Mini Rant + Suggestions needed.

So, my neighbor (also a life science teacher) approaches me about me letting him borrow a snake to use in his classroom. I agreed and ran though all the care and other things he needed to know. And i set him free. A tub, snake, dimmer thermostat, heat pad, and thermometer. I initially gave him 3 rats to feed this snake and told him where to purchase more or IF he needed me to supply him id be more than happy to do so if he paid. So about 6 weeks went by and i decided to swing b his room to see how things were going. OH MY GOD. He first hadn't fed the snake in 3 weeks, hadn't cleaned the cage, didn't have fresh water (bedding in the water and it was moldy) no thermometer or dimmer in use. and melted tub from the heatpad! Plus to top it off he didn't feed correctly after i showed him how and somehow the snake had an RI.... I TOLD HIM HOW TO SPOT AN RI!!!! what the heck! i love this guy and hes a family friend but really? I give you a pastel ball python to keep for a year and he disrespects me like this? ( i view it as disrespect). i am beside my self. On a good note the snake was of good size so lack of feeding for 3 weeks wasn't that big or a deal, the RI is almost cleared up. I just had to get that out there for snake people to see:D For the suggestions. how do i politely say that i am disappointed and he will NOT be getting the snake back even if "his students will be so disappointed"

Thanks for reading

I don't think saying: "Hey, I'm not comfortable giving this snake back to you to care for since you didn't care for it to begin with" is not polite at all, it's the truth. I sure wouldn't lend him one of my snakes again if he didn't care for it - tough cookies for him. I'm glad you have her back though and she's getting well again with proper care. I'm surprised the heat pad didn't burn her through the tub when left unregulated, yikes.

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Originally Posted by Daybreaker

I don't think saying: "Hey, I'm not comfortable giving this snake back to you to care for since you didn't care for it to begin with" is not polite at all, it's the truth. I sure wouldn't lend him one of my snakes again if he didn't care for it - tough cookies for him. I'm glad you have her back though and she's getting well again with proper care. I'm surprised the heat pad didn't burn her through the tub when left unregulated, yikes.

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melted it.and im pretty sure the RI is because she was on the opposite side of the tub where it was TOO cold to escape the heat

I'd be honest with him while not being rude, even though I know that may be hard to refrain from doing. That is completely unnecessary especially since you set him up.

That sounds like a very...odd proposition. I doubt the guy will give you any grief about it, but don't make up a "my wife wants it back"/"the kids miss it" line.

Just lay it on him, as long as you said in the beginning "here's how to care for it" and added a "any questions or concerns just ask" then just lay out your concerns, and what you want to happen. If you're in the same school, make a habit of stopping by DAILY to check on the snake. Feed it yourself, if you feel do inclined.

I personally wouldn't mind lending out a snake of my for educational purposes. I mean, my wife is 3/4 the way through a bachelors in teaching for high school biology. We've already discussed me displaying some of my reptiles in her class room and I've made it clear that I will be micro managing every aspect; even if I'm there every day of the week. That's just the way I am about my reptiles. I have a room mate with me right now too, he's well informed that anyone friends he has over the snakes stay up.

If you really want the snake back in proper care, immediately, then just go get it. It's not his property after all. The snakes welfare is more important than a wow factor in a classroom.


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"I'm sorry but I gave you very specific instructions on how I wished you to care for my pet. Because you failed to follow through on most of the instructions, put my pet at risk with a dangerous set up, allowed my pet to become ill and did not treat the illness, I will not allow you to care for my pet again. You may tell your students that until you can follow the instructions given, you will not be displaying any of my animals again."

Since you went overboard with specific instructions, to make it as EASY and FOOLPROOF as possible and he failed in so many ways, I would not really attempt to sugar coat much of anything.

You could also point out it was the equivalent of him taking your dog and tying it out in the sun without water or food for 3 days while it was sick. 3 weeks without food isn't a big deal, but unregulated heat, untreated RI, no fresh water, filthy conditions... that's neglect and endangerment.

On a side note, I've ALWAYS ended up regretting every single pet I've sent into a classroom situation to date. Every time, they say "I'll do it right" and every time the animal ends up in a poor situation, underfed, without proper heat, unregulated heat, dirty or no water, dirty caging... EVERY time. I'm sure that there are wonderfully responsible teachers keeping classroom pets in flawless conditions. I sure haven't encountered them myself yet.

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Originally Posted by Kodieh

That sounds like a very...odd proposition. I doubt the guy will give you any grief about it, but don't make up a "my wife wants it back"/"the kids miss it" line.

Just lay it on him, as long as you said in the beginning "here's how to care for it" and added a "any questions or concerns just ask" then just lay out your concerns, and what you want to happen. If you're in the same school, make a habit of stopping by DAILY to check on the snake. Feed it yourself, if you feel do inclined.

I personally wouldn't mind lending out a snake of my for educational purposes. I mean, my wife is 3/4 the way through a bachelors in teaching for high school biology. We've already discussed me displaying some of my reptiles in her class room and I've made it clear that I will be micro managing every aspect; even if I'm there every day of the week. That's just the way I am about my reptiles. I have a room mate with me right now too, he's well informed that anyone friends he has over the snakes stay up.

If you really want the snake back in proper care, immediately, then just go get it. It's not his property after all. The snakes welfare is more important than a wow factor in a classroom.


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its not with him. he wants it back. He teaches about 20 mins away. I didnt mind lending it out.... but i do mind neglect

Well, that's good. I would tell him to invest in an animal of his own. By that, I would hope it would teach him that there's a lot that goes into the care of it.

Stay firm, he had a chance and so easily squandered it.


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The way to deal with it is through polite confrontation. You want to keep a friend and also keep the animal safe. There are several ways about going through with it and you know your friend better than anyone on the forum. You also know how you approach people the best. So, remember polite confrontation and fix the situation. It is in your control.

"The kids will be so disappointed"

What a joke, and no freaking excuse for a second chance at neglect. I'd be livid if something like that had happened, especially after the lengths you went to make it as easy as possible. I bet the melting plastic fumes didn't help the RI at all

It would be absolutely in the realm of politeness to just say "I don't wish to put my animals back in your care after the state I found my snake in." Maybe offer to bring your animals in for a show and tell sort of thing. If he wants a snake in the classroom, he can buy one himself to kill (or hopefully learn how to do it properly and see why you wouldn't give him yours, who knows)

I am leery of people just seeing/holding my snakes in my own home. I couldnt imagine lending one out to someone. The only time i would even consider this is if it was to a member on here that i knew. But pretty much all of them have their own balls so i dont ever see that being a realistic scenario lol.

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Originally Posted by Daybreaker

I don't think saying: "Hey, I'm not comfortable giving this snake back to you to care for since you didn't care for it to begin with" is not polite at all, it's the truth. I sure wouldn't lend him one of my snakes again if he didn't care for it - tough cookies for him. I'm glad you have her back though and she's getting well again with proper care. I'm surprised the heat pad didn't burn her through the tub when left unregulated, yikes.

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ditto..no need to be polite..:colbert:

I just thought it was so easy? Use the 9 mins of breakto care for the snake each day THAT'S IT. But I guess that was too much

Oh wow, yea I never would have lent any of my snakes out to anyone. There's very, very few ppl I would even trust to care for my snakes if I was going to be away for awhile, let alone to lend for proposes other than them needing care. I don't understand how he can even think he's in the right at all wanting to continue having the snake....how do you not clean or feed it?!

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Originally Posted by Coleslaw007

....how do you not clean or feed it?!

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i know right?!

That's completely unacceptable! Be as polite as you can but like some of the others said be firm! Lay it on him in no uncertain terms that if he is not going to take proper care of it there is no way you will let him use it again. As others said he can buy one of his own if he is going to treat it this way. Sometimes you just have to set a friend straight whether they like it or not.

Wow. How awful. I agree with everyone else.
And tell him not cleaning the enclosure is the equivalent of not flushing the toilet for 3 weeks straight. It's very unsanitary and unhealthy. The melted tub sounds frightening, but I'm glad your snake didn't burn to death .... And if he didn't feed the snake, what happened to the rats you gave him? Did he starve them as well?
Overall, a huge case of neglect. Not to mention animal cruelty and endangerment.


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Just lay it out as you have to us. Tell him to take $50 and go buy a cheap normal from someone or to look one up on craigslist. If he wants to kill a snake let it be his own.

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Originally Posted by wolfy-hound

"I'm sorry but I gave you very specific instructions on how I wished you to care for my pet. Because you failed to follow through on most of the instructions, put my pet at risk with a dangerous set up, allowed my pet to become ill and did not treat the illness, I will not allow you to care for my pet again. You may tell your students that until you can follow the instructions given, you will not be displaying any of my animals again."

Since you went overboard with specific instructions, to make it as EASY and FOOLPROOF as possible and he failed in so many ways, I would not really attempt to sugar coat much of anything.

You could also point out it was the equivalent of him taking your dog and tying it out in the sun without water or food for 3 days while it was sick. 3 weeks without food isn't a big deal, but unregulated heat, untreated RI, no fresh water, filthy conditions... that's neglect and endangerment.

On a side note, I've ALWAYS ended up regretting every single pet I've sent into a classroom situation to date. Every time, they say "I'll do it right" and every time the animal ends up in a poor situation, underfed, without proper heat, unregulated heat, dirty or no water, dirty caging... EVERY time. I'm sure that there are wonderfully responsible teachers keeping classroom pets in flawless conditions. I sure haven't encountered them myself yet.

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I agree with this wholeheartedly, you told this person EXACTLY how to do everything that needed to be done to keep the snake healthy and this person ignored everything you told them. I would take that snake and not give it back. It's as simple as that. "I gave you this animal with the confidence that you would take good care of it, you ignored everything that I told you and I come here and find my animal unfed and sick in terrible conditions. You have disrespected me by asking for the animal and saying that you would take care of it and clearly that has not been the case. I am going to take this animal and nurse it back to health, and don't expect to get another animal from me in the near future. You have gone beyond disrespecting me, you have disrespected and injured my animal." (That's what I would say)

I personally had a teacher in elementary school who had a ball python in class for us in 5th grade. She took care of the animal because it was HER PET, not a pet that was borrowed. I think that makes the difference... In this case my teacher deeply cared for the reptiles that she had in the class (two bearded dragons, a rat and the BP) and she took great care of them while also educating the class on the proper care of them. In my class the students all had different chores to do to take care of them and people fell in love with the BP. Everything was going fine until some girl in the class decided to touch the rat and then immediately go and try to play with the snake (he was big enough to eat rats) so the teacher had to take him home. In either case that is my experience with reptiles in the classroom... Like I said, I think it was a matter of the fact that it wasn't HIS pet so he didn't feel the responsibility in caring for it because he didn't pay for it or anything like that. Personally I'd charge him for any medical care that the snake will need... But I don't care about friends when it comes to hurting my animals...

A lot of good advice here... the only thing I disagree with is the "get your own snake to kill" mentality. I don't think this person should be encouraged to have another reptile in the classroom unless they can demonstrate a care for the animal's health and wellbeing, and that should be stressed.

"While I'm 100% for teaching kids about reptiles, I don't feel my animal was properly cared for. You should avoid having live animals in the classroom if there isn't time to take care of them."

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Originally Posted by Slashmaster

A lot of good advice here... the only thing I disagree with is the "get your own snake to kill" mentality. I don't think this person should be encouraged to have another reptile in the classroom unless they can demonstrate a care for the animal's health and wellbeing, and that should be stressed.

"While I'm 100% for teaching kids about reptiles, I don't feel my animal was properly cared for. You should avoid having live animals in the classroom if there isn't time to take care of them."

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I agree I care about my snake just as much as any other. I don't want it neglected

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Originally Posted by Slashmaster

A lot of good advice here... the only thing I disagree with is the "get your own snake to kill" mentality. I don't think this person should be encouraged to have another reptile in the classroom unless they can demonstrate a care for the animal's health and wellbeing, and that should be stressed.

"While I'm 100% for teaching kids about reptiles, I don't feel my animal was properly cared for. You should avoid having live animals in the classroom if there isn't time to take care of them."

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I didn't suggest that the OP encourage this, I merely stated that the OP should tell the guy to go spend his own money on something since he obviously didn't take care of what was free. Maybe if he has something ACTUALLY invested in the animal he'll actaully care a little more about it.

agreed, first of all I wouldn't be cool about it. I would have taken it back right there and then.

It's yours. Plain and simple. You tried to help out a friend and if he decided that he's not up to the task of taking proper care of it, than you have ever right to revoke on the deal. Further more you have a responsibility to get that snake back and make sure it's properly cared for.

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Originally Posted by Slashmaster

A lot of good advice here... the only thing I disagree with is the "get your own snake to kill" mentality. I don't think this person should be encouraged to have another reptile in the classroom unless they can demonstrate a care for the animal's health and wellbeing, and that should be stressed.

"While I'm 100% for teaching kids about reptiles, I don't feel my animal was properly cared for. You should avoid having live animals in the classroom if there isn't time to take care of them."

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:gj: good point. I'm all for teaching kids about reptiles too, but if your teaching them how NOT to care for them than your contributing to a much bigger issue, neglect. And teaching children to be neglectful of animals. Not feeding an animal constitutes as cruelty IMO.. :mad: