"The friendliest online community?"

The banner up top says, "The friendliest online community for ALL your herping needs!" But that hasn't been my experience. Why do many of the outspoken members and moderators have to behave like they are in high school, and not be welcoming towards new people? Do I have to come across as an unknowledgeable and new keeper, in order to get friendly posts or positive interactions?

I should remember this is an online forum and jerks are everywhere, but this is the first site I've come across out of more than a dozen others, that is at such a high level of clichy-ness and is this kind of unwelcoming. I do believe I've encountered more unfriendly people here than friendly people.

You are entitled to your opinion.

You get what you put into any forum, and if you bring negative energy to the group, you are more than likely going to get it back.

And same goes for the positives.

Also, remember, this is the internet.

It's not serious business. :8:

I've put in lots of nice posts and helpful posts, its not the nature of what I've gotten in return.

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

Also, remember, this is the internet.

It's not serious business. :8:

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Not trying to get on the bad side but u COULD be a little bit more professional about the subject

I'm sorry you feel that way. I know what you mean. It can just wear on you. I find that there are some secrets to try and avoid feeling that way.

Always state your opinion from what you understand, and your experience and then it does not matter what people say after that right? Personally, I will sometimes comment when i know it is not a popular position, but I make sure I believe it, and I am willing to let others persuade me if they want. With that attitude, nothing people write bothers me.

Don't get into things with harsh feelings. Sometimes it feels nice to say something about someone else that has posted ideas which we feel are just dumb. Make sure the comment does not come across as negative or someone is going to be on the defensive. Then who knows what happens.

Remember, this is the internet, it is not life. There are definitely some weirdos around, and we really can't expect too much from a free online forum. It's sad but too true. The good thing is that we don't need an online forum deciding how we are going to feel. We get to choose that ourselves, no matter what is going on in our lives.

On a lighter note, there is a lot of good stuff here too. We just gotta help where we can and learn where we can and let the rest fade away into the background.

Cheers!

So you do not find the members or the staff to be particularly helpful?

I know that one of our staff has been very accomodating to you, and has given you advice and quite a bit of time.

As far as being a friendly community, I guess one of those perks is that you can sit here and publicly criticize the staff and the site, and still be able to log on.

Shop around a bit, you will not find that to be the case on many forums. :gj:

We strive to create a safe forum where we can hang, learn and socialize and can feel safe letting our children enjoy the same freedom.

This site serves many functions for those that come here. Some come to simply shop the classifieds, some come to show off their collections, others are purely social, and many of us find that we learn and are inspired by others and their love of reptiles and herps.

But yet it works for them. I suggest you perhaps find your niche.

We say it over and over again to people, but we cannot make people get along, but the admins provide the space, we all do the work, and you make it whatever you want.

I am here because I love snakes.

Why are you here?

Perhaps if you can localize your expectations, you can then decide if this site, its members, and its administration can live up to those expectations.

I hope it does.

Bruce

I guess you have to ask yourself "What do I expect from this community?"

I looked back through a few of your recent posts and I didn't see anything where anyone was even remotely rude or unfriendly towards you. I am curious what sparked this post. But! You have to consider that this is a pretty large forum and in so, you are going to have a broad spectrum of people. Text can be misconstrued easily since you have no vocal tone to go off of - are you taking things the wrong way? Are you being overly sensitive? As Lady Ohh put it, this is the internet and it is NOT serious business.

I haven't been here too long but from my general usage of the site, everyone here seems pretty friendly. I haven't felt excluded or singled out. I have seen a few people post that seem to have a certain "attitude" about them (but they aren't doing anything wrong and you will also find these people on every forum you visit.) Are people not responding to your posts? I have made posts in less visited areas of the forum and not gotten responses, but you can't let that get to you if that is what it is.

The only place I've really seen people get really wound up is in Quarantine (or threads that subsequently get moved to Quarantine). But that is what that place is for. :)

So, in this sprawling post, I ask you again.

What do you expect from this community?

Internet forums are much like High School. There are the cool kids, the ones who think they're the cool kids, the geeks, the bullies, the wallflower ect...
If you don't like/get along with certain members then just ignore them. If the staff is what's bothering you then feel free to let a staff member know. You really will get back what you give, so keep that in mind.
The Friendliest Online Community is just that. We try our hardest to keep the site as kid/family friendly as possible. It doesn't mean that when you sign up each member gets sprinkled with magical pixie dust that makes them all get along. If that's what you expect from an internet forum this large you will unfortunately be disappointed. I hope that you will find a comfortable spot here that you enjoy.

trust me, i have some free time, this is one of the bst forums, well i hang on repticzone and beardeddragons.org, and a RARE visit to russiantortoise, but if its snakes related i stay hear, also i meet some cool, peeps i get to chill at expos, your right, i play it how i played it in HS, im just me, trying to help, but usally the one getting help, lol bottem line

its allllll good

As someone rather new myself I think everyone has been very friendly to me. I've gotten tons of help and made new friends.

:tears: I am so sorry that you feel that way. All I can say is that I hope that I did not offend you at anytime....as sometimes I myself can be quite outspoken. I have not taken the time to go back through your posts to see what has happened. What I CAN tell you is that I have been to many forums especially when I first started. I felt chastised (probably spelled wrong :rolleyes:) and was treated very rude when asking questions as a newbie. I stumbled across this site and I have had a great experience. I do think overall everyone has very good intentions here. We are all going for a common goal of taking care of our slithery friends the best we can. Though we all might not agree....I have found that you can agree to disagree and move forward with no hard feelings. It has been my experience if someone rubs you the wrong way.....just bring it to their attention the way you would want them to bring it to your attention.....with respect and dignity. And in the future if you do decide to stay on with our forum...please feel free to ask me anything at anytime....I would be more than happy to help you or at least point you in the right direction.

Again I am sorry that you feel that way and I hope that you stay on ....everyone makes ammends .....and you have fun on this site as I do.

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Originally Posted by f4n70m

Not trying to get on the bad side but u COULD be a little bit more professional about the subject

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What do you feel I was not professional about?

Are you not familiar with the "Internet, Serious Business" Song?

It's called trying to lighten the mood. :P

As for the OP and what she has to say, other people put it better.

I just summed it up.

Again, its how you take things.

Seems like some people want to find offense in things that are not intended to be.

The key to the internet is to not take things personal.

Again, I will reiterate my previous point.

It's the Internet. Not Serious Business.

I am a member of all kinds of forums and this is hands-down the best run, fairest, and friendliest of any I've tried, including one I was a mod on :oops:

Stick around - it's really not bad here :gj:

Seems like your expectations or perceptions might be a little unrealistic - people are people and getting along is a skill.

The wonderful world of forum drama. With running my own forum thats still new but growing fast, i deal with MANY problems in PM about certain things that dont even pertain to the forum, mainly about a single individual.

Remember most of not al forums have a block or ignore setting. Dont like the person block em.

I was on this forum years ago, I didn't put much into it and didn't get much out of it. I do not belong to any other forums so I can't compare. I returned this last year and tried to help and expand my learning and to pass along what I've read and learned. I am more of a lurker than anything. I have had post or two deleted from a single moderator and a few PM's ignored from the same person. But I take it in stride, yeah there may be a few threads I think would get more or "better" responses but I don't let it upset me. I really enjoy most of the people on here and have met a few also(all great people), and I am sure I will meet a few more. I don't have a suggestion to make it better so my story ends there. I will continue to lurk and chime in when it is deemed, but lately alot less frequently.

There are many forums out there, I think I must be registered on a dozen of them and I must say this is the nicest one, I am not saying that because I am part of the staff but because this is how I have always felt it’s my home and always will be (and I would not have agreed to be part of the staff if I didn’t feel that way)

As a staff member I have seen the worse (the drama, the bickering, the crying, the accusations the insults etc….yeah being a mod is that much fun :rofl: ) but I have also saw the best that this forum has to offer, and the best example of that is when this community came together to help and support one of our staff member after a fire burn down his place.

This place might be a bad place for YOU but it doesn’t mean it really is it just does not meet YOUR expectations, people will always be people some you will like some you will like a little less, and sadly no one can make people like, get along or agree with each other all the time.

I believe there is a forum out there for each and everyone, and maybe there is one out there that might be better suited for your need if you feel this one is not.

And remember

http://i954.photobucket.com/albums/a...r/d5012149.jpg

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Originally Posted by Seru1

As someone rather new myself I think everyone has been very friendly to me. I've gotten tons of help and made new friends.

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I HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU. I NOTICE YOU MUST HAVE TOUGH SKIN TO SURVIVE LOL! BUT I GOTTEN TONS OF HELP AND MADE NEW FRIENDS. THIS FORUM REPRESENT THE WORLD WE LIVE IN. YOU HAVE GOOD PEOPLE AND crappy PEOPLE ITS UP TO YOU WHO YOU KEEP AND GREET AND LEAVE ALONE. TRUTH BE TOLD I LOVE FORUM. I THINK ITS THE BEST. DONT LET ONE OR FEW SOUR APPLE RUIN YOUR EXPERIENCE HERE. THATS FROM ONE BALL PYTHON OWNER TO ANOTHER. STAY IN FORUM,LEARN AND HAVE FUN! :gj:

Sorry about using a negative word in post. If i offended anyone i apologize. Once again im sorry and did not mean to offend anyone. For my younger reptile people word of advice " you can get your point across with out using negative words". :(

mayb its just me but i dont see the point of this thread. If you take the internet seriously then maybe you should be rethinking some things. Nothing wrong with this forum or the people on it. It gets two thumbs up :gj::gj: and im on at least a dozen forums and this is most well ran family friendly forum im on.

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Originally Posted by Deborah

http://i954.photobucket.com/albums/a...r/d5012149.jpg

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Off top but holy crap that is too funny!!:rofl:

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Originally Posted by Seru1

As someone rather new myself I think everyone has been very friendly to me. I've gotten tons of help and made new friends.

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I'm going to stop being friendly if you don't shelve that Flyers logo.

......and now for some pictures of a helpless turtle:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_H4hITeMrqi...indros_275.jpg
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fw7iF68JR8...ndros_hit2.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skiploder

I'm going to stop being friendly if you don't shelve that Flyers logo.

......and now for some pictures of a helpless turtle:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_H4hITeMrqi...indros_275.jpg
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fw7iF68JR8...ndros_hit2.jpg

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:8::banana::rofl:

I hardly go on any other forums, because some are just so rude and ridiculous compared to this one.

Sometimes people are harsh, but we're straightforward. These are living creatures we're working with, they deserve the best we can give them. :gj:

I apologize if I ever came off to you wrongly. I tend to go on the computer to de-stress and often I'm already in a bad mood, so it's not surprising to me if I'm snarky and sarcastic sometimes. (I'm workin' on it. :) )

Not sure what exactly sparked this, but you have the right to your opinion.

That Big Gunns guy has been calling me a punk!

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Originally Posted by Jason Bowden

That Big Gunns guy has been calling me a punk!

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Big Gunns is a midget with short little arms.

This fact has been established via photos published on this site in which he has to stand on a stool to be in a frame with a normal sized human.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jason Bowden

That Big Gunns guy has been calling me a punk!

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Leeetel "punk"...get it straight.:D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skiploder

Big Gunns is a midget with short little arms.

This fact has been established via photos published on this site in which he has to stand on a stool to be in a frame with a normal sized human.

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It was 3 phone books and 5 reptile mags.

BG thinks you're gonna need to give some examples Cowgirl so that the crack crew here can analyze where things went wrong for yah.

BG is off to the gym. You've all heard about that place right? The place you all say you have no time to go to, but you have hours to spend on here.:P:D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Big Gunns

BG thinks you're gonna need to give some examples Cowgirl so that the crack crew here can analyze where things went wrong for yah.

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x2

I dont think its unfriendly. I lurked for quite a awhile before joining and I have had a great experience here. Yes there are some people who love to argue and a few that will jump on the slightest thing that does not agree with them but on the whole its a great forum IMO. Thats human nature unfortunately. The only real problem I have seen here comes from members who are very easily offended and therefore constantly on the defensive. I have had my share of replies that do not agree with me, argue or offend, but I move on. There is so much more good to be gotten from this forum and its members than the bad. They key is to simply take everything with a grain of salt. Some members have a quirky personality or sense of humor that you need to learn is just their way. Others are just plain defensive naturally. Those are the ones I dont deal with. Shockingly there are a few of us here who are aspergers people who have been members for awhile. Honestly if those people can handle this site and its members then it must be a good site.

Any personal issues must be talked over with an admin or mod. If not, you have no right to judge. Just my opinion.

I understand where you are coming from and I've had this discussion before. Usually it's the newbies that don't know anything that people are mean to. I haven't really been upset by anything that the mods have said, it's mostly people who think they are mods that have the attitude problem.

One thing you have to keep in mind on here is that everyone thinks their way of keeping ball pythons is THE best way to keep ball pythons. Take everything with a grain of salt and you'll be alright.

Yeah I know what the OP means. Although I have met a few VERY COOL people. There are others that are just complete jerks for no reason sometimes. Theres also some people who take everything way too serious, and other who go a little over the top with some of the stuff they talk about on this forum.

Just like 20 people have said already, treat it like High School. Theres the cool kids, kids who think they are cool, ect ect. Just find a few people you get along with and maybe try talking to them?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skiploder

I'm going to stop being friendly if you don't shelve that Flyers logo.

......and now for some pictures of a helpless turtle:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_H4hITeMrqi...indros_275.jpg
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fw7iF68JR8...ndros_hit2.jpg

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Dude what team do you pull for? Maybe your hating because they Didn't make the playoffs? :P


GOOOOOOOOOOOO FLYERS!!!!

<------- Logo here to stay but I still love you skip.

i have to say this is one of the nicest sites ive been on most are just google it yourself idiot!

ive learned so much and bettered the life of my reptiles thanks to the BP.net community!

i really like it here but because of all the hate wont disclose where I work. So I mean i love the friends i have here and suck but i wish that i didnt have to hide part of me you know?:confused:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Big Gunns

BG is off to the gym. You've all heard about that place right? The place you all say you have no time to go to, but you have hours to spend on here.:P:D

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Even the non-fans have to admit, that was at least a leeetle funny. :rofl:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Big Gunns

BG is off to the gym. You've all heard about that place right? The place you all say you have no time to go to, but you have hours to spend on here.:P:D

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I have plenty of time to go to the gym but I prefer to eat cheeseburgers instead. :rofl:

I can see where the OP is coming from, as a newbie I have gotten some not so nice responses to some things but one thing you have to remember most of us are animal people. I for one like all of my animals far more than I do most people, and I relate better to them.

I realize that I have far less patience with people and I can come across as short and condescending because of a human’s lack of knowledge etc. That’s why I work with animals and stay far away from customer service. When someone is a little short with me on here I just accept it and move on, because the advice and knowledge I gain is worth a few hurt feelings.

I've been around on the site for sometime now and everyone was very nice and full of information to share when I first got into the hobby and I've learned a lot from this community I've never been on another forums with people so willing to share their money saving secrets and even some of the people putting the time into posting a very descriptive thread with pictures such as in the diy forums with step by step directions and photos for the visual learners.. and yes there are those certain people who may come across rude but those kind of people are everywhere in life hands down the friendliest community I've been involved with.

like everyone else said, gotta treat it like highschool (except the drug part) :rofl:

This is one of the best and most informative fourms on the net in my opinion when it comes to information about ball pythons and other reptiles. No, everyone may not always be friendly, but that is the way it is sometimes. I have respect for all the members with their vast knowledge. I have learned a lot and I am still continuing to learn everyday.

My only comment: If you don't think this is the friendliest reptile community online, you haven't seen the others.

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Originally Posted by WingedWolfPsion

My only comment: If you don't think this is the friendliest reptile community online, you haven't seen the others.

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I couldn't agree more!

And as a note: (not directed at the OP as I've never seen any of her posts)...

When you join a new forum remember... you are coming into a 'family' of individuals who already know each other. http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x...hcatfight1.gif Chances are they come here daily to hang out. So put your best foot forward.

Make sure you use new paragraphs once in awhile instead of running on forever. A new sentence here and there is nice as well. Makes it so much easier for others to read.

http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x...ettyplease.gif Be sure to use spell check so you sound intelligent and articulate. I find people are more apt to take you seriously when you take your posts seriously.

And above all else... have a sense of humour. Don't take things personally. Sometimes it can be hard to read what someone else is really saying - of course if they are offering cookies http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x...hd53360d91.gif http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x...s/thsitups.gif and using an assortment of smilies... http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x...s/thmood13.gif or http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x...thwootwoot.gif it helps to get their mood across.

Just a thought...
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x...ess/th1511.gif
Aleesha

I find this site to be pretty welcoming. I haven't come across anything negative. I've exchanged PMs with people in different parts of the world about different subjects and learned some cool things that way too. Even the one time I violated the TOS - and that was because *I* didn't read it properly :frustrate - myself and the mod who got in contact with me had a good laugh about it and that was that.

I've been on a lot of other sites. I've even modded on one. For the sheer size of this forum, I am continually impressed with the level of civility I find in most threads.

As an individual who has been accused of being a jerk on forums, I think a lot of it has to do with tone and how other people read posts. And learning the difference between someone who will call bs on another, or willingly and unapologetically point out husbandry errors, for example, and someone who is just being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk is a good skill to have as well.

Anyway... I'm rambling now. Sorry! :oops: