How do you handle it?

I often come across random people I meet, and when the topic of my reptiles come up, sometimes it turns out they keep one or more too. As a lot of you probably know, usually the conversation turns into the setup or how often they're fed, etc. How do you handle when someone who seems to genuinely care for their reptile, keeps them completely wrong.

I'm not a know it all, and I know I'll probably be learning about these guys for the rest of my life, but when it comes to general care I definitely know the difference between what's acceptable, and what's completely wrong. How do you talk to them about correct care without coming off like a cocky you-know-what?

How do you handle conversations where you don't believe the person researched enough about their reptiles without coming off as a jerk?

say "hey,, do you know what,,, theres a really cool forum called BP.net, you should check it out!"
spooky

I've done that before...one person in particular...and I doubt he has lol. What if they say "naaaahhhh I'm not much into forums" lol then what Spooky? ;)

First things first I try to never offer advice I wasn't asked for (don't always succeed but ya know). Now if I am asked the easiest way that I've found to go about it is but stating what you seen with your animals. i.e. "Can you keep two ball pythons in one tank?" short answer is "yes you can people do it all the time, now there are some relative dangers to be aware of ..bla bla not eating bla bla fighting for heat bla bla security ect ect" Unless the animals health is at risk then telling them the proper way is a finely adjusted art from person to person. Be nice and try and do it like how you'd explain email to your BF or SO's grandmother. Be firm and knowledgeable without being rough or judgmental. Remember they cared enough to ask so use it as a chance to shine.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Freakie_frog

First things first I try to never offer advice I wasn't asked for (don't always succeed but ya know). Now if I am asked the easiest way that I've found to go about it is but stating what you seen with your animals. i.e. "Can you keep two ball pythons in one tank?" short answer is "yes you can people do it all the time, now there are some relative dangers to be aware of ..bla bla not eating bla bla fighting for heat bla bla security ect ect" Unless the animals health is at risk then telling them the proper way is a finely adjusted art from person to person. Be nice and try and do it like how you'd explain email to your BF or SO's grandmother. Be firm and knowledgeable without being rough or judgmental. Remember they cared enough to ask so use it as a chance to shine.

---

What if they don't ask, but offer info such as keeping two balls together and talking in a sense that they know what they are doing?

i dunno,,,, you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make them drink.. i work with a guy that catches rattlesnakes and sells them.. he says that he sells them to a guy that extracts venom,, but i kinda got my doubts about that.... sooooooo i just hapened to show him a few pics of EDB bites and ask him if he makes enough off of them to pay for THAT... as much as we'd like to, we cant change the world.
good luck on that
spooky

I've had similar experiences with a few people around here. I will generally make suggestions backed up with reason. I've also directed people to an incredible local pet store, forums, and websites. And once I kinda flew off the handle and told people that they would have a bunch of dead animals on their hands if they did not shape up...that did not go over too well.

the unfortunate truth is that so many animals will go improperly cared for, and you can only offer sound advice and hope it's followed in most cases.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LGray23

What if they don't ask, but offer info such as keeping two balls together and talking in a sense that they know what they are doing?

---

Depending on what they are talking about.. are their temp's 10 degree's off..Meh let it slide..

But if they're keeping the snake on cedar in a shoe box under their bed and only feeding it chicken wings every 6-8 weeks, they get my two cent's free of charge. :D

Idk, I guess I'm just that type of person where when something needs to be said, it is. I try not to come off as a know-it-all or a smarty mcfarty, but I'm almost sure some people think that about me.

I have invited people to my house ( not just any Joe Schmoe of the street ) so they can view my setups, husbandry, etc., etc. to help them get a better idea on how certain things "should" be done. But I guess it all comes down to weather they accept and appreciate your advice or just nod and smile and give you the finger behind your back.

Just slowly talk to them and bring it up.. If they give you a wrong fact then correct them nicely and if they don't believe you show them proof.

NOW...there are some horrible times that go real bad :rolleyes:

I got into it with the local store I did a review on in the Feedbacks. :P I asked how badly the Spider BALL PYTHON wobbled, and he looked clearly at me and said, "uhhh...It doesn't are you stupid?" I looked at him and said "are you going to really lie to me when you KNOW I have MULTIPLE snakes?" he kinda went on and on, and I said after a while, "all I asked you was about the wobble..*rant on a while* and you lied to me" his last response before I walked out with my female mouse. "Whoever told you Spiders wobble is a (insert multiple bad words and insults here)"

Needless to say, some people just won't learn. even after YEARS. lol

If you know someone who is NEW to snakes then jut slowly educate them, that's really all we can do, we can't force people to change and keep there pets better, BUT we can educate them!

If it's someone I know, I'll more than likely say "yer doin' it wrong." just because I'm that kind of person at times. If it's a stranger that I overhear, I probably won't say anything unless it's REALLY bad, because I don't like talking to people that aren't in my little friendly area. Even people that I've known for a while but don't casually talk to I'll hesitate conversing with.

Honestly I will never b rude but I'm a blunt person who will say something if it needs to be said. I would do so respectfully and if I as given a negative response I probably just wouldn't care because I feel that if you are unable to take advice regarding the care of your animal or get mad because someone tried to give advice then your not someone I really want to talk to in the first place. I woul except someones wrong advice if they cared even if I knew they were wrong just because they cared enough to try. I would let them know they were wrong but that's besides the point. To get mad at advice to me is dumb because at the end of the day thy have the choice to follow it or not. Its not like you got a gun to their head saying do this now or do that now. Its advice and people have the will power to take it or leave it. So it really comes down to who you are talking to. But a genuine person shoulnt respond negatively by you just saying hey just advice and I would like to help and state your knowledge. You can also tell a white lie and go oh I used to do that to until I found this great forum and learned the proper way. By the way here are some other things I learned, tell them about bp.net and put yourself in their shoes so you don't come off as a know it all type because hey we all did start somewhere.

i will be that cocky person who will flat out tell them there wrong. Id rather the animal live a better life then worry about what someone thinks of me.

You could start a conversation something like...

I was talking to this guy who keeps (insert whatever animal you're concerned about) and he says that he....then explain what you think would be better for the animal. You can say you tried it after doing it like whoever you're trying to educate and your animals did much better that way and then either try to continue the conversation or leave knowing you made the effort.

You could also ask if they're having any particular problems, heat, humidity, feeding etc. If so, that can be addressed issue by issue or by using the above opening.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Freakie_frog

First things first I try to never offer advice I wasn't asked for (don't always succeed but ya know).

---

I'm in the same boat. It's not a matter of what other people think of me but of general respect. Whether or not I agree with how a person does things, I don't like to assume that my answer to doing something is the "right" one.

Now, if the snake in question is sick I would bring it up lightly, saying "Oh, I noticed s/he's wheezing a little, might want to get that checked out by a vet" or whatever the case may be. But beyond that I won't impose my ways on someone else unless they ask for advice.

It is certainly a tricky situation to be in, though.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wilomn

You could start a conversation something like...

I was talking to this guy who keeps (insert whatever animal you're concerned about) and he says that he....then explain what you think would be better for the animal. You can say you tried it after doing it like whoever you're trying to educate and your animals did much better that way and then either try to continue the conversation or leave knowing you made the effort.

---

This is what I tend to do. When I would go into Petco to get rodents, the clerks would ask about my reptile, how I keep them, then go into how tubs are too small, too dark, and how feeding in the enclosure will make them want to eat me.. Normally I say something along the lines of
"I'm part of a forum dedicated to ball pythons, and after changing my setup to be almost identical to most of the other ball python keepers out there, I haven't had a single problem with my ball pythons that are due to the way I house/feed/clean them :P"

One thing I try to do is stick to one or two BIG issues. If you overwhelm them with the laundry list of what they're doing wrong, you come across as a jerk (which means you get ignored), or it's too much for them to remember even if they want to.

I am new and I have had a lot of help from a lot of people, one because I an a old Army man and I anm not a know it all and there is no dumb question. I have to young people how have taken time to teach me and my family in the ins and outs and they are breeders. Plus I ask a lot of myybe dumb question in this one and BP forums trying to understand the right way.

So if someone ask a question and can not at least take what you have to say and apply or learn form it well they are the ones who are failing and are hurting the amimal for thinking they know it all. You are never to old to learn something new.

I am glad that you all are will to give this retired Soldier the time of day and the help I need.

Thank :) You

In general I approach that kind of situation like this:

I will simply give them a suggestion, tell them the reason why, and then CITE THE SOURCES for that knowledge.

Then you can let them know that your suggestion was just a suggestion and they can handle it however they please. At that point you've given them the facts that they need to fix the issue.

You're not the jerk because you're just conveying a fact that someone else has already proven. They're the jerk for proving it.

Even if the conversation goes as bad as it can, it will simply end with you saying "I don't know dude, I'm just telling you what I read in multiple places. There seems to be a pretty clear consensus on it." You're still not the bad guy or the know it all because you acknowledge that YOU weren't the one who proved it.

If someone is too stubborn or lazy to go seek out the proper info at that point, they simply shouldn't be responsible for the care of another animal.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LGray23

What if they don't ask, but offer info such as keeping two balls together and talking in a sense that they know what they are doing?

---

In that case I would say "I would never keep two balls together for longer than necessary to breed should I decide to to that some day." If they then try to tell me how they have done it for years. I usually say something like "People kept other people as slaves for years and as it turns out it was wrong the whole time." If they start going into specific reasons why its ok then I will go into specific reasons why I don't think it is ok.

At the end of the day I tend to give advice when I feel its needed at the first sign that I can get away with it. I give advice with reasons and site a reference. There are two basic ways this can go. Either they take the advice and continue to talk about the topic, which is fine. Or they stop talking to me altogether or at least about the topic. That's usually fine too. I have to much going on to surround myself with people who are proud of how wrong they are.