Giving up my cats? :(

Well, I plan on getting engaged to my long time girlfriend sometime this year.

I currently have an apartment by myself with my 2 cats that are 5 and 6 years old.

Her little brother and sister are allergic to them.

I know when I go to buy a house this is going to be a pain in the butt. I already told her I will look for a good home because I dont get attached to animals.

But.............the more and more I think about it I think I will be heart broken. It's going to suck bad.

Are their any other alternatives?

Like avoiding allergies and stuff?

And what is the best way to find a good home if this is the case? They must NOT be split up what so ever.

Her brother and sister are going to live with you as well?

They arent but they will want to visit and stuff.

They are a huge Italian family so all those get togethers are constantly happening.

It sucks.

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Originally Posted by N4S

They arent but they will want to visit and stuff.

They are a huge Italian family so all those get togethers are constantly happening.

It sucks.

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Not to be rude or anything..but your not required to make her family comfortable. Keep your cats, you shouldn't have to give you your beloved pets because your brother and sister in-law might visit and might have an allergic reaction.

That's really quite selfish to ask or expect that of you..

I wouldnt give them up in that case NO WAY NO HOW...

If their allergic then they dont have to visit....

They can take some allergy stuff before they come over....

Get togethers can be held at another house....

I thought they were going to be living with you guys.

No man, I wouldnt even THINK about getting rid of my cats in this case.

You are both right. Maybe I really need to just step up and voice my opinion.

I'll pray they dont whack ya:D

Seriously though man....they shouldnt expect that from you.

Like I said, dont visit, take some Allegra, get together at another place....

You have EVERY RIGHT to keep them little kitties:salute:

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Originally Posted by N4S

You are both right. Maybe I really need to just step up and voice my opinion.

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Originally Posted by N4S

You are both right. Maybe I really need to just step up and voice my opinion.

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It's not an opinion its your right..Her family doesn't have a say in what pet you keep..Now she might..but don't start bending over so soon..make it know now that the pets stay..and doing like there's no other choice.

I agree with what everyone else has said. It is extremely selfish of her family to ask you to rehome the cats just because of occasional visits with allergic children. There are over the counter and prescription meds available to deal with this kind of allergy. If the kids were allergic to pollen, would the family lock themselves in the house and ask everyone to change their clothes and shower before entering their home to prevent an allergic reaction?
If you do decide that must rehome them, however, I would recommend seeking the assistance of a reputable rescue. Check the rescue's adoption process as well as their surrender process, so you have an idea of how adoptive families are found,ask for references, check with local SPCA's to see if they work with the rescue. Make sure they are not for profit and check for 501c3 non-profit status. If you can find a rescue that is willing to help, please consider making a donation to the rescue. All of our rescues are inundated with pets that have been turned in due to the economy or changing laws and donations are way down. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and if you need help finding a reputable rescue, feel free to pm me and I'll do what I can.

No way should you even consider giving up your cats! I am allergic to both of my cats but I take allergy medicine. There is no way I would ever give up my cats even though I am allergic to them.

Keep those kitties! As many have said, do not give up your cats because of possible visits from allergic in-laws. If they have a severe enough allergy, then they need to stay away from your place. There are allergy medications they can take as well. I'm actually allergic to my cats and they all sleep in the bed with me. One of the cats even sleeps near my face. I deal with it because they are my babies. Those kitties are your babies and you shouldn't have to get rid of them.

I used to be highly allergic to cats. My eyes would turn bloodshot red and itch like crazy after being in a room for no more than 10 minutes. I would also sneeze non-stop for about 45 minutes after being around them for the 10 or 15 minutes.

I started to do allergy shots for a few months, but wasn't able to keep up with them in the long run. Over the past 2 years, 3 "rescue" cats have been brought into my house and I ended up building an immunity against the cat dander or whatever gets my allergies going. I rarely take any allergy meds to get by.

I looooove my cats. My life would be boring without them in it. Maybe you should keep part of the house "cat-free" by keeping the cats out of certain rooms the kids will be in. I hope you can keep your cats =[

My future sister in law has a BF that is allergic to cats, and she had one at the house. When he first started coming over, he would instantly take allergy pills and still get a reaction. Now that they've been together for almost a year, he recently walked into a cat rescue and didn't sneeze once. Tell them to take allergy pills before they go over, and just don't touch the cats. Not that hard.

I've got a brother in law who is allergic to cats. The only time he comes to visit is when we have an outdoor barbeque in the summer. It works out pretty well, everyone stays outside so he can still come to visit and won't have to worry about being in agony for the rest of the day. It's good to be accomodating, but you shouldn't have to change your lifestyle.

I am allergic to cats. Both of my sisters have cats. My son has a cat. My wife and I have 4 outdoor barn cats. Generally the allergy is to the pet dander you find on the cloth furniture. For a short visit they should be fine, just let them sit in wooden chairs. For longer visits, as a good host you can throw a fresh sheet over one or more of the fabric covered pieces of furniture for them to sit on. The sheet covers any dander on say the couch or a stuffed chair. They should be fine. In extreme cases Benadril is the miracle drug of choice.

Thanks everyone.

Yeah seriously dude, there's no reason to get rid of your pals because someone might visit.

Usually if I am gonna have an allergic visitor. I'll put the cats in my room, dust vacuum, air out the sitting area, and keep some benadryll (sp) on hand.

I'm in a similar situation. I want a cat, but my girl is allergic to them. I've decided to not get one.

However, I see a very distinct difference between not buying a furry animal that your significant other is allergic to, and getting rid of long-term loved pets because you get engaged to someone whose siblings have allergies.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you and your kitties.

So, you told your fiance that you were not attached to these cats and she asked you if you were ok getting rid of them? You told her yes, but now you can't decide?
I realize that this is going to be unpopular, but there are things we do for the ones we love, and the ones that they love too even. I believe that pets are important, but family comes first, even in-laws in my eyes. For close families, not being able to have siblings over would be horrible.
Find the cats a nice home with someone you know and visit them when you want to. If you make this decision to let them go, do it with a good heart and no bitterness to your fiance or her family.

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Originally Posted by N4S

You are both right. Maybe I really need to just step up and voice my opinion.

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Dude, if you don't put your foot down now the family will walk all over you for life. There's no way Big Gunns would give up his puddy cats.:taz: BG has to admit...he's a pudee cat person.:D

To be perfectly honest, this kinda sounds like an excuse your wife to be is using because she doesn't like them.

ps..edit...why the censor for puddy cats???? Wait...BG can figure it out.LOL

Hand out Claritin at the door and tell them to suck it up. Youre not supposed to be giving up animals this early. Youre not married yet, dont give up your jewels earlier than you have to.

I'm severely allergic to cats... and I have 4 of them!

I just take sudafed and allermelts (available at Walgreens) daily, and I get Kenalog shots every 2 months. My love for my cats is way stronger than my hate for my allergies.

Not to be rude, but who cares who's allergic to your pets? They are yours, end of story. I know your trying to be welcoming to your fiance's family, and that's awesome. However, giving up your cats is something I think you'll regret in the future.

Best way to find them a good home? Don't give them away.

I volunteer with a local cat rescue, and people ask questions like this all the time. It's surprising the number of people who suddenly become 'allergic' to their cats.

But lets say you end up wanting to get rid of your cats. I'd say you need atleast a year to find a good home matching the requirements you listed. Why? Here's why:
1. You have two, that have to go together. Most people want one, its rare people come looking for two or more.
2. They're old. Cats are seniors at 7. Everybody wants a young cat, or one who is under 2 years old.
3. They're indoor cats. (I'm hoping since you live in an apartment) People want indoor/outdoor, people want outdoor only, etc.
4. You want them to have a loving home. People come looking for barn cats, or I've even had some ask for unwanted to kittens to feed to her snakes! People take cats for bait for fighting dogs. The list goes on and on.

From my experince, we get a lot of 1-2 year olds in our program that are pairs, and singles. They take on adverage 6 months to get adopted. We on occasion get older cats, and these are cats that are singles, not pairs, they take atleast 8-12 months to find a home. I've been with my current rescue for just about 2 years, since I've been with them, we've only placed 6-8 cats who are older succesfully. Another shelter I've worked at they had older cats who had been there 3+ years looking for homes. These are all cats who have good temperments, who are indoor, and who are friendly. No heath issues or behavior issues.

So assuming you do go ahead with and rehome your cats. PLEASE PLEASE work with a rescue organization in your area, a NO KILL rescue. DO NOT give your cats to a kill shelter. They may tell you oh, yah, we'll find homes for them. They WILL be put down. Older cats aren't considered adoptable by many groups, and often are put down with in a week or two of getting turned in, maybe a month if they're lucky. Please also start looking now for a a new home. Like I said it can take a long time to find them a home, don't expect to use craigslist and find them a home in 24 hours. (I see that way to often...).

I'm sorry to be so long winded but it's something I deal with almost daily, and feel strongly about. There have been a lot of good posts on what to do if you keep them, which I hope you do! There is no reason the future in-law family can't be thoughtful of your family! I'd rethink getting involved with someone who make me give up a part of my family and life.

My mom and sister are allergic to cats. I have two of them. It usually keeps visits short and sweet...not that I don't love my family, but c'mon!

I'd also like to add that it will never work to keep them together forever. Unless you found a close friend or family member to take them. Remember that anyone you give them too does not love them as much as you do. And if they are a stranger, they most likely will give no mind to what you say after they are in their hands.

Interesting topic... If it was me I would weigh the situation carefully before acting, tell you GF that the cats stay now will most likely end in a fight... Keeping the cats means you know they will have a good home but may lead to you being alone with your cats till you die :( That would suck... You said you didn't get attached but then changed your mind but if you had to chose cats or girl which would it be? I know I'd pick girl and remember some people on here may have already chosen cats or pets over love, I wonder if they even think they made the right choice anymore....