Hilarious things parents say

My mom is allowing me to bring my BP to her house for a few months this summer while I stay with her. Her bizarre conditions:

It will not leave my room
It will not touch the carpet in the room
It or anything it has touched will not be cleaned it in bathtub

and my personal favorite...
"It will not be taken outside where it can escape and breed with a rattlesnake and create some terrible monster."

I read somewhere that J.K Rowling intends Nagini to be read as a python/ viper hybrid. Since her story is magical, I call that awesome. But seeing as my mom is deadly serious, I call that hilarious. :rofl:

:rofl: :8: Just make sure you don't catch her putting a padlock on the door...while you're in there! :8: :rofl:

lol my girlfriends mom is constantly freaking out about our snakes, she thinks that they will somehow be able to get out of our locked cages and eat us... as of right now our largest snake weighs 600 grams (what a monster lol)

My mom called me all worried after somebody told her about something that happened to "a friend"...turns out it was that ridiculous urban legend about the boa constrictor "measuring" its owner for dinner... :rofl:

(Not to mention my baby bp weighs less than a cheeseburger...)

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Originally Posted by sbit

(Not to mention my baby bp weighs less than a cheeseburger...)

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HAHAHA. Sooooo true. Also, every time I go visit her for the weekend, I come home with scratches from her psychotic cat who is one of those "purr...purr...snuggle....purrr....BLOOD" cats, yet my scary snake has never bit me, and would do considerably less damage than that insane cat if she ever did.

My parents can't even call my balls, snakes. They're "The Creatures"!

Same goes for my ferrets.

"Don't bring the creatures home!!!!!!!!!!!"

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When I lived at home my mom wouldn't let me even bring them into the house, then I moved out and naturally had some in my house soon after. It was quite funny watching her come in the house and instantly scan the ground for snakes lol. Go forward 2 years later, we ended up getting a baby pastel hypo, I showed my mom when she was over and she asked if she could hold it.... I was amazed. Now he is full grown and she will go drag that same snake out of the cage to hold lol. Still the only snake she holds but she loves him.

So you never know, she might come around, I never thought my mom would. It was a slow process, but now I have to tell her to leave him alone when he's breeding lol.

Yeah, I do give my mom a lot of credit because she at least is willing to admit that just because SHE is grossed out by snakes, I don't have to be. She has said, "I'm not AFRAID of them, I just don't LIKE them!" I showed her my adorable little BP when I first got her and my snake looked at her with tongue flicking and my mom said to her, "Ewe, you are disgusting and I don't like you."

She does, however, admit that my snake is very pretty and "would make a nice belt." She's just playfully pushing my buttons, but at least she can recognize that it's a pretty animal, even if she wants nothing to do with it. Honestly, that is all I expect from people who aren't into snakes. Just appreciate their right to exist, you don't have to like them.

ROFL you should see what DSHS made us do to keep the dangerous young BP in our home :) They think its in a locking cage and will just kill all the other kids our home. The dangerous snake can not come out when adults arent home ---- they were a little overboard and the sons snake is only 290G hate to see hwat they would think of the 1300G girl I am sitting :)

Haha, that's pretty funny. My dad asked me to swear to get rid of them when I get pregnant so that they won't get out and eat my babies. I told him if I swore that, he would never have any grandchildren.

Ok how about things wife's say, last night I'm in my man cave changing their waters and my wife yells down to me "just to let you know if that new one gets out and hurts the kids I will chop its head off and shove it down your throat" ......she's such a sweet heart. Lol

Yep, my mother and grandmother keep trying to convince me to see off my collection. My husband and I want to start a family and they are convinced our ball pythons will get out and eat the baby. :rolleyes:

The first year after I retired from the USAF I had my Folks and my Kids visit my place for Christmas. At the time I had a juvie Normal and a baby Pastel. This was the first time my kids had been able to interact with my BPs, so I had the Normal boy out and was letting him roam around my hands on the living room floor while my kids made up their minds about this whole snake thing (Son jumped right on board, the Daughter took a little longer but is now the one who's crazy for them).

The whole time this was going on, my Dad was standing all the way across the living room and half way onto the patio. After making several comments about how nice my Normal would look as a belt, I reminded him that male BP's rarely make it to 5 feet, and that wouldn't be nearly enough belt for his waist...

He then announced that snakes like that can strike further than their body length. I calmly responded that ball pythons are well known for being able to strike 24 times the length of their bodies, and that on occasion they have been known to spontaneously grow wings and the ability to spit fire...and that he might want to back up just a little bit further.

By this time my Kids were laughing so hard at him that he finally gave up.

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Originally Posted by Slim

The first year after I retired from the USAF I had my Folks and my Kids visit my place for Christmas. At the time I had a juvie Normal and a baby Pastel. This was the first time my kids had been able to interact with my BPs, so I had the Normal boy out and was letting him roam around my hands on the living room floor while my kids made up their minds about this whole snake thing (Son jumped right on board, the Daughter took a little longer but is now the one who's crazy for them).

The whole time this was going on, my Dad was standing all the way across the living room and half way onto the patio. After making several comments about how nice my Normal would look as a belt, I reminded him that male BP's rarely make it to 5 feet, and that wouldn't be nearly enough belt for his waist...

He then announced that snakes like that can strike further than their body length. I calmly responded that ball pythons are well known for being able to strike 24 times the length of their bodies, and that on occasion they have been known to spontaneously grow wings and the ability to spit fire...and that he might want to back up just a little bit further.

By this time my Kids were laughing so hard at him that he finally gave up.

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Hahahahaha! Grow wings and spit fire... love it. There are some that would believe that, you know...

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Originally Posted by Slim

I calmly responded that ball pythons are well known for being able to strike 24 times the length of their bodies, and that on occasion they have been known to spontaneously grow wings and the ability to spit fire...and that he might want to back up just a little bit further.

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That's really good! I have to remember that.

My father frequently refers to our home as Julie's Ark, or The Zoo. My mother just rolls her eyes every time I bring a snake out.

I love these stories! Hahaha. It's so funny when people who know NOTHING pretend to know anything. IMO, ignorance is not stupidity. Ignorance is an unwillingness to learn. Some people will just never come around.

My mother just found out not that long ago that I have four snakes. She absolutely hates snakes and her response to me for having them is that she hopes they escape at night while I am asleep and strangle me. She insists that they want to eat me and bite me. Well, after the comment about the strangling we have not talked since. :rolleyes:

I'm so lucky that my mother is accepting of the whole snake thing. She raised her eyebrows a little, but she's willing to give him a chance, and if nothing else appreciate his beauty from a distance :)

My boyfriend's mother, on the other hand, has said that she will never come into our apartment again. This is actually sounds pretty damn good to me :P

My mom is fairly religious, and as per christian beliefs - she believes that all snakes are the mouthpiece of the devil. So she warns me not to listen to them if they start speaking.

Other than that, she calls my house the Zooarium, and just requires that the snakes stay IN their tubs/tanks whenever she's there. Except usually my little 14 year old sister is with her, and LOVES to hold them. So she normally wants to hold the biggest ones :P

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Originally Posted by Xotik

My mom is fairly religious, and as per christian beliefs - she believes that all snakes are the mouthpiece of the devil.

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Funny, in the piney woods where I was raised, handling snakes during the service was a sign of being a Christian....

Christian beliefs are like snow flakes. You never find two exactly the same.

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Originally Posted by Xotik

My mom is fairly religious, and as per christian beliefs - she believes that all snakes are the mouthpiece of the devil. So she warns me not to listen to them if they start speaking.

Other than that, she calls my house the Zooarium, and just requires that the snakes stay IN their tubs/tanks whenever she's there. Except usually my little 14 year old sister is with her, and LOVES to hold them. So she normally wants to hold the biggest ones :P

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I have always found it interesting that the creation story seems to override the multiple other stories in the bible that have more positive view on snakes... but that would require people to actually read more than just the first chapter lol

Lmao its 2012 and people still believe snakes are the devil. My mother in law said something along those lines before. [What] people believe is absolutely hilarious. A snake is a snake, nothing more nothing less. Just another creature living their life like you and me.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Lmao its 2012 and people still believe snakes are the devil. My mother in law said something along those lines before. [What] people believe is absolutely hilarious. A snake is a snake, nothing more nothing less. Just another creature living their life like you and me.

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And for those who believe the creating story, do they not realize that by their own logic God would have made snakes... and loves them the same as all of the other animals?

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Originally Posted by The Serpent Merchant

And for those who believe the creating story, do they not realize that by their own logic God would have made snakes... and loves them the same as all of the other animals?

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yes, That is what I have had to tell folks myself.

When I told my mother that I had a corn snake, a few days after she told me that she had a dream that it got out and was wrapped around my kids necks. I said that won't happen, they have a better chance of your mean dog biting them than my snake....... a few weeks after that I told her I got another snake and then another..... she said well don't bring them over here.
I find it funny that she asks how are your snakes doing sometimes when she calls. I just say I thought you were not interested in my snakes.

Oh man where do I begin... :rolleyes: lol

My mom has always hated the idea of having a snake in the house and even though I begged, cried, and annoyed the crap out of her as a kid, she still wouldn't budge! :colbert:

I had given up on the idea of owning a snake until high school when a friend was willing to trade me a baby ball python for a bunch of "gauge" earrings I had laying around (great deal right?). The same day I got it, I went to petsmart, bought all the equipment, and casually set it up in my house without my mom noticing...

Later that day she completely freaked out and told me I had to get rid of it immediately :rage:. But I negotiated for days... Told her I would cover the whole tank and never take it out of my room so she wouldn't see the snake, I would sanitize my hands after handling, that I had done my research and it was a really safe snake, etc. She unwillingly gave in a few days later and let me keep it.

Since then, she stills reminds me daily that I should get rid of the snake... and so does my grandma... and so do my aunts. Their excuses range from "getting out at night and strangling me", "getting a disease from it very easily", "getting a nasty bite" and countless other over-exaggerated things lol

Through years of experience, the best solution for moms and relatives like this has been sarcastic replies XD There's no arguing with stubborn snake-haters.

Oh my, we sure are a misunderstood lot, aren't we. I'm ok with it.

Another great thing my mom said:
She was visiting me, just sitting on my couch and I opened my tank to mist because I had had the heat on all day so humidity was dropping. As I was misting, my mom goes "Stop that, you're getting snake juice everywhere!!" I said, "she left her snake juice all over that couch you're sitting on when she was crawling on it yesterday." She promptly sat on the other couch. I didn't have the heart to tell her my snake is allowed on all furniture. :D

Like I said i my previous post, my mom calls my animals, "The creatures".
She hates snakes. But I always have to remind her that I'm a snake too!! (born 1989)

As an Asian, we celebrate the Lunar New year and follow the Chinese Zodiac Calendar.
2012 Year of the Snake!!!!OH YEAH!!!

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Originally Posted by satomi325

Like I said i my previous post, my mom calls my animals, "The creatures".
She hates snakes. But I always have to remind her that I'm a snake too!! (born 1989)

As an Asian, we celebrate the Lunar New year and follow the Chinese Zodiac Calendar.
2012 Year of the Snake!!!!OH YEAH!!!

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That's awesome! I'm not Asian, but I know I was born in the year of the snake two cycles ago (1989). I'm quite happy about that. :D

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Originally Posted by Slim

The first year after I retired from the USAF I had my Folks and my Kids visit my place for Christmas. At the time I had a juvie Normal and a baby Pastel. This was the first time my kids had been able to interact with my BPs, so I had the Normal boy out and was letting him roam around my hands on the living room floor while my kids made up their minds about this whole snake thing (Son jumped right on board, the Daughter took a little longer but is now the one who's crazy for them).

The whole time this was going on, my Dad was standing all the way across the living room and half way onto the patio. After making several comments about how nice my Normal would look as a belt, I reminded him that male BP's rarely make it to 5 feet, and that wouldn't be nearly enough belt for his waist...

He then announced that snakes like that can strike further than their body length. I calmly responded that ball pythons are well known for being able to strike 24 times the length of their bodies, and that on occasion they have been known to spontaneously grow wings and the ability to spit fire...and that he might want to back up just a little bit further.

By this time my Kids were laughing so hard at him that he finally gave up.

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:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Wow I must be very lucky then!! My mom went from NO SNAKES EVER my entire life growing up to volunteering to help me run a booth at a reptile show!!! She has absolutely fallen for them, once she came over and had to see all the different colors and our favorite book from John Berry..She just cant figure out how to "make a veggie eater snake" cause the mice and rats are "too cute to feed"!!

Love my mom!

I'm sure there are vegetarian snakes out there somewhere, maybe she would keep one as her own pet. :D

My mom isn't crazy about my keeping snakes, but she doesn't claim they are going to eat my kids anymore.

Gale

My story escalates. But I want you to keep in mind I am a Christian that is very involved with my church (which happens to be Assemblies of God... No we are not the ones that handle snakes, but it will play out in my story)

When purchased my first girl and showed my mom through a picture that I got a baby ball python... her and my step dad said don't ever bring it to my house. however they are not scared of the snake just didn't like them. shortly after I get pulled over taking my snake to the vet. I had a warrant I didn't know about. I warned the officer I had an animal in the back seat of the car. He didn't want to search my car when I told him it was a snake. But even though he told me that animal control will pick it up and I could have someone pick it up from them, I was worried that they never got it out of my car. I bounded out the next day and my mom and I went to the impound lot to check on my car... I didn't have the money at the time to get my car back but was allowed to get my security uniform out and other things. My mom did bring a towel I could wrap my snake up in if it was still in there due to the cooler temps... Thank God the snake was taken in. I made it to AC to pick her up and it didn't cost me a thing, but I did give them a $25 donation for taking good care of her.

Fast forward a month I get my second BP from a friend for my birthday. My mom thanks I am just nuts, but because of the arrest I loose my job and couldn't afford to live anywhere on where I was working. My mom and stepdad said no at first, but I found a friend who said he would hold them, that lived around the corner of from my mom. I was able to go over any time to take care of them. until one day I went over and his dad said I had to take them that my friend was going out of town for a few weeks. I wanted to cry I didn't know what to do I went home and talked to my mom who said no... no... no... What ever call your step dad but he is going to say no... I had a walk in closet there and when I called I told him to hear me out and hear my idea. He said they must stay in the closet. He was worried about the dogs trying to get a hold of them. The first words out of his mouth was... YES!

My mom starting to really see how attached I was to these snakes started gaining an intrest and even started to go in and talk to them and say hi and good night... They became her grand kids... she eventually started to hold them then to pick them up. My stepdad loved them because when my mom told my grandmother that we had them there she said that if she came down from Dallas to visit we would have to put them outside. My step dad asked if that was keeping her from visiting, she said yes, and he said hell... Get more!

fast forward. We lose our house I have to give up my snakes cause we have to go to a hotal. I ended up was able to keep my big one there. but my mom got into an arguement one day and I told her I was going to go stay at my church, I couldn't take it living in the room with any longer. And this stirs a whole heap on me from my grandmother because they though I was abbonding my family because my church told me to leave my family so my grandmother ask me to call her... I did The first two things she said was that I needed to stop going to my church because they told me to leave my family, and I needed to kill my snake because it was Satan.

I had just did a research on legless or glass lizards at this time and came to the conclusion that a serpent is not a snake rather it is a legless lizard. ( the serpent walked up off if its belly and was cursed to crawl on its belly all of its day, Legless lizards have what look like remants of legs that have tissue out side the body running to the spine.) Now I am not still not going to kill or hate those lizards because of that, same as I am not going to hate or kill any human that satan uses, or worship a man that God talks through or a Donkey because God spoke through a donkey.

my mom with my big girl
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...906_214322.jpg
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2..._2535601_o.jpg

and that dog does not want to hurt that snake
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...3/IMAG0063.jpg
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...3/IMAG0067.jpg

Hehe. When I first got my snakes my step mother was so terrified of the idea that I had to refer to them as my "rabbits." She's slowly gotten to the point that she can admit I have pet snakes now, and asks about them out of politeness. Someday maybe I'll get her comfortable enough to be in the same room as my mojave male, no one has been able to resist his somewhat derpy charm :D

LOL this is hilarious :D

My Mum would never let me have a pet like a snake...but I moved in with my grandparents a couple of years ago and after some seven months of persistent pestering eventually they said it was okay...

My Grandmothers only opinion on the matter?
"If she get's out, I swear down I'll hit her with a brick."

O_O Luckily she's a fan of her now...!!

I just didn't tell her about the time she got out and hid in my pillowcase.

I could just keep the stories about my mom coming, I swear she comes up with a new one every time she visits.

She was just over and my snake just happened to be exploring the sliding glass at the front of the viv. Every now and then, she will attempt to stick her nose in-between the panels (she can only get her tongue through) and she will even wedge herself in the track and inch a long, very suspiciously, as if she is fully aware that they slide open. There is a lock on the glass for this reason, but, "That THING is trying to escape and she has NOTHING but time to figure out how!" I have a pull out couch in the living room, but it is right next to the viv, so my mom will not sleep on it when she visits, I have to give her my bad and I am the one that gets the couch. Because of course, the scary snake is plotting an escape and all kinds of bad things will happen if the succeeds in opening the lock by inserting the key that is three feet away with her telekinetic snake powers.