scaredness will be chipped away a little.

What works for me 90% of the time to at the very least give the other person some perspective, is stating "What's actually kind of silly about ball pythons specifically, is that they are generally very shy, and especially as babies, will hide their head with the rest of their body. They're great for people who are afraid of snakes because people start off hyperventalating or very anxious [I will mime or act out these behaviors] and then ask me if the snake is ever going to DO anything, because the person's adrenaline runs out before the ball python could work up the courage to even see if it's safe to move around again!"

I've used this story God knows how many times. I play up the anthropomorphism, so that the individual, without intending to, develops a sense of empathy towards the "sad, scared little helpless animal" while simultaneously connecting their feelings to a reptile. I have a friend at work who is phobic, and used to say 'SICK.' and visibly gag when I would mention snakes. I can tell her sad stories now, and she'll say "I don't even like them, but that's sad" or "awww :(" in response.

Depending on the individual, I've also used stories of my children's python that was a total jerk... constantly trying to murder me. You'd think this would be counter intuitive, but when I explained to people that he was thinner than a pencil, while also laughing at the absurdity of such a tiny animal incapable of doing me any harm but still being full of fire, gets people laughing with me, asking questions, or adopting some of the same sense of absurdity, therefore reducing any feelings of disgust, hatred, or fear they held previously :)

Working up to people who have heard the 'easier' stories, I talk about my ex's Dumeril's... who was 6ft... to which most non-snake people, even the somewhat initiated, might gasp (they still don't realize that the 'big' dumerils is still not a real danger to me). I tell them about how we could put her on the bed, or couch, and she'd just... not move.. for hours. That she was perfectly content to just hang out for a while... or that we could squish the mushy bits on her face and she'd continue to just sit there. I'd also tell people about how she was the most lethargic f/t rat eater out there.. that we would put rats on top of her hide, and she's just slug-roll her way out (in conversation with people, I'm miming/acting and completely playing up the slooowness), and just swallow the rat as if "yeaaaah oooohh kaaay, I sssuuuupppose I'll eat". ... Again, playing up the humor, and giving people a sense of personality and individual character, that they can relate to.

I know many people are anti anthropomorphism with their pets, particularly snakes.... but if I can get people who are fearful of snakes or who don't understand them, to connect on an emotional level, so that they are more receptive to the education that follows, I've made a giant step forward. I hear all the time on this forum about people who have encounters all day long from people who hate their snakes and openly express it.... I work in a corporate insurance environment... believe me when I say it is censored and coated with a nice layer of big-brotherness. I interact with people from all walks of life, and I FIND reasons to bring up my snakes to strangers... in the elevator or hotel lobby I just stayed at for work, on the airplane going to visit my family (or even to the TSA agents!), in line at the grocery store, you name it. I rarely have many of the reactions I hear about, and when I do, I'm quick to intercept and redirect the feelings in the ways noted above, and I've been pretty successful.

I try to engage their emotions, and I'm always enthusiastic, but not obsessive. Don't go over people's heads with terminology... learn how to simplify your language so you don't sound prudish. Don't be shocked or angry when people don't give the reaction you want.. it only turns people off. Fight fear and ignorance with charisma and charm ;)

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Originally Posted by LLLReptile

The biggest thing that I've seen personally is that removing any pressure to like, hold, or touch the snakes is what helps most. I've seen parents force their kids to hold or pet the reptiles and the kids end up crying, screaming, and running out

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THIS. Don't force people to like snakes. You can't. I hated working at a pet store when parents would make their kids do it. I had one dad even threaten a daughter with grounding if she didn't. With children (and even some adults), I've done the exact same thing I do with my bird when he's afraid of a new toy... I intentionally don't allow him to play with it, while showing interest and [controlled] enthusiasm towards the object. I describe the texture in detail, or point out unique patterns, that tend to make the person/child lean closer, or volunteer to touch the side. If the situation is right, I'll offer to contain the head (not holding tight, just directing it's path) and allow the person to hold just the back end, ensuring their safety.

I always loved parents that were gently encouraging, and not forceful :)


Sometimes toilet humor works too.. actually... my carpet is scary for a lot of people to handle. She's much different from the balls and much more stringy and flighty. People loosen up a little bit when I inform them that she is considerably more likely to poop on them than to bite. She hasn't bit in two years...but she poops about 2/3 of the time I have her out (oof).

Getting people who are scared to anything to turn over a new leaf is often a difficult task. Irrational fears of different things, whether living, or inanimate are tough to overcome. People who are scared of snakes are often determined to remain scared of snakes, just like people who are scared of guns are often determined that they will remain scared of them. In both cases we're often dealing with a lack of exposure and education about the subject at hand. It doesn't help that the only exposure most people get on such topics (especially the two I've referenced thus far) is the medias spin on the animals or objects. I have snakes in the classroom I teach in, and every year during open house, when the parents come to meet their kids' teachers, etc, I have at least one parent flip out on me about how I'm endangering their kid by having "deadly" pythons stalking their every move.

With the snakes it's a little easier to address peoples' fears of them because they can see how other people interact with the animals and how the animals don't go for the kill on any of the other peoples' children. Just seeing other people interact with the animals will often spark conversation which opens the door for a lot of the advice that has already been given. For some reason it is different for a lot of people to see someone else that is new or skeptical about snakes take the plunge and actually interact with one than it is for them to see you interact with the animal in a similar manner.

Of course, picking the right animal to introduce people to is a big part of the puzzle as well. I have a female ball that thinks she is a rattlesnake. I typically don't even mention this animal to people who are leery of snakes because she is everything they fear about snakes (except for the part about being too small to eat them) all rolled up into one little package. She hisses, strikes, and is just plain ole nasty to anyone that messes with her. On the contrary I have a male fire ball that is the most tolerant animal I've ever seen. He is inquisitive, but extremely calm and docile, and he isn't at all head-shy, so he never makes any sudden / quick movements. He's a great animal for getting people over the hump if they're at least willing to watch others interact with him.

In the end, there are some people who are set in their opinions and you're not going to change that. My wife is coming around, and may eventually not hate my snakes, but my mother won't even come in our house because of the couple that I keep at home. As the old saying goes "you win some, you lose some".

Easy to show snakes aren't monsters, I've shown exactly this to my friends and family.

I don't have any adult snakes at the moment. But I borrow a Bothrops asper and a Naja kaouthia, take them out of the box and walk away.

See what the snake does, and it will always try and find somewhere to hide.

Even the Bothrops which is an absolute nutcase, it strikes like crazy initially with typical flying Bothrops behaviour. But as soon as you back off it calms down.

Any animal will be defensive if they feel uncomfortable, different animals have difference tolerance levels with regards to how close they will allow you to come before defending themselves.

The reason I use venomous snakes is because they have the worst reputation of possibly any animal in the world. Due to showmen on TV, purposely teasing them and making them seem overly aggressive, when actually if you watch the program the snake is trying to flee!

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Originally Posted by Poseidon

This has been on my mind for a while now. I've always had an interest in reptiles and I think they are amazing. I haven't always been comfortable around them. I grew up with a mother that put it into me that all snakes were spontaneous and they didn't make good pets. I remember having small red ear slider turtles (2) as a youngin (too young to do any research on the animal myself; I think 3-4 years old) and we found out they needed a special type of lighting. My parents went to a special reptile store to find that out. The lady we talked to (she had gauges which I thought was cool) had a pet snake. I remember her talking about how the snake wasn't that bad to my mom while my mom had a bad reaction to it.

I got really into snakes last year. I was obsessed with snakes. It like sprung out of nowhere. I simply find them amazing. I found out about ball pythons and found this site and all. I got my snake on May 30th, 2012. 80 grams of sweetness (okay, she was a little feisty than that). I had never held a snake before. I had touched them before on the side. But I somehow found myself scared of holding a snake with a snake in a box from the mail in front of me with nobody else in the house that was going to pick it up. (I just ended up putting the entire bag in the cage! LOL!) I created a thread here talking about it and the replies were that I just needed to pick her up. I grabbed my trusty gardening glove, made sure I was alone, and picked her up (after the allotted settle down time of a week.) My hand was shaking THE ENTIRE TIME.

Now I realize my ball python is the sweetest thing ever. I feel confident handling her. I held a small boa recently too. I didn't really know how to deal with its activity at first, but the second time around was much smoother. So I've held two snakes in total. I'd feel okay about handling more/different species now.

What really spurred this post though was something that happened recently. I was on the floor with my ball python (she loves to find cracks and crevices in the couch) and a customer walked by [home business]. She didn't notice the snake but her husband did. I heard later ask him "AND IT WAS REAL?" I overheard and came out to where they could see me and I said, "She's real sweet. Do you want to touch her?" She declined rapidly. I don't think that was the best way to show her that my ball was not a monster. When walking back she walked around the perimeter of the living room.

Additionally, almost every one of my friends/family has been all "Snake! Ekk! Keep it away!" when I even mention her.

tl;dr
How would you suppose would be the best way for a common person to open a dialogue with people that snakes aren't monsters?

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im exactly the same!! im 26 and grew up liking snakes but never held one and barely touched any...there was a guy who has been living on my street for two years that i never spoke to until he realized i ride motorcycles and we started talking...well he has snakes and i always asked questions about them and i finally seen them (still wouldnt hold them) finally a reptile expo show came around and he invited me and i ended up buying two small ball pythons...i figured i could get comfortable with my own snakes and get more familiar with things as they grow!!! so now ive gotten much better with handling them but im still nervous alot when their heads start comin to my fingers or something...i just always think they can bite me out of no where so i try to just hold them from the middle of the body!! and sometimes im a coward and pick up gloves myself!! overall though im in love with snakes and really hope i can break out of my fear 100% its been 2 months since i had them so im still learning!!