Cooking Snafoos

Okay this thread is about exactly what it says! I was thinking about it today because I have SUCCESSFULLY made two loaves of banana nut bread tonight! Some of my mot-so-successful attempts at things are
Spaghetti- set a pot of just WATER on fire
Rice- blackened rice cernals
Mac and cheese- burned a butter lid on the burner
Fish sticks- burned the palm of my hand grabbing the skillet and now have permanent callused like spots on my hands
Pop Tarts- Set the toaster on fire
The list just goes on and on and on. Not to mention the food I made that just DID NOT taste good! Has anyone else had any kitchen mishaps worth mentioning??? :) Funny stories are definitely welcome!

I dont mean to brag but i actually consider myself to be a pretty good cook.:):P

My mom is aweful at cooking, and reallyyyyy lazy, so from a young age i kinda just taught myself to make good food. Ive also worked in a kitchen for two years now where ive learned alot of no-no's. Like pans that comes out of the oven or off the stove are HOTTT!!! haha, i see you learned that one though too :rofl:

In my defense, I was seven :D but they'll be there for the rest of my life

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In my defense, I was seven :D but they'll be there for the rest of my life

One time I was cooking and had no shirt on and pulled a cookie sheet out of the oven and touched the rim of it to my belly. Still have the scar and that was over 5 years ago lol

Do alcohol induced mishaps count?

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Originally Posted by Vypyrz

Do alcohol induced mishaps count?

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:rofl:Of course!

Attempting to make smores or other campfire snacks after youre already drunk requires a specific skill set!:gj:

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

:rofl:Of course!

Attempting to make smores or other campfire snacks after youre already drunk requires a specific skill set!:gj:

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I accidentally threw a frozen rat in the microwave instead of a burrito... :puke2:

I'm a decent cook nowadays... but a few years ago when I was first starting I had a nasty habit of blowing things up lol.

My favorite was when I coated my parents house with butter...

I was making something in a frying pan (don't remember exactly what) but there was a good amount of hot butter in it. Without thinking I went over to the sink and put some cool water on the pan to cool it off a bit. (bad idea in the first place I'm lucky the pan didn't break) What resulted was the biggest cloud of butter infused steam imaginable. Pair this with a poorly placed AC return vent that sucked up a bunch of the steam and the fact that we didn't have a filter in the system (we were just about to replace the entire AC system the next day) and the result was every surface in the house getting a thin slippery coating of butter. It took weeks before it was all gone.

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Originally Posted by Vypyrz

I accidentally threw a frozen rat in the microwave instead of a burrito... :puke2:

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hahahahhaha lmfao!:rofl:
Did it explode?!?!?!

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Originally Posted by The Serpent Merchant

I'm a decent cook nowadays... but a few years ago when I was first starting I had a nasty habit of blowing things up lol.

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I call BS aaron!

You + things blowing up= definetly not an accident :rofl:

Serp Merc- That is BAD but impressive! lol
Vyprs- I had a friend who is now a Herpetologist that did that too, it ruined his microwave
Yes, drunk stories count!
Mike- I'm curious as to how that smores story ended

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

I call BS aaron!

You + things blowing up= definetly not an accident :rofl:

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That may be true nowadays... but as a freshman in high school I hadn't yet refined those skills lol

When I pt the water on the pan I expected some steam but not the explosion that came from the pan :O

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Originally Posted by The Serpent Merchant

That may be true nowadays... but as a freshman in high school I hadn't yet refined those skills lol

When I pt the water on the pan I expected some steam but not the explosion that came from the pan :O

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*goes into the kitchen and starts to melt butter in a pan at work tommorow*
muahaha:twisted:

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

hahahahhaha lmfao!:rofl:
Did it explode?!?!?!

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It didn't explode, per se, but it did rupture and some of the goo ran out of the bag it was in. The microwave went outside and got replaced the next day...

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Originally Posted by The Serpent Merchant

I'm a decent cook nowadays... but a few years ago when I was first starting I had a nasty habit of blowing things up lol.

My favorite was when I coated my parents house with butter...

I was making something in a frying pan (don't remember exactly what) but there was a good amount of hot butter in it. Without thinking I went over to the sink and put some cool water on the pan to cool it off a bit. (bad idea in the first place I'm lucky the pan didn't break) What resulted was the biggest cloud of butter infused steam imaginable. Pair this with a poorly placed AC return vent that sucked up a bunch of the steam and the fact that we didn't have a filter in the system (we were just about to replace the entire AC system the next day) and the result was every surface in the house getting a thin slippery coating of butter. It took weeks before it was all gone.

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Ewww! Butter slime... Cooking is a trial and error learning experience. My mom was a terrible cook. My Grandma, an exeptionally good cook. I learned from my grandma, and practicing myself, adjusting to my own taste. And believe it or not, lots of tips about cooking from watching different food network shows. I love to cook. Good cooking utensils/pots/pans/equipment, make a world of difference too. My daughter is 8 and has been helping in the kitchen for about 2 years. She has made scrambled eggs mostly by herself, whisking, seasoning, cheese and all, except for an adult supervising the stove top.
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I think the worst part about my snafoos is that I know a lot about food, flavor, untensils, and the cooking process... I just can't put it into action

I've been cooking professionally for 13+ years now...have seen, and been included in, countless errors, lapses in judgements, absentminded mistakes, injuries and the likes...

I'm to the point where I think nothing(literally) can surprise me anymore.

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Originally Posted by Royal Chick

I think the worst part about my snafoos is that I know a lot about food, flavor, untensils, and the cooking process... I just can't put it into action

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Keep on trying, it will come together. I had a friend in high school who measured water for hot chocolate, I thought there was no hope for her.

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Would just like to add that cooking IS easy...sure it takes time to learn, patience, and effort, but it is something anyone willing to put their mind to it can do.

not gonna lie im a pretty good cook. gma an my mom taught me everything i kno. i cook 4-5 nights for everyone in the house. My house has always been the place to be so i have quite a few friends who might as well have house keys. Ill cook everything from spanish chicken an rice to full on guido meals. Dont feel so bad about your cooking accidents. I have quite a few friends who cant even boil water an are forced to eat fast food if i dont cook haha

I learned how to cook very well from my grandmother but every once in awhile, something entertaining happens. There was the time I was cooking dinner for my bf and trying to impress him with fresh bread (one of my specialties!) and when I scalded the milk, I didn't let it cool enough before adding the yeast. When it didn't rise, I figured I'd try and bake it anyways. We ended up using the rolls as baseballs and once we were done, the dogs used them as chew toys for awhile. Then there was the lasagna incident.... You know the frozen party sized lasagnas from the store that take 2.5 hours to bake? Well, was doing one of those for a big party we were having, got it in late, so it was around 9 pm before it was done and as I pulled it out of the oven, managed to drop it, upside down, on the floor. After a lot of staring and then expletives, I ordered pizza. Still haven't lived that one down. :)

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Originally Posted by Dracoluna

Well, was doing one of those for a big party we were having, got it in late, so it was around 9 pm before it was done and as I pulled it out of the oven, managed to drop it, upside down, on the floor. After a lot of staring and then expletives, I ordered pizza. Still haven't lived that one down. :)

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Man! I bet you had that feeling where your heart sunk into your stomach... I hate hate hate that feeling XD

Well I cook awesome and I'm very attentive when I cook but I have done dumb stuff when I was younger, like putting a dog biscuit in the microwave. It caught fire and smoked us out of the house.

Now my mom is constantly doing things like setting plastic plates near hot burners and the like.

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I've baked an entire batch of cookies with no baking soda/powder in it.:colbert:
It ended up looking like several blackened rice-cakes with burned chocolate oozing off the surface.
I got distracted, loll.:rolleyes:

Slow Cooker beef stew....

Note to self: Remember to add WATER to the Slow Cooker if you're leaving it on LOW for 8 hours. Otherwise everything will burn to the sides of the container after a while, and it will take industrial cleaner to finally remove all of the blackened pieces that won't come off even with steel wool.

I just wanted to say that it is SNAFU and not SNAFOOS...Situation Normal All Fu#*%d Up

Sorry just being picky.

One time when I was little I wanted to make cereal and we didn't have milk so I put water in it...my mom made me eat it all!!!! NASTY! I know it's not cooking but I try to stick to letting my wife cook now-a-days.

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Originally Posted by RetiredJedi

I just wanted to say that it is SNAFU and not SNAFOOS...Situation Normal All Fu#*%d Up

Sorry just being picky.

One time when I was little I wanted to make cereal and we didn't have milk so I put water in it...my mom made me eat it all!!!! NASTY!

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.... Oh no... I thought I had blocked that memory out...

It, too, happened to me :tears:

lol, and also not having enough milk so you dilute it with water...:doh:

I've almost burned down my apartment 3 times (twice cooking bacon and once toasting bread) and I've cut off the end of 2 fingers, not at the same time. Then there was the time I made apple pie and as I was taking it out of the oven it tipped and all the hot juice spilled on the floor. I can make amazing risotto and cherry cordials, but I can't seem to make Jell-O or kool-aid!!