How would you handle this?

Since all my roommates have decided they want to move back in with their families, I went to my parents to ask them if I could move back in at the end of my lease. They were okay with it until I told them I was keeping my boa (my ball python is going with my boyfriend, his mom outright REFUSES to even be in the same house as Satin) which set my mom off. She's "not thrilled" with the idea of a pet that's "not really a pet", and my dad's not all that more into the idea than she is. My mom's afraid for the dogs (both are WAY too large to be eaten, but I'm assuming she's afraid my boa will somehow get out and constrict/attack them) and says she feels VERY uncomfortable with the idea of a large snake in the house. I have made it clear on multiple occasions that I will not give up my snakes, and my dad asked me "if we say no to you keeping her here, will that be a deal-breaker? Think about it." which, roughly translated, means "if we tell you you can't have her here, are you going to change your mind and basically cause us to be more disappointed in you than we have been because we think you're making a stupid decision to keep a snake over making a 'smart' choice?" (I'm really not being a "teenage drama-queen", they really are like this... I understand they want what's best for me but my parents and I have NEVER been close, especially my dad and I).

I want to move in with them to save money and make life a little easier for myself but I took on a responsibility when I got my snakes and they're my passion. I feel like asking me to give them up is equivalent to asking me which hand I'd rather cut off. I love them dearly and I don't feel I can part with them. It's an odd situation because I understand that there are people that don't like snakes, but I feel I'm a very responsible owner and they don't even need to see her since she'll never leave my room except to go to the vet's or the equivalent.


And before anyone says it, I offered for them to come and at least meet her once, but they refused flat-out to do that.

The snake will be kept in a locked enclosure so theres no chance of it getting out correct? I would ask them to come up with some ACTUAL reasons why they dont want her in the house. Try explaining its your passion and even tho they dont see her as a pet you love her.

If they still refuse i would get your own smaller/cheaper place and say screw them. I cant imagine parents refusing and pretty much disowning their own daughter over something as stupid as this. At this point i would completely stop talking to them. If your dad says something like, "oh you really wanna make the stupid decision of keeping your snake instead of moving in?" i would snap back with, "id rather live with a stupid snake than with stupid people."

This^ is all what i would do, not saying you should though. I can be extremely stubborn and emotionally unnattached when it comes to people pissing me off haha.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

The snake will be kept in a locked enclosure so theres no chance of it getting out correct? I would ask them to come up with some ACTUAL reasons why they dont want her in the house. Try explaining its your passion and even tho they dont see her as a pet you love her.

If they still refuse i would get your own smaller/cheaper place and say screw them. I cant imagine parents refusing and pretty much disowning their own daughter over something as stupid as this. At this point i would completely stop talking to them. If your dad says something like, "oh you really wanna make the stupid decision of keeping your snake instead of moving in?" i would snap back with, "id rather live with a stupid snake than with stupid people."

This^ is all what i would do, not saying you should though. I can be extremely stubborn and emotionally unnattached when it comes to people pissing me off haha.

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I agree compleatly. Tell them how much snakes mean to you, and that it isnt just a minnor hobby that will go away. And if they don't understand and will not let you keep her, then it isnt worth it. The snake means a lot to you, theres no giving her up, they either have to put up with that or it wont work.
But i hope everything works out! Good luck.

Yes, her enclosure has windows for doors, meaning they latch shut. She's been in there for a year and with the exception of that one time of someone leaving her door open, she has never gotten out.

If it does come to an "it's us or the snake" standoff, I love my family, I really do, but I would get my own place. I'd never ask someone to give up their pet (unless, you know, it was a lion or a tiger or something, but hey, if that was the case then I'm pretty sure I'd never ask to live with them in the first place lol) and I know how awful it feels. I had to give up my pitbull about 2 years ago, and even though he's with a great family who loves him very much, I've never gotten over it. I told myself I'd never give up another pet unless it was the best thing for them (ie. they were sick/injured/etc and needed rehabilitation/etc.)

Yeah you gotta explain what it means to you to keep that snake. Maybe you should show them some facts. The biggest reason parents or just people in general dont like snakes is because of ignorance. They hear things on the news and in articles that give snakes a bad rap. It seems like everyone thinks that all snakes get 20 feet long and can eat the whole family and are extremely venomous. My dad tells me he is afraid that one of my BPs is gonna get out and eat my daughter even though the biggest they get is 5 feet long and is completely incapable of such a feat....

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

I can be extremely stubborn and emotionally unnattached when it comes to people pissing me off haha.

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Me too...

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Originally Posted by Andybill

Me too...

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Its a gift and a curse, isnt it? :rofl:

You live in a state that has Powerball Xfenrir?

Odds of winning Powerball jackpot:
1 in 175,223,510

Odds of being killed by a non-venemous snake in a whole year-
1 in 691,590,909

There were only 8 cases of constrictors killing someone in the US from 1990-2008. In almost 20 years only 8 cases. Your pitbull was way more dangerous a pet. There are like over 30 deaths from dog maulings in the US EVERY year.

Now im no math guru but i think ill stick with my DEADLY KILLING MACHINES! lol

It's not that they have misconceptions about snakes, they just are more "fuzzy animal" type people (which there's nothing wrong with, I love fuzzy animals as much as the next person) and they just can't understand why someone would become attached to a "wild" animal. I just love snakes, and the fact that they aren't a domesticated animal. You will never be their "master" and working with them requires a level of respect for what they can do. Granted, my boa isn't the largest snake out there, but if she was around my neck, she could definitely suffocate me. But I respect that she can do that, and I don't put myself in a position to let that happen.

Basically, they can't understand there being a bond between a person and a snake because it's really one-way. A snake will never "love" you like a dog or a cat. But to me, that's what makes working with them even cooler. I've always loved all animals, covered with fur or scales makes no difference to me. :)

I don't have much to offer in this. My parents have been pretty accepting of everything in our home. They started with very strict limits on number of and size. . . then it got breached on the size limits when I got my BCI. . . Ever since then it has been the one snake my mom has hated the most. . . I've pulled him out, let her pet him, understand who and what he is, but all she sees is 7 ft of muscle that will kill me one day. . .

I will say this though. Things can change. While I was out in Hawaii, my mom was taking care of my collection. She will work with any of the animals python wise, balls, Carpets, and yes, even the burmese. But the Boa she said was the limit. . . During my time away, Bubba spilled his water. She told me the story of her walking by the enclosure and seeing him look so sad that his water has spilled (doesn't happen often, but sometimes he knocks it over). Since this was on day 2 of my trip, she got over her fear and opened the cage on her own account, pulled out the turned over bowl, and cleaned it / filled it with fresh water. When she put her hands back in the cage the boa "bowed to her" as she gave it the water back . . . Since then, she seems to fear it much much less and has become accepting of it. I know this is probably a rare case of parents and snakes, but there is always hope. Make sure your parents realize how deep your passions are for what you believe with your snakes. Make sure they understand its basically a hairless cat with no legs. . . Since the situation is hard to analyze from an outsiders point of view, this is all probably moot, but hopefully it finds some ease to your mind.

Yeah, the situation is unfortunately difficult. A friend of mine actually flat out told me the other day to get a dog cause a tank of fish or a snake will never "love" me. Which, I my opinions on whether reptiles and fish are more capable emotionally than people think, but that is for another time. I'm finding reptile/fish people are of a "special breed" which "normal" people will not understand.

Anyway aside from moving in with the parents what other options could you pursue?

Possibilities:
-Get another less expensive apartment with the BF?
-Get another less expensive apartment with the BF and possibly other roommates?
-Get another less expensive apartment with other roommates?
-Rent a house
-Move in with another family member? aunt, uncle, cousin?

I know the goal is to save money but it sounds like your parents value their ignorance over their daughter.

Other alternatives:
-Force them out of their own home using the mafia or some awesome scheme involving cockroaches and sporks
-Force them out by having half of the people on this website to move into your parents' neighborhood and forcing reptile house warming parties for 6 months straight at their house
-Hit the lottery and not share it with them while you live in a mansion once owned by Ray Lewis or Cal Ripken Jr. and turn the basement is a reptile palace
-Buy a boat, live on the ocean
-Raid their house like a buccaneer would raid a port, take them hostage and make them walk the plank.

Their house, their rules. Change the snakes name, it's not like it cares. Naming in that is just a childish attention seeking jab at everyone who might otherwise cut you some slack.

If you are unable to convince them to let you come home, why make it a fight. Either they are stubborn, you are stubborn, you are unable to communicate adequately the lack of danger when properly kept, or deep down you just don't want to.

A snake is not a dog. If you have to give it up, so long as it goes to a good home, the snake won't give a rat's patootie. Are you making enough to support yourself and your snake or do you really need to move back home to make ends meet?

Their fear is not unreasonable. Boas are dangerous. Do you handle yours alone? You seem like a fairly small person and a snake the size of the one on your neck could give you trouble if you were solo and something went South. Perhaps you should give them more time, take them to a zoo or a reptile store and let them get used to something a lot smaller; perhaps a corn or king or hognose.

Non-reptile people often don't get why we like these guys so much, but we often forget that their fears are real.

I'd give this a lot more thought if I were you.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Their house, their rules. Change the snakes name, it's not like it cares. Naming in that is just a childish attention seeking jab at everyone who might otherwise cut you some slack.

If you are unable to convince them to let you come home, why make it a fight. Either they are stubborn, you are stubborn, you are unable to communicate adequately the lack of danger when properly kept, or deep down you just don't want to.

A snake is not a dog. If you have to give it up, so long as it goes to a good home, the snake won't give a rat's patootie. Are you making enough to support yourself and your snake or do you really need to move back home to make ends meet?

Their fear is not unreasonable. Boas are dangerous. Do you handle yours alone? You seem like a fairly small person and a snake the size of the one on your neck could give you trouble if you were solo and something went South. Perhaps you should give them more time, take them to a zoo or a reptile store and let them get used to something a lot smaller; perhaps a corn or king or hognose.

Non-reptile people often don't get why we like these guys so much, but we often forget that their fears are real.

I'd give this a lot more thought if I were you.

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I must say that as much as I enjoyed the last few posters ideas, this one is probably the best answer. If either you or your parents are too stubborn to change, then you have to find some other way. But the way your origional post sounded was as if you have to move in, because you no longer have any room mates and your BF had no issue moving in with his family. If living on your own means money is too tight to take care of yourself or your animal, then you need to either try to convince your parents logically or give up the animal. If your parents would let you have a corn snake or something small to get them used to the idea, and feel more comfortable while a friend cares for your boa maybe that will work. You can still see your snake, and hopefully be able to have it at home eventually. Or if you have a friend that can care for it until you can afford to live on your own and properly care for yourself and the snake.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Their house, their rules. Change the snakes name, it's not like it cares. Naming in that is just a childish attention seeking jab at everyone who might otherwise cut you some slack.

If you are unable to convince them to let you come home, why make it a fight. Either they are stubborn, you are stubborn, you are unable to communicate adequately the lack of danger when properly kept, or deep down you just don't want to.

A snake is not a dog. If you have to give it up, so long as it goes to a good home, the snake won't give a rat's patootie. Are you making enough to support yourself and your snake or do you really need to move back home to make ends meet?

Their fear is not unreasonable. Boas are dangerous. Do you handle yours alone? You seem like a fairly small person and a snake the size of the one on your neck could give you trouble if you were solo and something went South. Perhaps you should give them more time, take them to a zoo or a reptile store and let them get used to something a lot smaller; perhaps a corn or king or hognose.

Non-reptile people often don't get why we like these guys so much, but we often forget that their fears are real.

I'd give this a lot more thought if I were you.

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While I agree with most of what you are saying, the snake's name is Satin NOT Satan. Satin is a fabric not the devil.

xFenrir your only choices might be to either give up the snake or find another place to live. If you don't believe you will be staying with your parents long you might be able to find someone to foster the snake for a while. While it is admirable that you feel a huge sense of responsibility to your boa you need to think about what will be best for both of you in the long run. If you are trying to save money because you need to, then you should probably rehome her and move in with your parents. :(

Your parents have spent their lives to be where they are today, which includes unknown and untold sacrifices they have made for you to be what, who, and where you are today. They have earned the right to say what goes on in their house. Believe me as a parent, I know. In addition they have done their job in raising you up well enough, to be someone who was able to strike out on their own, even if only for a short while. Now they are offering to make more sacrfices and offering you a place to come back to that will give you an opportunity to jump start again, your life. This time it will be even more effort then before as you are a grown woman who has your own opinions and has been on your own. You are upset because you can't keep your snake?

I am sorry of it offends you, but it seems a little selfish on your part that this is even an issue. Life is full of hard choices, and this is not one of them as you will learn when you get further along in your life. Live with them and no snake. Live on your own and don't have the means to keep your snake. This is a no brainer. Be thankful you have parents that love you enough that they would make the offer to let you move back in. There are many who don't.

Just my $0.02

Hey OP, can you clarify the name of your snake please? Is it a soft and pleasant fabric it's named after of the lord of darkness?

She's named after the fabric, not the biblical character. lol

And people, I knew this would come up, and I KNOW it's "their house, their rules". I'm not some selfish little girl who just wants to get her way. Please don't treat me like that. Off the bat, without them even saying anything to me, I've already told my bf to take my ball python because I know 2 snakes would definitely be a "no" situation. What I'm trying to do is work at a compromise with them. It's already just one snake instead of two, and I need them to see also that this isn't just a hobby or a "I'm so badass I own SNAKES" type of deal. This is what I'll be doing with the rest of my LIFE. If it was a hobby then yes, I could see that rehoming her would probably be for the best, but I feel that since I'm going to be studying them. working with them, and owning more (in the future), giving up one now is pretty redundant. And it's also kind of personally hurt my feelings: when I have my own place again, and another (even larger) collection, are they just never going to visit me because I have snakes? Even if they were in a basement or separate room? This is part of who I am, and it's not going to change whether I give up my snakes this time or not. I want them to be comfortable with ME, as well. Now, if I had a Burm or a Retic then yes, I could definitely see their reluctance to have something like that in their house. And I understand that she's a bigger species, but she won't get much larger than she is now.

I started this thread because I want to work WITH my parents, not against them. It's not me whining for support for MY side of the argument. I want to keep my snake, and they never gave me a flat-out no, just a "we need to think about it" and I want to have a good pro-snakes side for them to consider. And I'm already giving up more things aside from the snake situation. I always feel that a compromise can always be reached.

And nowhere did I say I can't afford to live on my own. I can. I'm doing it now. It's just living with my parents would let me have even more money. I figured that was the first logical choice, and if it didn't work out then I'd get a different place to live. I'm not doing it because I'm S.O.L. in life.

Unfortunately there is little one can do in a situation where parents are not accepting of a species or family of animal. Some have such deep fears that it becomes repulsing to even think of having it in their homes. Some parents can look beyound it and see the passion in their child, and the devistation it would cost them to lose it. Others simply see it as an unloveable creature that has no right living in the house that they pay for and provide for.

If you wanted to throw pros and cons out there to them its not too difficult to weigh things out, but honestly seems as if it would be a lost cause. You can explain that they have no smell, make no noise, and generally stay in hides most of the day while they are active at night. You can promise to have no interaction with your parents and the snake at the same time, and that even while you're going the snake will have no escape as the cage is, I'm assuming, escape proof. Explain that your snake is on a healthy diet, and shows no agression. Explain what you feel you want out of life, and let them know that this snake has a part in your future whether they can be accepting of it or not. . .

To my parents it became more about space . . . danger . . . cost . . . So to get a bigger collection I invested in more quality enclosures that looked amazing that are escape proof. I use the most heat effecient styles to heat caging as I can . . . Moved to rack systems for my balls. . . these were my compromises. Now my parents still grunt about the snakes, still hate the boa (except mom has come around), but its something they have began to embrace finally after over a decade of raising snakes in their home. . . now that I've expanded it's still give and take. I give them more money per month to pay for heating. I buy appliances to keep upkeep in the house going. It's still cheaper than me buying my own place for the time being, and everyone benefits from it. You can try that approach. Let your parents know you'd be willing to do more for the family coming back, pay some kind of rent, maybe cover one of the utility bills every month. The little things add up, and your parents may respect you a little more for it, and become easier on the snake situation.

Explain they are not venomous, they do not attack humans, and they can't swallow anything in the house except for the rats. . . You can throw statistics about snakes killing dogs and cats or people out there, and show just how low the risk is, but it will still say "its happened once It can happen again" type of thing. Just keep a cool head when you do manage to have more discusssions with them about it. Let your passions do the talking, but do not become emotional where your mind is no longer thinging straight and you start to act out of resentment or anger.

That's about all I can say on this . . . so there is now my .04 on the mattter.

Thank you for clearing that up. So often I see people going for the attention grabbing aspect of snake keeping that I just ASSumed, making an ass of myself, that you were one of those.

You may have to give this one up if you want to move back home, but it's not the end of the world. As you have said, it's your life and if you really mean it, then perhaps you could convince them to let you get a baby for Xmas or as a compromise.

There's almost always a workaround available. Redtailboas.net is a pretty good site, maybe you could glean some useful hints over there.

Good luck.

I know this is probably silly thinking and may not even be the case, but are your parents older, Fenrir? The reason I ask is because I have found that many "older" people who don't like snakes don't like them because they've been fed bullcrap stories about them and they believe it. For example, my mom is a younger mom and has nothing but respect and admiration for me keeping my snakes. She hasn't gone so far as to hold any of them, but she has petted Diablo before and is constantly asking me questions about them. My grandma, however, has an ingrained fear of snakes and up until I started keeping them, she believed that all species, regardless of size were terribly dangerous. When she found out about my first snake (my adult Snow Corn), she called me up and said: Why in the world would you want a dangerous, poisonous pet?!? Are you crazy?!?

When I explained to her that the snake was not "poisonous" (no explaining to her that snakes weren't ever poisonous to begin with....some species are venomous, but not poisonous, lol), she said: Oh child, what if it gets loose and strangles you in your sleep? *Facepalm* At that point, I knew it was going to take a whole lotta education to show my grandma that my snakes weren't the offspring of the devil. :D

So I guess what I am getting at, is maybe they just need a whole lotta education on your boa? What it eats, how often it eats, the fact that it only poo's once or twice a week (or month in bigger snakes), the type of enclosure you keep it in, it's habits, it's personality, etc, etc, etc. Show them how passionate you really are about your boa by telling them the facts and showing them that the "dangerous" monster they believe you are keeping is actually a docile, inquisitive animal...one that you love. Of course, I am not saying that this will change their mind. Sometimes people can't wrap their mind around others loving something that they believe shouldn't even exist in this world. Unfortunately for you, if they are adamant about your boa not staying...you are going to have to come to the decision on whether you want to give up your boa and shoot for another in the future, or find another solution (such as your own place or new roommates). I do wish you the best of luck, though, and I hope your parents come around and see that this really is something you love and cherish, regardless of the fact they don't like it. I wish all parents could be like my mom and dad, lol.

Becca Granger: Yes, both my parents are in their 60's. The hard part about this whole situation isn't that they aren't comfortable with or hate snakes, or even misunderstand them (to a degree, I guess they might, but they know she's a constrictor and other basic stuff like that), they just aren't snake/reptile people. My parents understand that people bond with a dog or a cat or even guinea pigs and such, but I think they're having a hard time understanding a bond between a human being and something that doesn't really care either way. And I think they're caught on the "well, what if it DOES get out, huh?" aspect of snake keeping. I can say with certainty that we built this tank to be escape-proof, and really the only way she'd get out is if someone else broke the glass or left the door open. Either way, they weren't clear on WHAT they were against, just that they were against it. I explained the basics to them and they have 2 months before our lease is up so they definitely have time to think about it. If not, I already have a room being held for me with another friend of mine and his roommates who own a townhouse, so I have my bases covered if moving back home doesn't work out.

I really hope it works out for you. Maybe offer to demonstrate the security of the enclosure by how it locks and how its solid/secure. I know they dont like Satin so have your bf hold her in a completely different room while you show them everything. Also if it comes down to it ask them what their real fears/reasons are for not wanting it? "what ifs" are certainly understandable but i mean what if you give up your snake and move back in and one of your dogs goes psycho and rips your throat out in the middle of the night lol? I mean i just personally dont think that their reasoning has been all that logical so far. I guess im kinda bias on the whole thing but whatever.

It sounds like your parents know the general facts about boas, and you aren't completely backed into a financial corner, so there isn't any reason the situation has to get unpleasant on either side. Reaffirm to them about your locking enclosure, how it (and the snake) will be in your room (door closed) only at all times, and even offer to get something like the "twin draft guard" to block the gap under your bedroom door. Assure them that the arrangement is only for "x" amount of time. If they are too uncomfortable, THANK THEM for considering it, and find another place. Even if they don't change their minds at that surprise ;), it's the right route to keeping it an adult conversation. I don't think you need to try to get them to touch her or be around her - that will or won't happen in its own time. When I went to live with my adoptive parents, they let me bring my 5-ft boa. At the time, mom wouldn't be in the same room with him; now, I do genetics lessons for her elementary school students with my BPs every year. Will she ever be a snake person? No. But she understands through repeated experience that they are a passion of mine, and respects that.

Good luck!

I could never give up my snakes .

Well, judging by how my dad was talking to me today, I highly doubt they're gonna let me move back in anyway. So I guess problem solved? :/

Sorry it looks that way. :(

Hope you find something that will work for you. :)

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Originally Posted by xFenrir

Well, judging by how my dad was talking to me today, I highly doubt they're gonna let me move back in anyway. So I guess problem solved? :/

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Time to embrace your inner stubborness haha :D

Well my dad called me the other day and said that my mom wanted to let me know that she wants me to be registered for classes before I move back in. He said nothing about Satin though, so now I'm thoroughly confused. Gonna wait it out a little longer though, before getting my hopes up for anything.

Hope things work out for you, and that you can keep your baby!

Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk 2

I had a friend in a similar situation, except her bf went to jail and left her with a Burm a Few boas. Her parents were adamant that the snakes did not come with her. I fostered them for almost 2 years. The Burm had his own room in my house and well he was my best friend, only because he knew he could eat me lol. She visited and payed for everything they needed.

Maybe if you have to you could find someone to foster him until you are back on your feet.


Sent from my iPeed using Tapatalk HD

Tough situation! I'm sure the snake being named SATAN doesn't help! LOL(pickin at ya!)

I really don't know how a lot of young people scratch by these days. Even the ones working full time. Prices on housing, fuel, you name it, are rediculous these days.

Best of luck with your parents. They really do want the best for you!

Well my parents said I'm welcome to move back in but my scaly friends are not. I don't have much choice now since I actually got laid off last week (go figure). But one of our friends has graciously said he'll house Satin until one of us can take her back so we don't have to give her up. It didn't work out the way I wanted it to but at least it worked out to where we don't have to rehome her.

I already told him that NO ONE, NO HOW is allowed to take her out of her tank. My boyfriend and I will visit often and take care of feeding and cleaning her enclosure. It's not that I don't trust him (and he doesn't particularly like snakes anyway. Doesn't have a problem with them, he's just not a reptile person) it's just I don't want something to happen while I'm not there.

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Originally Posted by xFenrir

Well my parents said I'm welcome to move back in but my scaly friends are not. I don't have much choice now since I actually got laid off last week (go figure). But one of our friends has graciously said he'll house Satin until one of us can take her back so we don't have to give her up. It didn't work out the way I wanted it to but at least it worked out to where we don't have to rehome her.

I already told him that NO ONE, NO HOW is allowed to take her out of her tank. My boyfriend and I will visit often and take care of feeding and cleaning her enclosure. It's not that I don't trust him (and he doesn't particularly like snakes anyway. Doesn't have a problem with them, he's just not a reptile person) it's just I don't want something to happen while I'm not there.

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Glad to hear that you won't need to give her away, and I too would say no one is allowed to take her out. I hope you guys find a place and will be able to take her back quickly.

I'm new to owning a ball python and am new to the forum, so I'm a little hesitant get on here and "mom" you, but since you asked for advice... :)

First, I would figure out what your goal is and what all your actual options are. It sounds as if not only would the ideal situation be to live with your parents, but to have them accept and appreciate your love of snakes.

It also sounds as if this is not only about the snakes, but also about your relationship with your parents. Your father especially sounds as if he is demanding that he you acknowledge his authority, despite the fact that you are an adult.

My best suggestion is to try to have a non-confrontational discussion with them. Avoiding a power struggle will probably be the hardest part. I would explain to them that you take your responsibility as a pet owner very seriously, which was how they raised you, although you understand they don't have the same feelings about the snake as you do. (I know, it may be a little hard to lay it on, but it doesn't hurt to be nice.) Then I would ask them respectfully what specifically they are concerned about, give them plenty of time to express how they feel, then try to go point by point. Don't try to over educate, simply address their concerns, and ask outright, what would it take to make you comfortable? This isn't about facts, rather about feelings. Showing that you take what they say seriously and responding as an "adult" rather than a rebellious teenager may be what it takes.

Even if you don't get the outcome you want, hopefully the discussion will improve the relationship between you and your parents. Of course, it could also go badly, but it's worth a try for your snake's sake. Best of luck to you, and I hope you post how the situation turns out!

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Originally Posted by Libby

I'm new to owning a ball python and am new to the forum, so I'm a little hesitant get on here and "mom" you, but since you asked for advice... :)

First, I would figure out what your goal is and what all your actual options are. It sounds as if not only would the ideal situation be to live with your parents, but to have them accept and appreciate your love of snakes.

It also sounds as if this is not only about the snakes, but also about your relationship with your parents. Your father especially sounds as if he is demanding that he you acknowledge his authority, despite the fact that you are an adult.

My best suggestion is to try to have a non-confrontational discussion with them. Avoiding a power struggle will probably be the hardest part. I would explain to them that you take your responsibility as a pet owner very seriously, which was how they raised you, although you understand they don't have the same feelings about the snake as you do. (I know, it may be a little hard to lay it on, but it doesn't hurt to be nice.) Then I would ask them respectfully what specifically they are concerned about, give them plenty of time to express how they feel, then try to go point by point. Don't try to over educate, simply address their concerns, and ask outright, what would it take to make you comfortable? This isn't about facts, rather about feelings. Showing that you take what they say seriously and responding as an "adult" rather than a rebellious teenager may be what it takes.

Even if you don't get the outcome you want, hopefully the discussion will improve the relationship between you and your parents. Of course, it could also go badly, but it's worth a try for your snake's sake. Best of luck to you, and I hope you post how the situation turns out!

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She just did a few posts up :)

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Originally Posted by PorcelainxDoll

She just did a few posts up :)

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I scanned the thread, started to reply, stopped to get my son into bed, then came back an hour later and finished without seeing the last update! Oops.

At least you don't have to get rid of her. Hope all goes well with her "babysitter". Best of luck to you. :)

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Originally Posted by xFenrir

Well my parents said I'm welcome to move back in but my scaly friends are not. I don't have much choice now since I actually got laid off last week (go figure). But one of our friends has graciously said he'll house Satin until one of us can take her back so we don't have to give her up. It didn't work out the way I wanted it to but at least it worked out to where we don't have to rehome her.

I already told him that NO ONE, NO HOW is allowed to take her out of her tank. My boyfriend and I will visit often and take care of feeding and cleaning her enclosure. It's not that I don't trust him (and he doesn't particularly like snakes anyway. Doesn't have a problem with them, he's just not a reptile person) it's just I don't want something to happen while I'm not there.

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Well I know this thread is months old but I had to comment because I have a unique situation as well I have owned reptiles for a while now and my mother is completely horrified by snakes and has told me on several occasions if I ever get a snake she will never visit again. I have tried reasoning with her with out telling her I have snakes again. And then my brother called me the other day and he has had a ball python in his home for over a year now my mother walked into his bedroom to put something away and saw it and immediately left his house and now when she visits she sits on the porch she wont even come inside some parents just will not give in their fear of snakes ever but on the bright side hey I dont have to host family gatherings any more lol