Convincing my dad...?

So...has anyone else had problems with a parent not letting you get a BP? How did you deal with it?

I was watching Dad mess with sorting out our fireworks when he said, mom told me to talk to you about snakes.
And he went on how we didn't need another pet and he didnt' want dead mice in the house and how no one but me would want to take care of it if I"m gone somewhere.
That didn't deter me from wanting and still planning on getting one the time the January Reptile Expo comes around.
I take care of my own pets, I've owned 8 and 1/2(me and my sis share a lizard, it mainly hers though) and they've all been healthy and lived to a proper age and the ones who have died have died of natural causes due to old age. I still have 3 1/2, my rat and my lizards.
The part of what Dad has said that confuses me most was him not wanting dead mice in the house when I was able to keep Crickets and breed my own superworms. These mice are dead. No noise, not as much smell as live ones(I hear the frozen ones have a little smell, but as long as you don't explode them, it's fine. XD), no need to make room for one more cage, ect. And I don't think he's fond of it living long. He thinks that 8 years is long for a reptile, my gecko lives for 15-20 years and the snake 30+years. I want a long lived companion, that's all, and I love snakes.
He doesn't do anything with my pets either. Only once when we went on vacation he had to take care of my dragons and my rat for 5 days. He also had the help of my younger sister. We found somewhere to board the dragons next time we go somewhere and depending on how long we are gone,(no more than a week I'd think) the snake would need no care from them except maybe to change the water.

Honestly, if your parent doesn't want a snake in the house, my advice is to wait until you have your own place and get your own pets then.

You can list out all the reasons that having a snake is a good idea(no noise, etc) and ideas around having dead rodents in the family freezer(get a small chest freezer in the garage perhaps for things like rodents and bait if your dad likes to fish... etc). But at the end of the day, it's your parent's word that will say yes or no.

The hardest thing for me to comprehend is that Dad wants no more pets(mom doesn't really care. Awhile ago she would have said no on snakes, but after all the pets we've had, she doesn't care) he wants no more pets when he has nothing to do with them.
I think a pet that makes no noise, no stink, needs fed one a week, ect sounds amazing.
And I was thinking I'd just keep the mice downstairs in the freezer that we hardly use. Not the one upstairs with all our icecream and veggies and stuff.
It'll probably be 5-7 years +/- until I move out, so I'd have a long time to wait...
Thanks for the reply, though

Maybe you should sit down and have a talk with dad and tell him all of these pros, and the lack of cons, but sit him down, not while he is doing something. tell him everything you have learned, how excited you are, and try to make a case.

Before you start, tell him to just hear you out for a second, and listen ... and then explain everything you have said here, plus more. Be prepared.

He may see why it's a great pet, and he may not. All you can do is try the mature approach. He may be impressed.

If he still says no, at least you know you tried. I also wouldn't mention frozen rodents having a smell, just keep them vacuum sealed or in a quality ziploc, and then inside another container. No smell at that point, plus frozen things don't really smell much.

Thanks for the super helpful reply!
I won't mention the frozen rodents having any smell. XD
The hardest part is building confidence. I'm not very confident in asking about things around my dad.
...........I have seven days to prepare. XD He's on vacation right now.
I also have 5 months until his answer becomes important.
And I don't know if I'll still have my rat. That's pretty important.
Thanks for the answers, the more the merrier, but I'll try to get down a list of pros and cons with the snakes and later see what dad thinks.

Agree with Jessica 100%! It's not uncommon for parents to be against snakes, and it's not easy to get around. The main thing is you need to put your case forward properly, without ANY cheek or sass! I say this because its easy to get frustrated and then the cause is lost. Sit down and talk to him, explain why you want one, show him all the research you've done, maybe print it out. Also, explain why you think you're capable of caring for one.

I would also suggest taking him to the pet store, breeder or even better a reptile show so that he can get a feel for what your asking for. There are also videos on youtube that are made to help convince parents, just search for them!

The main thing to remember is that if your dad is firm about not allowing a snake, then please do not make the mistake of getting one anyway and trying to hide it, or just forcing it into the house. I'm not saying you'd do this, but people have done it, and always ends badly!

Give it a shot, and let us know how it goes, good luck!!

Good luck!

I went through something similar.

I only had my mom growing up & when I was 16 I got a job & one of the first things I wanted since I was young was a snake. I begged/pleaded with her but she was deathly afraid of snakes. I promised she would never be forced to be around it & I would make sure it was only out in my room. She said NO! So I stopped pushing the fact.

I started going to the libary & local pet store and gathered information on the snake I wanted. I came to her after a few months & showed her all the info I had regarding it & she still said no! After that I gave up on it. A few months later for my Bday I got a nice surprise & baby burmese with everything that was needed to care for it.

Not saying it will work that way for you but it's worth a try to show them that you are willing to devote all the time to gather the info it may push them to say yes. One word of advice is not to push too hard, if they say no it's not the end of the world, one day you will be on your own then you don't have to ask them for permission to get one. It will all come in due time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TimNA

I went through something similar.

I only had my mom growing up & when I was 16 I got a job & one of the first things I wanted since I was young was a snake. I begged/pleaded with her but she was deathly afraid of snakes. I promised she would never be forced to be around it & I would make sure it was only out in my room. She said NO! So I stopped pushing the fact.

I started going to the libary & local pet store and gathered information on the snake I wanted. I came to her after a few months & showed her all the info I had regarding it & she still said no! After that I gave up on it. A few months later for my Bday I got a nice surprise & baby burmese with everything that was needed to care for it.

Not saying it will work that way for you but it's worth a try to show them that you are willing to devote all the time to gather the info it may push them to say yes. One word of advice is not to push too hard, if they say no it's not the end of the world, one day you will be on your own then you don't have to ask them for permission to get one. It will all come in due time.

---

off topic, but, do you still have your burm that you'd gotten for your bday?

I was in the same boat you are in now. My entire family hates snakes, and yes we got waaay to many animals, 9 cats is enough but thats just the begenning of pets. I wanted a snake badly enough that i snuck it in the house, set it up, fed it, all the works. Then my parrents found out and yes my dad freaked cause hes a lil puss whos deathly affraid of a snake thatsin MY room that I have to deal with not him. Anyways he kept telling me and hinting i should get rid of it, but i never did and my mom was like oh well lifes to short to blow up and argue about something little. So here i am a year later with my Ball python, actually.. 2 ball pythons. :p

These are all amazing answers! there is a reptile show in august that I could always get the family to go to again. I have already written a research paper on them. I could have him read that, make a simpler list of the pros and cons, take him to an expo or take him to the petstore where I could hold one and have him touch it so he can see how nice they are.

His only two reasons were that he didn't want dead mice and we had too many pets.
Not too terribly awful. He doesn't hate snakes and I often catch them and keep them for a day to watch them and then let them go.
You're all awesome when it comes to advice!:snake::snake:

I had the same problem with my dad!!! He just went on and on about how we already have tried every pet out there, and how he didn't think I was responsible enough. My mom didn't even care. So I put everything I've been telling him into a letter, put it on his desk before school one morning, then 5 days later, I had a snake. Good luck! :snake:

I should do that.... I feel better communicating through written/typed words...
He'd have 5 months to think about it.
I must say, this forum has very friendly people. All so helpful and nice!
I don't think he thinks I'm not responsible enough, just that we don't have room.
I think writing a letter is a good idea. So I'll also have to explain how they don't take up much room, especially since I've chosen to keep the bp in a plastic tub until it's fullgrown. Then I'll probably put it in a 40 gal glass cage.

Are there any reptile shows in your area? Tell your dad you want to spend some time with him, and you want him to go with you to this herp show. DO NOT ask him to buy you ANYTHING at the show! In fact, you pay for your ticket and his - he gets to go on your dime! Then, just walk around looking and talking. Just seeing what's out there and learning, and spending the time together. See where it goes - he may be a little more receptive after going to a show. Good luck!

tell your dad the goof thing with bp is that if you did go somewhere the not having someone to take care of it would be out of the question because they are very low mantinence you can be gone 2 weeks and they would be fine. i would still want to feed it every week but if you needed to be somewhere fill up the water dish feed them befor you go and your parents dont have to worrie about it. ball pythons are the sweetest pets. you honestly can trust them more than any other snake out there. they love attention and your dad would sucker into the snake idea if he held one.

Snakes are so easy to care for, but unfortunately, they're not the type of pet that some people want in their house. It sounds like you know the responsibilities of owning a snake, but you just have to convince your dad. And from what you said, it doesn't sound like he is afraid of snakes so that's a good thing. Maybe he's afraid HE would be the one taking care of it? Even though you know that's not true, I can understand where he is coming from (being a parent myself). Try explaining to him that YOU will take full responsibility for this animal's well being and that he would never have to do anything. As far as having mice in the freezer, you could do what someone else suggested about buying a freezer for snake food and fishing bait. Or if your parents are cool about it, do what I do, which is designate one place in the freezer for snake food. The mice are in individual ziploc bags and then in a brown paper bag with "Snake Food" written on it. I only keep about 1-2 months supply in the freezer at a time and they do not smell. The letter is also a great idea. Write down your reasons for wanting a pet snake. Explain how YOU will care for it and that you are prepared to have it for 30+ years. I always wanted a pet snake growing up, but my parents said no. I am now 35 years old (with 5 kids of my own) and my parents STILL think I shouldn't have pet snakes, so some people won't give in. But, I think if you try hard enough, you can get your dad to listen. Good luck and let us know what happens!

I think he knows he won't be taking care of it at all. I'll still explain that, and add in the note about them being fine with no care for up to two weeks.
There are a lot of great things in this thread I can put in the letter!
Thanks for all your help! More replies are very welcome. All this encouragment is very nice. :3

Another thing I would try is to take your dad to a local pet shop and show him a ball python. I think if he likes snakes he will really like holding a ball python in the flesh. They really are beautiful snakes, and I now my family has warmed up to them since actually having the chance to hold mine.

Like you, my mom hates the idea of feeding rats (ball pythons actually eat rats, not mice) but I just keep them in a cardboard box that is labeled. I used the argument that frozen chicken breasts are not really all that much different, and that seemed to work. She still kind of gets freaked out by the rats but actually watched my snakes eat for the first time a month or so back. She actually thought it was amazing :). Nonetheless, I would respect your parents wishes if you can't convince them to change thier minds. If your dad still thinks you have too many pets, you could always offer to feed your pet rat to your snake to cut down on the pet population (haha, sorry couldnt resist :)).

Good luck

XD Everyone jokes about me feeding Suki to the snake if I got one. XD
I don't even know if she'll still be alive when I get a snake. Rats don't always live that long after their cagemate passes away.
I should take him to the petstore at some point(after he reads my letter) and I can hold him and have him hold it.
Again, it's just the fact of showing dad that 1) Frozen rats are less smelly than live rats, and 2) That a snake won't take up too much room.

After just recently getting my first snake after years of trying, I found that there are two ways of getting your parents to let you get a snake they don't want you to get.

Way one is to get them interested in snakes. Just drop little hints constantly, tell facts, show videos without even mentioning getting one. Do this for a while and try to get him involved and interested in snakes.

Way to is to completely remove them from the snake. And i don't mean to go over their heads and just buy one, but i mean to make them never even have to see the snake. Buy EVERYTHING yourself with your own money, keep EVERYTHING in your own room/space, Do ALL the care taking and maintenance.

hope this helps and good luck.

Thanks for the reply. I don't think way one would work since everyone already knows that I want a snake.

Way two is a little better. It's already going to stay in my room and I do all the care for it.

*sigh* Was talking to mom earlier and she said how she doesn't mind the snake itself, but doesn't want frozen rats.(Why that's the only thing the parents really care about I don't know, they don't stink, don't make noise, ect..) Well, it's unlikely I'll be getting one anytime soon.
My mood is being dampened by this/:(

The main issue may be that they don't want frozen rodents in their freezer. I get this all the time. I get made fun of by my coworkers saying "oh the hamburgers? Right behind the frozen rats" lol. Maybe suggest getting a mini freezer to keep in your room maybe? Especially if that's the only issue, you can usually find a cheap mini freezer on craigslist or Walmart. Just a suggestion :)

That's what my sister suggested .It's a good idea in my opinion, but I don't know what the parents will think of it....
I just don't really understand why the answer is no. They can't seem to give me a very good reason that I can find believable.

Well not wanting frozen rodents in with their hamburgers and ice cream is definitely a believable reason IMO. My parents would have never allowed it. If you can afford a small mini freezer I'd bring it up as an option.

Yeah, a small mini freezer for my room does sound best.

Well, I suggested that we could keep the froxen rodents in an opaque rubbermaid bin that says 'SNAKE FOOD' on it, and mom didn't seem that opposed to that...
She said she'll have to talk to dad about the snake.
For some reason when I talk to him about stuff like that, we both tend to get a little frustrated with each other. Dunno why, but we have clashing personalities.(Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. We can agree on some things, and we do together most of the time is go to storage units, so it's not like I avoid him. We just don't awlays agree on everything)
So the chance for a snake is still in the grey... I showed mom a ball python and some corn snakes at petco.(If I go again today for the leopard gecko thing, I'm looking at the ball python more,)I didn't hold it though. But I showed her through the glass why I want a BP more than a cornsnake. I had originally wanted a corn snake, but not anymore. What I like about the BPs more is that they're bigger than the cornsnakes width-wise. The corns were maybe as thick(or a little thicker) as a pencil. The BP... He was big! Not a hatchling. Looked nice too, for a petco pet. Normally all the pets but the bearded dragons look nice there.

parents are tough; both of mine were/are completely against having a reptile (or any non-fish pets for that matter) in the house. Even though I've wanted one for my whole life, I waited until I was living in an apartment in college to get one. As much as they don't like snakes, they aren't the kind of people to make me just throw away a living creature if it has a perfectly good, loving home.

Since I had been taking care of it for 6 months before they even knew it had existed, they knew it wasn't going to be a problem when I was home for breaks. I used the time before summer break to get them used to her whenever they came and visited me at school. I also always buy my rats the day of feeding them so I dont have to put them in the freezer whenever I'm at my parents.

The following year, I got a dog and another snake without their knowledge, so I guess that just makes me a bad kid lol.

XD I hear a lot of people do that.
I don't think I could get away with it.
IDK if dad would throw the snake out or not, but I'd protect it with my life. No one would take my babies away from me.
Mom's afraid that I'll get bored of the snake eventually and want another reptile.
I don't get 'bored' of any of my pets... They aren't all the most exciting, but I don't get bored of them in the way that I never take care of them.
Only saying that because my crested gecko. He's an amazing starter gecko, but sometimes you neede something more than a gecko that doesn't like being held. ;)
So I have a bearded dragon and a rat now. My bearded dragon sleeps on my bed on this large stuffed animal at the head of my bed(to make sure I don't touch him when I sleep) He's so spoiled.

Back on topic, lk_holla, do you feed live rats? Or do you feed frozen/thawed, just buy and thaw them on that day?
Mom says she rather buy bulk of them so we don't have to go out and buy them.

I gave quite the opposite problem my mother doesn't like them. Theydont care about frozen mice/rats as I already have fish that require frozen raw stuff that can smell if not frozen. I was bummed at first but then I moved on..I am currently saving now for when I move out so I can buy some full grown adults to start breeding instead of having to wait 2 years to start. Plus my mom doesn't care what other animals I have so I am getting a few more leopard geckos to breed with the knew I have now. Its hard for me to wait a year to 5 years down the road....but there isn't any way around It. They don't want then you have to wait.

1.0 High Yellow Jungle "Bruce"
0.1 Mack Snow Tremper Albino "Ava"
0.1 Rainwater Patternless "Pita"
1.0 Albino Checkered Garter "Herbert II"
0.0.1 Common Garter "Lucile"
0.0.1 Eastern Milksnake "Tiffany"

Yea my mom was the same way so I just told her buy the mice on the day of the feeding so she dosint have to worry about being in her house for long tiime of period so she said fine also a little freezer in your room would be great there selling them for 57$ at my local wal- mart but good luck

I had a friend whose dad said he couldn't get anymore pets so he would sneak them in and his father would never notice a difference. He even opposed fish!? He eventually stopped caring about how many animals my friend had. He was even caught secretly talking and even enjoying the animals!

Oh and if frozen rats are the problems maybe you can have a friend or family member that doesn't live with you keep them in their freezer. I don't have enough freezer room in my home so my grandparents let me keep my rats at their house in a paper bag.

I wrote up a letter to try to convince dad. IDK if he's seen it yet or not. *shrug* But I'm just awaiting an answer. If he even wants, we could drive down to Portland to a reptile store so he could see an adult male python. They breed them and last time had a few adults for sale, so maybe even if they don't' have one for sale, they might have one in the back I could look at. :3 That's just incase he wants to see a fullgrown one for himself.