Punchline

We've all heard the good joke. The one that all you need to hear is the punchline to start laughing like a mad man. Let's share. If you haven't heard the joke before just ask, and some one will be sure to give the leader.


I'll start-

EDITED: FOLKS KEEP IN MIND THIS IS AN ALL-AGES SITE. POST APPROPRIATELY. ~Smulkin

Not sure about any punchline-only jokes I could share, but I'll post my older daughter's two current favorite riddles.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to dress the giraffe, and one to put the clocks back in the bathtub.

How many kids with ADD* does it take to change a lightbulb?
Look! A bunny!




*Kids with ADD and their parents can appreciate this one more than anyone else. ;)

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Originally Posted by Jack_Hammer

We've all heard the good joke. The one that all you need to hear is the punchline to start laughing like a mad man. Let's share. If you haven't heard the joke before just ask, and some one will be sure to give the leader.


I'll start-

EDITED: FOLKS KEEP IN MIND THIS IS AN ALL-AGES SITE. POST APPROPRIATELY. ~Smulkin

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HAHAHAHAH, shot down..... that's a good one :D

Heck folks - if I of ALL people can manage to keep it clean while posting - monumental effort though it daily is as I make DEADWOOD sound like Romper Room when I speak - anyone can ;)

It will take me hours to fish up something I can post here ;) but I shall dig.

Age appropriate? My 9yr. old brother told me that one... It's not like I was talkin' about the white horse that fell in the mud.........


O.K.- I hope I don't offend any dead people here....

Bell tower owner- Do you recognize this guy?
Coroner- No, but his face rings a bell.
Bell tower owner- Well, how about this guy?
Coroner- No, but he's a dead ringer for his brother.

I've got another one, but I'm gonna save Smulkin the time.



EDITED: FOLKS KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS IS AN ALL AGES SITE. POST APPROPRIATLY.

Hilarity ensues.

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Originally Posted by Jack_Hammer

Age appropriate? My 9yr. old brother told me that one...

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Your parents' standards for your household are not relevant here. Our standards based on our understanding of what is commonly accepted language for use with and around young kids are what apply on this site.

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Originally Posted by Marla

Your parents' standards for your household are not relevant here. Our standards based on our understanding of what is commonly accepted language for use with and around young kids are what apply on this site.

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(Gee, that sounds kind of rude. Kinda like your dissin' my folks.)



In the words of Steve Martin-

WELLLL, EXCUUUUSE MEEEEE!

if your folks need to be dissed then well......

no one is being dissed. marla is just stating that the site's standards are based on what is commonly accepted, which may or may not be the same as your family's standards. there is no problem with your parents--you are simply asked to adhere to the forum's standards when posting here.

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Originally Posted by Jack_Hammer

(Gee, that sounds kind of rude. Kinda like your dissin' my folks.)


In the words of Steve Martin-

WELLLL, EXCUUUUSE MEEEEE!

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Nope, not dissin' your folks. I simply guessed that since you thought it was okay because your brother told the joke, that it was acceptable within the standards of your household.

I have two kids and Smulkin and Smynx have three and Jeanne has two and we all have a little bit different standards for what goes in our households, but have to agree on what standard applies here. We have middle-schoolers reading on a regular basis, and younger folks sometimes as well, and it's our goal to be a community that is welcoming to them and that their parents are okay with their visiting to learn about herping.

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Originally Posted by patthesnakeman

if your folks need to be dissed then well......

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Take it easy Pat.


DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS IN TO A YO MAMA THREAD! lol

Now that's not a bad idea at all (entries of course not in reference to anyone's mother in particular heh)!

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Originally Posted by Marla

Nope, not dissin' your folks. I simply guessed that since you thought it was okay because your brother told the joke, that it was acceptable within the standards of your household.

I have two kids and Smulkin and Smynx have three and Jeanne has two and we all have a little bit different standards for what goes in our households, but have to agree on what standard applies here. We have middle-schoolers reading on a regular basis, and younger folks sometimes as well, and it's our goal to be a community that is welcoming to them and that their parents are okay with their visiting to learn about herping.

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Are you still going off on that? This was suppossed to be a funny thread, not a get all up tight about a "family comunity" thread.


Chill.... It won't happen again!

Thelma and geez louise...(hey, Smulkin ;) )



Jack

I've had the worst last two weeks possible. I was just hoping you guys might cheer me up. Where are the jokes? I love the ADD joke Marla... Oh look a bunny!!! Quick more jokes!

Oh yeah thanks you guys for getting this site back up! I really appreciate all your work...you all are just wonderful!

Okay. Let's lighten things up. I was looking for a joke with a herp theme, and this is the closest thing I found that was funny:

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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

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That one was cute but I'm sure you can do better than that!

i love stupid blonde jokes(no offense to any blondes on this site lol)

i know this thread is like 3 days old but still i am bored and wanna post this old yo' mama joke i heard in the 3rd grade that when i was younger,no matter how many times i heard it i still had to laugh.

"yo mama so tall she when she summersaults she drop kicks jesus" i know stupid but i still love it!

Brian