Coping with Closed Minds

Hey y'all. I came across a situation recently that I thought I would share and see if anyone ever had the same. After I got my spider last week I was so excited I took a bunch of pictures and posted them on facebook. I got a close friend of mine commenting that she was super excited for me, even has a boy of her own she's had for a couple years and now she's interested in getting more... she's even gonna go to the expo with me in November. My concern, however, wasn't from my friend.

My cousin responded to one of the pictures I posted, "Ew gross, kill it". My first reaction was just rage. I can't imagine anyone telling another person to kill their pets. Like them or not, that's an animal that matters to another person. I told her fairly calmly that I didn't think it was appropriate. That I never say to kill her dogs or lizards, so I find it offensive that she would say that about my snakes. She apologized but quickly followed with a snake is not like a dog or lizard, that anything that crawls doesn't belong in a home, especially something that can hurt people.

To me this seems incredibly close minded and judgemental. Has anyone dealt with this kind of behavior before? It seems to me the opinions people have of snakes simply isn't fair. My aunt even told me I was being a careless mother for bringing a snake into my house with a young child, that I wasn't thinking of her well being. I mean... come on. Neither of my little girls could hurt my baby unless she tried to swallow them and choked. (Which by the way would never happen as they are out of reach of her and never, ever, has she even touched them without me holding them.)

This just frustrates me to no end. What would you do? What have you done? How do you cope with people being so blind to how truly great these animals are?

The only way to combat ignorance is with education. I am dealing with the issue now with family and coworkers, but I am bringing them around with snakes. Now, getting them to agree with me about how great pitbulls are, is another battle.

Honestly, I was petrified of snakes up until very recently. My fiance had a ball python, and I wouldnt go in the same room with it. I held him once on my own before he died and the idea of getting another one was only appealing because it would make him happy. Ironicly enough I was the one who saw my little girl at the pet store and begged to get that one specifically XDD.

Even when I was scared of them though(which that fear is LONG gone:rolleyes: )
I never wished harm on them. I just didnt want to be around them. Some people just think because a snake can get six feed long it will turn into a bloodthirsty monster and swallow your kids. Unfortunately because of all the demonization snakes have experienced in, the christian cultures more than any other, people just wont accept them. I actually know a woman who considers snakes the incarnation of satan and goes out of her way to run them over with her car if she sees one on the street. You need to really experience what having a snake as a pet is like in order to feel what we feel for them I guess.

Id say your best best is to grin and bear it. It sucks, but no amount of talking will change a stubborn preconception. And getting mad will only push the ignorant further away. Im really sorry youre meeting so much opposition = (

Been there.. Am there.. I have certain members of my family that will no longer come to my house because of my snakes. Its an irrational fear, but a fear none the less. Some will come arround with a little education. My best expierence is letting them ask all the questions under the sun and having good quality answers for them.

If you know lots and can pass that info on. Then it is easier for them to feel comfortable.

I knew going into snakes that they aren't for everyone. It's something that gets easier to deal with the longer you your in the hobby.. Just smile and ignore them..

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Originally Posted by Riv

I actually know a woman who considers snakes the incarnation of satan and goes out of her way to run them over with her car if she sees one on the street.

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Not to dive into the religious angle too much, but I find it pretty ridiculous that she uses death and destruction as her defense of good... Does she support the Crusades as well? ;)

I knew that there were people out there who do not like snakes. I even knew that some of my family doesn't like snakes. What I wasn't prepared for was the level of hatred they have for them. To mention killing them or to tell me I'm putting my daughter in danger just boggles me! :rolleye2:

You will never change the minds of everyone. there will always be those that have a fear of snakes.educated them is not going to help.ignoring them is the only option

To be completely honest, when people tell me that "I better get rid of my snake before I have kids" or something like that nonsense... I kinda breathe a sigh of relief. I know for a fact that there's no danger, especially when considering the amount of harm an angry bp would do vs an angry dog. But that irrational fear on their part just means I'll never be asked to babysit, or deal with their kids coming over :D

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Originally Posted by Annarose15

Not to dive into the religious angle too much, but I find it pretty ridiculous that she uses death and destruction as her defense of good... Does she support the Crusades as well? ;)

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Haha. Well in her defense, she kinda went bat poop crazy. Her daughter was born with diabetes and scoliosis, then after they finally thought they had that under control she had her first signs of Multiple sclerosis. By the time they had it diagnosed she was CONVINCED the devil was out to get her and her family and went on a psycho religious rampage running over snakes and trying to expel demons. It was a little nuts XDD I no longer go to that church though so I cant really say how she is these days.

But either way, blaming the snakes aint the way to go here.

I admit, I have been afraid of snakes my whole life. I got my first snake "bp" this week and still a little skiddish holding him. BUT...I think they are beautiful and fascinating creatures and the more I learn about them, the more I like them. I just wish I could get my first bite out of the way haha.

I really don't mind if people dislike snakes. That is probably an extention of how I feel about myself. If someone doesn't like me that is their personal choice. As long as they don't act on their feelings no harm and no foul.

What burns me is if someone dislikes snakes and tries to prohibit people who want them from owning them. I dislike plenty of stuff that many people might possess or do and as long as it doesn't harm me or another person more power to them. I kinda figure that I'm due the same consideration in return.

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Originally Posted by spasticbeast

The only way to combat ignorance is with education. I am dealing with the issue now with family and coworkers, but I am bringing them around with snakes. Now, getting them to agree with me about how great pitbulls are, is another battle.

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Yup, I am always up for the opportunity to educate someone about snakes. You can't win them all, but you can sure try and who here doesn't love talking about our scaly friends?

On the other hand, its great when "certain" people have fear of snakes. My parents for instance. Although they live 2,000 miles away, they have openly stated that they will never visit our house. I am perfectly ok with that! :D

I guess I don't really need to explain the bad rap that pits get. Some of the sweetest, best family dogs I ever met were pits. Chihuahuas (or similar breeds) on the other hand, I have found to be rather snippy and temperamental. I've known many people who had them and gotten bit, especially kiddos. I've known more people with pits than chihuahuas and no one I know who owned a pit has been bitten by them.

You just have to ignore people like that, or constantly come back at them with actual facts.

One of my close friends used to tell me all the time that my snakes were evil and that I should just let them go outside or kill them. For the record he considered them evil because he likes mice/rats and I was feeding live when I got my first snake. :rolleyes:

Every time he would say something like that I would come back at him with facts or explain how much my snakes mean to me. I think he started to get it too, because he will occasionally ask about my snakes now and it's been a long time since he's said anything negative.

Well if she wants to use religion JESUS death forgave all sins so that would include the snake's sin as well. Or what about the people who have been taken by the Devile does that make all people bad as well. As for personal hatred of snake educate them show them how docile and easy handled BP's are. Or just dont invite them over to see your snakes. I could not have snakes as a boy my mom is terrified of them but with some education and time she will look at them at least now:) Best of luck and remember to not use anger but love to help change a person it works a lot better:D

Been there. I too have heard the "They represent the devil" BS, thanks to the bible. But a person here made a really good comment that I always use to respond to that phrase. Snakes are God's creatures, too, and if they weren't meant to be here, they would have gone extinct years ago. :P

Irrational fears, I truly understand. I respect that completely. I have a serious phobia to a lot of bugs. It's so bad, that I can't even kill them. I would probably avoid going to someone's house who kept those giant roaches as pets. It just plain wigs me out. But would I suggest they should kill them? Never.

To each his own. :)

I find a lot of people who say those types of things can be really curious of snakes but really scared at the same time. Just don't humour them with an arguement. I'm in the military and trust me I hear it all the time... "don't get your snake near me or it'll end up without a head, my belt, etc....". I just say ok well don't get your dog or cat near me or it'll end up my welcome mat. (Obviously I would never do that) It get's them to understand that they are talking about something I care about and I love just the same way they lover their pets. Usually after that comes the flood of questions. You have no idea how many people I have met who claimed they hated snakes but I got "hey maybe I can hold one of the snakes and take a pic with it or something" it's just put it in perspective they can understand. If that doesn't work well then just say you do what you do I'll do what I do. Never get in an arguement with them it'll only make them feel better. You have no idea how many times I have had to refrain from punching someone when they are like "I saw a snake this weekend, ran it over with my lawnmower haha". I just respond with "cool story bro" and leave it at that. Never let them see it bothers me or get's me upset.

I think it was just the way that they responded. I understand fears as well as anyone else. Spiders and Scorpions scare the bajeebus out of me. Just the same I do not think I would ever tell someone who owned one and considered it there pet to kill it. I think that sometimes people just don't think when they say things. As I said, my cousin did apologize for making the comment about killing them. I think people just have preconcieved notions that all snakes are dangerous or that all constrictors will end up the size of an anaconda.

I am just trying to be patient and explain my stance on them. Whether people agree with it or not, I truly love them. I have never been bitten, but I am SURE its far less detrimental than a dog bite. What blows my mind is we've had a family member mauled by a dog, nearly tore half her face off, yet they love dogs and will bad talk snakes. Have any of them ever been bitten by a snake? NOPE! lol.

Sometimes I wish my mother were still around. I know for a fact she would have loved my snakes. She used to come down to the science lab when I was working there and hold the rosie boa. At least I know that she'd be on my side if she were around! Thanks everyone for all the support!

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Originally Posted by bigmike

You have no idea how many times I have had to refrain from punching someone when they are like "I saw a snake this weekend, ran it over with my lawnmower haha".

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You mean the same snake that chased them around the yard? :rolleyes:

i live in an asian country where snakes are considered atrocious, almost everyone i meet will throw a disgusted face when i told them i own a snake. some people even said harsh things about me n my snake. i was disappointed with the negativity and have learned to keep this hobby just to myself.

my housemate is herpetophobic, he's absolutely afraid of snakes and wouldn't let me keep any in the house, but after much persuasion and some facts he finally gave in and allowed me to keep one, with conditions. im just so glad that he agreed!

sometimes i feel so alone not having anyone to share my joy of snakekeeping.
wouldn't know what to do without this community, thank god for bp.net i love you guys!!

I'm pretty sure that you don't actually HAVE to explain yourself to anyone.

You like them. You have them.

If you don't explain, they can't complain.

It's not like you need permission.

Any more I just simply tell me people that they miss understand the reality of snakes, and that there fear is out of miss guided education. I tell them to try to open up there eyes, and allow a good education, and face the fear and and find for them selves they are not dangerous.

I have people come into my house all of the time who are afraid of snakes. The majority of them leave thinking they are pretty cool and have handled or touched a few of them. I've even sold a few snakes to people who when I first met them, were very afraid of snakes.

There are always some people who you can not teach because of irrational fear. For those, just smile and keep your snakes out of their sight. I have had some of these people in my house and they never come close or saw a snake. My ball room is kind of hidden away and off the main path for visitors to the house.

I love it when someone new comes into our home and finds out we have snakes and their first reaction is shock or fear. It gives me an opportunity to expand their horizons and show them what a cool pet they make.

And, as far as the religious thing goes, I name all of my snakes from the bible. Also, the serpent is both a symbol of good and evil in the bible. It is good, when Moses turns his staff into a serpent. Lots of people forget that!

i luckily have not encountered the "all snakes are evil and must die" attitude, most of the ppl ive told about mine have said they dont like them but when i start talking about them more they realize snakes arent that bad. whats the funniest is when i tell them that snakes have normal looking turds that look a lot like most other animals, ppl usually just laugh and ask a bunch of questions about that part.

i wasnt allowed to have snakes as a kid because my dad is super scared of them. the first time i showed him my normal, he ended up running down the driveway and hiding behind a car. i had even told him i was gonna go get it but i guess he didnt believe me. ive usually got one of my snakes out and with me in the mornings which is their time to be held and my dad will come over, it used to be he wouldnt even come inside but now thats he's realized they're pretty slow he'll come in the same room but just stare at it to make sure it stays over with me.

mostly i just keep my hobby to myself because of all the things ive read here about different ppl's attitudes and try to figure out whos cool with it or not and it seems to have worked pretty well so far.

Usually I try to equate my PET snakes with thier PET dogs(or cats or birds, whatever) and inform anyone with the "You should kill it!" mentality that I don't appreciate them saying I shoudl murder my pets anymore than they would appreciate me saying they shoudl euthanize their dog before it mauls their kids.

And if anyone said I should kill my snakes on facebook, I'd unfriend and block them with a note saying "Look, I don't suggest you euthanize your dog and say it'll maul your kids, so if you want to make hateful statements, make them elsewhere." Then block them.

I have run across this a time or two myself and must say the best defense is a solid knowledge of the animals you wish to defend. Also it doesn't hurt to try and understand where they are coming from. I have read many research pieces from different universities and they all seem to come to the conclusion that the fear of snakes is a learned behavior. Take a look at the website in the link at the end of my post.

People can take it to biblical extremes and those people are best left to themselves because some people just can not be reached. A person who truly believes that snakes are the devil should seriously stop reading bible passages that only suit what they themselves believe. There are a ton of bible versus on animals and some more specifically mention snakes but these should cover it nicely.

"I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you and with every living creature that was with you-the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you-every living creature on earth." (Genesis 9:9-10)

another mention

"In that day I will make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field and the birds of the air and the creatures that move along the ground. Bow and sword and battle I will abolish from the land, so that all may lie down in safety." (Hosea 2:18)


http://www.psychologicalscience.org/...12_1/Ohman.cfm

My mom is TERRIFIED of snakes (grew up in an area with quite a large cottonmouth population), and she just won't budge on it. Makes me sad, because my little sister is living at home for college and desperately wants a bp. I've offered to let my mom pet mine in a controlled environment, tried to explain how slow and fat my bumblebee is, told her a fat little bp won't even be able to get under my sister's door into the rest of the house, and she just won't have it!

I told my sister she gets first pick of my first clutch; I'm hoping she'll be out of my parents' house by then. XD

Simply show that person the number of injuries from pet dogs compared to pet snakes

Or

"My how well informed you are. Your research must have been exhaustive and the knowledge gained by such hard yet earnest work will no doubt stand you good stead for the remainder of your natural life. It's people like you, who take the time, who have the courage, the guts, the gumption, to thoroughly, painstakingly, at huge personal cost, research a subject you so obviously feel so negative about. And to have done so without bias, with no forethought to the outcome you came to, to dedicate yourself to such adherence to truth and the never ending quest for it, to have so openly, freely and with eager enthusiasm not seen since the cat and canary first realized that Granny wasn't waking up from this nap, you present your knowledge so tenderly, gently, as an old and familiar lover's caress, so softly does it brush against all that I and all the rest of the reptile world these many years have obviously mistakenly taken as truth.

Thank you for that, from the bottom of my peanutbutter filled heart, thank you for that.

Several people I know think my BP is the most atrocious thing they've ever seen... I just laugh it off and go about my merry way. No need to make a fuss.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Or

"My how well informed you are. Your research must have been exhaustive and the knowledge gained by such hard yet earnest work will no doubt stand you good stead for the remainder of your natural life. It's people like you, who take the time, who have the courage, the guts, the gumption, to thoroughly, painstakingly, at huge personal cost, research a subject you so obviously feel so negative about. And to have done so without bias, with no forethought to the outcome you came to, to dedicate yourself to such adherence to truth and the never ending quest for it, to have so openly, freely and with eager enthusiasm not seen since the cat and canary first realized that Granny wasn't waking up from this nap, you present your knowledge so tenderly, gently, as an old and familiar lover's caress, so softly does it brush against all that I and all the rest of the reptile world these many years have obviously mistakenly taken as truth.

Thank you for that, from the bottom of my peanutbutter filled heart, thank you for that.

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:rofl::rofl: That's freakin' AWESOME!!! Gotta remember this for the next one! lol

I don't really care who knows that I have pet snakes because...well because I like the shock value I get out of it. I tell people all the time. It gives me a chance to educate them about snakes and I find people in my area who have some of their own or used to have them.

Just like today, for example. One of the girls I work with didn't know I had them or even used to. Somehow they came up in conversation and when I admitted I had a snake...many snakes....to be exact, I saw the fear in her eyes and started talking about how much she hated them...blah...blah...blah.... I let her carry on until she settled down, going about my work and basically ignoring her rant lol. About an hour later she was telling a customer that I had several snakes and how *crazy* I was for having them....we both found out that he used to keep hots! lol Now she thinks we're BOTH crazy lol.

The guy said he used to keep a few hots until he got married. Said he'd been thinking about getting a python lately. We talked while I showed him my pics of all my babies. He told me he'd been looking for a bearded dragon as he's been wanting one but seeing my babies and talking to me really has him wanting to get back into snakes. Gave him lots info on breeders and sites online that were good placess and now I'm helping him find a beardie and snake :D

As far as the girl I work with, between he and I we educated her about snakes and even got her curious about them now. It's what usually happens. Some people just take a little longer. And a few never really come around but will eventaully stop talking noise about them and even ask you how they're doing and stuff.

I keep mine in my bedroom. "Out of site: out of mind" Plenty of people have come to my house who've professed to be afaid or just hate them. Since they don't see them, they don't remember I have them. It's been in my experience that when people come over often enough, they remember, get educated again and will eventually at least touch one of them. Not all in the same visit of course lol, but it happens.

I must say, it makes me smile and feels like a huge accomplishment everytime I've gotten someone who's phobic of them touch and hold them. Even better when they ask you if they can hold them or even ask you to help them get one of their own! My manager, who used to be scared of them, now has one of his own! :D

I can say truthfully that anyone who's been to my house has eventually touched them at least. (I always offer for them to touch the tail end....NEVER the face. Most people will automatically go for the face if you don't and that can spook the snake, especially if it's headshy, possibly turning first time experience into a bad one!) For some reason most people think they're slimey and once they touch and see they're not and that the snake didn't even attempt to act aggressive over a simple touch, they start coming around. Some still don't care for them, but they're not scared of mine anymore so I don't hear any disparaging remarks about them.

If it makes you feel better I use my rather small collection of snakes to keep certain people away from my house... The people that dont like them know they are in one room of my house and never see tehm, the people that I dont want at my house assume they are everywhere.... kinda nice, dont have to tell them to bugger off just, say ohh well you are afraid of snakes....lol

I know it seems offensive but it is really not a hobby for everyone, I love what I do, and cant immagine life with out it... Just wait till your cousin posts pics of his dog or cat or fish or whatever they have as pets and freak out, be like ohhh thats disgusting, I cant immagine you letting that dog lick you after licking its butt ....