Touchy subject

I've been having some issues with depression, a mostly unjustified sense of despair and thoughts of suicide. Really don't want to talk about it but I would rather talk to y'all than my family..lol

I've been there before, right after my parents got divorced, and moved to different states (I was 10 at the time). Things eventually got better but it took almost 5 years for me. Stay strong, things will get better in time.

Not to put words in your mouth but if the thought is there, please know that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. I've been down that dark hole before and still get down sometimes and it sucks. PTSD is horrendous and depression isn't something to mess around with. I'm not the least bit ashamed to say I've talked to professionals and taken anti-depressants (prescribed, of course!) fighting my way out of that crap. It isn't always easy nor is it pleasant but it's well worth it in the end. My first snake, a corn, is part of what helped me through that crap. Gave me an interest in something other than my problems and a new joy in life and with that I found a reason and then reasonS, plural, to keep going. Hang in there and keep your head up. Some advice I got that was pretty simple but stuck with me is to think of things like your dinner plate: you don't try and eat the whole meal all at once but rather one bite at a time. Deal with things one step at a time and don't let them overwhelm you all at once. Take care, man. :gj:

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Originally Posted by youbeyouibei

Some advice I got that was pretty simple but stuck with me is to think of things like your dinner plate: you don't try and eat the whole meal all at once but rather one bite at a time. Deal with things one step at a time and don't let them overwhelm you all at once.

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That is some great advice :gj:

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Originally Posted by h00blah

That is some great advice :gj:

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Thanks! Stuck with me, more so than any of the psychology mumbo jumbo that went along with that particular conversation. Besides, if the psychiatrist would have included "bacon" in the phrasing, I'd have been all ears, lol!

Whatever you do, DO NOT give up dude! You are so young and you have your whole life ahead of you, please don't throw that way. I have bipolar and have been down that road of wanting to end it all. I had to fall flat on my butt to realize that I had a life worth living. This hobby and my snakes really help me get through the bad times. Whenever I feel like crap, I just handle one of my bp's and that makes it all better. I especially love hanging out with my male normal, he is my favorite and I know this sounds stupid, but he seems to sense when I am down and will just completely chill with me. No, I do not have any scientific proof of this. This is a great hobby and can really give you something positive to focus on.

If it is that bad, perhaps you should see a doctor. Maybe some medication could help you. Just make sure you do something to pull you through. Suicide is not the answer. You are young and have a lot of life left toive. And it will get better. Granted there will be rough patches, but that's all part of it. Keep your chin up!!! :)

I too, would encourage you to see a professional. Even just for someone to talk to who understands these sort of things.

If it's reassuring at all, psychiatry/psychology isn't as mindless, arrogant, and imposing as a lot of babble out there makes it sound. You wont be automatically considered crazy, sick, or a threat to yourself just for talking to someone about what's going on, and they wont necessarily say that meds are the correct course of action just because you're having some trouble.

Also, do remember that you have identifiable information linked with your account (such as your picture), and the posts you make here will likely be here until the site shuts down (and may still float around the web afterwards). It's up to you, and there's nothing inherently wrong with talking about it here, but just be aware that it is entirely possible for other people to find you on here and find these posts, whether by chance, or intentional snooping.

The depression is just something in your head. You can get yourself through it with the right mindset, medication should be used as a secondary option imo. Whenever im feeling bummed out i try and focus on something i enjoy, one of my hobbies, and distract myself. Focus on your snakes or pets, read a book, do school work, or play video games. Or just go for a long car ride. Those are all things i do whenever im feeling down or stressed.

The dinner plate theory thing is also really good too imo^^^

I know what you mean. My life hit an odd rough patch, and even though I'm a really positive person my world has taken a kind of complacent break... It can be hard to cope but I've found a few really relieving things.

The tough one was writing. When it gets bad... write. Write out your feelings and try to process why you feel that way. That gets a little of it out, even if its hard to face at the moment. After you write step outside and take a breath of fresh air. Look around... The sun will shine tomorrow and the wind will blow. Nothings quitting on you and there is a lot of loveliness in the earth anywhere you look.

Find a focal point. Once you breath some of the bad out, find a positive. Something that makes you feel fulfilled. If it's your snakes, than fixate a little. Write down breeding plans or names until you're satisfied. Take pride in what you can have with a little work, and don't lose sight of it.

Step out of your comfort zone. Do something that will take a boost of confidence. For me, working with a particularly challenging animal and making headway is always gratifying... whether its taming down a nippy rainbow boa or making some progress with a particularly ornery horse. When you're feeling complacent and empty, feeling nervous can actually be really helpful... and facing those nerves to do something productive is REALLY gratifying.

Tire yourself out. I find that depression is almost a 'tired simulator'. Though you're not doing things that would normally take a lot out of you, you're exhausted. Try and step above this by actually tiring yourself, mentally and physically. Both physical exercise and trying new things and experiences work out your mind and body. This also helps you sleep at night, which did wonders for me. Insomnia and depression feed each other profoundly... and mercilessly. It's a vicious cycle. Regular workouts will put you to sleep at night and that helps more than I can explain. (Sleeping at NIGHT is very important too. When you exhaust your ability to stay awake and crash during the day, you're feeding a lot of problems within yourself, I've found.)

Plan a few days out of your week. Include these 'new things' or work outs. You don't have to write down every day minute for minute, but plan a few. It gives you a sense of control and solidity, in my opinion!

Eat more veggies and drink more water. Pretty simple, really. Crappy food makes you feel, well, crappy. Vitamin rich meals satisfy your body and mind. They also re-hydrate you. Most depression is caused by deficiency, and drinking more water/eating natural vitamins and antioxidants works wonders.

I highly recommend seeing some professional help.

Praying for you bud. Nothing else for me to add that others haven't said already.

I agree with all that's been said. I too have been there and have been hospitalized for a week due to my attempt and suicide. It was a foolish thing to do over a non permanent problem. My friends weren't really friends but I didn't have anyone else to hangout with, they would tell me my sad moods brought everyone down and I needed to suck it up because peolpe don't like being around depressed people and that if I ever wanted to keep a girlfriend I needed to knock it off. So I started cutting and burning myself, I at one time burned "I hate me" on my forarm for all to see, hoping to get some needed help and prove that my problem was real to people. I was seeing a girl on and off at the time and she wouldn't date me again because I had hurt her to many times....that along with my horrible friends led me to the night in which I tried to take my life into my own hands. I was already on several meds and so I took about 20 xanax, my mom saw me do it and tried to wrestle the pills free, but I had already swallowed them. I was immediately taken to the hospital which was all a blur as I was not all there, they pumped my stomach and luckily the pills hadn't fully dissolved in that time, I was hooked to fluids and was stable by the next day. I spent another 4-5 days in there seeing numerous therapist and psychiatrist. Eventually I was allowedto go but I couldn't be in charge of my meds or be left alone. It was an eye opening moment for my parents as they didn't know it was that serious.
I started seeing a therapist every few days and we tweaked my meds till something worked. That is what helped me most. Getting out of hs was second. I can say now that I never think of suicide. I still have several times where I want to cut but I can restrain myself and I haven't since that night 2 years ago. I also quite smoking as well which helped me too. I still want to smoke everyday but know I better off without.

I hope my story helps, its hard out there, but nothing last and can only get better if you make it.

Feel free to pm me whenever. I'm always willing to help and listen.

Kevin

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using Tapatalk

Add me to the list of concerned and caring support. It is not a touchy subject, just an honest one.

I've got non-military PTSD, which no one understands LOL, but it often means anxiety and depression take turns trying to control my life. I haven't had much luck with medication (found out I have a 1:3000 weird liver, also apparently it means I can't get drunk or high either) but when I feel overwhelmed I make sure to get my tush in to talk to someone. Unfortunately, professionals are sometimes hit or miss and I often get frustrated with them and quit for a while, but I always make myself go back when I see the dark tunnel approaching.

You can find local crisis lines, but two national ones are 1-800-784-2433 and 1-800-273-8255.

Sometimes it takes a while to get in to see a professional of any kind and I'm in no way ashamed to admit I've called the local crisis line a several times in my life. I always feel really weird doing it, because I'm doing it so I don't get to the point of suicide, but then if there is a good person on the other end (only had one idiot) they start by telling me that is exactly when I should call... and when you should call too. If I spilled my whole life story I don't think many could top it, so believe me when I say I feel for you completely. I am also many of my friends midnight crisis line, so I guess I'm not bad to talk to either. If I can help, please don't hesitate to PM me: I'm on email, twitter, and a friend just made me reactivate my Skype, you know, I'm around. ;)

Been there, done that, got the meds, and they WORK. A lot of depression has to do with brain chemistry. I strongly recommed seeing a professional and being evaluated, at least then you'll find out what your options are and you'll discover that you actually DO have options. Suicide will just make everyone you care about feel like crap for a very long time and YOUR situation will NEVER get better.

http://www.txdps.state.tx.us/mpch/mp...083:27:26PM%27

I dont put much of "my stuff" out there but I have found it to help in some situations.
I do know the feelings you are going through because I am there almost everyday. You would think after 33 years I would have learned to cope with it but the little boy in me still asks "What did I do wrong to make my mommy leave?" while the man in me knows my deadbeat dad murdered her. I have decided that I will find her body when he gets paroled in a couple years regardless of what it takes;)
You just have to have a reason to live, no matter how large or small it is. In my mind, my family and pets would all die if I wasnt here to take care of them. This is the reason I allow myself to breath another day. I know it sounds screwy but then again I am kind of screwed in the head anyway.

You have me on facebook and here also if yo want to talk feel free to PM me.

Thank you all for your support, I love you guys. I don't think I'm so bad that I need professional help. Most days are fine, I feel good and I'm happy. But there are days that I get so down that I feel like I just can't take it anymore. It's not so much that I want to die as I would like to stop living for a while. I think that it is like this with a lot of the people who have these thoughts and that if there was an alternative to death that was less than permanent many would take it. Even when I feel so down that I would love to just end it, I know in my heart that I can't and won't do it. I think about what that would do to my family and friends, and that special someone who would miss out on knowing me. I think about the many, many years ahead of me and all that I hope to accomplish in that time. I think about all the lives that I haven't yet touched and how I could change the world if I just put my mind to work and how none of this can happen if I'm six feet under. Still, those thoughts are still there and God knows how impulsive I can be. I think that half of my depression is caused by family, friends, and school and the other half of it has and is caused by relationships and girls. The other day my sister, her boyfriend and I were going to see his parents in Knoxville. We stopped at a gas station and there was a really pretty girl there and Michael was all "Why don't you stop staring and go talk to her?" and wouldn't leave me alone about it until we left. Well I spent the whole day way down in the dumps thinking about what a coward I am etc etc etc... And I don't care if that sounds stupid. I've tried and tried, and when I actually talk to girls it's all fine and dandy and I realize that they are just people etc. But 99.99999% of the time, even though I know they're just people and it's not that bad etc I still psyche myself out thinking well screw that it's pointless for (insert various reasons...) Which is depressing but it's something that I just cannot get past and won't do anything about it..which is also depressing. That probably sounds stupid too but whatever it's how I feel.

Don't be in denial, the fact that you even can consider not wanting to live is a sign you need help. Get Pro help before one of your bad days goes too far.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Don't be in denial, the fact that you even can consider not wanting to live is a sign you need help. Get Pro help before one of your bad days goes too far.

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Well there's a free confidential depression screening at my school tomorrow, maybe i'll go.

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Originally Posted by evan385

Well there's a free confidential depression screening at my school tomorrow, maybe i'll go.

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Good idea, good luck.

Life is such a special, precious thing. You only get one life, don't throw it away for weird chemistry in your brain. It's not always happy, fun, and care free, but it's up to you to make the best of it. Try and do something positive. Join a sport or club at school. Help those in need. Plus you need to keep your snakes/pets alive for the next 20 years! Keep your head up buddy. Remember people on BP.net will always be here for you. Wake up and be thankful you are alive and even exist in the first place. Things could be much worse!

Much love, and stay strong my friend!

Keep us posted

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Originally Posted by Rob

Don't be in denial, the fact that you even can consider not wanting to live is a sign you need help. Get Pro help before one of your bad days goes too far.

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I agree with this 100%. If you've thought about it enough to post it on a forum looking for help and advice and to vent, then that's more than the "norm". In my job I deal with countless psych and mental disorders, and the first thing you should be doing is calling your local crisis or fire department for a rescue. Even if you aren't thinking those things at the moment, you never know when it will come on again, and you don't know if you'll have enough sense at that time to get the help you need.

Being down because you aren't happy occasionally is normal, talking about suicide in public is not. Get some help before something really bad happens.

Evan how did things ever turn out with that girl in your psych class from that other post you had before? You seem like your psyching yourself out over alot of things just in general life. Not JUST things about girls/friends/family. I agree with other people, going to talk to someone about all of this could really help you out. Just getting all of it off your chest will probably be a big relief. Ive been down about things before too like i said in my first post, but there are many ways to cope. I know that you trust everyone here, and we all love you, but talking to a profesional would be best i think :)
Feel free to PM me about anything, im always willing to listen.

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Originally Posted by evan385

Well there's a free confidential depression screening at my school tomorrow, maybe i'll go.

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Definitely go - if it is confidential what have you got to lose, right?

Kinda sounds like you might be on the anxiety/depression roller-coaster and that is not a fun ride. I'm told that's a pretty common condition combination... and if this thread is any indication, you're in good company. (Or we all are crazy :D take your pick!)

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Originally Posted by evan385

Well there's a free confidential depression screening at my school tomorrow, maybe i'll go.

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Definately go for it. I had gone through this recently not for me but my younger brother. He had been in the military but I still don't think he had PTSD. He was a single father to a 10 year old son. Him and his son moved back to NJ in early 2010. That fall things wheren't going well fo him espescially money. He would call while I was at work multiple days and tell me he wasn't doing well. He promised me he was going to see professional help. Before Thanksgiving that year he was on the phone with the woman he had been dating and mentioned killing himself. She called 911 police showed up and brought him in for an evaluation. He spent a week in a facility where they later released him and said he was ok. Christmas day that year he spent with our mom, his son, and my fiancee. He had been crying alot that day but kept saying he was ok. He left to go spend some time at his girlfriends house. I still remeber the conversation when she called me 30-45 minutes later saying she think had had a gun and was walking into the woods. She called the police and I jumped in the car and headed over on and off the phone with her. It was about 10 minutes away. About 4 minutes or so before I got to her house he sent me a text saying nothing more then he was sorry and goodbye. When I arrived the police where there. They wouldn't let me go back and I just remeber seeing flashilights as they walked around. Then one sole officer walked back to the house. She asked Me, my fiancee, and his girlfriend if any of us had been an immidiate family member. I knew then what happened. I know first hand what it can do for a family. He was 38 and left behind a 10 year old son and a family that cared for him. :( There is not a day since that I still think I could have stopped it in some way. So please go and see a counselor it can't hurt. Also feel free to send me a pm if you want to talk more.

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Originally Posted by BPLuvr

I know first hand what it can do for a family. He was 38 and left behind a 10 year old son and a family that cared for him. :( There is not a day since that I still think I could have stopped it in some way. So please go and see a counselor it can't hurt. Also feel free to send me a pm if you want to talk more.

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Thank you for taking the time to share your story and to strongly remind us all to keep ourselves and our loved ones well. I am sorry for your loss and my heart to his son.

I agree, don't be too proud to get help if you need it. In my opinion depression meds are just a band-aid if you don't talk to a professional or at the very least work on your problems. I've been on depression meds and seen a professional twice in my life, and I will never regret it. I hope I will never need that sort of help again, but if it happens, so be it. Something you should keep in mind is that no one can make you feel bad or worthless unless you let them.

I wish I had time to respond to every post individually, but thank you all for your concern. Actually I'm doing a whole hell of a lot better now. Lately when I get down I just sit back and think about how it's not worth it to feel like this over whatever I happen to be down about, instead of dwelling on whatever it is. I've been a lot happier recently and I don't let things get to me anywhere near as much as I used to :)