This really eats my lunch!

So here is the deal. My little brother in law has a 10 year old friend that comes over and plays a lot. Their dads work together. Well about a week or so ago my father in law's iPad went missing. We didn't think too much of it since he misplaces stuff a LOT. Well today my mother in law checked her bank account and realized that a LOT of money was missing ($1,060 and change to be precise). Well it wasn't too hard to trace where that money went. It turns out the 10 year old friend stole the iPad and used my father in law's credit card information that was stored on the iPad to order over $1,000 worth of video games and stuff! Luckily they were able to get a hold of the bank and place where the games were ordered from and canceled most of the orders. Now there is the problem of overdraft fees incurred with their bank, which totaled a couple hundred dollars. My wife and I loaned my in laws enough money to cover their bank account so no more fees are incurred and they have money to live on, but that doesn't change the fact that the bank still charged them the overdraft the fees. They got the iPad back from the little boy (although now the screen is badly cracked and who knows what else is wrong). The little boys parents refuse to pay any of the overdraft fees nor repair the iPad and claim it is not their responsibility to pay for it. EXCUSE ME??? This should get interesting...

How can his parents possibly believe they aren't responsible for their child doing this? If it were our kid I would gladly take care of all the fees and repairs and do everything I could to smooth things over with the other parents. This really blows my mind.

I'm just going to say, I meet more and more parents like this every day and it makes me sick (have some in laws who you just reminded me of:rage:). I'm scared if I say to much more my emotions may get the best of me.

Good luck with all that. I hope the kid and his parents get what they deserve.

That is absolutely ridiculous! What a little brat... I hope this gets figured out. I'd be way past pissed off, I'd get the police involved if that was my stuff getting stolen.

Take the matter to local police dept. Those parents are definitely responsible for any actions of their child. My god, that corrupt at 10 years old - that is scarey!!!

Good luck with getting this all cleared up.

3 words...

small claims court.

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Originally Posted by L.West

Take the matter to local police dept. Those parents are definitely responsible for any actions of their child. My god, that corrupt at 10 years old - that is scarey!!!

Good luck with getting this all cleared up.

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exactly, and using a credit card that isn't yours, is illegal. Whatever can't be charged to the boy, should go against the parents

Of course they don't think they're responsible to pay! They obviously have as much respect for other people's property as their child.

I'd get the police involved.

File a police report. Have the little cretin charged, his parent will be held responsible. You might even have the DA tell them to fix it as part of the agreement. The kid needs to be taught a lesson.

Just awful and further proof that not everyone has the personal responsibility level needed to have kids...

Wow, geez. I'd like to see this one resolved properly. Keep us updated.

It's sad how some children are raised in an irresponsible and spoiled environment and are drawn to imitate it. The parents are simply encouraging this criminal behavior by rejecting blame. At the very least, the kid ought to be doing service work or earning the money back on his own to pay for repairs/fees. I don't want him to be harshly treated, but I do feel that this is a serious offense for a 10-year old to be committing and shows behavioral and parenting issues that need to be addressed.

I see no reason why they think their underage offspring's petty crimes are not their financial responsibility. I guess they don't think that his proper behavior is their responsibility, either? I should hope that these parents are more concerned about their child's well-being than the pennies in their pockets.

Good luck to your family with fixing this. I hope that no one comes out of it angrier or more jaded than before -- especially not the kids.

AKedit: Yeah, I am going to insist they get the police involved and take it to small claims court if need be. I can't say that I blame the kid 100%. He is only doing what he was taught. That is the problem with kids today. They aren't being raised right. You can't discipline them, you can't tell them no. You can only let them make their own decisions. When I was a kid I wasn't too good to get to get my butt handed to me by my parents. They taught me not to steal, not to lie, to always say please, thank you and yes sir/maam. Nowadays its all about teaching your kids how to be little thugs. It is amazing the difference between the kids here in Amish country. "Normal" kids are just like this little brat. Corrupted from the get go. The Amish kids are the exact opposite. Always polite, well behaved, honest and helpful. Because they teach them respect and are not afraid to lay the smack down when it comes to it.

I'll always thank my dad, and the school principle for laying the smack down on me. I've never forgotten the principle putting me over his knee, and letting me know that biting other kids is wrong. I'm 33 now, and the only person I bit is my wife. She does the spanking....wait I think I got off topic...

Did anyone contact the bank about refunding you the overdraft fees, explaining the situation (that money was STOLEN from them)? I got charged for something accidentally once, and the bank was more than willing to undo the fees when my account was overdrawn when I called and told them about it.

That really stinks... I would take that to court.

Sometimes I seriously (and this may make me a bad parent) want to just punch my girlfriends son in the face as hard as I can. Now with that out of my system ill tell you why.

His dad is a piece of work, he has threatened to kill me in front of his son, he was abusive to my girlfriend when they were together. Refuses to work so he doesn't have to pay child support and currently owes over 6k. You get this picture.

Anyway this kid does not behave at all. When you tell him to do something he will look right at you and say "no, I don't want to." He is 6!!! Couple of months ago he got a hold of a lighter and lit our house on fire causing over 20k in damages and causing most of my snakes RI due to smoke. He actually made this statement to me two days ago: "Shaun, if your not nice to me my dad is going to come here and beat you up." AT 6 YEARS OLD!!!

My girlfriend refuses to take him away from the dad because she lost her dad when she was young to drugs and "knows what it feels like to not have a dad."

Anyway its been and will continue to be a long road. I foresee a future of calls from principals, other parents, and police. I am doing my best but every weekend when he goes to his dads he comes back as Satan's child.

W.T.H!

Not responsible for their child? What kind of thinking is that? One of the reasons I was so impressed with my boyfriend (before we were dating, though it hasn't changed) was his parenting as a single dad. He doesn't yell/spank or any of that (not against it though, sure worked on me), but he DEFINITELY doesn't let crap pass by. His daughter was grounded for nearly a month and a half for stealing a couple of bucks from her great aunt and lying about it. That stopped pretty quickly.

Absolutely try to get your in laws to involve the police, since the situation is much more serious than a couple of bucks, and I second trying to talk to the bank about it. I've had good experiences with mine refunding fines if there was a situation out of my control that caused the issue

Police. Very simply. It's theft AND it's identy theft AND it's fraud AND internet fraud.

The kid at 10 years old certainly knows it's wrong to lie and steal. Yes, it's the parents' fault, but it's also his fault too.

They should be made to pay for the iPad, the stolen money, the fees incured, plus any other damages AND a fine for all the trouble. Call the police and have them charged immediately. If your parents don't call the police, they are condoning that type of behavior and are just as responsible for it continuing IMO.

I remember friends who had to stand outside a store with a sign saying "I'm a thief" for stealing a candy bar, AFTER they apologized, and they still have to earn the money to pay for it AND didn't get to keep it AND got punished and extra chores at home. For a CANDY BAR. If they'd have stolen an iPad level amount of money... they'd have burst into flame on the spot!

Oh My! I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you get this issue resolved. I would file a police report and bring them to small claims court.

I would beat my damn kid with the iPad, then buy your in laws a new one!!!

Seriously, I wouldn't beat my kid with it, but the thought would cross my mind!! I don't understand how parents like these can look at themselves in the mirror and be proud of how they parent. I'm sorry, but it is just wrong. I truly hope your in laws get the police involved. The kid definitely needs some repercussions for what he did wrong, and those parents need to learn they are solely responsible for their child until the age of 18.

I was under the firm impression that the bank covers against fraud and would therefore not charge you overdraft fees.

In either scenario, involve the police as soon as possible and document everything. It sucks that the kid is 10, because he's not going to learn anything or be disciplined in the right way... since the best discipline in this case would be good parenting.


Draw joy from the idea that he'll probably end up sitting in a jail cell at some point.

I'd love to talk to their bank myself. I'm good and fired up at the moment and I feel like getting a little frisky. They've had problems with their bank from the start. They've disputed many overdraft fees and have never won a single one. Their bank is even crooked enough that they rearrange the times purchases were made in a day to maximize overdraft fees! They've been there with them, yet they won't drop them. We've tried to get them to switch to our bank because they are actually very good about things like this. I know if our card was stolen and overdrew our account they would waive the overdraft fees and work with us.

That said, I understand the banks side too. It wasn't their fault either and they shouldn't really have to lose out. In a perfect world they would just bill the offender. But this isn't a perfect world and if a bank wants my money, they better be prepared to work for it. I'm sure they have a clause somewhere that says their customers are protected from such things, you just have to call their bluff.

AKedit: I'm going to talk to their bank tomorrow since it is closed for the day. I'm set to call their bluff. Like yall said, they should be protected against fraud/theft. I'd be amazed if they weren't. A lot of places try to play you for the fool, though.

They definitely need to file a police report and press charges. And that 10 year old needs a serious dose of good old fashioned corporal punishment! From the sound of it, his parents could use a dose too!

The bank is insured for this very thing. Don't for a moment they're not. It won't cost them a thing, it's a cost of doing business. They MAKE money if they can get you to let them charge you for what was stolen.

Cops. Like Wolfy said, get them involved. You need a paperwork trail.

He's old enough, maybe not smart enough but I bet any kid that can find the passwords to a strangers bank account isn't really stupid, to know right from wrong. Coddle him now and he's the drunk kid plowing into a grandstand at graduation just a few years down the road.

Start a facebook page: Parents of local child who steals from the elderly. Put up pictures of his parents that are out there on the web already. Embarrass them and maybe something will get done.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

The bank is insured for this very thing. Don't for a moment they're not. It won't cost them a thing, it's a cost of doing business. They MAKE money if they can get you to let them charge you for what was stolen.

Cops. Like Wolfy said, get them involved. You need a paperwork trail.

He's old enough, maybe not smart enough but I bet any kid that can find the passwords to a strangers bank account isn't really stupid, to know right from wrong. Coddle him now and he's the drunk kid plowing into a grandstand at graduation just a few years down the road.

Start a facebook page: Parents of local child who steals from the elderly. Put up pictures of his parents that are out there on the web already. Embarrass them and maybe something will get done.

Good luck.

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My thoughts exactly. Maybe this will page will help my in laws grow a pair and do something about it. They are the kind of folks that let everyone walk all over them. Drives me nuts.

He is old enough to know it was wrong. Maybe not old enough understand the full ramifications of his actions, but he still knows it was wrong. And his punishment should reflect such. Kids learn really quick given the proper motivation, so I don't see any point in locking him up in juvi or anything, but a little hard labor/community service might be in order.

I love the facebook page idea. We live in a nice small town of about 3,000 people, so everyone knows everyone. Shame them into submission. :gj:

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Originally Posted by AK907

That said, I understand the banks side too. It wasn't their fault either and they shouldn't really have to lose out. In a perfect world they would just bill the offender. But this isn't a perfect world and if a bank wants my money, they better be prepared to work for it. I'm sure they have a clause somewhere that says their customers are protected from such things, you just have to call their bluff.

AKedit: I'm going to talk to their bank tomorrow since it is closed for the day. I'm set to call their bluff. Like yall said, they should be protected against fraud/theft. I'd be amazed if they weren't. A lot of places try to play you for the fool, though.

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Just like in the reptile world, banks and insurance companies are faced with scams everyday. Why should they accept the fraud claim if the victim isn't willing to press charges or at the very least, make a police report? You have to file a police report for insurance claims involving theft or criminal damage in order to be reimbursed. I imagine a simple police report will very quickly cut through all the red tape at the bank. Then watch the bank go after the thief once the legal tools for them to do so are in place.

Depending upon the state, it looks like it would be a well deserved Grand Larceny charge. Even if no serious punishment is dealt out this time, having this on his criminal record will greatly increase the chance of him being justly punished for his next inevitable crime. Not to mention it will also greatly increase the chance of your in-laws being reimbursed by his parents.

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Originally Posted by Rat160

Sometimes I seriously (and this may make me a bad parent) want to just punch my girlfriends son in the face as hard as I can. Now with that out of my system ill tell you why.

His dad is a piece of work, he has threatened to kill me in front of his son, he was abusive to my girlfriend when they were together. Refuses to work so he doesn't have to pay child support and currently owes over 6k. You get this picture.

Anyway this kid does not behave at all. When you tell him to do something he will look right at you and say "no, I don't want to." He is 6!!! Couple of months ago he got a hold of a lighter and lit our house on fire causing over 20k in damages and causing most of my snakes RI due to smoke. He actually made this statement to me two days ago: "Shaun, if your not nice to me my dad is going to come here and beat you up." AT 6 YEARS OLD!!!

My girlfriend refuses to take him away from the dad because she lost her dad when she was young to drugs and "knows what it feels like to not have a dad."

Anyway its been and will continue to be a long road. I foresee a future of calls from principals, other parents, and police. I am doing my best but every weekend when he goes to his dads he comes back as Satan's child.

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in a situation like that, I'd say goodbye to the girlfriend....no regrets, just walk away....sorry about the house, and the RI bps.

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Originally Posted by Jabberwocky Dragons

Just like in the reptile world, banks and insurance companies are faced with scams everyday. Why should they accept the fraud claim if the victim isn't willing to press charges or at the very least, make a police report? You have to file a police report for insurance claims involving theft or criminal damage in order to be reimbursed. I imagine a simple police report will very quickly cut through all the red tape at the bank. Then watch the bank go after the thief once the legal tools for them to do so are in place.

Depending upon the state, it looks like it would be a well deserved Grand Larceny charge. Even if no serious punishment is dealt out this time, having this on his criminal record will greatly increase the chance of him being justly punished for his next inevitable crime. Not to mention it will also greatly increase the chance of your in-laws being reimbursed by his parents.

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Great points! :gj:

I think my mission with this has failed, honestly. I showed this thread to my in-laws hoping they would heed everyone's advice, but they are pushovers and still believe that he is "just a kid" and didn't know any better and don't want to "ruin his life". Guess that explains why their own kid only respects my wife and I. :rolleyes:

I appreciate yall backing up my case here, but I can't force them to do whats right. Yall rock!

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Originally Posted by 4Ballz

in a situation like that, I'd say goodbye to the girlfriend....no regrets, just walk away....sorry about the house, and the RI bps.

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You got that right! :gj:

No offense meant to the poster.

Im only 19 so 10 years old is easy enough for me to remember. If i had done that at that age my stepfather woulda hit me so hard that i would have died before i stopped sliding! LOL! Seriously though thats terrible that they dont wanna do an anything about it. That will only teach the kid that what he did was ok and he can get away with it again. I wouldnt let him come over anymore. Who knows what else he'll steal? Maybe next time he'll go in and get one of your snakes and kill it. Or maybe he'll steal their keys and crash their car into something. I'll end this mini rant with a few simple words: Just wait until he's 18. :D Then if he touches anything you own you can legally beat his ass like he deserves!

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Originally Posted by 4Ballz

in a situation like that, I'd say goodbye to the girlfriend....no regrets, just walk away....sorry about the house, and the RI bps.

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No offense to him either, but those were my exact thoughts too. She must be one SPECIAL girl...lol

Ask you in laws how they feel about helping to make a new jeffery dahmer.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

No offense to him either, but those were my exact thoughts too. She must be one SPECIAL girl...lol

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If you want to stay with this girl, you need to A) offer to be a dad to this child, and B) Insist that birth dad is COMPLETELY out of the picture, because this situation is only going to get worse and worse.

She does need to understand that her ex is no dad to this boy--he's so much worse than nothing that there isn't a number high enough to describe it. It's far from unlikely that the fire was set by the ex's direction.

At age 6, this kid is far from irredeemable, but you have to get him away from the evil influence. Ask mom, point blank, if she really wants her son to grow up to be just like his 'dad'.

I agree you should take this to the police. How would the parents not be responsible for the actions of their child. Wow. Are they sure that kid isn't an angel? Bad parenting.... :colbert::colbert:

If your in laws won't get the police involved, you should.

Even if all that happens is the police go to his house and ask to speak to him, that might be enough to put the fear into him and his parents.

I understand their reluctance, when they were kids things were different. But someone MUST put their foot down, even if it is you.

Gale

The parents should very well face criminal charges. That is grand thief. If it's not the parents responsibility ; then who's is it? They where in charge of raising this 10 year old. If it was my kids I would apologized to the people it happened to, have the child apologize, and offer to pay for what ever loss that might have occurred. Then the child would not see the light of day for a very long time! I was raised differently. I am in my mid-thirties, and it just seems what ever morals that where taught is no longer. Was the late 70's/ 80's the last generation of morals???

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Originally Posted by Seeker

I am in my mid-thirties, and it just seems what ever morals that where taught is no longer. Was the late 70's/ 80's the last generation of morals???

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To be brief, the internet is soiling the social fabric of our society. At a 1986 birth, I'm extremely pleased to be part of the last generation of children to be raised without the internet/cell phones. I'm also pleased that I caught the train just in time to be technologically adept - because responsibly using technology is pretty awesome and convenient.


EDIT:

On topic, this girl doesn't sound like a good influence. Don't sell yourself short.

This whole country is going down the drain. We now live in a ultra sensitive soft world. Everyone is afraid to "offend" someone. Parents let their kids away with everything. No one wants to work for anything, they just assume everything should be handed to them. It's a real problem, you see it all over the place. Look at our youth, it's now cool for a boy to be sensitive and emotional. If we keep this crap up we all better start learning Korean. So lesson of the day? Discipline your children and make them work for things they want.

Wow really! These parents need a good slap up side the head! Their son should be removed from the home and be made to do a weekend stent in a child's home for theives and thugs! Did wonders for me at 16! My oldest son (who is now 21 and a Marine) stole a bunch of things from a family member and tried to pawn it. He was caught by our local police thankfully we lived in a small town at the time and the cop was a long time family friend. He called me to tell me what was going on and asked what i wanted to do. So with my approval he finger printed him, took photos and placed him in a holding cell. My son was completely upset, scared and very remorseful. He really got scared when i real crminal was put in the cell next to him and i am forever thankful for the talk that guy gave my son. 4 hours later i picked up a totally different child. Maybe these parents should have this done to them AND their child. Sure my son had to do community service for a year...washed cop cars, took the police dog for a run, scooped poop and emptied waste basket but nonetheless it taught him a lesson. Even today he will tell you that's what set him straight! He's even going to the police academy to be a police officer! Good Luck with the situation.