Duff - 1996 to 2013

On a cold spring day in 1996, my then girlfriend and I drove out to Tracy to pick up an 8 week old staffordshire bull terrier puppy from Stoutheart Kennels. We picked a sweet and gentle brindle and white male who we named Duff.

For the next 16 years, Duff was witness to some of the happiest moments of our lives. He was lying on the bed when I proposed to my wife, he was the first of our family through the door when we moved into the first house we bought together and he was the loyal and loving nursemaid to our two children - patiently putting up with baby grabs and gropes, rough house play, awkward hugs and sloppy kisses. He slept under their cribs and watched over them when they played in the yard.

While I travelled, I always knew he was watching over and protecting our family, ready to lay his life down for my wife and the two kids he loved. When I would come home, he would accompany me on my hikes and my mountain bike rides.

He was one of those dogs that house trained really easily, got along well with other dogs at the park and never strayed to far from us when we walked him off leash. His dutifully stayed out of the garbage, accepted all of our other furry and scaly pets, and passed on his good manners to our patterdale terrier, Dixie.

As the years went on, we marveled at how well he was aging. A touch of arthritis in the back legs at 14, greying around his once dark muzzle and a slight cloudy to his eyes were the only signs that betrayed his age.

About two month ago, his legs really began to fail. He also began having little incontinence issues, difficulty breathing and was having sporadic issues keeping food down. He rallied around New Years and we put thoughts of his impending mortality out of our minds...........

...........until last Friday when his rear legs finally gave up the ghost. He began whimpering and losing almost total control of his bowels. He lost all interest in food. By Sunday, he was obviously in pain and we made the decision all pet owners fear they will have to make one day.

On Monday the 18th of February, in our living room, on his bed with both of his blankets, he was peacefully put to sleep with the family he loved (both furry and non-furry) for 16 years at his side. Our vet was kind enough to make an exception for us and perform the procedure at our house. He was carried out in his bed, wrapped in his blankets by my son and I. He will be cremated privately and his ashes will be returned to us.

I leave for work at 4:30 in the morning, but always check on the kids on my way out the door. This morning, as I tucked the sheet back around my daughter I noticed that she was hugging his old food bowl to her chest................

Even though we have two cats and another dog, the house seems empty without him shuffling after me from room to room and despite a wife and two kids, I'm oddly lonely sitting here at the computer without him licking my bare legs.

It saddens me that as time progresses, I will lose the sharp grief of this week. I think back to how time has dulled the loss of other pets and even family and friends and I'm thinking that I don't want this loss to be dulled so quickly. Somehow I feel that if I can carry a piece of this with me to my final days, that it will insure that - if there is an afterlife - that I will have the opportunity to see Duff again, to apologize for any times that I ignored him, that I lost my temper with him or took his love and loyalty for granted.

Rest in peace Duffy. You family misses you terribly.

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I'm so sorry Skip. That is so tough to go through. My thoughts are with you and your family. :(

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I know that pain. I had to make that decision last year myself. My girl was 5 and had liver failure. It was by far the hardest decision I ever made. I'm sorry for you and your family.

My condolences for you and your family.

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My condolences. Sounds like both your family and he were lucky to be a part of each others lives.

Regards,

B

So sorry for your loss. Putting down a faithful friend and family member is so hard to do. You have my deepest sympathies. :tears:

My condolences to you and your family

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Thank you for sharing Duff's beautiful story with us. I know your pain - it's always hard to make that decision, especially when they have shared so much of our lives and special moments with us. Duff was one lucky dog - he had a great family. That part about your daughter and his food bowl just really got to me. I'm really sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry for your loss, this story actually brought a tear to my eyes. I care for my dogs more than I do most people. I am afraid of this day. Just remember he is no longer suffering and always remember the good times with him.

My eyes welled up when reading this not for the loss, but for the beauty of the friendship you had. Companionship is a blessing and a curse.

I'll leave this touching, light-hearted comic here that your story reminded me of:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox

So sorry for your loss Skip.

RIP, my condolences to you and your family

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MrLang

My eyes welled up when reading this not for the loss, but for the beauty of the friendship you had. Companionship is a blessing and a curse.

I'll leave this touching, light-hearted comic here that your story reminded me of:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox

---

I just about crapped myself laughing at this.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'm about to lose my little buddy born in 1996 as well. :(

Sorry for your loss Skip. May your wish of holding on to your feelings of loss come true for you - I know and understand that feeling myself.

Darn those onion cutting ninjas...

I am so sorry for the loss of your family member.

My deepest and most heartfelt sympathy goes out to you Skip. I know what it is to have to make that awful choice. It's one I made myself a few months ago, and it surprises me sometimes how the grief and pain that I thought were growing faint can suddenly return so sharp and real.

And yes, it does seem wrong how quickly the grief can fade. Life takes over and the hustle and bustle of everyday things make the time spent grieving even shorter. It seems almost before you know it you struggle to remember your friends habits and the day to day routine you shared. It makes you angry sometimes, how could you forget and move on so soon? What's wrong with you to feel and act like that time spent together meant so little? How could you betray that love and trust and bond so easily?

Then the time will come when a certain place, a certain sound, maybe even a certain smell will come to you, and all that grief comes back in a tidal wave. You find yourself dwelling on every cherished memory you have of your friend. The way they looked, the funny things they did, objects they cherished, places you went together. And still the grief keeps rolling over you, and you feel lost and alone.

By and by though, you reach a kind of middle ground. The memories are still there, and the grief, but somehow they become your allies instead of your enemies. You can talk about the good times you shared without drowning in tears. You can touch on the grief of losing your friend without wallowing in it. And yet, from time to time, that grief will return as sharp as ever. And when it does, sometimes it's best just to let it have it's way. Then, when it subsides again, you feel a little stronger than you did before. And you realize that no matter how much time goes by, the memories you cherish will never fade completely, and that's ok.

Gale

Terribly sorry for this heartbreak your family is experiencing... :( Praying for peace and comfort for you all in the days ahead. RIP Duff. <3

"There is one best place to bury a dog.
If you bury him in this spot, he will
come to you when you call - come to you
over the grim, dim frontier of death,
and down the well-remembered path,
and to your side again.

And though you call a dozen living
dogs to heel, they shall not growl at
him, nor resent his coming,
for he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see
no lightest blade of grass bent by his
footfall, who hear no whimper, people
who may never really have had a dog.
Smile at them, for you shall know
something that is hidden from them,
and which is well worth the knowing.

The one best place to bury a good
dog is in the heart of his master."

--- Ben Hur Lampman 1925 ---

Sorry for your loss, you wrote a beautiful homage to your companion and while the grief will fade the memories will remain with you until the end

That sucks, he had a happy life though. He looks like a happy boy in all of those pics!

I'm sorry to hear he's gone, but again, a lucky beast to have had you and your family as his family.

And that cartoon was pretty darn funny.

I'm so sorry for your loss!

Your story made me cry (and I'm usually not so emotional). I can understand where you're coming from and I envy the relationship you have with your dog. Duff was more of a third child than a dog and it was very clear that Duff enjoyed taking care of your family when you were not around.

I guess your story hits home because I'll be making the same decision soon, I fear. My dog is 14 and is epileptic, has a heart murmur, the vet says he probably has cancer, he's partially paralyzed from the waist down (a slipped disk and back surgery to correct it), and is starting to be incontinent of his bowels. He was only supposed to live to 11.

I hope your heart can heal as well as your family's. It sounds like your little girl is taking it hard and I'll say a little prayer for peace for her especially.

My deepest sympathies to you and your family, Skip. I have 6 dogs and each one is like a child to my husband and me. I know the pain you are feeling and I am truly sorry for your loss. The special ones never leave us and you will be together again one day.

Thank you for sharing those beautiful memories with us. My condolences and hopes go to you that you never forget the things that that made him yours. That really tore me up.

My condolences. If I could change one thing about dogs.....it would be to extend their life span. No friendship/companionship compares to that of the canine kind, at least in my opinion. Duff lived an amazingly long life with you, and was a very lucky dog, and he knew it. I hope that mine now live as full of a life as he did!

I lost my heart dog back in 2008. I think of her to this day. Amazing how they have such an impact on us. Sometimes we don't even realize how they go through everything we go through in life, right by our side. They are the one constant. Always there, no matter what.

On a side note, I have a couple Patterdales too! Don't hear of too many around!

I haven't much to say about this. I'm truly sorry about your loss, and I understand how painful an experience like this is. Last year, our Siamese cat was put down, unfortunately without my notice. God, did I love that cat. He made it to year 17 and was a purring hugbox! My grieving was what filled me up the rest of those weeks, and let me tell you, losing a best friend is not a way to spend Valentine's Day. But, as we may still grieve from now and then, we are always grateful for the memories they left us with, be it Duff's witness to every new chapter of your life, from marriage, a new house, and your children, or even my cat's purring lullaby as he accompanied me into my dreams, they will always be with us in our hearts.

Bully breeds are the most amazing, and the most heart breaking of all pets in my experience. They are long lived, have the most amazing personalities, and steal a time and place in your heart that most people would be hard pressed to occupy. I know this loss you suffered is almost 5 months old now. But since the loss of my pit bull Ruby, I find it very hard to even open this section of the forum and so I have just read this today. It has been almost 2 years since I lost my girl to cancer at almost 16 years of age. And even now after reading your story of your lost companion I find myself reduced to tears. I know that time heals all wounds, but the loss of a member of the family so instrumental as this I don't believe ever goes away completely. Even now one of the happiest times of my life; recently finding out that we are going to have a new baby in our lives. I find myself thinking of my lost companion Ruby. I truly hope that you and your family are able to find peace with your loss. And know that Duff had a fantastic life with you and is now at peace. But if my own experience is any indicator, I highly doubt that the sense of loss and loneliness you felt from lissing him will dull anytime soon. If ever.
All the best to you and your family.
Jason Ladouceur.

Oh gosh :tears:
I'm sorry for your loss. Your post reminded me of the ending of Marley & Me. Which made me tear up even more. I dread this day.
I'm a nurse & encounter death quite often. With humans, I've grown to build a well-thought-out reasoning & justification of death for myself to ease the sadness. But with animals, it's so much harder.