Help convince please...

Hi my names Tanner! To start off I am a die hard exotic pet fan. Out of my pets I own Tortoises, Leopard geckos and crested geckos. I was lucky growing up my family owns a pet zebra a pet kangaroo and my favorite our kinkajou! Growing up my parents were deathly afraid of getting a snake so no go on the snake then. Then I moved into the dorms... No snake there.... Then I moved into an apartment yet again no snake!!! Now I finally am moved into my new house and am settled in and I thought time to get my snake!!! :) I have been doing my research and feel I am 100% capable of having the commitment of this new pet. Now before I make $400 purchases I usually talk it over with the girlfriend she looked at me and these were her reactions ==>:O:colbert::rage: and these were mine ===>:(:bow::please::tears: I need your help guys I'm going to show her this thread reassure her they are awesome! And they rarely bite! I have been waiting since I was 8 to get a snake i'm 22 now help me out people it's been a long wait...

Well the best thing to do is have her hold a ball python. That works on most people.

There are defiantly some good threads that have some great pictures of BP's on this site that could help as well. (check out the picture section)

BP's very rarely bite and even if they do it isn't that bad (the smaller they are the better my babies could bite me with out me even noticing. that being said I currently have 6 snakes and have only been bit two or three times.


Best of luck

You should look for any reptile shows in your area and shee if she would agree to go with you to one (if no reptile shows, see if there are any breeders in your area willing to let you come see their animals). While you're there you can show her several different morphs and she will be able to handle some and see for herself how docile these snakes can be. She would also get to see some adults there so she can see that a ball python isn't going to grow into a 14 foot monster snake. Just do your research and present her with a facts and make a strong case for yourself. Find out what her specific objections are and address each concern individually.

Is she afraid it's going to escape? Get a secure locking enclosure.

If she is afraid it's going to bite, I will say that anything with a mouth CAN bite. I have been around snakes for many many years. I have owned ball pythons for close to 5 years. I currently own 15 snakes, handle them regularly and have not been bit once. Once you learn to read your snake's behavior, you will know when is and isn't a good time to handle...

Good luck. I had to do the same to convince my wife to let me get them and now she loves them almost as much as I do...

What exactly are her objections? It's very possible that she is very scared of them and that might take some time to work through. If it's just a dislike, then she should state her problems with it and give you a chance to respond. My husband doesn't like snakes either but we made the agreement that I don't force them on him, he doesn't have to take care of them, and I'm allowed to have them. Granted, I owned the snakes BEFORE meeting him so he didn't have much choice but part of a relationship is give and take.

Possible objections:
Dirty - they are cleaner than dogs and cats. Trust me on this one.

Smell - Same as above and since you have a lab, I'm sure you know that a wet dog can smell pretty bad. If the tank/cage/tub is kept clean, ball pythons are relatively odorless. My corn snakes are worse...

Getting loose - Make sure the enclosure is such that you can't even pry it open without undoing latches, locks, etc. That's generally a pretty good rule of thumb (experience comes from owning corns who like to try and escape. My bp hasn't bothered to try at all).

Biting - Your dog can do more damage playing than a bp. Also, if you compare it to a dog (since most people at least understand them somewhat), snakes can be read to see how they are feeling. Obviously, coiling up, striking, tail rattles, and hisses are signs they are stressed/annoyed. Same as a dog bristling up and growling or baring his teeth. Also, bp's aren't particularly nippy. Find one that is calm, you can handle, and do so BEFORE buying. Let her pet the snake a little too if she's willing so she can see that that particular animal is calm. A good breeder will also spend time talking to her about any concerns she may have.

Feeding - Ok, it's hard to handle this one as there is no dry snake kibble anywhere. Either you will have to throw a live rat in and watch it get killed/eaten or you will have dead ones in the freezer. If you have a deep freeze, this is easier to hide if she doesn't wish to think about it.

IF she really is truly terrified of snakes, you should talk to someone who has a few that is experienced with dealing with people who might be frightened of them. There are a lot of ways to work through fears especially if her fear is caused by the usual, parents telling her snakes are dangerous/scary/slimy. Most adults can rationalize things out when faced with the real facts (and a handle-able snake).

It might not be easy , it took me 8 years to convince the wife into letting me get a snake .... but the day we picked them up she was fascinated and was walking around holding the female lol :gj:

Ya she's been a vegetarian her entire life so the feeding part is a little touchy but I would never expect her to feed it or watch me feed it. Like you guys said her main concern is it escaping which is a easy fix. And she claims they are "Slithery" which I think is the best part! Maybe I will make the 6 hour drive to a reptile show this summer to let her hold and interact with one. I'm sure they are a whole lot cheaper there also! Looks like a lot more waiting... :(

I used to be terrified of snakes. Until I got up the nerve to hold one. That was it. I fell hook line and sinker. They are wonderful pets, low maintenance, they do not smell. They only eat once a week or two dependant on how old they are. We have 6 bps, only one of them is grumpy. Right before she goes into shed (before she is blue, so you can't ever tell) she gets grumpy. It's like pms or something. The rest are fine. We have 2 that are so mellow our 8 yo can take them out and handle them all by herself. You just have to get to know them, and you can tell their moods. I definately think her actually holding one will go along ways for convincing. They are just great. And if she is worried about "slithery" bps are more like the lap dogs of snakes. They aren't nearly as busy as say a corn. Good luck!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gopherhockey03

Looks like a lot more waiting... :(

---

Or you could order one online and have it to your door the next day. Most will eat Pre packaged frozen rodents so your GF doesn't have to see the mice or rats you feed it, and it's only once a week anyway. I say you have waited long enough, just remember its a scientific fact you can't own just one ball python.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Rob

Or you could order one online and have it to your door the next day. Most will eat Pre packaged frozen rodents so your GF doesn't have to see the mice or rats you feed it, and it's only once a week anyway. I say you have waited long enough, just remember its a scientific fact you can't own just one ball python.

---

^^^^^^ This is a proven fact....:D

I need to figure out how to just quote part of it...

" They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time."

Shes not a snake person( yet) so break it down in yerms she would understand. For example use any hobby she may be into to draw a line. Also assure her about the animal you wish to get. Keep in mind sbakes are like dogs. There so many types and breeds of dogs. Some are more known to bite or be aggresive and some are more docile and friendly. Pick an easy going animal such as a ball or a corn or aomething like that. Take her to a show or a pet shop.as a couple you both need to understand eachothers passions and hobbies and respect them. Now my wife friggin hates snakes. Wants nothing to do with them at all. She wont even go near the basement where my snake rooms are. But its my passion and she respects that and shedeals with it. Just as i deal with hers. Now she cant understand why someone would pay 500 bucks for a sbake but then again i cant understand why someone would pay 500 bucks for a purse but we compromise.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by snake lab

She wont even go near the basement where my snake rooms are. But its my passion and she respects that and shedeals with it. Just as i deal with hers. Now she cant understand why someone would pay 500 bucks for a sbake but then again i cant understand why someone would pay 500 bucks for a purse but we compromise.

---

Wow, sounds exactly like me and my wife to a tee!

Go to a reptile expo! If she sees them there and sees how many people are into them, the amount of young kids there holding snakes she will see its really not bad at all! If you can get her to hold one so she can experience it on her own it will be a plus. That's what worked for me!

In my experience, taking someone who is afraid or doesn't like snakes to a reptile expo is a terrible idea! I brought my boyfriend to the expo in Hamburg and he had an anxiety attack and was severely traumatized by the whole thing. People have large snakes wrapped around their bodies walking around, and while that may seem cool to you or me, it can be absolutely terrifying to some one who is uncomfortable around these animals. I would start her off somewhere more controlled, where she can look at one without having to worry about a crowd and loose snakes not to mention other reptiles and amphibians that may make her nervous (there were crocs at the last one if I remember correctly). Maybe go to a friends house who has a nice, docile snake, or a pet store that will let you hold a ball.


---
I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?0llhnc

You could also take her to a herp society meeting, I'm sure there would be people there she could talk to that could answer any questions she had.

http://www.mnherpsoc.com/

Tanner,

Go get your snake, Dude! You're a grown man and are more than capable of making this decision. Your GF will either jump on the train, or watch it pull away from the station.

It may sound harsh, but if she's not willing to be happy about you getting something you've wanted for such a long time, there's not a lot of chance that it'll go the distance.

Do your thing, Brother! Can't make someone else happy unless you are happy yourself.

I say just go for it. If your gf really loves you then she'll put up with it. She wont ever have to deal with it if she doesnt want to. If she chooses to warm up to it then thats her choice but i wouldnt really force her to. And if she puts up a big stink about it then maybe shes not right for you. Im not trying to be harsh but its not really a big deal to get a snake. If you get a secure PVC enclosure, some even have locks, then there is zero chance the snake will get out. Which sounds like is her biggest fear.

Ball pythons don't bother me at all. I'm not ok with giant snakes, and smaller snakes kind of freak me out, lol. They move to fast! Ball pythons are perfect, they are slow and very docile. In the several years I have owned ball pythons I have only been 'seriously' bit once by a full grown male. I have 20 some snakes, so I think that's saying a lot. I've been bit too many times to count by hatchlings, but 90% of the time they don't draw blood so it doesn't count. Even when I was bit by the adult it was nothing, being bit by a cat is FAR worse, even a kitten is worse!

.....and if her biggest fear is it getting out, is she afraid of it killing house rats for you? There's a reason that the shipping container on ball pythons mailed to you say "harmless reptiles".

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Slim

Tanner,

Go get your snake, Dude! You're a grown man and are more than capable of making this decision. Your GF will either jump on the train, or watch it pull away from the station.

It may sound harsh, but if she's not willing to be happy about you getting something you've wanted for such a long time, there's not a lot of chance that it'll go the distance.

Do your thing, Brother! Can't make someone else happy unless you are happy yourself.

---

Couldn't have said it better :gj:

If you've been waiting this long then I'd go for it, if she cares for you I would hope she'd have your back on you getting something that you've been wanted to get for a long time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gopherhockey03

Hi my names Tanner! To start off I am a die hard exotic pet fan. Out of my pets I own Tortoises, Leopard geckos and crested geckos. I was lucky growing up my family owns a pet zebra a pet kangaroo and my favorite our kinkajou! Growing up my parents were deathly afraid of getting a snake so no go on the snake then. Then I moved into the dorms... No snake there.... Then I moved into an apartment yet again no snake!!! Now I finally am moved into my new house and am settled in and I thought time to get my snake!!! :) I have been doing my research and feel I am 100% capable of having the commitment of this new pet. Now before I make $400 purchases I usually talk it over with the girlfriend she looked at me and these were her reactions ==>:O:colbert::rage: and these were mine ===>:(:bow::please::tears: I need your help guys I'm going to show her this thread reassure her they are awesome! And they rarely bite! I have been waiting since I was 8 to get a snake i'm 22 now help me out people it's been a long wait...

---

Some people just have an instilled fear of snakes that is bread into there bones. You can't change that... No matter how much you educate them.

Well after talking her tonight I wanted her to write down as many reasons as possible why she doesn't want me to get one. Here is her reasoning...

1. Escaping
2. Biting
3. Feeding

Now I explained all of those things and showed her what you guys said and she does feel a lot more open to the idea of it. And doesn't mind as long as I NEVER feed live and she never sees me feed it which I think is fair! I know she will love it as soon as I have it so i'm pretty excited thanks everyone! The cool thing was around where I live we have BUTT LOADS of garter snakes and she told me when she was 5 or 6 she use to collect hundreds and put them in pales and let them go and her fear came from watching her sister get bit! She said her sister cried and cried and ever since then she has been scared of all snakes! She was embarrassed to tell me! Hopefully I can warm her back up to them! But thanks again and i'm sure I will be posting help questions soon :)

I know you've waited a long time, but if she lives with you (i don't remember if you said she does or not), I don't suggest "just getting one". It's her space too, and if she's afraid then its not fair to force someone to deal with it. It sounds like you two have worked some things out though, which is great. And hey, there's plenty of us girls on here who own/breed bps if she wants to come on and ask questions! :)

Sent from my ADR6425LVW using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by moonlightgdess

I know you've waited a long time, but if she lives with you (i don't remember if you said she does or not), I don't suggest "just getting one". It's her space too, and if she's afraid then its not fair to force someone to deal with it. It sounds like you two have worked some things out though, which is great. And hey, there's plenty of us girls on here who own/breed bps if she wants to come on and ask questions! :)

Sent from my ADR6425LVW using Tapatalk

---

Agree, could end up doing more harm then good.

Honestly I think your best argument is your first post, how much you have wanted one, and all the reasons why you want one.