I'm losing the fight with my roommates

I'm moving in with three friends soon who are all irrationally afraid of my ball. I've gone over all the details with them: I will not scare them with the snake, he is not dangerous, and he will be in a locked enclosure etc.

One is okay with it, sort of, the other "can't stand the idea of rats in the freezer with my food". The snake is really starting to cause a rift between us, because I'm starting to get a little snippy and calling them ignorant.

I'm getting really frustrated trying to reason with these girls, and am considering finding my beautiful snake a new home.

Advice please?

I'd try some more convincing before giving up. The rats in the freezer thing, your on your own..lol...If your gonna be getting your own room, I dont see why it's a problem. If they dont like em, dont come in the room, simple as that. I could understand them being afraid of a 10' burmese in the house, but a bp?..LOL...Show them some "beginner storys" of some ne bp owners and hopefully that'll put their fears to rest.

My gfs mom was terrified that my bp would get out and eat her dog..lol..I told her it cant even take a large rat yet, your dog is like 5 time bigger (stupid taco bell dog)..lol..She was fine with it, for a little while...then she just got scared one day aftercoming into out room and seeing him outside of his hide..lol...

Good luck, I know how you feel trying to convince people bps arent gonna escape and kill the whole family...

Tell them you are working on finding him a new home, and just don't. Maybe they will get used to it after awhile. I don't know what to tell you about the rats. Maybe put them in a brown bag with your name on it. And, if they try and take your food, it's their problem. Lol.

Just take it slow trying to find him a new home. Tell them male normals are hard to get rid of....blah blah. Good luck!

Get a mini fridge for the rats? Or just buy a f/t once a week for him, or feed a larger prey so you only need to feed him every 2-3 weeks (don't have to go to the pet store as often). That's all I can suggest for the rat thing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PixieMaple

I'm moving in with three friends soon who are all irrationally afraid of my ball. I've gone over all the details with them: I will not scare them with the snake, he is not dangerous, and he will be in a locked enclosure etc.

One is okay with it, sort of, the other "can't stand the idea of rats in the freezer with my food". The snake is really starting to cause a rift between us, because I'm starting to get a little snippy and calling them ignorant.

I'm getting really frustrated trying to reason with these girls, and am considering finding my beautiful snake a new home.

Advice please?

---

I know how girls are around snakes. If its becoming that much of a deal, you may want to consider rehoming. You could stop feeding F/T and go to live asfs so all the rats are in your room. The Asfs have hardly any smell, inless you dont clean their cage for months. I still think the thought of frozen rats in the freezer is gross, so I cant imagine what they are thinking. I would buy a mini freezer and store it in your room so you can put the rats in that personal freezer so no one is grossed out.

Good luck dude I hope you dont have to resort to rehoming your ball python...

-Payson!

You know how girls are around snakes? lol...

I suggest convincing them to confront their fear. Call them wussies if you have to, and ask them if they're going to let fear rule them, and fall prey to stereotypes. If any of them have a REAL phobia, this doesn't stand a chance of working, but if they're just afraid because they were taught to be afraid, then once they actually hold a ball python, they'll lose 50% of their worry immediately.

It's not such a terrible thing to ask, is it? That they hold the snake, once. If they still can't stand being around it after they hold it once, and you're hell-bent on living with them, then rehoming it may be the best choice.

I think that's a fair deal. You're just asking them to give it a chance, after all. You should show them pictures of all of us ball-python loving girls. ;)

Compromise is the basis of every relationship. If you screwup the relationship before it begins kiss your enjoyment good bye!

Buy a mini fridge and keep the frozen rats in your room. Don't force yourself onto them, I'd be really upset if some one put stuff like that in my freezer and I wasn't a fan of snakes.

I think you should apologize to them for overstepping and try and rectify the situation.

Try and have things be fair, vote 2/3, etc.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paysons Bps

I know how girls are around snakes.

---

Oh really,, and how is that? :rolleyes::8:

Roomates are tough. My husbands not a big fan of my snakes, but if you were to inspect my apartment you probably wouldnt even know I owned any. theyre tucked in my closet in tubs and generally only taken out when I know it wont make anyone uncomfortable.
As for the rats, yah, you could just buy them weekly at feeding time, even petco has f/t rats for sale. Or keep them in a brownbag/tupperware.

Just an afterthought too.. Are you living in an apartment? and are you sure it allows reptiles? Alot dont anymore, I had to search to find one when we moved.

I know most people wont agree with what im about to say, but maybe feeding live is the best idea in this situation. My roomates wont let me keep them in the freezer so I have to. Havent had any problems yet, but it comes with risk.

Unfortunately modern media has personified snakes as evil and sneaky... you have to show them otherwise. Good luck!

One thing that has worked for me, is to have my 5 year old hold the snakes in front of wussies. That, or my 1.5 year old boy. He likes them, too.

That usually shows people who are leary that they really are harmless and mellow, just like I told them.

Good luck. :gj:

Quote:

---

I know how girls are around snakes

---

Ahem, I am a girl too :P

tell them to stop being dramatic and suck it up. its your snake. if they have animals in the house say that your allergic to them or afraid so they cant have them... the argument can go both ways

Quote:

---

Compromise is the basis of every relationship. If you screwup the relationship before it begins kiss your enjoyment good bye!

Buy a mini fridge and keep the frozen rats in your room. Don't force yourself onto them, I'd be really upset if some one put stuff like that in my freezer and I wasn't a fan of snakes.

I think you should apologize to them for overstepping and try and rectify the situation.

Try and have things be fair, vote 2/3, etc.

---

Apologize, sure... not exactly what I'm thinking at the moment. Honestly, it's a harmless snake.
I've been trying to compromise, but they're being very "NO" to everything - and with no reasoning behind it. that's what drives me crazy

dont move in with them

honestly their being very selfish... in my opinion some friends in life come and go

It may be hard to convince them, but try to get them around your bp. My roommate was iffy about having our bp's in the house and said we had to have them in our room and she just doesn't want it to get out and eat our dog [a 45lbs. Husky]. After giving her facts [bp's only get to 6 feet as an absolute max but normally between 4-5 feet and they only eat rats and one of ours doesn't even eat live] she calmed down about them getting out and eating the dog, but she was still scared they would get out of their tanks and end up in bed with her. BUT once we got all the snakes settled after the move, we took them out and she warmed up to them. She loves our female bp now.

As for the frozen mice, you can get a small freezer and fridge and keep it just in your room and keep them there. I've seen a few at like Sam's Club for max $300 and that was for a good size one. If there's a Sam's or Costco type of thing around you might find a good deal there. Especially now while people are moving into dorms and things and need things like that. Bed Bath and Beyond might have one, ummm Home Depot or Lowe's might have some too.

Best of luck!

I'm a girl. And I used to be one of those like your roommates.

I can completely understand their position though. Snakes are like sashimi - it's an acquired taste. I can't force an American to eat sashimi just like you can't force your room-mates to just be okay with a snake. Is it irrational? Sure. But I think my husband is irrational too for not wanting to even just TRY sashimi.

You can call them wusses, ignorant, whatever. But tolerance is not something you can just learn in a day. It took my husband 10 years of begging before I would consider a pet snake. We've been married 12 years now and he still has to try sashimi.

So yeah, try the fridge in your room, putting the snake in a locked sterilite bin in your closet (not a display case), and see if that works with your room-mates. If not, then you can either find other room-mates who are more tolerant or have a friend that will take care of the snake for you temporarily (I would think after 2 years or so, you might have your own home) or re-home.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PixieMaple

Apologize, sure... not exactly what I'm thinking at the moment. Honestly, it's a harmless snake.
I've been trying to compromise, but they're being very "NO" to everything - and with no reasoning behind it. that's what drives me crazy

---

I completely understand where you are coming from with this, but please try their shoes on and see what its like from their perspective.

Phobias are not rational, and forcing it on them will only make it worse. They could report your snake to management, release it, kill it, who knows.

You said one was OK with you having the snake but both were against the freezer mice. Compromise, no mice in the main freezer, buy a mini fridge and keep it in your room. Problem solved.

If the other room mate complains later about the snake inform him that you tried to do things as democratic as possible. 2/3 said ok on the snake, so snake stays. 2/3 said no on frozen rats so that never happened.

Remember they are living there too and they have just as much right as you to be happy at home.

I've had a horrible roommate once, a few months later I got my own place, sometimes it just doesn't work.

i hear ya. my gf freaked out when she saw dead rats in my freezer. hahahha!!!

so that was the last day i actually kept rats in the freezer, what i do now is just buy it everytime i need to feed em. but that's because i have a petstore nearby.. i hope its the same case as you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paysons Bps

I know how girls are around snakes.

---

Really? How are we girls around snakes? I'm interested in hearing this!
:P

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by butters!

dont move in with them

---

x2

Part of being an adult is the freedom to make your own decisions, don't be influenced by their ignorence and don't get rid of your snake unless you want too.

I don't think my opinion will be popular, but after reading your post my initial reaction was "wow, I'm so glad I'm not this person's friend!"

Some people don't like snakes. Period. It doesn't matter if they're gentle or harmless, they just don't like them. You have resorted to name-calling in an attempt to win them over? Seriously? I can't imagine why they aren't convinced and happy to embrace you and your reptile as new roommates what with the respect you've shown them.

You want to move in with them. They do not want your snake. You have tried and failed to change their minds and it's starting to affect your friendships. So either get rid of the snake or find somewhere else to live.

i had a roommate that was afraid of the 1st bp i had when i was 19. everytime she saw me with it outside of my room she'd sqeal/half scream and run into her room. lol. she killed my fish so i didnt care that my snake scared the daylights out of her.
i'm with your roommates on the rats in the freezer thing. i find that insanely disgusting but the seperate freeezer in your room is a really good idea. hope you dont have to re-home your bp when theres options to work with the situation your in.
good luck!

I don't believe that these people have any obligation to either have you as a room mate or to live with a snake or frozen rats.
I don't think that to take the approach that they are wrong and that their feelings are not valid will get you anywhere.
It sounds to me like you need them but they don't necessarily need you to get an apartment.
I would try to convince them that the snake is harmless and be appreciative if they will allow you to bring it in to the apartment. If you convey to them the attitude that you display here, it will not be conducive to gaining their cooperation.
That's my :twocents:

Dale has it pegged. You get more flies with honey than vinegar. Starting out a room mate relationship by forcing your opinion on others doesn't make for a good start.:handshake

Having had multiple roommate problems in the past, I feel I should say something. First off, resorting to name-calling and snapping at them will only make things a LOT worse. Two of them have said ok to having the snake there, so don't push the issue of them accepting it. In a way, they already have, they're letting you keep the snake there.

As to the rats, we all have to compromise. See it they'll let you keep the rats there if you put them in a brown bag so they can't see them. If they say no, then buy a mini-freezer to keep in your room.

If you continue pushing the snake on them, it's only going to make the entire situation worse. I know wanting your friends to accept your pet is a big deal, but sometimes it just doesn't work that way. You could gradually try to get them used to the snake, but I wouldn't suggest it. Perhaps just wait to see if they will get over the fact it's a snake and become curious about it in time???

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sariel

Oh really,, and how is that? :rolleyes::8:

Roomates are tough. My husbands not a big fan of my snakes, but if you were to inspect my apartment you probably wouldnt even know I owned any. theyre tucked in my closet in tubs and generally only taken out when I know it wont make anyone uncomfortable.
As for the rats, yah, you could just buy them weekly at feeding time, even petco has f/t rats for sale. Or keep them in a brownbag/tupperware.

Just an afterthought too.. Are you living in an apartment? and are you sure it allows reptiles? Alot dont anymore, I had to search to find one when we moved.

---

I'm not saying like all girls, i'm saying like the girls that are terrified of them and scream at the sight of them. I didnt mean you any offense.

-Payson!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rabernet

Really? How are we girls around snakes? I'm interested in hearing this!
:P

---

I dont mean all girls, I meant the ones who dont care for snakes and scream at the sight of them! I didnt mean you any offens or any other female reading this thread, im not sexist lol....

-Payson

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PixieMaple

Ahem, I am a girl too :P

---

I dont mean "ALL" girls in general I meant the girls that are terrified of snakes and scream at the sight of them. I dont mean you or any other female offense. I'm not a sexist haha!

-Payson!

Payson, we get the idea, you don't have to post it three separate times. ;)

Sincerely,
Another Girl

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by coldblooded

Payson, we get the idea, you don't have to post it three separate times. ;)

Sincerely,
Another Girl

---

I just appologized to everyone individualy, so I didnt offend anyone.. =D

Out of sight out of mind.
Remind them it will be in your room. Remind them they won't see it. Buy a mini fridge like suggested or feed live. If you have to buy an enclosure with a locking lid.
Your snake will be quiet. It will stay in it's hide. If someone has a dog, and it barks you have to deal with it. If they have a cat that follows you around meowing, you have to deal with it. A snake however. They really don't have to deal with it.
Have the friend that is kinda okay come over and see your bps current living situation. See if you can't bring her over to "the snake side".
My friend Cate is afraid of snakes, but she has a as long as it doesn't get out I'm okay with it attitude. She cautiously peered into my bathroom to see the snakes when we first got them. I think it's a beautiful compromise, granted Cate has owned rats and lizards, so I guess accepting snakes isn't a big leap.
I'd check to see what the house rules will be if you live with them. If they have an open door policy on boys, or even one night stands, I don't see why they should have a problem with snakes. I'd have bigger issues with who my roommate was bringing over rather than their pets. It stinks that they are hung up on the ball python. I hope you can find a compromise.

WELL IT TOOK ME 2 MONTH TO GET MY MOM TO LET ME HAVE ONE IF THEY R REALLY YOUR FRIENDS TELL THEM U CAME VERY CHOSE TO THE SNAKE AN CANT GIVE IT AWAY IF THEY STILL SAY TELLEM YOUR NOT MOVIN IN AN YOUR GONNA FIND YOUR OWN APT THAT SHOULD WORK:gj:

I think you could compromise on the rat storing (good suggestions on that already)... but if they knew you were getting/had a snake, it's unreasonable of them to be so whiny about it. I'd consider getting new roommates before getting rid of my pet, but maybe that's just me. :cool:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lolo76

Yeah, me too. :rolleyes: I'm a girl, and it seems I'm rather comfortable around my collection of 23 snakes - LOL.

That was a gutsy comment, Payson, considering nearly half (?) of the BP.net posters are women! :colbert:

---

read all my posts on page 3.....

-Payson!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paysons Bps

read all my posts on page 3.....

-Payson!

---

I actually edited that post a minute later, when I saw you'd already apologized. ;) Funny thing is, I've met more GUYS who were terrified of my snakes! You should have seen the reaction from my roommate's ex, who literally danced like a jumping bean whenever a snake was near - and he was a big tough-looking dude, LOL.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lolo76

I actually edited that post a minute later, when I saw you'd already apologized. ;) Funny thing is, I've met more GUYS who were terrified of my snakes! You should have seen the reaction from my roommate's ex, who literally danced like a jumping bean whenever a snake was near - and he was a big tough-looking dude, LOL.

---

Haha! I thought it was pretty cool theres so many girls on this website posting about there snakes, it's pretty cool =D

Is one of the person you are moving in owning the place? Or is her name the name on the lease?

Either way YOU are moving in with other people therefore so ultimately the person owning the place/being on the lease will make the call on what she allows and what she doesn't (dogs, cats, snakes etc) - And of course if she leases the place what she allows must comply with what the lease authorizes.

If you want to move in with them they still do not agree on the snakes you need to respect their wishes, calling them names, lying will not get you anywhere. (Remember YOU will have to live with those people and living together is already hard enough that you do not want to start on the wrong foot)

The best for you would be to move with people that snake friendly or move on your own.

Not everyone like snakes, or dogs, or cats etc and no one should be forced to live with them if they do not wish to.

The good thing if you get YOUR own place you can make YOUR own rules.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lolo76

I actually edited that post a minute later, when I saw you'd already apologized. ;) Funny thing is, I've met more GUYS who were terrified of my snakes! You should have seen the reaction from my roommate's ex, who literally danced like a jumping bean whenever a snake was near - and he was a big tough-looking dude, LOL.

---

I second that haha, I've met waaayy more guys afraid of snakes than girls. My old roommate, who is a guy, nearly jumped half way across the room the first time he saw my boa, although now he's in love with her and misses all the snakies.

Thanks everyone..
I just wanted to say when I started this thread yesterday I was in a terrible mood, as you might be able to tell.. so now it seems like I'm a terrible friend and forcing my snake onto my roomies. In all honesty, I've been negotiating with them for weeks now and trying to smooth out all the details.

I became name-calling only when they refused to negotiate. That doesn't make it okay, but that's my explanation.

Also, moving in with them is inevitable at this point, the lease started in May.
It's all four of our names on the lease, so we're all pretty much equal in who-does-what

I'm not sure if I can offer any advice to help, but I do wish you luck.

Maybe remind them that your snake isn't just an object but a living being? While I understand and accept that none of my snakes "love" me, I sure adore them. I'm VERY attached...they all have names and I'm very fond of them and proud of them, like any pet owner is of his or her pets should be. Point out that demanding you get rid of your little python is like telling someone to just get rid of their cherished dog.

And as others have stated, remind them that the snake can be out of sight, out of mind. I had a BP back when I was in college...at one point I had to move back in with my parents for a time and my mother was phobic of snakes. My dad likes them and he and I insisted over and over to her that she'd probably never even see it unless she went into my room. Over time she calmed down and at one point, she actually asked me to bring it out for her to see. That day, she petted a snake for the first time in her life...and had to admit the little critter wasn't half bad. I think she almost liked him by the time I was forced to sell him (I was moving to an area where they are not allowed).

Now...my aunt on the other hand. We all agreed that nobody could ever tell her that I had a python. She'd freak out. She found out THREE YEARS after he was sold that I'd owned him and she screamed at me about how "horrible" I am and how cruel I am for owning a vicious deadly monster. She wouldn't speak to me for a week.

I now own a small collection and have intentions on aquiring more, and I intend to breed as well. Needless to say I have not told her I own snakes, and I doubt I ever will. She would take it as a personal insult, and think I am only doing it to "hurt" her or something. She literally HATES snakes, and says whenever they get mentioned that she wishes that we could just exterminate them all.

Though bear in mind this is the woman who's afraid of EARTHWORMS because they are "snakey" in appearance, doesn't like SHORTHAIRED CATS because their tails look like snakes, and has serious issues eating spaghetti because, OMG, NOODLES LIKE SNAKES. She's the kind of person who craves the bans on our animals. She is, for lack of a better term, INSANE.

I do hope your roommates come 'round like my mother did, and that they aren't cut from the same cloth as my aunt.

One thing that nobody has really touched on is that mini-fridges/freezers are insanely expensive to run. It will definitely cause a significant increase in electrical bills, and your roommates might be rightfully upset about that.

I would suggest a solid colored tupperware container in the freezer. If they don't have to look at them, they may become a little more receptive. Also for some reason the tupperware seems more secure than a paper bag.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NCtrickFL

One thing that nobody has really touched on is that mini-fridges/freezers are insanely expensive to run. It will definitely cause a significant increase in electrical bills, and your roommates might be rightfully upset about that.

I would suggest a solid colored tupperware container in the freezer. If they don't have to look at them, they may become a little more receptive. Also for some reason the tupperware seems more secure than a paper bag.

---

That and don't put "Frozen Rats" on it. Just say "Do not touch". :gj:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NCtrickFL

One thing that nobody has really touched on is that mini-fridges/freezers are insanely expensive to run. It will definitely cause a significant increase in electrical bills, and your roommates might be rightfully upset about that.

I would suggest a solid colored tupperware container in the freezer. If they don't have to look at them, they may become a little more receptive. Also for some reason the tupperware seems more secure than a paper bag.

---

I'm not so sure they are "insanely" expensive to run. Even if it costs several extra dollars per month, you can see what the difference in the electric bill is and pay that part of it yourself - your roommates need not absorb that cost. Also there's a device called a "kill-a-watt" that'll measure the power draw of a device - you could use one of those to exactly determine what you owe for your rodent supply. (You can get one online or I guess Home Depot/Menard's/Lowe's have them these days.)

@ Kyle@theHeathertoft:
Oh man... I think your aunt has a legitimate phobia, and yes, she does seem slightly crazy about it. I believe my roommates (like many people), are misinformed about snakes and reptiles in general... in fact, my one friend thought snakes were "slimy" and was surprised when she touched my snake and he was dry!

Also, about the mini fridge... yes, it will hike up the utility bill, and as a student living off loans I really cannot afford it. I came to a compromise since my one friend said NO NO NO to rats in the freezer... we live near a pet store, so I'll just get a rat from there once a week

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NCtrickFL

One thing that nobody has really touched on is that mini-fridges/freezers are insanely expensive to run. It will definitely cause a significant increase in electrical bills, and your roommates might be rightfully upset about that.

---

No one has touched on that because it isn't true. I've had a mini-fridge/freezer in my bedroom for the past 1.5 years. My electric bill hasn't changed enough for me to even notice. It also depends on the size of the fridge. Obviously, a larger mini-fridge will cost more than a smaller one to run.

Here is a pretty good article on the cost of running a regular fridge versus a mini.
http://myarticlewizard.com/mini-frid...e-mini-fridge/

I don't consider an extra $5-$10 per month to be "insanely expensive". Not to mention that whatever there is extra per month, the person with the fridge can just pay out of their own pocket.

Edit:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PixieMaple

Also, about the mini fridge... yes, it will hike up the utility bill, and as a student living off loans I really cannot afford it. I came to a compromise since my one friend said NO NO NO to rats in the freezer... we live near a pet store, so I'll just get a rat from there once a week

---

It really isn't all that much to run one. Depending on close to the pet store you are, you might end up spendin more money in gas going there once a week to get food than you will to run a fridge in a month. I know that would be the case for me.

Either way, only you know what is best for you. Good luck on this situation. :)

I have to say, I wouldn't want frozen rats in my freezer that holds food either. Good luck with your problem though.

The bottom bin of my freezer is for the rats, thank goodness I don't have roomates.
I do have family members with irrational fears of my reptiles, so the reptile room is key-locked (a spare key is in a special place, that my best friend is aware of in case of emergencies).

i kept my f/t rats and mice in my freezer but i got really annoyed when i would reach in to get me some yummy ice cream and poking my hand in the rat bag on accident... then washing my hand.. then reaching in to get the ice cream :rolleyes:...
so i also put mine in the bottom bin of the freezer in our garage :gj:.
we also have a mini-fridge in the backroom but my roomies won't let me put them there - and there's just no arguing with them... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: