I'm pretty bummed.

My mother promised me that I could have a ball python after she and I attended the W.A.R.E. show a few months back. For a while, I did not believe her as I am rather prone to pessimism, but since everyone including her are constantly telling me to be more optimistic, I decided to allow myself to feel excited (something which I avoid doing whenever possible as past experience dictates that I should never become excited about anything as i usually regret it).

So...I prepared, made plans. Named the snake. Allowed myself to become attached. This is not something that I normally do. And all the while she continues to assure me that no, she is not going to suddenly take back everything that she says (during periods of time in which I have feelings of "this is too good to be true"). And then the facade is finally dropped. I ask her when she thinks we will be ready to call the breeder that is holding my snake. Suggest that we go out and by everything that will be needed for his husbandry the next day as I have finally saved up enough money. And she promptly tells me that she doesnt want me to buy a snake. Which...really sucks. Especially when I have been promised (and denied) numerous pets in my lifetime due to one thing or another (namely severe allergies to anything with fur or feathers) and finally found something that I like very much and which does not send me to the hospital with my throat closing up. No explanation. No nothing. I feel stupid for actually letting myself fall for it...again.

I usually don't talk about things like this, as it seems pointless. And I am sure that my whining comes off as rather selfish since I live under her roof and she takes care of me and everything. I'm just kind of depressed that another plan fell through. Which is dumb. I shouldn't care. Anywhoo, </end angst-ridden rant>

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Originally Posted by Igby

My mother promised me that I could have a ball python after she and I attended the W.A.R.E. show a few months back. For a while, I did not believe her as I am rather prone to pessimism, but since everyone including her are constantly telling me to be more optimistic, I decided to allow myself to feel excited (something which I avoid doing whenever possible as past experience dictates that I should never become excited about anything as i usually regret it).

So...I prepared, made plans. Named the snake. Allowed myself to become attached. This is not something that I normally do. And all the while she continues to assure me that no, she is not going to suddenly take back everything that she says (during periods of time in which I have feelings of "this is too good to be true"). And then the facade is finally dropped. I ask her when she thinks we will be ready to call the breeder that is holding my snake. Suggest that we go out and by everything that will be needed for his husbandry the next day as I have finally saved up enough money. And she promptly tells me that she doesnt want me to buy a snake. Which...really sucks. Especially when I have been promised (and denied) numerous pets in my lifetime due to one thing or another (namely severe allergies to anything with fur or feathers) and finally found something that I like very much and which does not send me to the hospital with my throat closing up. No explanation. No nothing. I feel stupid for actually letting myself fall for it...again.

I usually don't talk about things like this, as it seems pointless. And I am sure that my whining comes off as rather selfish since I live under her roof and she takes care of me and everything. I'm just kind of depressed that another plan fell through. Which is dumb. I shouldn't care. Anywhoo, </end angst-ridden rant>

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Does Mom make it a habit to promise and then renege? If so, she has an emotional problem and could use some therapy. Of course there's no way you could suggest that to her, so you may need to just accept the fact that you will have to wait until you are an adult and out of her house before you are able to do what you want to do.

I know how you feel. I grew up with my grandparents and they were the same way most of the time. It really screws with your head a lot. My wife grew up with lots of love but poor, like she would come home from school and there was either no water or power almost every month.
Well when I got my first credit card, needless to say, we wnt to town on all of our wants and desires. We were both 17 at the time and now going on 35 and still working to get out of debt, so take a higher road than we did and dont go on a spending spree like we did.LOL
Now on a real note, how old are you?
If you really want to have snakes or anything that your mom doesnt approve of, make an envelope for it ;) Write what you want on the front of the envelope then save your money in it till you have enough saved up then seal it. This way when you are ready to move out on your own you will know what is in it and what its for. If you really still want the item then you will have the funding to do it and if your plans have changed you will have cash for that.;);)
Good luck with your plans and remember, It all works out in time if you take control over your time.

Being a father of 4 ranging from 15 to 24, I have never followed through on a promise to my kids. As far as pets go, I can't wait for any of my kids to ask for one. I'm ready with cash in hand wanting them come to me asking for any kind of pet.

I'm just a great Dad. :gj:
Jim Smith

After looking at your profile, I see that you are a college student. Is it that your mother won't pay for the snake, or that fact that she doesn't want a snake in her house? If she won't buy it, eat a bunch of PB&J sandwiches and save your money. If she won't allow a snake into her house, then you're out of luck.

Jim Smith

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Originally Posted by j_h_smith

Being a father of 4 ranging from 15 to 24, I have never followed through on a promise to my kids. ...

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Is this really what you meant to say, Jim? :P

To Igby...if you grew up with a mom promising things only to turn around in the end and deny them, then I can completely understand why you'd grow into a pessimistic adult. Hopefully once you're out on your own and have more control over your own life and choices, you'll find some new sparks of optimism.

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Originally Posted by JLC

Is this really what you meant to say, Jim? :P

To Igby...if you grew up with a mom promising things only to turn around in the end and deny them, then I can completely understand why you'd grow into a pessimistic adult. Hopefully once you're out on your own and have more control over your own life and choices, you'll find some new sparks of optimism.

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Yes, it was, except I forgot to include the winky emoticon.

But to clarify, I've always tried to keep my promises to my kids, pet oriented or not. I think children learn alot from how their parents treat them. Even at an early age. My 24 year old has come back and discussed things that happened to him when he was as young as 5 years old.

I think the fact that the OP is a college student speaks volumes of their relationship. I don't know where to go with this, but if a college student wants a snake, it's up to them to buy the snake and everything need to keep that snake. BUT if the parent doesn't want the snake in their house due to fear, you have to respect that and wait until you are out on your own.

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Originally Posted by j_h_smith

Yes, it was, except I forgot to include the winky emoticon.

But to clarify, I've always tried to keep my promises to my kids, pet oriented or not. I think children learn alot from how their parents treat them. ...

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I figured that's what you meant. Knowing what little I know of you, I couldn't picture it any other way.

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I think the fact that the OP is a college student speaks volumes of their relationship. I don't know where to go with this, but if a college student wants a snake, it's up to them to buy the snake and everything need to keep that snake. BUT if the parent doesn't want the snake in their house due to fear, you have to respect that and wait until you are out on your own.

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Agreed 100%.

Igby, I went through my entire 4 years of undergrad without reptiles.

My sole pet was a single comet goldfish that cost ~ $0.10

The main reason was that, with the exception of small aquatics, pets were not allowed in dorms.

I waited my four years, and once I was graduated and living in an apartment I could call my own, I began looking around for a more substantial pet.

I understand that finances play a huge role in where a person lives, but my suggestion is to strive to be able to support yourself. I know nothing about your living situation or your mom, but I think it's reasonable for her to set rules within her household.

Making and breaking promises is wrong, but the only thing you can do is try to get out of a situation where you are bound to others' rules.

Good luck with school and everything!

Can be depressing to have your hopes up and then the bottom fall out. But keep your head up. A few years or less from now you'll be out on your own starting your collection. Set some money asside when you can in a savings acct, envelope, safe etc etc.

All good things come to those that wait. :)

To the OP, I feel your pain.

Couldn't have snakes in highschool...Then I moved out on my own when I went to college. Couldn't have snakes in the dorms. Only a 10 gallon tank with fish....Not for me. Then I met my ex girlfriend. We dated for 2 years....STILL couldn't have a snake...Want to talk about frustration?

Well fast forward a bit, broke up with my ex, moved again, and have my own apartment. I had enough cash and space for THREE snakes. :banana:

Just be patient. Your time will come, and you'll be glad you waited. Until then, don't give up hope, and please stay postive, we need more positive people in the world, not less. :D

So sorry to hear this. If she changes her mind back again, I still have him and will bring him to the next WARE show for you!

I have gone through the same things that you have stated here. Its hard no doubt, but just cause things are hard you cant give up. If you really love snakes like you have stated, then don't give up!

The first reptile i ever owned was a leopard gecko (Roy) we saw one in a pet shop one day and i knew i wanted one my mom said "do your chores your homework and bring your grades up without being told for a whole month you can get one"(i was like 13 :P)
That whole month i did all that went from B's to Straight A's month went by i brought it up again and her exact words were "hehe No but see what you can do when you apply yourself?"i was like WTF!*sad face*
But I'm sneaky ;) another month went by and i asked about it again she said something along the lines of "behave and you can get one for Christmas" it was early dec so when i went Christmas shopping with my grandmother on the 23rd i bought one lol with all the accessories went straight home brought it in my room and hid him
Christmas morning i put a bow around his little carrier and waited :D we started opening gifts i said oh mom i almost forgot your present!!! i went into my room grabbed him brought him to the living room and handed her Roy ;) she was a little pissed off at first but it worked lol i got to keep him ;) so technically it was hers but I'm the one who cared for him :D
not long after that we got Geezer my Beardie :P

So sorry to hear this is how it happened. As much as you want one, she could have just said no to begin with if she planned on not letting you have it. While that would suck, too, if you live in her home you should respect her rules. It would just suck less, lol. I think whoever it was that had the idea to start the envelope with funding for it had a great idea!

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Originally Posted by j_h_smith

After looking at your profile, I see that you are a college student. Is it that your mother won't pay for the snake, or that fact that she doesn't want a snake in her house? If she won't buy it, eat a bunch of PB&J sandwiches and save your money. If she won't allow a snake into her house, then you're out of luck.

Jim Smith

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i was paying for it. and she says that she wouldnt mind one in the house. just doesnt want me to buy one...

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Originally Posted by rabernet

So sorry to hear this. If she changes her mind back again, I still have him and will bring him to the next WARE show for you!

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Thanks! I am really sorry about this. I am sure you could have easily sold him to someone else in all this time that I have had you waiting. =[

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Originally Posted by Igby

i was paying for it. and she says that she wouldnt mind one in the house. just doesnt want me to buy one...

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Well - that's easily remedied! ;)

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Originally Posted by Igby

Thanks! I am really sorry about this. I am sure you could have easily sold him to someone else in all this time that I have had you waiting. =[

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If she changes her mind between now and April, it would be my pleaure to gift him to you. :D

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Originally Posted by rabernet

If she changes her mind between now and April, it would be my pleaure to gift him to you. :D

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Now thats cool:gj::gj::gj:
Much respect:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bo w::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bo w::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow:

my mother in law is like that too but with her its always
"i'm gonna visit you guys next summer!" then it turns into no phone calls, no show up, no nothing...i mean, i know with her living in germany, traveling here would be expensive but really, she needs to stop telling us she's gonna visit and then not. she gets my bf all excited and happy cuz he hasnt seen his mom since he was 16 1/2 and then he gets depressed and pissed at himself when she flakes on us.
but...according to him and his dad and stepmom this is very typical of his mom, promising things and not following through.
the next time she says anything about visiting i'm gonna finally tell her to just stop it unless she plans on actually following through cuz i'm tired of this flakiness. it's one of my biggest pet peeves with people in general actually.
as far as me with my kids, i simply do not, no scratch that, WILL NOT promise something if i even THINK i might not be able to follow through. as a result my kids get alot of the "we'll see..." from me and they know it doesnt mean no but it doesnt mean yes. it's simply...unknown until further notice.

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Originally Posted by rabernet

If she changes her mind between now and April, it would be my pleaure to gift him to you. :D

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That is extremely generous of you!

Igby glad to see you joined the forum. Sorry about your mom though. I know with as much time as you spent with the animal at the show you are a genuine reptile lover. I hope mom comes around for you. And Robin generous to a fault as always.

Ugh I know how you feel. I wanted one all my life. I really started wanting one around ehh. middle school days, when my cousin got a ball python hatchling for his birthday, I was SET on getting one. My mom promised me about getting good grades that I could get one, one time... Well I got the grades and when it was all said and done and I brought it up she denied that she ever said that... :please:

It really is annoying. BUT!!! Thankfully one day... good ole dad. He didnt see why not so I went out and got one finally! A LOT later then expected... Honestly, my mom doesnt even know I have a snake really, (she knows about it yes...) they NEVER see it since shes always in her hide, my dad asked if I still had it the other day lol... as far as everyone else knows it doesnt even exist.

Im still waiting to get my own apartment some day, hopefully next year since its better then being in a dorm CELL on campus, and paying more than it costs for an apartment...


(this mom also being the same mom that let my brother get an iguana when both of them knew nothing about them, now my brother doesnt do anything for the iguana and my mom does ALL of the work. and theyre a lot of work...) Here I am chillen with my BP loving how easy they are to care for hahahaha

what your mom did was not right at all you never break a promise how can you trust someone like that?